SOBRIETY

[Velcro Wallet]

That does sound like a rad idea.

AA never worked for me and I’ve gone heaps… but I have mates that swear by it. Talking about drinking for an hour (with most people showing off their war stories) MAKES me feel like drinking even more.

I found this support group that was must more helpful. We’d talk about or day and things that stressed us out and how we dealt with it. Alcohol and drugs were the reason why we were there but didn’t talk about substance much if that make sense

This was years ago and I tried to find it recently but it had been de-funded and stopped.

I go into detox on Thursday. A bunch of people dropped out so I got a spot very quickly. Stoked.

Hope you pals have a good day. Sober or not.

[Idk]

All we would have to do is find a medium like Zoom or Skype and then see if someone is down to moderate or we could switch weeks where one person kind starts/leads. I find it best when group therapy is just us doing MEPS. How are you Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, Socially/Spiritually. And we’d just go from there til everyone in the group finishes. Cross talk so if someone can relate they can respectfully chime in and it becomes a discussion.

[hmmoookay]

Hey y'all, formerly hmmokay here. I've posted in this thread a few times in the past and have since deactivated here and there, but I wanted to make a new account to post in this thread again after going through a few of the most recent pages.

I just wanted to say to the folks that are on the fence or are having a hard time getting going in sobriety; keep going, keep getting back up, it does get better, and you can do this. I know I've seen this kind of encouragement on here before but I felt compelled to at least repeat it in the hopes that someone who needs to see it, does. I was that person here and elsewhere on the internet idk how many times before it clicked, but I'm very grateful that it did.

I'm coming up on 500 days sober this week (1yr 4month-ish), something that I NEVER, ever could have imagined even a few years ago. Getting half a sober day was a miracle at one point and now, at least for today, alcohol is something I never wish to fuck around with again. For better or worse my only vice was booze, I never fucked around with harder shit, but as many of us know alcohol (because of its legality) can be for some the most lethal thing there is. I truly feel like I am lucky that I got that "second chance" multiple times, because a lot of people, sadly, do not.

I didn't go to AA though I have thought about it more recently just for a sense of community, but one thing I felt very helpful early on and still today is podcasts about recovery. The one I consistently listen to these days is called Recovery Elevator, but even things I didnt expect to help like Bobby Lee's "Bad Friends" with Santino or a randomly recommended SteveO's wild ride on the topic, stuff like that is has been so valuable when I've least expected it. Try and seek out what you think might work for you, podcasts and similar media are what helped me put two feet on the ground when I thought I was ready to throw in the towel once again. Lately, exercise (running, some weights) has been very helpful for keeping my mind straight and keeping focused.

@Velcro Wallet; IDK already said this to you but I just want to boost their sentiment; no need to say sorry for getting shit off your chest, or getting real. One of the best things sobriety has given me is the ability to be honest to others and myself without thinking twice. Sometimes that's just what you've gotta do and really, that is how you make change within and around yourself. Like others have said, you've recognized what you've gotta do and you're already beginning to make changes, just keep it up. You got this!

Not gonna deactivate this time, so I'll keep popping back in. My sobriety gave me my life back and I want the same for others trying to get there.

Stay up Pals, we got this.

____

tldr; coming up on 500 days sober and wanted to share some encouragement to recent posters.

[Velcro Wallet]

Shit. I just saw I have some people who have PM’d (like a man lol) and I haven’t got back to you. Very, very sorry!!!

[Enrico Pallazzo]

Expand Quote

Sitting at 4.5 months-ish right now as I didn’t really have an official start date. Was strictly a social drinker other than the occasional glass of wine or cocktail on a date night, but when it was party time I definitely suffered from CEBS (Constantly Empty Beer Syndrome), and would lose track and end up drinking too much and getting terrible sleep and anxiety the next few days. Just didn’t like who I was when I got to that point.

We welcomed our first baby in April, which has absolutely changed my life. I was thinking about giving it up for a while, but the third trimester and first few months of fatherhood have been the perfect catalyst. I just want to be there for every moment, and be ready at a second’s notice, and don’t want to have those experiences dulled in any way, either through alcohol or a hangover.

Still have plenty of anxiety issues to work on in therapy and a whole bunch of stupid party shit I did to feel guilty about forever, but this new step in my life definitely feels like the right one.

[close]

Congratulations!

I have an 18 months old. At first I stopped getting drunk for the exact same reasons you wrote about, plus, I felt that the newborn was so fragile and I didn't want to do anything stupid after I had had a few drinks.

