Mental Health Issues

[boi-cuzudo]

I'm sending love to everyone <3
Fuck depression, fuck drugs, fuck society, let's skate and laugh it off! <3

[boi-cuzudo]

"I wonder if depression ever ends
Or if it will end me
I'm still dancing on the edge of the blade
Till it cuts me in half
Some days I feel everything at once
Other days I feel nothing at all
So what's worse?
Drowning beneath the waves or dying from the thirst?
I dropped my Prozac from one day to the other
I do not regret, why should I bother?
I just wonder what will happen?!
Maybe it will kill me... eventually set me free...
Neither do I ask the night to explain
I wait for it and it envelops me
And so you, me, gloom and light...
...and shadows... are
Don't charm away my melancholy, it's everything I've got
To me it's kind of death, but I'm forced to keep living
I won't glorify or romanticize what you call heartbreak
But nothing in this world was promised or belong to you
Someday someone won't be afraid of the lows I drag
They won't stay on the shore, they'll meet me in the depths
I am not dead but also not alive
I seem like a ghost with a beating heart
Cause death is not the greatest loss in life
But what dies inside us while we fledge
We are walking away quietly into empty spaces
We are trying to close the gaps of the past
Cause of all sad words of tongue or pen
The saddest are these: 'It might have been'
Don't charm away my melancholy, it's everything I've got
To me it's kind of death, but I'm forced to keep living
I won't glorify or romanticize what you call heartbreak
But nothing in this world was promised or belonged to you...
...was promised or belonged to you."

Harakiri for the Sky

[ahmadus]

I know my reply is a bit late, but I wanted to chime in and say that I can totally relate to what you're going through. Dealing with depression and anxiety myself for a while was tough, and those sky-high costs of seeking help can really be a roadblock. But you know what? I finally decided to reach out to a 24-hour mental health hotline when I hit a breaking point. And guess what? Their specialists were a game-changer! They provided me with support and guidance, talked me through my options, and helped me find treatments that worked for me – all without breaking the bank. It's been a journey, but I can genuinely say I'm feeling better. Hang in there and don't hesitate to explore all the resources available.

[Richsouth88]

I recently had a severe nervous/mental breakdown that all stemmed from my teeth. Years of not looking after them lead to a lot of issues and It’s caused me judge myself and feel embarrassed and ashamed . Now having to get some dental implants to replace some missing back teeth and fear for some reason my whole life is going to change because of it . I’ve had to go on meds and take time off work to basically just cry everyday out of embarrassment and anger . I’m so sorry to anyone having to deal with anything mental health based , my life was finally getting good and now it’s ruined by my own past decisions.

[Ankle_Lift]

Anyone have any legit experience with microdosing psilocybin? Like 100mg capsules with the four/three dosing schedule?

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety most of my life, and I guess have PTSD from past work as a paramedic.
Things came to a head back in April and I've been going to councelling, and started taking an SNRI. It fucked me up and the cons outweighed the pros.  I don't want to try any more varieties of them like the doctor wants me to, and don't want to deal with any of the side effects of them. So it's like, feel shitty without meds, or feel shitty while taking meds. I currently have brain zaps from going off meds. It sucks.

I've heard good things about microdosing, but I'm not sure how much is just like, wanna be psychedelic trippers on the Internet making things sound awesome when they're not, if that makes sense. I've read a bunch of stuff from John Hopkins University and it seems decent what they have found.
I have a friend at work that did some microdosing, but he's just like "oh it helps me slay at guitar!"  and that's not really what I'm looking for.
I have a lot of experience with psilocybin in my past, but not microdosing. At least with psilocybin I know what the side effects are, and not what they are from prescribed meds with names I can't even spell.

I guess I am reaching out on here for info because it's kind of the place with the most "normal" people I can think of. I mean I could look it up on Reddit, but you never know on there who's a six year old, or just an adult that just  writes like a six year old, plus it's filled with absolute morons.

Anyway, any first hand experiences or whatever is greatly appreciated. 
Thanks homies.

[EdLawndale]

I'm not on any medication and haven't microdosed a standard amount on any sort of regular basis. But there have deffo been weekends where I pop a few caps, not enough to trip, but basically enough to go around town and live life and I feel like my mood is lifted and I can appreciate natural beauty and problem solve very easily. I don't act all weird at all, it just seems like things don't really bother me. More importantly, the elation/lucidation seems to last for up to a week or two after. There have been a few times later where I felt depression, almost like a crash, but I would not classify it as such as it has been quite mellow.

Just know your limits and be safe.

