To The Slap Boarders who threatened to rape my son

[ZachMoldof]

For all of you "people" on here talking shit about me, claiming I got Ted fired, and generally recirculating one-sided lies: you're digging your own grave. IDK who any of yall are, but someone in here sent messages to my phone with pictures of my son threatening to come to my house and rape him.

Signing me up for a bunch of bullshit email lists? I can lol at that. But making threats towards my family is crossing a line. When I was 2 dudes came into my house and tied up me and my mom. When I was 8 Griselda Blanco put a hit on my whole family and I lived under police protection for 2 months. I've had dudes kick in my door and hold me and my buddies at gunpoint. I have been the victim of more home invasion robberies than I care to remember, and in general I struggle with controlling an incredibly violent past that I did not choose. Maybe yall think I look like some goofy homie of yours, and that makes you think you can talk to me like you talk to your goofy homies–but that's not me. I have weapons stashed throughout the house, and I live in a way that I hope none of you will ever relate to because I have had to defend myself from things that I can't forget. If you've never found yourself in a real life situation where you either choose to die or defend yourself–then be thankful.

So, talk your shit about me in the slap message board all you want–that is your choice. But when you do, you know who your peers are: dudes who think it's cool to threaten to rape babies. And you know who you're talking about: someone whose experiences you don't understand.

Also, I got $100 for anybody who wants to give me the name and address of the person who sent that shit to my phone.

[Craig Lutzka]

Who’s Ted?

[Atiba Applebum]

I’m sorry to hear it, but it was likely a lurking bad actor lurking the boards.  Not that that helps.   Can you give an area code or anything of the offender?

[Circaskater420]

Are you the guy who runs that wack ass “zine”

[Shifty Flip]

Zach of mold?

[bongboarder420]

[ZachMoldof]

I’m sorry to hear it, but it was likely a lurking bad actor lurking the boards.  Not that that helps.   Can you give an area code or anything of the offender?

Nah, I broke that phone, and lost everything on it. Really just tried to ignore all this shit and keep it moving. Might have something in an old email from when I filed the police report. I'll take a look.

[blowjobtofakie]

Griselda Blanco, La Madrina, put a hit out on your whole family? Maybe it was her? You owe me a hundo.

[DA BIG BODY BENZ]

Expand Quote

I’m sorry to hear it, but it was likely a lurking bad actor lurking the boards.  Not that that helps.   Can you give an area code or anything of the offender?

[close]

Nah, I broke that phone, and lost everything on it. Really just tried to ignore all this shit and keep it moving. Might have something in an old email from when I filed the police report. I'll take a look.

 take it to insta like a real man

[georgethecat]

Who’s Ted?

I don't know, but it sounds like he sent some pretty gnarly texts.

[Jacob Gary]

What the fuck is this even about

[live, laugh, love]

I highly doubt anyone here knows who made death threats to you and your family. Not something most people brag about. Good luck though. Also when were these threats made to you?

[figureitout]

What in god's green earth are you blathering on about? Griselda Blanco? All i've got from your story is you've been a cocaine dealer your whole life and other cocaine dealers tried to rob/kill you, seems about right.

[Sick Duck]

I highly doubt anyone here knows who made death threats to you and your family. Not something most people brag about. Good luck though. Also when were these threats made to you?

my guess is nobody did. He probably doesn’t even have a son

[Roast beef]

Ted who? Not Feedback ted? Or Ted as in the talking teddy bear in the movie with Mark Wahlberg?

[johnes]

Lol sounds like he read the texts wrong if this is about xoflipxo, if that’s the case and he is your son, HE was the one saying he was gonna rape people.

[Silent Bob.]

I heard Warburger is a racist pos. this made me sad

[EdLawndale]

Also when were these threats made to you?

Yes, when? You made it sound like this occured today...

[Christmas Complete]

Ted who? Not Feedback ted? Or Ted as in the talking teddy bear in the movie with Mark Wahlberg?

Ted Kennedy. This guy reported on Chappaquiddick.

[os89]

Aaannnnddd now I remember why I was trying to take a break from slap. 
Damn it, now I'll have to pop back on tomorrow, if only to see where the fuck this shit goes. ¡Ay, caramba!

[Complements4U]

What the fuck is this even about

I’ve only seen Barney like that once before and I believe it was during the first inflammatory epoch, we had been riding the quantum perturbations when suddenly things felt strange, I come upon an eggshell, some anomalous zone, lacking the comfy blankie of inflation, that had been keeping us so warm. Sensing the loss of my blankie, Barney becomes primal, and immediately begins converting his infinite mass to energy at a logarithmic rate before I could even take a second to think and call Mother entropy it was too late. Barney is entropy now.... and all the anisotropies surrounding us inflated away at the speed of light, me and Barney still quantum entangled, I could not get away. Barney begins to spit out light elements, flooding us with noise, pushing out all the space we had made for my blankie , things started to feel strange, Barney has created space, filled with stuff, using stuff to create empty nothing, and there was nothing I or mother was ever going to do about it.

