Author Topic: awkwardboners.com (Read 3390 times)

I like to party! · « **on:** May 04, 2009, 06:18:14 PM »

http://www.awkwardboners.com/

a little weird but good for a laugh

Watson · « **Reply #1 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:15:35 PM »

One time I went over to my friend's house and was chilling and watching skate videos, and he had to go to bed early so before I left I called this girl I was really good friends with to see if she wanted to hang out. So afterwards I went over to her house to watch a movie. We were always really friendly and cuddly and she told me before she wanted to bone, but for some reason I never went for it. (Huge regret.) Anyway, we ended up watching a movie and spooning, and then that turned into a back rub, which turned into playing with her boobs. She was wearing a wife beater and she had giant boobs. Like seriously massive. So after feeling up her tits for a bit, she got up and went to the bathroom, and when she came back she was like "I took my bra off, I figured that would make it easier for you."

So obviously it was on. We started going at it like crazy, making out, dry humping, tits out, all in the face, savage passion. So after that went on for awhile, we were about to take it to the bedroom when we heard her mom upstairs and she was like "Michelle, you have to be up in 4 hours to drive to Calgary! You better send your friend home and get some sleep!" So that was it, I had to leave.

So she put her tits away and walked me to the door. It was the early 00's and as I said I wasn't planning on hanging out with a chick so I was wearing sweat pant shorts. After the make out session I was rocking the most insane tent under those shorts I've ever seen. It was actually hilarious. So there we stood at the door, "So yeah uhhhh... I guess call me when you get back in to town." both not acknowledging the giant boner pitching a tent in my sweat pant cargo shorts.

It was a pretty awkward boner.

All Hail Wu Welsh · « **Reply #2 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:18:27 PM »

watson you should write a novel on your erotic misadventures

Watson · « **Reply #3 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:20:55 PM »

Oh there not all MISadventures my friend.

max power · « **Reply #4 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:23:08 PM »

Quote from: Watson on May 04, 2009, 07:20:55 PM

Oh there not all MISadventures my friend.

erotic MRadventures?

Watson · « **Reply #5 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:26:05 PM »

Ha! Oops. Errrrrr uhhhhh not what I was getting at.

I like to party! · « **Reply #6 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:27:42 PM »

sir u made my thread so much better with ur story

Dr. Newton 2.0 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 04, 2009, 07:39:28 PM »

I am not going to anything with "boners.com" in it.

google image search · « **Reply #8 on:** May 04, 2009, 08:12:03 PM »

I was watching Irreversible with my girlfriend at the time and I got a boner when Monica Bellucci got raped. It was awkward. She didn't notice but if she had it would have been problems

bentmode · « **Reply #9 on:** May 04, 2009, 08:34:09 PM »

Quote from: google image search on May 04, 2009, 08:12:03 PM

I was watching Irreversible with my girlfriend at the time and I got a boner when Monica Bellucci got raped. It was awkward. She didn't notice but if she had it would have been problems

its last at least half an hour. how are you not going to get a boner. you could have jerked it came and the bitch is still getting raped.

wake and bacon · « **Reply #10 on:** May 04, 2009, 09:26:23 PM »

word to big bird

SFblah · « **Reply #11 on:** May 04, 2009, 09:52:49 PM »

I was crying at this one. HAHA!

Binomial Nomenclature · « **Reply #12 on:** May 05, 2009, 03:22:37 AM »

On time on the bus a friend of mine got a boner and shouted "No Reason Boner" and started showing off his pants tent.

angryfacedman · « **Reply #13 on:** May 05, 2009, 05:31:14 AM »

Love that site. I Check it all the time for updates.

beeda weeda · « **Reply #14 on:** May 05, 2009, 09:46:05 AM »

i went to a canadian catholic high school, full of sexy girls, and these horrible uniform pants that would expose even a semi , and like clockwork the 9:15 am boner was always exposable,, this is where I learned the art of tucking it behind my belt, or wastband of my boxers, now I'm older and more comfortable with myself , I never hide boners, they are dope as fuck and its a great chance to show off my goods, without getting too creepy.

Gomez · « **Reply #15 on:** May 05, 2009, 05:36:22 PM »

so awkward. damn, you can't even tuck it in the waistline when you're shirtless because then your head will show up. so you're pretty much fucked.

max power · « **Reply #16 on:** May 05, 2009, 05:43:43 PM »

the way to deal with that one is to go to the side and up then pretending to readjust yourself until you can find somewhere to sit down

lazy · « **Reply #17 on:** May 05, 2009, 07:35:18 PM »

Quote from: Gomez on May 05, 2009, 05:36:22 PM

so awkward. damn, you can't even tuck it in the waistline when you're shirtless because then your head will show up. so you're pretty much fucked.

i think the more notable thing about the picture is... how he's just letting it stand there, without a care. Arms crossed too, like he's condemning those girls infront of him for giving him a god damn boner, look at his scowl.

