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As much as I said about committing to tricks and focusing on rolling away with as few tries, I think that mindset really hurt my sessions today.
I think it's because one can't really improvise that mindset, just dictating how your day should be going in advance isn't going to work because by definition skateboarding is something that mercilessly bombards you with different scenarii every single moment in real time (happening on an object moving through irregular space and all), so trying to foresee exactly how your day is going to go is only more mental pollution and a distraction if anything. At least I stopped doing this a while ago and now only skate on days where my physical condition feels right, because that's when I know I'll be at my sharpest to handle all the ruckus and then it's pretty much a guaranteed good session with no expectations. Now skating is so fun I'll occasionally do it on the days I feel wrecked too (e.g.. after binge skating three days in a row on average), but then I'll most likely take it easy and stick to less brutal and/or more consistent maneuvers. Recovering time is important, your body needs it (most skaters underestimate how much they put theirs through absolute shit) and there is such a thing as overtraining in any physical activity, if you're not familiar with the term I'd advise you look it up as grasping the concept basically made me understand why I'd always have on and off days as a kid. In general whenever you're having a bad session, it's important to understand why as to just eliminate the mistakes eventually, and stop clogging your head with whatever considerations might distract from the present moment of purely reading the terrain with your board.
I also get the pleasure of working on tricks super hard, for maybe over my decade of skating I skated anywhere from 3 to 10 hours literally everyday, sheltering myself under whatever shitty place had some kind of roof in case of shit weather just to always be working on new stuff and not losing tricks, but then I grew out of that phase when I realized it was actually counter-productive although fun in its own ways and I was unnecessarily micromanaging things (because I had less self-confidence; in reality if you really don't want your tricks to go away then they won't since every motion you neglect you can always relearn, this anxiety is another source of potential mental pollution in one's skating so such worries are better off jettisoned). So I'm a bit torn on talking shit on obsessively working on technique because that's what I did for a long time and also I guess what enabled me to build a repertoire of tricks and maneuvers big enough for me to have fun with even on days where challenging shit won't work. It may be important to remember that although fundamental, technique in skateboarding is a means but an end.
The frustration of having a bad session stems from me only having my weekends to skate for a combines 6-8 hours, so I feel immense pressure to perform and not lose my tricks on those 2 days. But I'm like that in my daily life too, I'm disciplined to a fault and can't stand to sit around doing nothing, much to my own detriment. I'm uber intense, like when I mean we have to leave the house at 7pm to meet a dinner reservation, I get pissed with my wife if we leave late and have to pay a late fee on the Uber. The park I usually session has reopened after lockdown so I'm planning on going there 1-2 times in the week to keep sharp and limber.
Being older and skateboarding: it gives you the extremes of emotions and pulls you in both directions. You appreciate it more, but the scarcity of time really adds so much pressure on me. I already trying to do 5 days in a row (Wed - Sun), I have a huge scarcity problem but I'll eventually find a happy medium, maybe 1-2 times during the week, go hard on the weekends.
I love skating ledges and rails but I'm going to commit to working on getting a proper looking Ollie. I've been rocketing them my entire life and seeing the other threads about old guys working on them made me think I should really practice what I preach.
Spending hours working on a trick has put me in a dark place mentally which feel so stupid and trivial. I think back on all the negative things my mom said, discouraging me from skateboarding when I was 14, telling me I'm too uncoordinated to do it well. Those same thoughts get to me even as a 34-year old adult, despite us talking over it too. Got to remind myself that I'm not 14 and I'm doing this for fun.
That said, the feeling of landing a new trick still has that same rush even 20 years later. I like the phrase mental pollution, got to keep those bad jujus out of your head and enjoy the session.