We looked into each other’s eyes as he manifested his destiny, all matter became matter, and everything that is going to happen, had already happened again and again as it did when I was remembering making the memory, fear and awe, rising up as one inside of me, in a way that only an animal can feel, we had transcended, we were now a part of the nothing, and I could feel the nothing, I couldn’t stop keeping track, I couldn’t stop processing. We had become the sublime.

And then he turned into a dolphin man.

[Lou Strux]

Expand Quote

What the fuck is this even about

[close]

I’ve only seen Barney like that once before and I believe it was during the first inflammatory epoch, we had been riding the quantum perturbations when suddenly things felt strange, I come upon an eggshell, some anomalous zone, lacking the comfy blankie of inflation, that had been keeping us so warm. Sensing the loss of my blankie, Barney becomes primal, and immediately begins converting his infinite mass to energy at a logarithmic rate before I could even take a second to think and call Mother entropy it was too late. Barney is entropy now.... and all the anisotropies surrounding us inflated away at the speed of light, me and Barney still quantum entangled, I could not get away. Barney begins to spit out light elements, flooding us with noise, pushing out all the space we had made for my blankie , things started to feel strange, Barney has created space, filled with stuff, using stuff to create empty nothing, and there was nothing I or mother was ever going to do about it.

We looked into each other’s eyes as he manifested his destiny, all matter became matter, and everything that is going to happen, had already happened again and again as it did when I was remembering making the memory, fear and awe, rising up as one inside of me, in a way that only an animal can feel, we had transcended, we were now a part of the nothing, and I could feel the nothing, I couldn’t stop keeping track, I couldn’t stop processing. We had become the sublime.

And then he turned into a dolphin man.

May you be showered in Shalom.

[Allen.]

The guy you’re looking for posts under the name Roast Beef

[childhood]

You ever see Cocaine Cowboys? What did you think of it?

[matty_c]

It’s like the navy seal copypasta I love it

[Mongoloid]

For all of you "people" on here talking shit about me, claiming I got Ted fired, and generally recirculating one-sided lies: you're digging your own grave. IDK who any of yall are, but someone in here sent messages to my phone with pictures of my son threatening to come to my house and rape him.

Signing me up for a bunch of bullshit email lists? I can lol at that. But making threats towards my family is crossing a line. When I was 2 dudes came into my house and tied up me and my mom. When I was 8 Griselda Blanco put a hit on my whole family and I lived under police protection for 2 months. I've had dudes kick in my door and hold me and my buddies at gunpoint. I have been the victim of more home invasion robberies than I care to remember, and in general I struggle with controlling an incredibly violent past that I did not choose. Maybe yall think I look like some goofy homie of yours, and that makes you think you can talk to me like you talk to your goofy homies–but that's not me. I have weapons stashed throughout the house, and I live in a way that I hope none of you will ever relate to because I have had to defend myself from things that I can't forget. If you've never found yourself in a real life situation where you either choose to die or defend yourself–then be thankful.

So, talk your shit about me in the slap message board all you want–that is your choice. But when you do, you know who your peers are: dudes who think it's cool to threaten to rape babies. And you know who you're talking about: someone whose experiences you don't understand.

Also, I got $100 for anybody who wants to give me the name and address of the person who sent that shit to my phone.

Nothing’s Shocking.

[Abyss1]

Aaannnnddd now I remember why I was trying to take a break from slap. 
Damn it, now I'll have to pop back on tomorrow, if only to see where the fuck this shit goes. ¡Ay, caramba!

[iKobrakai]

Will this be a Classic Slap thread?

[Jacob Gary]

Expand Quote

What the fuck is this even about

[close]

I’ve only seen Barney like that once before and I believe it was during the first inflammatory epoch, we had been riding the quantum perturbations when suddenly things felt strange, I come upon an eggshell, some anomalous zone, lacking the comfy blankie of inflation, that had been keeping us so warm. Sensing the loss of my blankie, Barney becomes primal, and immediately begins converting his infinite mass to energy at a logarithmic rate before I could even take a second to think and call Mother entropy it was too late. Barney is entropy now.... and all the anisotropies surrounding us inflated away at the speed of light, me and Barney still quantum entangled, I could not get away. Barney begins to spit out light elements, flooding us with noise, pushing out all the space we had made for my blankie , things started to feel strange, Barney has created space, filled with stuff, using stuff to create empty nothing, and there was nothing I or mother was ever going to do about it.

We looked into each other’s eyes as he manifested his destiny, all matter became matter, and everything that is going to happen, had already happened again and again as it did when I was remembering making the memory, fear and awe, rising up as one inside of me, in a way that only an animal can feel, we had transcended, we were now a part of the nothing, and I could feel the nothing, I couldn’t stop keeping track, I couldn’t stop processing. We had become the sublime.

And then he turned into a dolphin man.

I missed you.

[Junglist]

Kyle Robinson! Great to see you’re doing well!