Bad new movies

[winecrab]

Smile sucked. Hellraiser was even worse.

[Blind Fisherman]

Got home late last night and decided to give Oculus a chance. Absolute dogshit of a movie. The cinematography was absolutely awful and the acting, if you want to call it that, was even worse. 

[Made In China]

I just saw the new Hellraiser and wasn't a fan of it, which sucks because I love the og one and was really looking forward to this. The plot was way too convoluted and none of the characters were particularly interesting. There are a handful of cool scenes that pay homage to the og one and it's first sequel. 

[apport]

the new hellraiser is trash, i should have known better than to get my hopes up for a new hellraiser movie but i really liked that director’s last movie the night house

[Mean salto]

Hellraiser in general is kind of a weird franchise. I first saw them when I was about seven and obviously didn't get it I just thought oooh scary guts man in the roof. Then way way later I appreciated all the work and just thought the movie was passable. So I don't get how a new one is supposed to be interesting yeah it's thousands of hours of work but something about cg just isn't interesting. And I'm sure heaps of it was practical but the whole movie was already meh dumb dark CGI who cares.

[Made In China]

the new hellraiser is trash, i should have known better than to get my hopes up for a new hellraiser movie but i really liked that director’s last movie the night house

Dude yeah I loved The Night House, that movie was done so well and actually scary. Knowing the same guy made the new Hellraiser got me stoked on it but that just eventually made it even more disappointing.

[augustmoon]

Hellraiser in general is kind of a weird franchise. I first saw them when I was about seven and obviously didn't get it I just thought oooh scary guts man in the roof. Then way way later I appreciated all the work and just thought the movie was passable. So I don't get how a new one is supposed to be interesting yeah it's thousands of hours of work but something about cg just isn't interesting. And I'm sure heaps of it was practical but the whole movie was already meh dumb dark CGI who cares.

The first two are the only ones worth a shit. 

[Mean salto]

Meander
Thought it would be like those cube movies, dumb but with some interesting little set pieces with cool effects. Half an hour in had to bail on it it's just one person in a boring dark tube getting past very uninteresting things. Guess I should of known from the title.

[Atiba Applebum]

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the new hellraiser is trash, i should have known better than to get my hopes up for a new hellraiser movie but i really liked that director’s last movie the night house

[close]

Dude yeah I loved The Night House, that movie was done so well and actually scary. Knowing the same guy made the new Hellraiser got me stoked on it but that just eventually made it even more disappointing.

I think it’s funny that the lead was one of Bobby Hill’s daughters, which is funny if you’ve ever watched Better Things.   

Also, that hairstyle wore her, she could not control it

[jamersonbass]

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the new hellraiser is trash, i should have known better than to get my hopes up for a new hellraiser movie but i really liked that director’s last movie the night house

[close]

Dude yeah I loved The Night House, that movie was done so well and actually scary. Knowing the same guy made the new Hellraiser got me stoked on it but that just eventually made it even more disappointing.

Here to claim fandom for the Night House as well.  If you liked it, check out Resurrection.  Different director, but Rebecca Hall is quickly becoming one of my new favorite actress' with the these two being her most recent.

[augustmoon]

Not a movie, and not that new anymore I guess, but I just rewatched season 2 of True Detective and wow what an incoherent pile of horseshit.  Terrible acting.  Terrible directing.  Terrible writing.  How did this shit even get made and released?

[winecrab]

Halloween ends and Black Adam both sucked.

[Atiba Applebum]

Halloween ends and Black Adam both sucked.

The Rock only accidentally makes good movies or isn’t a creative force in it (F&F movies).  I’m a little shocked he’s still coasting on a wave of popularity.   Even great action stars didn’t have a run that long, but I guess he’s like Adam Sandler in that way…

[Mean salto]

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Halloween ends and Black Adam both sucked.

[close]

The Rock only accidentally makes good movies or isn’t a creative force in it (F&F movies).  I’m a little shocked he’s still coasting on a wave of popularity.   Even great action stars didn’t have a run that long, but I guess he’s like Adam Sandler in that way…

There's gotta be a very specific type of person who will like black Adam. Ive disliked all the DC movies and absolutely can't stand the rock so I know it's not gonna be for me. For those who will like it good luck I guess

[Atiba Applebum]

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Halloween ends and Black Adam both sucked.

[close]

The Rock only accidentally makes good movies or isn’t a creative force in it (F&F movies).  I’m a little shocked he’s still coasting on a wave of popularity.   Even great action stars didn’t have a run that long, but I guess he’s like Adam Sandler in that way…

[close]

There's gotta be a very specific type of person who will like black Adam. Ive disliked all the DC movies and absolutely can't stand the rock so I know it's not gonna be for me. For those who will like it good luck I guess

First shoe help and now bashing the rock.  Banner day for Mean Salto in my books!