[Sila]

Micro dosing is not some kind of magic but it just helps you get over the edge especially if you struggle with mundane everyday things like leaving the house, picking up the phone to call someone, walking your dog etc. It's just a little boost. I wouldn't mix it with too much caffeine either. It always helped me but I stopped because it's also easy to take a little bit too much.

[Tiltmode Army Reservist]

I had myself a depression session this morning.

Day off work, empty park, excellent weather, fresh shoes, fresh deck. Friend said he'd be there too. Should've been an all-time great session.

Friend didn't show up. Another friend who is always there got hurt and left early. I skated for about 45 minutes, and just wasn't feeling it. Then the park started to fill up JUST enough to where it felt like no matter where I was, I was in someone's way.

I drove to two other spots, and I couldn't even get my board out of the car.

So I came back home.

I know it'll be like that sometimes, but damn.

[Sila]

Been diagnosed with major depression since around 13, coincidentally that was about the time I started skating. Like a lot of us, skating used to be either my escape or reason to leave the house and explore and interact with the world. After a rough string of injuries it's just not the same right now and skating has become a source of anxiety and confusion and disappointment. I know I gotta take it easy and push around the streets and have a few solid sessions to get over it but just looking at my board has been playing with my head.

[Tiltmode Army Reservist]

Been diagnosed with major depression since around 13, coincidentally that was about the time I started skating. Like a lot of us, skating used to be either my escape or reason to leave the house and explore and interact with the world. After a rough string of injuries it's just not the same right now and skating has become a source of anxiety and confusion and disappointment. I know I gotta take it easy and push around the streets and have a few solid sessions to get over it but just looking at my board has been playing with my head.

I am sorry to hear about your struggles, and I totally get how easily and quickly skateboarding can ping-pong between the most fun thing ever, and a source of anxiety. We'll figure this out and get back to that fun mindset soon enough, just gotta weather the storms.

[Tiltmode Army Reservist]

I had a MUCH better session this morning from a mental health standpoint. More friends showed up today vs Wednesday (one of which joined me for the first time which was rad), and even though I didn't land shit and it was humid as all fuck and I swamp-assed harder than I have in a long time (I thought summer was over and I didn't have to skate in shorts anymore, and I thought wrong), I'm much happier with today's session vs the one I wrote about a few posts above. Also, that second session with a new deck and new shoes always seems to go better than that first one.

You just gotta hang in there, keep fighting, keep showing up, and eventually things settle as they should. I hope everyone reading this can stay strong. The world needs all the skateboarders it can cultivate.

[maxpalmerfan]

just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall

[Tiltmode Army Reservist]

just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall

I'm sorry to hear about what you're suffering through, but I am glad you got some sunlight today. That's progress and you should be damn proud of that. Don't feel like you need to rush things either; when you're ready, your skateboard will be too.

I quit drinking about six years ago, and I clearly remember those first few weeks being the most difficult. Spanky said it really well when he described that period of his recovery as "building up genuine armor, after spending years behind artificial armor." Again, just keep stacking days, and then you'll be stacking weeks, months, and years.

Also, the mental and physical health benefits are great, but so is the extra spending money you get by not drinking. Suddenly you're not having to skate razor tailed boards, or shoes that tear up your socks when you skate. You're on a great path, you just gotta stay on it.

[Ankle_Lift]

just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall

Stay strong, brother. 

Try vaping some 10:1 CBD. It might help. Helps me sleep and calms me down.

[maxpalmerfan]

Expand Quote

just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall

[close]

I'm sorry to hear about what you're suffering through, but I am glad you got some sunlight today. That's progress and you should be damn proud of that. Don't feel like you need to rush things either; when you're ready, your skateboard will be too.

I quit drinking about six years ago, and I clearly remember those first few weeks being the most difficult. Spanky said it really well when he described that period of his recovery as "building up genuine armor, after spending years behind artificial armor." Again, just keep stacking days, and then you'll be stacking weeks, months, and years.

Also, the mental and physical health benefits are great, but so is the extra spending money you get by not drinking. Suddenly you're not having to skate razor tailed boards, or shoes that tear up your socks when you skate. You're on a great path, you just gotta stay on it.

its very reassuring to hear your first few weeks after you quit drinking were tough as well. i dont think i was taking into consideration how much i was drinking, which is probably very common for other skaters in their early 20s lol. thank you for the kind words, i needed it today

[maxpalmerfan]

Expand Quote

just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall

[close]

Stay strong, brother. 

Try vaping some 10:1 CBD. It might help. Helps me sleep and calms me down.

funny enough i just got a CBD vape in the mail yesterday, regular THC is what got me to this point with dpdr but i seem to have luck with CBD

[Arjuhasek]

I can feel the weight of your words, and I want you to know that you're not alone in your struggles. Depression can be incredibly tough, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed by it. It's brave of you to express your feelings so honestly.

