Author Topic: Need to pass a drug test on Monday (Read 6546 times)

offkilter · « **on:** July 19, 2019, 11:28:53 AM »

I work in a mine right now (in the office) and whenever there’s an accident everyone on site gets pee tested. It’s a seasonal job (May-October) and I was hoping nothing would happen because apparently there haven’t been any accidents in a few years, but today a guy hit a pole and bent a headlight on his excavator. I smoke weed every day and wanted to see if any of you guys have successfully detoxed for a pee test, there are so many options and I don’t know where to start.

SneakySecrets · « **Reply #1 on:** July 19, 2019, 11:36:13 AM »

They even test the office staff even though you had nothing to do with the accident? Seems like overkill.

arrbee · « **Reply #2 on:** July 19, 2019, 11:57:42 AM »

Piss in everyone's samples like wokaholic style

L33Tg33k · « **Reply #3 on:** July 19, 2019, 12:12:38 PM »

You better drink at least 3 gallons of water everyday before the test. The more you drink the better.

verbal ham · « **Reply #4 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:02:29 PM »

someones clean piss
ina condom
strapped to your leg

offkilter · « **Reply #5 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:04:08 PM »

Quote from: SneakySecrets on July 19, 2019, 11:36:13 AM

They even test the office staff even though you had nothing to do with the accident? Seems like overkill.

Yep it is, plus I live in CA and can buy weed at the store, the joys of working for mega corporations.

verbal ham · « **Reply #6 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:05:27 PM »

maybe being honest
will change everything for you

givecigstosurfgroms · « **Reply #7 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:08:59 PM »

Quote from: verbal ham on July 19, 2019, 01:05:27 PM

maybe being honest
will change everything for you

Uh -I think thats what hes worried about there Evan Smith.

SHIREFLIP · « **Reply #8 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:10:13 PM »

Quote from: arrbee on July 19, 2019, 11:57:42 AM

Piss in everyone's samples like wokaholic style

They can’t fire everybody.

verbal ham · « **Reply #9 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:25:02 PM »

smoke crack to come up with some new solutions

friendly dave · « **Reply #10 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:29:40 PM »

Take a shot of your own cum.

schralp pal · « **Reply #11 on:** July 19, 2019, 01:38:58 PM »

Water and diluted 100% cranberry juice, just gotta flush it out, I did it four days once and I smoke everyday.

childhood · « **Reply #12 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:02:12 PM »

Knowing any specifics about what kind of test you're getting (if temperature is an issue, if pot is definitely tested for on it, if they'll literally be watching you piss, really anything about the overall quality of the test, etc), would be really useful for figuring out what you need to do to get around it.
I'd say ask a coworker who's been tested for specifics about it, and go from there.

But yeah, drinking a ton of water, and not using the first urine of the day is probably the best basic advice really.
I have a friend who almost didn't get a job though, cause his test came back negative, but very diluted, just cause he'd been drinking so much water.

brent · « **Reply #13 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:09:45 PM »

drinking your own cum actually works

doublesteveburger · « **Reply #14 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:16:54 PM »

My girlfriend has taken Niacin pills and it’s worked for her one two separate occasions but I think she wants to break up with me so I don’t know if you want to listen to me.

Bagelskate · « **Reply #15 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:24:32 PM »

Take the test mid stream. The beginning and end are more prone to positive tests

offkilter · « **Reply #16 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:39:46 PM »

Quote from: childhood on July 19, 2019, 02:02:12 PM

Knowing any specifics about what kind of test you're getting (if temperature is an issue, if pot is definitely tested for on it, if they'll literally be watching you piss, really anything about the overall quality of the test, etc), would be really useful for figuring out what you need to do to get around it.
I'd say ask a coworker who's been tested for specifics about it, and go from there.

But yeah, drinking a ton of water, and not using the first urine of the day is probably the best basic advice really.
I have a friend who almost didn't get a job though, cause his test came back negative, but very diluted, just cause he'd been drinking so much water.

Okay so here’s an update, they switched to hair testing this year so I’m pretty much definitely fucked right?