[apport]

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Hellraiser in general is kind of a weird franchise. I first saw them when I was about seven and obviously didn't get it I just thought oooh scary guts man in the roof. Then way way later I appreciated all the work and just thought the movie was passable. So I don't get how a new one is supposed to be interesting yeah it's thousands of hours of work but something about cg just isn't interesting. And I'm sure heaps of it was practical but the whole movie was already meh dumb dark CGI who cares.

[close]

The first two are the only ones worth a shit.

i’ll ride for 3 too, while it’s not actually good like 1 and 2, is enjoyable in a fun/dumb way. i’ll even apply that to 4 as well, to a lesser extent.
i rewatched the new one because my wife wanted to see it and i have to say it’s not so bad the second time around. there’s a lot i didn’t like but it’s absolutely miles ahead of most of the other sequels, not that that is saying a lot. i’m a sucker for the hellraiser lore and i thought that aspect was handled well.

halloween ends was so stupid and weird that i actually kind of liked it. a really nonsensical ending to DGG’s halloween trilogy. makes me want to rewatch halloween kills, which i thought was terrible.

[Mean salto]

13 minutes on Netflix
Think it's just a troll them advertising it as a disaster movie. Like see it's not false advertising this movie is a disaster

[Mean salto]

Ambulance (2022)
I've heard den of thieves being referred to as "shitty heat". Ambulance would be shitty den of thieves. It's so corny tho you'd think it has to be self aware. Still gotta say I don't hate it, it's kind of fun in a so bad it's good kind of way.

[Atiba Applebum]

Ambulance (2022)
I've heard den of thieves being referred to as "shitty heat". Ambulance would be shitty den of thieves. It's so corny tho you'd think it has to be self aware. Still gotta say I don't hate it, it's kind of fun in a so bad it's good kind of way.

How’d you like the flashbacks to their childhood that looked like they took place in the 1950s instead of the 90s

[Mean salto]

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Ambulance (2022)
I've heard den of thieves being referred to as "shitty heat". Ambulance would be shitty den of thieves. It's so corny tho you'd think it has to be self aware. Still gotta say I don't hate it, it's kind of fun in a so bad it's good kind of way.

[close]

How’d you like the flashbacks to their childhood that looked like they took place in the 1950s instead of the 90s

Least of the movies problems. One of those you'd really hope cops and paramedics aren't like that in real life movies

[brycickle]

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Ambulance (2022)
I've heard den of thieves being referred to as "shitty heat". Ambulance would be shitty den of thieves. It's so corny tho you'd think it has to be self aware. Still gotta say I don't hate it, it's kind of fun in a so bad it's good kind of way.

[close]

How’d you like the flashbacks to their childhood that looked like they took place in the 1950s instead of the 90s

[close]

Least of the movies problems. One of those you'd really hope cops and paramedics aren't like that in real life movies

Trust me. Only one movie and one tv show have ever come anywhere close to representing what being a paramedic is like: Bringing Out The Dead, and Sirens.

[Mean salto]

Skateshop (2021)
Almost feel bad bringing this up but kinda want people to watch it too. Anyone familiar with trailer boys (Sam and Nate from whitest kids) it's almost samdering but not, rlm fans almost a black tank top but totally not either.
Most stock storyline ever which would be fine/probably actually good but there's no comedy or at least no good comedy.
Everything revolves around an old guys skate shop (who I'm suspecting probably wrote it) and classic heartless developers want to evict him and it's up to the wacky skaters to save the day.
I feel mean laughing but it's got a lot of classic movie making mistakes that are kinda funny but it's no the room or anything.

If the creators or anyone involved lurks on here tell some stories 

[Blind Fisherman]

Watched Godzilla (2019) last night and the only redeeming factor was the fact that I've always wanted to see a modern representation of Godzilla v King Ghidorah. Such a dogshit movie filled with nothing. At least the final fight was decent enough.

[Mean salto]

Amsterdam
Not awful, watchable but wasn't that great. Acting was good story was fine but for a kind of detectivey noiry sort of thing it didn't have much twisty turny going on.
Overall the edit just felt really flat especially for what was going on. Also a little long and felt like every 5-10 minutes they had to make it very clear a new very famous actor was now in the movie

[Mean salto]

Everything Everywhere All at Once
Don't know how anybody thought this was good in any way. Managed to make it about halfway thru but had to bail (Prob finish it at some point tho). It just felt like a very annoying music video that never ends

[Dark Knight]

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Hellraiser in general is kind of a weird franchise. I first saw them when I was about seven and obviously didn't get it I just thought oooh scary guts man in the roof. Then way way later I appreciated all the work and just thought the movie was passable. So I don't get how a new one is supposed to be interesting yeah it's thousands of hours of work but something about cg just isn't interesting. And I'm sure heaps of it was practical but the whole movie was already meh dumb dark CGI who cares.

[close]

The first two are the only ones worth a shit.

For real

Which one had the CD DJ cenobite?


The new one sucked, imo.  Insufferable protagonist.  I will admit that the degloving shit had me wincing.  I thought seeing the different configurations was cool, but that’s about it.  Doug Bradley is my mfing Pinhead