Open Relationships

[Sick Duck]

It will never work if it’s any sort of serious relationship

[WastedHippy]

Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.

If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.

This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"

[sexualhelon]

Expand Quote

Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.

If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.

[close]

This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"

That's why it's not worth it to me. I feel like there's so many more things I should be spending my time on rather than worrying about other women and swiping on tinder. Being in two different relationships, starting a new one, would be way too much time and effort. Maybe if I just hooked up with someone on a solo holiday but I can refrain - don't really need it. It made more sense to me during that 1.8 years apart and part of that was also before our relationship was really solidified.

She brought it up, we talked way too much about it, decided to give it a go, she had a couple of crushes, got oddly attached to a dude after hanging out for 3 days who broke it off, and then we ended the open thing. Nothing really happened aside from emotional baggage. I think she thought that wanted another strong emotional intimate connection but realized it's too much for her/us and not worth it.

But yeah, I'd say that sucked but it does feel like it surprisingly brought us closer together in the end. I value her being honest about it rather than cheating.

Kudos to whoever's in an open or poly relationship though if that works for you.

[mynameisnotjeff]

I don't see anything wrong with polyamory as long as both parties consent, but most of the people I know who have done it never seem particularly happy about it. If it isn't to try and revitalize a failing relationship it's usually one partner who wants to do it with the other begrudgingly agreeing to it. One of my friends will constantly try and tell me how freeing and beautiful it is, but then will always complain when her partner does it even within their agreement.

I feel like similar to your friend it's one sided. It becomes selfish and I've seen people wanting to have a person they can see as a "homebase" without giving the opportunity to go out and mess around. A figure that will care for them and be almost parental in some situations.

I personally, feel like I may be territorial and if I like someone it's just me and them and I put in and hope to give back what I've put in the relationship.

[lampshade]

No way.  Especially with a wife.  Think about this- Almost any woman can have sex/hook up anytime she wants, but it can be difficult for a guy to get with a quality chick, especially if she knows the guy is married and just wants sex. 

[versacekid420]

I read it all and read through some of the responses. Everyone (that I read) said the same thing but in different ways. I’d say you do whatever makes you the happiest and won’t jeopardize your happiness in the long run if things go bad. Like some people have said, if she values the sexual company of other people more than a real relationship/marriage with you, move on. It sucks, especially if you’re invested in her, but I promise the emotional toll that has is way less of a pain that it’d be if you drag it along. Maybe what she needs is for you to say ‘if you’re gonna be with other people, I’m not gonna be around’ and it’ll make her snap out of whatever headspace she’s in. If it doesn’t then that’s all you need to know. Although I dont know you, I hope it all works out for you man, I really do. If needed, my inbox is always open to talk through these things. Goes for anyone.

[versacekid420]

Also really glad I took the time to come to this section of slap. Never really took the time to check it out, but it’s sick. Just people talking about everything unrelated to skateboarding (for the most part). I love skating with everything in me but the ‘skate skate skate’ mentality seems to turn me off from time to time. Just regular people talking about regular shit

[LordManHammer]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.

If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.

[close]

This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"

[close]

That's why it's not worth it to me. I feel like there's so many more things I should be spending my time on rather than worrying about other women and swiping on tinder. Being in two different relationships, starting a new one, would be way too much time and effort. Maybe if I just hooked up with someone on a solo holiday but I can refrain - don't really need it. It made more sense to me during that 1.8 years apart and part of that was also before our relationship was really solidified.

She brought it up, we talked way too much about it, decided to give it a go, she had a couple of crushes, got oddly attached to a dude after hanging out for 3 days who broke it off, and then we ended the open thing. Nothing really happened aside from emotional baggage. I think she thought that wanted another strong emotional intimate connection but realized it's too much for her/us and not worth it.

But yeah, I'd say that sucked but it does feel like it surprisingly brought us closer together in the end. I value her being honest about it rather than cheating.

Kudos to whoever's in an open or poly relationship though if that works for you.

I don't know about you guys but I've got my own issues in head that I can barely keep contained. Also adding another person or worrying about my partner and her safety in pursuit of strange would teeter my self esteem I have to new lows. Like someone else said it seems selfish unless the person they get strange from they share and it is established the new person hey we aren't going to have feelings afterwards.....

[SHIREFLIP]

[FUCKINGLOUD]

TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.

[versacekid420]

TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.

jesus fucking christ 😭

[50mm]

My first serious girlfriend was a slut and let me bone her and her friend. It was pretty weird. We did it like 3 times that night and never again. But we weren’t together long after that. We were already going down the tubes but even though I’m the one that got to lay pipe I still felt a weird disconnect. I think I was already over her because she was shitty and fucking her friend just made me realize how I wasn’t happy.