Now I will have a few drinks when I go out (which doesn't happen often anymore). But: Being hungover and taking care of a toddler doesn't mix for me at all. It's the worst. It gets to be super annoying and stressful. So the only time when I will have more then two drinks now is when I have the following day for myself. This only happens in the rare case, when my wife and son visit her mother for the weekend.
It's been good, but sometimes I do miss being stupid and drinking too much without these immediate consequences.

Appreciate it! Yeah not sure what the future holds for reintroducing the occasional drink, but for now being totally dry just feels like the best move for me and my family. I’ve also gotten a little soft over these past few months so cutting out the ale calories helps as well.

Sending love and support to all the pals posting in the thread, everyone’s sobriety journey looks different and I’m certainly aware that the ability to “turn it off” is a blessing and something I’m grateful for. Not something that is as easy for others, been watching my dad party away his final years, wish him the best but I worry he’s not going to find that off button.

[Natas_Fauxas]

Im doing great rn and still dry. My new sponsor is really cool. Ty yall.

[JoseCansnake0]

Im still stuck in the depressed phase after getting sober. I find no enjoyment in life, mixed with no friends and a non existent life it really sucks.

This is merely a phase, and yes, it is hard to cope with. You have to counteract it with new hobbies/goals/things you never thought you could do or accomplish. THAT in itself will give you the satisfaction of knowing you are no longer a drunk pile, and you took a shot at something you never would have before. I'm not calling you, lightnet, a drunk pile, I'm more so projecting myself into this scenario.

It will take time, but trust me, it is worth it.

Every time I think about drinking, i picture a scenario where somebody, somewhere, will need me in a pinch/emergency. The old me would've been 8 IPA's deep and absolutely useless. The new me is ready at the crack to do whatever needs to be done. Mentally, physically, and lets be honest, more financially ready to be A HUMAN.

[Sleazy]

i'm 17 days into my second dry 30 of the year. i went to costa rica for 12 days and was drinking and doing normal vacation stuff and then i stopped drinking the day before we came back (sat) and was expecting to have a productive week but mon and tues were sluggish and wed i had alcohol withdraws (like clockwork on 3rd-4th day) and got exhausted and took a huge nap. i was so annoyed by friday and already almost a week in so figured i'd do another dry 30. my wife doesn't drink and we've been really enjoying 00 beers. i'm not sure i'll every completely quit drinking but i'm definitely enjoying my time detoxed with high beams on more than i enjoy melting into the couch with a good burbon these days.

[breezy_again]

i'll be at 6 weeks this upcoming tuesday. it's amazing how clear headed i am these days. i love it!
i've also come to the point where i'm realizing things about myself. i had serious issues managing my anger when i was drinking everyday. if anything drinking elevated my don't-give-a-fuck attitude. i seriously owe a few people serious apologies. most notably my exgirlfriend from a year ago. i'm gonna try and cross that bridge later today. she probably won't answer the phone but we'll see.

[hmmoookay]

500 days today. Kinda can't believe it really, but I'm very grateful to be here.

i'll be at 6 weeks this upcoming tuesday. it's amazing how clear headed i am these days. i love it!
i've also come to the point where i'm realizing things about myself. i had serious issues managing my anger when i was drinking everyday. if anything drinking elevated my don't-give-a-fuck attitude. i seriously owe a few people serious apologies. most notably my exgirlfriend from a year ago. i'm gonna try and cross that bridge later today. she probably won't answer the phone but we'll see.

I relate to this a lot. I also think some of it was in my head too, or at least the severity to which I upset someone or thought my actions resulted in someone disliking me. Some relationships have been repaired, others are sadly beyond repair I think (including an ex myself), but it's best I don't dwell on that stuff I suppose. It is what it is and life goes on.

Congrats on the upcoming 6 weeks pal, huge!

[IUTSM]

good for both of you dudes up there. 6 weeks or 500 days is a long fucking time!

[breezy_again]

thank you for the kind words pals, i'm gonna keep on keepin on

[Baglady]

This is a dope thread. 2.5 yrs sober.
Shouts out to everyone brave enough to even admit that things are getting shifty.

[IUTSM]

This is a dope thread. 2.5 yrs sober.
Shouts out to everyone brave enough to even admit that things are getting shifty.

big ups, homie. 2.5 years is ill as fuck.

[Mark Renton]

I have severe mental health issues (depression, anxiety, BP2) and ton of childhood trauma that I was trying to block out with weed and booze then the occasional mix with meds and benzos.

