Heavy allegations against KA

[Skate?]

There’s a difference between yelling/arguing/fighting and emotional abuse. I can’t believe this even has to be mentioned.

Those examples you just mentioned can cause emotional abuse.

[skatingisntspecialstupid]

Anyone comparing his behavior to badmouthing on the internet is reaching for straws. These things are not the same and there's no intimidation factor. He picked her up to throw her out the door and only stopped when he got caught. That's more than physical enough.

And once you treat someone like that, they have every right to talk to others about it. Actions have consequences so too bad for the poor pitiful abuser. Shes not obligated to keep this hidden at all and people who look up to this guy should know who he really is.

[Skate?]

Anyone comparing his behavior to badmouthing on the internet is reaching for straws. These things are not the same and there's no intimidation factor. He picked her up to throw her out the door and only stopped when he got caught. That's more than physical enough.

And once you treat someone like that, they have every right to talk to others about it. Actions have consequences so too bad for the poor pitiful abuser. Shes not obligated to keep this hidden at all and people who look up to this guy should know who he really is.

Physical abuse carries with itself emotional abuse. However I am talking about just emotional abuse. Being bullied on the internet does cause emotional abuse. SLAP does have a tendency to MOB unpopular opinion and upset someone either asking questions or just having an opinion. Lack of respect honestly. But either way it can cause emotional abuse.

[augustmoon]

i honestly feel like this is dirty laundry that should be kept between the two of them.  being in a bad relationship does not equate to being beaten or being raped.  not saying Kenny was right, but these are cherry picked incidents over the course of a several year relationship and we're only getting one person's side of the story.  i can see this current movement devolving into crucifying everyone who has been an asshole to someone, and I think that is a big mistake.

I know i'll get flamed for this opinion, so fwiw I experienced pretty significant physical and emotional abuse growing up myself, to the point where I'm treated for complex post traumatic stress disorder.  I fully understand the scope of emotional abuse and its deep, long term effects.  I still feel like this public route is the wrong way to go about it. 

[LordManHammer]

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I mean he sounds like a dick, but am I an asshole for not giving a shit about this?

[close]

So we’re just going to cancel KA for losing his cool with words versus violence or sexual assault?!

Yeah emotional abuse is not cool but WE ALL HAVE DONE IT  AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER, if you doubt me then your a liar and fat mouth! 

[close]

What the fuck??? I absolutely have never once treated a significant other like that. Never even a friend and sure I’ve been mad at fiends before but I’ve never been treated that way by anyone and never treated anyone that way

Liar and a fat mouth...well I am fat...

[close]

But I have seen you on here bad mouthing someone for having a different opinion then you. And for all we know you could of hurt that person's feeling's. It sounds like a emotional abuse to me. Also, Skate?

All I am saying and not trying to excuse KA behavior is that emotional abuse happens on here as well regardless of whether others WANT TO ADMIT IT or not.   I am in no way self righteous I'm just calling the kettle black and some of you guys don't want to admit it.

[skatingisntspecialstupid]

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Anyone comparing his behavior to badmouthing on the internet is reaching for straws. These things are not the same and there's no intimidation factor. He picked her up to throw her out the door and only stopped when he got caught. That's more than physical enough.

And once you treat someone like that, they have every right to talk to others about it. Actions have consequences so too bad for the poor pitiful abuser. Shes not obligated to keep this hidden at all and people who look up to this guy should know who he really is.

[close]

Physical abuse carries with itself emotional abuse. However I am talking about just emotional abuse. Being bullied on the internet does cause emotional abuse. SLAP does have a tendency to MOB unpopular opinion and upset someone either asking questions or just having an opinion. Lack of respect honestly. But either way it can cause emotional abuse.

So you think getting kooked on a forum full of anonymous people is comparable to what this woman went through?

[HotnSpicyMcChicken]

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Should've been open about some of the verbal abuse he laid on his girlfriend, and just being a shit boyfriend in general.

[close]

If all of what you've just read equates to him just kind of being a shitty boyfriend in your mind, you're telling on yourself.

[close]

Can you point to where I said "kind of" or even suggested it?