[WastedHippy]

TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.

you really are fucking loud you know that?

[FUCKINGLOUD]

Expand Quote

TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.

[close]

you really are fucking loud you know that?

SORRY HARD OF HEARING MY EARS ARE SHOT AND I AM FUCKING LOUD

[Ms. Tamzarian]

yo Helon, whats up homie

so i've been in and out of a few open relationships before, and i'm no expert on anything social cause im a fuckin runt as far as society goes. but i have some thoughts and i hope they can be a little bit helpful.

hopefully im not repeating others too much. anyhow here it goes.

the open relationship will always fail if you two are not mutually stoked on doing it. that probably seems obvious, but i'll explain a little.

like, it has to excite you two. that you are together and encouraging each other to explore sex / romance with others.

more than excitement, this has got to be something that turns you two on. makes the attraction between each other stronger in a way. like it deepens the bond you have, adds some kinky magic to it. and it has to be something you are super stoked to talk about. and talk about very often! intertwining the sex-life-aspect with the communication-aspect. its like being hyped up bandmates when things are working best. communicating and interacting without missing a beat. its pretty tight and worth the communication that goes into it, when its working.

but i dont mean things should be exciting all the time.

granted, the second it becomes stressful and confusing its a bad sign. someone is hiding something or something is not clicking.

that being said, all good open relationships i've been in have been sustained by working thru confusion and getting back to the stoke part. if things are confusing now, talk it out. its either a sign that its time to catch up and start a new page ... or that its time to move on.

hopefully its just a new page, no turmoil for you and your ducky. but, if it is a time to move on, good luck and swag it up out there.

if its a bad open relationship, its gonna be a shitshow. god speed that does not happen for you.

anyway, peace out 

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

I’ve been in an open relationship for 7ish years and we’ve been married for 3 now. Works for us but it’s a bit less taboo and more accepted in ths gay community. I dont really fuck with Polyamory though. I’ve seen alot of Triads(+) and most dont make it out of the first year or so. Usually ends with two splitting off from one and getting married or being in a LTR. If someone drops a hint at trying to get in on me and my Husbands relationship we both see that as a red flag and wont hook up with them.

[cosmicgypsies]

fuck her mom

[Sila]

I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.

[no habla mango]

TL,DR but i believe OP is looking for a bull on Slap.

[iKobrakai]

I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.

No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.

By the way, how the fuck do, you people, even find multiple people willing to bang you?

[os89]

Expand Quote

I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.

[close]

No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.

Yeaaaa that sounds awful

[50mm]

TL,DR but i believe OP is looking for a bull on Slap.

we need to get 1337 hooked up with op. He’s been looking for some pussy to jump on.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.

[close]

No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.

[close]

Yeaaaa that sounds awful

[LesbianPUNCH]

I feel like if you peel back the layers of an open relationship you generally expose one selfish narcissist and one person caught in the web. One person fucking whoever they want, the other fucking outside of the relationship to even the scales, even against their own desire for monogamy.  My last roommate was in an open relationship. It was a nightmare to witness.

I don’t mean to generalize, but from what I’ve seen and experienced, open relationships only exist because of infidelity, and only last if the involved parties have children together.

So you guys should have kids.

[iKobrakai]

So you guys should have kids.

Most of us shouldn't.

[givecigstosurfgroms]

I give props to those couplea good for them.  I think most chicks arent into it tho.

[HyenaChaser]

I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.

I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.

I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.

[Yushin Okami]

Soft swinging

[sexualhelon]

I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.

I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.

I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.

Yeah, I've heard it work out more for people in that type of situation - being upfront when you're still dating before you get serious. I feel like it's maybe common for people to end up in that situation? When people are dating it's likely they're seeing multiple people but would probably choose the one they liked the most instead of two to try and solidify things?

Seems like if it's working out for people it's either like that or they've been together for 5/10+ years. For the latter, still seems like those people have more issues/emotions with it and they don't leave their relationship open forever.

But also, like others said, you were all happy with the situation and it fulfilled what you both wanted which is the crucial thing.

[50mm]

Expand Quote

I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.

I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.

I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.

[close]

Yeah, I've heard it work out more for people in that type of situation - being upfront when you're still dating before you get serious. I feel like it's maybe common for people to end up in that situation? When people are dating it's likely they're seeing multiple people but would probably choose the one they liked the most instead of two to try and solidify things?

Seems like if it's working out for people it's either like that or they've been together for 5/10+ years. For the latter, still seems like those people have more issues/emotions with it and they don't leave their relationship open forever.

But also, like others said, you were all happy with the situation and it fulfilled what you both wanted which is the crucial thing.

That's the key, nothing serious. It is pretty common among my friends but not for me. Women intimidated me for a while.