Quitting booze months ago was a nightmare cos the things you’re trying to block out come haunting you like random thunders. Also my social life now is basically non existent outside of skate seshes.

Also quit weed recently and started dreaming again a little bit, so hell awaits, the gnarly nightmares are about to pop up.

I had to try and do it for the very few people that were always there for me and also to detach myself from people and memories that made me start in the first place.
Also for the people that I for sure hurt along the path.

Not the first time trying. We will see.
If there’s anything, I’ve been skating better ever since.
I think the key is always keeping it moving with activities and hobbies. Not just obsessing over skateboarding.

I wish everyone the best.

[breezy_again]

Sobriety is the new high.

[Sleazy]

i'll be at 6 weeks this upcoming tuesday. it's amazing how clear headed i am these days. i love it!
i've also come to the point where i'm realizing things about myself. i had serious issues managing my anger when i was drinking everyday. if anything drinking elevated my don't-give-a-fuck attitude. i seriously owe a few people serious apologies. most notably my exgirlfriend from a year ago. i'm gonna try and cross that bridge later today. she probably won't answer the phone but we'll see.

Sobriety is the new high.

@breezy_again i was telling my wife this today. note i'm only 20 days in on a dry 30 so not trying to over state things as i'm an amateur compared to most in this thread. i had a friend over last night and he was going to do some mushrooms today and i was telling my wife that for me waking up and just being so alert and energetic is my new fix and if i end up going longer stretches it'll be chasing that.

have you tried not drinking coffee for first hour of the day? this is a new one i've been doing after hearing a speaker talk about it at a recent business talk. the idea is that your body creates cortisol when you first wake up to help you get alert and drinking coffee gets in the way of this process (https://www.thorne.com/take-5-daily/article/why-you-should-reconsider-that-morning-cup-of-coffee). I've been doing it for a few weeks and really noticed a difference. I've also found if i'm not drinking i don't need the coffee right away.

[breezy_again]

Expand Quote

i'll be at 6 weeks this upcoming tuesday. it's amazing how clear headed i am these days. i love it!
i've also come to the point where i'm realizing things about myself. i had serious issues managing my anger when i was drinking everyday. if anything drinking elevated my don't-give-a-fuck attitude. i seriously owe a few people serious apologies. most notably my exgirlfriend from a year ago. i'm gonna try and cross that bridge later today. she probably won't answer the phone but we'll see.

[close]

Expand Quote

Sobriety is the new high.

[close]

@breezy_again

have you tried not drinking coffee for first hour of the day? this is a new one i've been doing after hearing a speaker talk about it at a recent business talk. the idea is that your body creates cortisol when you first wake up to help you get alert and drinking coffee gets in the way of this process (https://www.thorne.com/take-5-daily/article/why-you-should-reconsider-that-morning-cup-of-coffee). I've been doing it for a few weeks and really noticed a difference. I've also found if i'm not drinking i don't need the coffee right away.

i haven't tried this. in fact quite the opposite. i've had 3 servings today already. i think i'll give this a try tomorrow and skip my cup before work. by the time i get there i'll have been up for 2 hours or so.
like i said earlier i really feel like i'm cheating at sobriety. i wouldn't be where i am with it if it wasn't for being on probation. i'm kind of thankful for it because i definitely needed a break. it's easy to stop drinking and smoking weed when your freedom depends on it. i kind of feel like a bum compared to some of you.

[breezy_again]

and what i mean by being a bum is i see some of yall having a lot of difficulty with it.
don't give up and never surrender!

[Idk]

27 days sober but it’s been really rough since last Thursday.

[Easy Slider]

27 days sober but it’s been really rough since last Thursday.

Stay strong.

I have discovered Guinness Zero lately, which I enjoy.

 I also copped a bottle of alc free whisky, which is just flavoured water if I understand it correctly. The smell is quite surprisingly similar to a bourbon with rye in the mashbill, taste is watery but they added something to imitate the sting of the alcohol.

Not sure if that stuff is helping me stay away or tempting me to get real whisky, so I will not recommend it.

[Velcro Wallet]

I just got out of detox and it was a really good positive time.

Giving up piss and also coming down to a point that I can switch from methadone to micro dosing suboxone and end up on the weekly, then monthly injections has really got me hyped.

Fuck I hate it when people complain about the food in detox/hospital. It’s free you cxnts. This one dude was saying how he’d love a proper coffee shop coffee. I told him he should be thankful he got a bed in here anyway.