Prison Wallet · « **Reply #18 on:** May 05, 2009, 09:02:45 PM »

That dude's pretty much my mental picture of Dr. Newt.

odp · « **Reply #19 on:** May 05, 2009, 09:11:33 PM »

aaaaaaaaahahaha. i'm fucking crying over here.

the tuck rule is key. when i rode the bus in middle school i got a boner every AM, from the bumps and watching the tits of the girl in front of me bounce.

wet dreams were the worst. One timein 7th grade, i was staying over my boy frankies crib. We had been digging through his dad's hustler stash all night, scoping that shit out. I went to sleep with blackshorts on. when i woke up there was gnarly ass white stains all on the front. they were all i had to wear. luckily homie threw me some gym shorts and a trash bag.

paulhartman4prez · « **Reply #20 on:** May 05, 2009, 09:42:03 PM »

Quote from: odp on May 05, 2009, 09:11:33 PM

luckily homie threw me some gym shorts and a trash bag.

homie for life

tag_king · « **Reply #21 on:** May 05, 2009, 10:06:15 PM »

I will probably get hated on for this, but I remember the most awkward boner I had ever witnessed.. and this happened when I was probably 8 or something. I was at a family trip in vermont and we were at a pool. I see in the distance this guy going up to girls and putting their hand on his neck and then like passing out basically.. like just dropping his head. As he got closer I realized he had a massive erection, and has he got even closer, I realized he was mentally handicapped. He would walk a couple feet, and then open up his swim trunks and try to push it down, but that sure didn't help. It was strange to say the least.

As for the website, I liked the video one of the guy and girl doing a scene in the movie and everyone having a laugh afterwards.

??? · « **Reply #22 on:** May 05, 2009, 10:13:25 PM »

Quote from: lazy bars on May 05, 2009, 07:35:18 PM

Quote from: Gomez on May 05, 2009, 05:36:22 PM
Expand Quote

so awkward. damn, you can't even tuck it in the waistline when you're shirtless because then your head will show up. so you're pretty much fucked.
[close]

i think the more notable thing about the picture is... how he's just letting it stand there, without a care. Arms crossed too, like he's condemning those girls infront of him for giving him a god damn boner, look at his scowl.

he's not even looking at those girls in front of him. he's probably more concerned about the free pizza he is about to eat.

Kindu · « **Reply #23 on:** May 06, 2009, 07:29:50 PM »

Kindu remember,

Kindu on leave from Central Africa Republic, in Zoo in California. Kindu work at Quiznos, in mall, first job. Kindu register, so up all day looking pretty females. Kindu tall Silverback, very tall, counter lower than kindu garbage, mid thigh. One day, HB 9 come in, smooth smooth, breasts out bra more wild than me! Her breasts no be contained......Set up of counter like this: you 2 /1/2 feet away from Kindu. Kindu wearing similar Kahki uniform pant as catholic school canada...

Kindu-"Hi, how you today, this all want?"
HB9- "Mmm, yeah"
*Kindu penis start engorge blood, Kindu don't want duck down member below counter, obvious, so Kindu no look down, hope not easy to see*
Kindu-"OK, Total is x"
HB9-"......." *hand kindu money, with "OMG WTF! CREEP!" look in face.*
Kindu-"O-out,*Kindu take gulp* of t-ten??"

Kindu hand change, girl already 1 step away, looking for door, hand grabbing change with same look on face rolling eyes, Kindu know she never eat toasted sandwich ever again.....too bad image every time she see one...

Kindu most awkward boner...yes....

Upgrayedd · « **Reply #24 on:** May 06, 2009, 08:30:51 PM »

i was pretty drunk one night, and a friend of the girl my old roommate was dating came over. so we were talking and all that jazz, we end up falling asleep curled up together watching a movie, at about 3 am i get a massive one, and i'm in pajama pants. still half drunk, i was pretty stoked that it still worked, but i was nervous about what she would say if she was still awake. i try to fall back asleep when i hear "is that your penis?" and still a little drunk, i think im smooth and i answer "depends on if its small". she says something like "no, of course not." and i somehow manage to talk myself into a one nighter. good times

Mooley · « **Reply #25 on:** May 06, 2009, 08:31:47 PM »

Quote from: Binomial Nomenclature on May 05, 2009, 03:22:37 AM

On time on the bus a friend of mine got a boner and shouted "No Reason Boner" and started showing off his pants tent.

The ol' NRB, that's awesome that he just owned it.

Author Topic: awkwardboners.com (Read 3390 times)

I like to party!

I like to party!

Dr. Newton 2.0

google image search

angryfacedman

beeda weeda

odp