While I can't pretend to fully understand what you're going through, I want to offer some support. It's essential to remember that there is hope, even in the darkest moments. Seeking help from professionals or talking to someone you trust can make a significant difference.

I also want to mention I have nosophobia, an anxiety disorder that can add another layer to these feelings. Understanding and acknowledging our mental health challenges is an essential step towards healing. If you ever need someone to talk to or resources to support you, MentalHealth.com offers valuable information. Take care of yourself, and know that brighter days are possible, even when it feels like you're dancing on the edge.

[JM]

Just watched this from Why so Sad, read by Rattray.

EMDR, and “What Happened to You” are great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1FaU9fB,9c

[LeDave]

I've been diagnosed with depression since 2009 when I was in the Marines. I've had a couple of major suicide attempts including jumping out of a building and overdosing on my medications. I've been hospitalized about 9 times in a psychiatric unit.

[Mbrimson88]

.

I don't talk about it much, but I feel like skateboarding has really saved my life.

Others I know have said that is definitely the case for them - having a skateboard and being able to get out and do their own thing, when everything else around them was going down hill fast, or just an outlet or a thing that had no teams, no acceptance requirements, no rules, regardless of what some people might say - this has been the lifesaver for so many people, so I just take it as it comes, enjoy it while I can and don't try to over think anything.

Any which way, it is not like a pet, or partner, or needy family member - you get whatever you want out of it, as often or as little as needed, or when you want to as well, so there are so many things that just make it a positive thing, even with the associated issues, like injury, cost of product or any other factors.

[JM]

.

I don't talk about it much, but I feel like skateboarding has really saved my life.

Others I know have said that is definitely the case for them - having a skateboard and being able to get out and do their own thing, when everything else around them was going down hill fast, or just an outlet or a thing that had no teams, no acceptance requirements, no rules, regardless of what some people might say - this has been the lifesaver for so many people, so I just take it as it comes, enjoy it while I can and don't try to over think anything.

Any which way, it is not like a pet, or partner, or needy family member - you get whatever you want out of it, as often or as little as needed, or when you want to as well, so there are so many things that just make it a positive thing, even with the associated issues, like injury, cost of product or any other factors.

Did you by chance watch the comic posted above narrated by Rattray?

I’m with you on skating really helping out through some heavy mental shit… and it’s like we had no idea.

It’s not a bad way to cope with things… as long as there’s some real healing, too.

[Mbrimson88]

Expand Quote

.

I don't talk about it much, but I feel like skateboarding has really saved my life.

Others I know have said that is definitely the case for them - having a skateboard and being able to get out and do their own thing, when everything else around them was going down hill fast, or just an outlet or a thing that had no teams, no acceptance requirements, no rules, regardless of what some people might say - this has been the lifesaver for so many people, so I just take it as it comes, enjoy it while I can and don't try to over think anything.

Any which way, it is not like a pet, or partner, or needy family member - you get whatever you want out of it, as often or as little as needed, or when you want to as well, so there are so many things that just make it a positive thing, even with the associated issues, like injury, cost of product or any other factors.

[close]

Did you by chance watch the comic posted above narrated by Rattray?

I’m with you on skating really helping out through some heavy mental shit… and it’s like we had no idea.

It’s not a bad way to cope with things… as long as there’s some real healing, too.

No I often don't watch a whole lot of anything much any more, maybe just some certain / specific peoples clips if anything other than plain skate videos, but I know he is very much involved in good things, as per his board a while back for Real - Actions Realised.

I should check it when I have more than a second free.

[Dmng]

Do you think a lot of skaters have something in common mentally ?
I’ve watched the baker video on YouTube and Andrew Reynolds at some points compares skating to monks mediation. I do feel it empties my head so much, makes me feel so light mentally when I’m skating.
The use of alcohol and drugs, even at a very high skating level also makes me think we are looking for mental freedom and switch our brain off.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

Thrilled to see skateboarders talking about mental health. There’s times where I feel as if it’s still overtly taboo to do so….

I suffer from anxiety & OCD.I’m an LSW by trade so it feels a tad complex at times as I’m super aware of patterns, etc. It’s hard when I work with a client & provide them with interventions & they work & I’m sitting in my nice office saying in my head “oh if only I could do it”. Here’s to say; therapy works, meds are just water wings AND DO NOT DEFINE YOU NOR ARE A CRUTCH, & for the love of Goodness, don’t go on what a friend says or Reddit. Talk to someone, talk to a professional & know that you matter. I’m here if anyone wants to chat.