funnist im sick or cant work excuse ? best

[Chavo]

Resurrecting this thread after a co-worker called out for two days due to becoming stressed out after another co-worker was yelled at by a client. She had nothing to do with any of this, just watched someone else get yelled at from a distance.

[Jordick]

responsibility's cool, but there's more things to life, like gettin ya dick, rode all fuckin night.

[botefdunn]

quitting a shitty labour job to move to a faraway land.i've seen a few bosses get a look like what i said just doesn't compute.

[Cuban_Lynx]

Last year I called in because my Metra train got struck by lightning and the engine died.

In 2004, I had an internship in Florida and called in because a huge fucking alligator was sunbathing by my driver's side door.