Every second or so nights we have AA or NA speakers come in and share some knowledge. While the NA people were going around our group they asked what we wanted to talk about etc. and I said as long as it’s not them telling us war stories about how much they used and rather give use examples on how to deal with cravings and steps to deal when it gets close to using.

They both went into war story mode. “I used to do this much ____” and not good examples or help at all. You could see his tracks up and down each arm. They gave us nothing helpful.

Maybe I’m being a dickhead but shit wasn’t right and the rest of the group agreed.

Now I feel like a cunt

[Idk]

Strong cravings once your withdrawals are close to finishing can only last 15 minutes. Doesn’t mean they won’t go on the whole day but the human brain can’t extremely focus for more than 15 minutes. Whether it’s a craving or a strong emotion it will plateau then go down. That’s what I’m learning in IOP. So for those super strong 15 minutes where you want to use do something completely different. Get tooth picks and throw them to the ground and pick up every single one before you use. Then ask yourself do I still want to use?

[Coastal Fever]

I’m currently on a solo road trip, first time ever driving in/visiting the US.  There’s been a few moments so far where had I been even the slightest bit hungover.. I would’ve had a full on panic attack.  Not to mention I would’ve made worse decisions, spent more money, and the entire trip would subconsciously be influenced by when and where I can drink.  This is my first sober adult vacation, and I’m so thankful that I can truly enjoy it to the fullest.  The saying “sobriety’s about what you gain, not lose” is really ringing true for me right now.

[EdLawndale]

A little over 2 months with no alcohol here. Been buying zero-proof cocktails (in between waters) when I go to my local tavern, usually some sort of non-alcoholic mule.

Always felt it would be silly paying for non-alcoholic beverages, but it is not so bad. Good that I have an option to feel like I can be in a social setting and still support the establishment as a paying customer.

Other weird small things too, like not worrying about draining every last drop of my drink to get as much of that sweet firewater as possible -- once it gets watered down, I'm over it. Or if I forget to guard my drink and it gets picked up by a waitress, I'm less concerned for some reason (it's like losing a coca cola). All in all, there's less anxiety involved. I'm not getting that liquid courage anymore, but since I'm 38 (and gonna be a pro skater) now, the liquid courage has become pretty unnecessary at this point.

One thing I've noticed is that the bar is a lot emptier these days than when I first went dry and I suspect it is because everything has gotten so expensive (it sure as hell isn't because everyone else stopped drinking too). I think the bar owners have had to tighten their belts by raising prices and cutting back on deals for regulars. For 2 drinks and a meal, I'm dropping like $40 nowadays, whereas it used to cost me almost half that much (granted I'm friends with the staff so they would hook me up).

Proud of you guys and gals, keep it up!

[IUTSM]

A little over 2 months with no alcohol here. Been buying zero-proof cocktails (in between waters) when I go to my local tavern, usually some sort of non-alcoholic mule.

Always felt it would be silly paying for non-alcoholic beverages, but it is not so bad. Good that I have an option to feel like I can be in a social setting and still support the establishment as a paying customer.

Other weird small things too, like not worrying about draining every last drop of my drink to get as much of that sweet firewater as possible -- once it gets watered down, I'm over it. Or if I forget to guard my drink and it gets picked up by a waitress, I'm less concerned for some reason (it's like losing a coca cola). All in all, there's less anxiety involved. I'm not getting that liquid courage anymore, but since I'm 38 (and gonna be a pro skater) now, the liquid courage has become pretty unnecessary at this point.

One thing I've noticed is that the bar is a lot emptier these days than when I first went dry and I suspect it is because everything has gotten so expensive (it sure as hell isn't because everyone else stopped drinking too). I think the bar owners have had to tighten their belts by raising prices and cutting back on deals for regulars. For 2 drinks and a meal, I'm dropping like $40 nowadays, whereas it used to cost me almost half that much (granted I'm friends with the staff so they would hook me up).

Proud of you guys and gals, keep it up!

good for you, edmund!

@Coastal Fever

where are you traveling?

[JoseCansnake0]

A little over 2 months with no alcohol here. Been buying zero-proof cocktails (in between waters) when I go to my local tavern, usually some sort of non-alcoholic mule.

Always felt it would be silly paying for non-alcoholic beverages, but it is not so bad. Good that I have an option to feel like I can be in a social setting and still support the establishment as a paying customer.

Other weird small things too, like not worrying about draining every last drop of my drink to get as much of that sweet firewater as possible -- once it gets watered down, I'm over it. Or if I forget to guard my drink and it gets picked up by a waitress, I'm less concerned for some reason (it's like losing a coca cola). All in all, there's less anxiety involved. I'm not getting that liquid courage anymore, but since I'm 38 (and gonna be a pro skater) now, the liquid courage has become pretty unnecessary at this point.