You didn't explicitly say "kind of", but that's exactly the connotation you present when suggesting that KA doesn't deserve to be aired out for any of this.

Anyone comparing his behavior to badmouthing on the internet is reaching for straws. These things are not the same and there's no intimidation factor. He picked her up to throw her out the door and only stopped when he got caught. That's more than physical enough.

And once you treat someone like that, they have every right to talk to others about it. Actions have consequences so too bad for the poor pitiful abuser. Shes not obligated to keep this hidden at all and people who look up to this guy should know who he really is.

^^^ This is all that needs to be said. People coming in here talking about "it was just a shitty relationship" are telling on themselves by admitting they don't think the psycho shit KA did is really all that bad.

[DISTANT RUMOURS]

Dude, whatever.

Still there are ‘levels’ to anything.

Pinching someone, and kicking the shit out of someone are both ‘physical abuse’ yet nowhere near as painful...


In Belgium we have a saying:

‘Street angel, house demon’ I guess that exactly describes Kenny Anderson.

Anyone saying emotional abuse isn’t as bad as physical abuse, you’re ignorant as hell... and it even leads to more deaths than physical abuse > suicides.

Peace.

[fang]

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Geez. I'm so sorry she had to go through that shit for that long. He sounds like a genuinely terrible person.

I guess some of y'all going to swoop on some discount decks.

Let's see how long it takes for an official reply.

[close]

Smyth is taking this week to type it up.

"A commotion"

[stephop]

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Emotional abuse can and often is far more damaging than physical abuse.   

[close]

This. Abuse is abuse. From what she describes, his patterned behavior displays EVERY classic trait of an emotional abuser. KA 's abuse is pathological and manipulative. It's terrifying how perfect of a mask activism can be for abusers to hide behind while they conduct themselves like monsters in their private lives. I love this man's skating, but he's done.

[close]

boy, i couldn’t disagree more. this would never be as bad as if he gave her black eyes and split lips

you could certainly definitely come back from this

you can't come back from a black eye and a fat lip? We've all taken a bad slam or maybe caught a beat down. You'd rather have friends and family treat you like shit or something like that.. I'm not so sure about that.

[veritas]

KA is clearly the possessive psycho here for reading her diary, at 40 something years old, what did he expect to see. Cant wait for the spin from CNN (Craig News network)

[Lenny the Fatface]

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Should've been open about some of the verbal abuse he laid on his girlfriend, and just being a shit boyfriend in general.

[close]

If all of what you've just read equates to him just kind of being a shitty boyfriend in your mind, you're telling on yourself.

[close]

Can you point to where I said "kind of" or even suggested it?

[close]

You didn't explicitly say "kind of", but that's exactly the connotation you present when suggesting that KA doesn't deserve to be aired out for any of this.

Thats a stretch my dude. I'm 50/50 about her post because he already made a genuine apology to her and she seemed inspired to share because she found his post hypocritical. Don't lump me into your self-righteous bullshit like I condone abuse.

[SHARPSHOOTER]

tbh sounds like an asshole thing to say, but little psycho arguments in a multi year relationship is to be expected. If the man/woman spazzes like a fucking kid every time an argument happens , that’s a sign right there to bounce because they’re not mature whatsoever.

The ear yelling thing is fucked but calling someone out for calling you a bitch in an relationship argument is stupid.

Idk.... it’s all kind shitty, dudes obviously an insecure asshole and only SLAP worships him

[Allen.]

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There’s a difference between yelling/arguing/fighting and emotional abuse. I can’t believe this even has to be mentioned.

[close]

Those examples you just mentioned can cause emotional abuse.

I understand that, but that was not what I meant. What I meant was a typical argument or fight between partners =/= emotional abuse. Also, skate?

[mattchew]

Can’t believe people on here are trying to equate posting on a skateboard forum with being verbally and emotionally terrorized over the course of years by their partner. Dude screamed misogynistic slurs at her on multiple occasions, smashed a mirror, picked her up (physical abuse), went through her fucking diary...insane shit.

Are there people that post on here that are mean spirited and shitty to other posters? Absolutely. The difference is that you can just smash that ignore button and cease engaging or just stop coming here all together—a world of difference. Get a fucking grip.

