My uncle has had to recently become vegetarian due to a lifetime of methamphetamine consumption, cancer, and diverticulitis. I moved in with him in January and the newly acquired high fiber diet has him shitting off of a short handle. This, combined with constant neurological twitches from the tweaking itches culminates a ton of material.
We get home usually around the same time from work, he is a boiler engineer for kaiser, which is a good hour away from the mountain here. I got back, and the whole front house drive way is full of water and smelt negligible to intestine compost. I started putting two and two together. Fucking nozzle hose on the ground, rank stank, shower is already running... This dude got stuck in a bit of traffic, and the dark matter stuck in his colon couldn't wait. I'm putting the image of my overweight uncle just blowing digested corn off of his ballsack at high psi; pissed off, stankin', face muscles pulling full throttle uncontrollably...
When I see him about half an hour later I call him out on shatting his britches, to which he tells me the garbage disposal backed up and he had to blow it out with a sink balloon and the nozzle hose.
I want to put that into a three minute or so thing and hit an open mic in a couple weeks at Flappers here in Claremont.
Topic: Comedic Pursuits (Read 4782 times)