fred gall. dirts win would be his campaign moto
his vp would be heineken brewery
secretary of state would be jake johnson
treasurer would daewon
ag would be rocco or jeremy fox(or someone similar in cutthroat-ness)
house speaker would be rodney
fauci's job would go to frank gerwer
court jester would be kanye or elon musk
*edit
court jesterS would be kanye, elon musk AND weckingball. the three stooges lives again.