Kenny was abusive, straight up. He needs help and I hope he gets it. Therapy is fuckin great.

[fang]

i honestly feel like this is dirty laundry that should be kept between the two of them.  being in a bad relationship does not equate to being beaten or being raped.  not saying Kenny was right, but these are cherry picked incidents over the course of a several year relationship and we're only getting one person's side of the story.  i can see this current movement devolving into crucifying everyone who has been an asshole to someone, and I think that is a big mistake.

I know i'll get flamed for this opinion, so fwiw I experienced pretty significant physical and emotional abuse growing up myself, to the point where I'm treated for complex post traumatic stress disorder.  I fully understand the scope of emotional abuse and its deep, long term effects.  I still feel like this public route is the wrong way to go about it.

Agree and p.s. what is happening in your profile picture

[Sick_McCrank_]

Seems he’s an asshole at least in this context no doubt. Not to downplay it all at but this is at least somewhat common in lots of relationships where one person has big insecurities and anger issues. Respect to her for going public, but not sure it’s the right thing to do tbh...

I guess me and my ex were both abusing each other emotionally then. Good neither me or her are famous.

I remember one time we had an argument and I told her to leave my apartment. Of course she refused to. What could I do? Touch her and push her out the door? Sure I did not because that would make me the one in the wrong. I felt pretty powerless. She slept on the couch.

[augustmoon]

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i honestly feel like this is dirty laundry that should be kept between the two of them.  being in a bad relationship does not equate to being beaten or being raped.  not saying Kenny was right, but these are cherry picked incidents over the course of a several year relationship and we're only getting one person's side of the story.  i can see this current movement devolving into crucifying everyone who has been an asshole to someone, and I think that is a big mistake.

I know i'll get flamed for this opinion, so fwiw I experienced pretty significant physical and emotional abuse growing up myself, to the point where I'm treated for complex post traumatic stress disorder.  I fully understand the scope of emotional abuse and its deep, long term effects.  I still feel like this public route is the wrong way to go about it.

[close]

Agree and p.s. what is happening in your profile picture

profile pic is a scene from the movie "Possession", ironically a horror film largely about emotional abuse surrounding divorce



don't want to derail the thread, so if you want to talk about the film, lets take it to the horror thread in "whatever"

[mynameisnotjeff]

This is wild. It sucks to hear stuff like this but there is a difference between arguing and abuse. There is also a cycle to abuse and KA definitely abused her emotionally.

Idk.... it’s all kind shitty, dudes obviously an insecure asshole and only SLAP worships him

I’d like to follow up with this and add that skateboarding takes people in young and feeds their egos. Just because you travel the world doesn’t make you a better or more mature person. It makes me want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he possibly doesn’t know how to argue or discuss with people and resources to this childish behavior. But, he definitely needs therapy on his own and figure his shit out.

[HotnSpicyMcChicken]

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Should've been open about some of the verbal abuse he laid on his girlfriend, and just being a shit boyfriend in general.

[close]

If all of what you've just read equates to him just kind of being a shitty boyfriend in your mind, you're telling on yourself.

[close]

Can you point to where I said "kind of" or even suggested it?

[close]

You didn't explicitly say "kind of", but that's exactly the connotation you present when suggesting that KA doesn't deserve to be aired out for any of this.

[close]

Thats a stretch my dude. I'm 50/50 about her post because he already made a genuine apology to her and she seemed inspired to share because she found his post hypocritical. Don't lump me into your self-righteous bullshit like I condone abuse.

Go back and re-read what she said. He apologized to her by decentralizing her experience, claiming his abuse was a part of his own healing process, a gaslighting technique used to posit the aggressor as the victim in retrospect. Clearly it was a self-serving apology. By claiming you don't think he deserves to be aired out for psychotically screaming in her ears while limiting her ability to escape, reading through her diary and later using the contents of the diary as justification for berating her about past romantic experiences, and all the other shit being described, you are endorsing that behavior. Nothing self-righteous about what I'm saying, I'm simply advocating for men who emotionally abuse their partners to be taken to task for it, considering the sea of other men willing to downplay this abuse as something not worth mentioning, such as yourself. If you had a daughter and she started dating someone who had done everything Kenny did to his last girlfriend, would you tell that last girlfriend to shut up about it because he apologized to her about it? Doubtful.