One thing I've noticed is that the bar is a lot emptier these days than when I first went dry and I suspect it is because everything has gotten so expensive (it sure as hell isn't because everyone else stopped drinking too). I think the bar owners have had to tighten their belts by raising prices and cutting back on deals for regulars. For 2 drinks and a meal, I'm dropping like $40 nowadays, whereas it used to cost me almost half that much (granted I'm friends with the staff so they would hook me up).

Proud of you guys and gals, keep it up!

https://stagrestis.com/products/phony-negroni?variant=42965996503293

These are great! Had one out with my wife on our 4 year anniversary.

Not trying to put the cart before the horse, but I'll be 2 years sober on August 21st. It has changed my life for the better in every way imaginable. To those on the path, keep fighting, it's worth it.

[Steely Daniel]

A friend of mine moved back from the east coast and is going through detox right now. I'm very proud of him. Can't wait to see him in a couple of months and have a chill skate session. I just don't want to be an enabler since I'm still pounding back liquor daily. Every time I consider quitting I just get so anxious an hour before the liquor store closes and have to pick something up. Things are not going well in my life but I'm putting all my energy into skateboarding to distract myself so that's something at least.

[igrindtwinkies]

@EdLawndale The part about bars being emptier post-covid is something I've read from a lot of bar staff on Reddit about.  Times are changing and it's hard to point out just one thing.  I quit 21 months ago, have bumped into a lot of acquaintances who have also quit in the past few years.  On Saturday, I went skating with a buddy who used to bartend at the bars I would frequent.  He quit and said a huge chunk of the staff quit as well.  I know a decent chunk of early 20's kids through skating and NEVER hear them talk about drinking, rarely see pictures on social media.

A friend of mine moved back from the east coast and is going through detox right now. I'm very proud of him. Can't wait to see him in a couple of months and have a chill skate session. I just don't want to be an enabler since I'm still pounding back liquor daily. Every time I consider quitting I just get so anxious an hour before the liquor store closes and have to pick something up. Things are not going well in my life but I'm putting all my energy into skateboarding to distract myself so that's something at least.

@Steely Daniel How's your buddy detoxing?  Is he in a facility or some shit?  I"m only asking cause they don't teach you this shit in school and will always take an opportunity to talk about it.  I was lucky enough to get medically detoxed my final time, took a good 5 days to get me off the shit.  This is a quick guide for tapering off booze.  For the record, WITHDRAWAL IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, IF YOU'RE HEARING SHIT/HALLUCINATING DRINK SOME BOOZE OR GO TO A HOSPITAL DON'T TRY TO TOUGH IT OUT.    https://hams.cc/taper/

And Steely I can definitely relate.  When I used to drink the thought of going 3 days without it was terrifying.  It took quite a while to rewire my brain.  I used to wake up still a bit drunk, and the only think I could think about was immediately getting to the store to get more beer.  Waiting again till that night to get drunk again was torture, so usually I'd just start day drinking.  It took me a few weeks of not drinking, until it wasn't constantly on my mind.  After about 6 months, the thoughts got a lot less intrusive.  Had a ton of anxiety the first few months, skating/working out helped a bit, but I kinda just had to sit there with it.

I"m not going to preach at you because I know this shit's not easy.  The alcohol did a number on my mental health.  It's hard to not have anxiety and depression when you're constantly liquored up.  I didn't exactly quit on a winning streak either, but it was much easier for me to fix the problems in my life when I wasn't giving 90 percent of my physical and mental energy to alcohol. It's good to hear you're skating though, if it weren't for shit I'm passionate about I would have just kept drinking or pulled the plug.  Best of luck to you man.

[Coastal Fever]

@Steely Daniel I can’t offer anything better than what’s been already said, but the fact you keep checking in here shows you’ve got the will.  Take care of yourself and hopefully it’ll get easier!

@EdLawndale good on you for still supporting the homies.  Hopefully bars serving NAs and people congregating there for them becomes more commonplace in the future.

@IusedToSkateMore Just a quick rip through ME, NH and VT on my way to Ontario.  Pretty wild seeing mickeys for sale at gas station counters haha.  That and walking through downtown/tourist areas really makes you realize how much booze is being pushed on people.  But it’s been fun so far, left the board at home but checked out Mocean in Portland and might check out Burlington shops tmrw.