Or do I just need to drink a little extra jizz?

Bagelskate · « **Reply #17 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:42:58 PM »

Shave the whole body. It’s the only way

childhood · « **Reply #18 on:** July 19, 2019, 02:59:33 PM »

Ouch, yeah dude you might just be fucked.

Might as well guzzle Rod Stewart-levels of loads though, just to be safe.

offkilter · « **Reply #19 on:** July 19, 2019, 03:16:04 PM »

Hey well if there’s one thing I learned from this thread it’s that Rod Stewart has nice loads.

guest1 · « **Reply #20 on:** July 19, 2019, 03:34:49 PM »

Yeah you’re fucked.

oyolar · « **Reply #21 on:** July 19, 2019, 03:41:48 PM »

We got you: https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?topic=4212.0

childhood · « **Reply #22 on:** July 19, 2019, 03:47:09 PM »

Quote from: offkilter on July 19, 2019, 03:16:04 PM

Hey well if there’s one thing I learned from this thread it’s that Rod Stewart has nice loads.

No no, RS swallows nice loads, you've learned nothing.
https://gawker.com/5955202/at-last-rod-stewart-breaks-his-silence-on-getting-his-semen-filled-stomach-pumped

WastedHippy · « **Reply #23 on:** July 19, 2019, 04:13:10 PM »

Curious to how this will turn out so posting to stay updated, good luck man and may the power of Rod''s jizz carry you through

DirtyBurger · « **Reply #24 on:** July 19, 2019, 06:18:11 PM »

Drug tests are just a way to check that everyone who works for you is responsible enough to go out, find clean piss, and tape it to your thigh. Every time I've been drug tested no one is even in the bathroom with me.

Just to be safe though, drink some jizz. Can't be to safe.

Nosferatu · « **Reply #25 on:** July 19, 2019, 06:31:48 PM »

Quote from: brent on July 19, 2019, 02:09:45 PM

drinking your own cum actually works

I mix mine with some kool aid and it actually tastes pretty good. Smoke an 1/8 a week and never failed a drug test.

arrbee · « **Reply #26 on:** July 19, 2019, 07:19:06 PM »

Quote from: offkilter on July 19, 2019, 01:04:08 PM

Quote from: SneakySecrets on July 19, 2019, 11:36:13 AM
Expand Quote
They even test the office staff even though you had nothing to do with the accident? Seems like overkill.
[close]

Yep it is, plus I live in CA and can buy weed at the store, the joys of working for mega corporations.

Man this is the worst. I don’t live in a recreational state but there is medical and most companies are saying if it breaks federal law it’s still a policy.

Quote from: verbal ham on July 19, 2019, 01:05:27 PM

maybe being honest
will change everything for you

Exactly! Honesty!

“Yes HR, that guy that hit the pole. I think I saw him smoking meth in the parking lot”

“Glad I got that off my chest”

Jehoshaphat Augustus · « **Reply #27 on:** July 19, 2019, 07:57:17 PM »

Synthetic Urine has helped me since 2008.
https://www.quickfixurine.com/ this brand exclusively.
Head shops stock it.

Heat the bottle in the micro for 15 seconds no longer
Get some compression shorts or tight whities
Stick the warmed bottle under your nuts in the gooch area
The new bottle has a flip top that's never leaked for me.
Pour the entire contents into the specimen cup
Urinate in the toilet bowl and dump the rest out if there is any.
Do not flush the toilet or they will violate you

I cant stress this part enough--
Practice your exact movements
Fumbling around during this time can result in failure, my hands got too sweaty and I used my teeth to open the cap and got a little "fake" pee in my mouth.

The things we do to keep the lights on...

feedmeseymour · « **Reply #28 on:** July 19, 2019, 08:07:45 PM »

Synthetic piss works every time

Barf The Mog · « **Reply #29 on:** July 19, 2019, 08:33:59 PM »

Author Topic: Need to pass a drug test on Monday (Read 6546 times)

SHIREFLIP

doublesteveburger

guest1

feedmeseymour

Barf The Mog