[Rabbiesbabies]

Sucks to hear he’s such a shitty partner. I can separate the Person from the talent, meaning I still absolutely love his skating and can say he’s a fucking asshole too. Bowie and jimmy page used to swap 14 year olds groupies, Prince basically held Carmen Electra captive in his house while they dated and there are so many other examples of abuse by really talented people. I’m still gonna listen to their  music, just like I’m still gonna watch his skating, even if his career was dwindling 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Kenny used to be married no? I’m sure he was an abuser then too. Maybe when you have someone who is of a certain age, shit that women used to have to put up with doesn’t fly anymore with the young ones.

[ziggy]

I must be a trash human who has constantly been surrounded by trash humans

if ‘he/she says mean stuff sometimes’ was truly a bridge too far in relationships, i don’t know how anybody makes it

do you guys put each other in time out when things get heated?

[augustmoon]

I must be a trash human who has constantly been surrounded by trash humans

if ‘he/she says mean stuff sometimes’ was truly a bridge too far in relationships, i don’t know how anybody makes it

do you guys put each other in time out when things get heated?

seriously.  usually the most self-righteous voices are the ones with the most actual skeletons in their closet. 

[C.J. Gap]

6 years ago i was dating a girl in tampa. one of the nights of tampa am we were at our hotel about to go out to ybor for one of the after parties and we see kenny in the hallway. she knew kenny prior and i’ve met him a handful of times in passing. i had to stop by my friends room on the other side of the hotel but they stayed back to catch up. while i was gone he grabbed her, threw her against the wall and tried to make out with her. she’s a really small girl but knew how to fight. she got out of it and couldn’t tell me until the weekend was over. she was the type of person who didn’t let things get to her easily but i could tell she was pretty distraught the whole time over it.

[Frank]

man, fuck that. this all sounds like pattern behavior. way beyond just incidental or having a volatile phase in the relationship. i feel like it's legit for her to air it out since k.a. was acting like he has no abusive past.

i hope this woman finds some closure through this, and that k.a. acknowledges his abusive past and can do therapy to deal with his issues. not for us but for whoever his partner is/will be and himself.

[BroBruhBra]

IF this is all true it appears that there's a seriously bizarre pattern of abusive behavior over at Craig. Kind of seeing them more and more as the "popular" click. Has anyone who left exhibited any of this behavior (fighting, domestic abuse, asshole antics, etc)?

IF this is all true seriously fuck this crew.

[mattchew]

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I must be a trash human who has constantly been surrounded by trash humans

if ‘he/she says mean stuff sometimes’ was truly a bridge too far in relationships, i don’t know how anybody makes it

do you guys put each other in time out when things get heated?

[close]

seriously.  usually the most self-righteous voices are the ones with the most actual skeletons in their closet.

What about consistently verbally abusing ones partner over the course of years, refusing therapy, violating her privacy, and making her feel physically unsafe constitutes as “saying mean stuff sometimes”?

[k-nutz]

I can understand why people want to defend Kenny. He's a talented skater, but he's a person first. Reading that post made me feel sick. Reminded me of my childhood and hearing my parents argue. God it was awful. If Kenny is honest about this and ACTUALLY gets help, he'll be ok. If he claims this is all bullshit and lies, well he's pretty much just retired very early.

If it is all bullshit and lies, how should he respond?

[Frank]

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I must be a trash human who has constantly been surrounded by trash humans

if ‘he/she says mean stuff sometimes’ was truly a bridge too far in relationships, i don’t know how anybody makes it

do you guys put each other in time out when things get heated?

[close]

seriously.  usually the most self-righteous voices are the ones with the most actual skeletons in their closet.

there is a difference though between relationships that thrive on volatility and conflict and one where one partner is the aggressive one and the other becomes the subdued or submissive one without agency to break out of that and when acting out of fear of repurcussions becomes standard protocol to psychologically survive.

[michael scarn]

Was Ben Raemers her ex? She said her ex committed suicide.

Seriously dude....