You ever been assessed for adhd?
Since I was like 16 I been prescribed a fair list of ssri meds and couple others like trycyclics and snri types. Nothing helped and they all had their own unique way of making me more miserable or sick.
Got diagnosed with adhd and medicated for it, and in a week it pretty much straightened out every problem I'd had, and I feel like the person I want to be, or I'm at least in a better mental state to build myself up to being the person I want to be.
I know a lot of people are skeptical about the diagnosis itself and more so the medication, but you wouldn't give anti depressants to someone who's not depressed, if you have it the meds work, so an assessment isn't a bad idea if you can see a specialist and get it subsidised or covered, and even if you can't and it's out of pocket it's still worthwhile in my opinion, but only if it's a specialist for adhd. Anyone else is likely to not take it seriously enough at best and be downright dismissive at worst.
It turned my life around, and made my skate sessions a lot more productive and focused. And I no longer require half a litre of redbull to have the energy and motivation to skate.