Rape Trauma

[Junglist]

Hey Pals, I don’t know who to talk to, or how to air this out, but how do you deal with rape trauma? It’s plagued me my whole life, I believe my schizoaffective disorder may have been cause by this, and I’ve been severely suffering from daily psychosis, depressed, anxious and have attempted suicide several times since the age of 8/9, as well as contemplated it daily. Medication doesn’t change this and I’ve tried 12+ different things. The only escape I have are recreational drugs (pills) which I try to abstain from, and alcohol, and never get into anything hard, but I don’t know what to do and there’s also only so much I can explain in therapy, and to my spouse and what little friends I have in my life. There seems to be no answer for the hurt that I feel. I’m in so much pain and I don’t know what to do. Since fully coming to terms with it, my marriage has gotten significantly worse since I have been suffering from even worse/antisocial behavior than before. Please help and I’m sorry if this is not cool to post on this forum.

[augustmoon]

see a therapist that specializes in trauma/ptsd.  look into EMDR and cognitive processing therapy.  Check out books like "The Body Keeps the Score", "healing developmental trauma", "Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving", "Getting Past Your Past", and "Healing the Shame that Binds You".

this stuff can get better and you can feel like a different person, but I think you need someone that understands the intricacies of trauma. talk therapy only goes so far. 

good luck and keep us updated

[Junglist]

see a therapist that specializes in trauma/ptsd.  look into EMDR and cognitive processing therapy.  Check out books like "The Body Keeps the Score", "healing developmental trauma", "Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving", "Getting Past Your Past", and "Healing the Shame that Binds You".

this stuff can get better and you can feel like a different person, but I think you need someone that understands the intricacies of trauma. talk therapy only goes so far. 

good luck and keep us updated

Thank you augustmoon.

[Ms. Tamzarian]

Junglist, thank you for sharing these feelings with us - you're talking from a place that always deserves to be heard. Inevitably, people will blow it and say oh, well that's too much - crap like that. Nevertheless, you deserve to be heard and to achieve closure for yourself. 

The shalomies are here to support you! August you nailed it with those suggestions.

Please do what you can to be safe day to day - and know that as long as one part of one day is going good, you're doing great!

Reaching out means your brain is trying to protect your heart, and that's the best sign there is. Things will get better, and we are so sorry they're so rough now. The pain is real and the difficult times are warranted - you never deserved to go through what you went through. You deserve to be happy, always

I wish we could say it will get better fast, but it may not. That's normal, but it makes it no easier to know that it's normal. In the meantime, we are proud of you for doing whatever you can to recover your joy in this life. In due time! Like August said, keep us updated. You got this

[funeral_tuxedo]

Hey Junglist,
Along with augustmoon's therapy suggestion I think you could probably find a support group in your area. I don't know your location but I do know that there are survivor resources online that can link you with phone support and maybe you can begin to expand your support system through there. I also wanted to say that it's really brave of you to share this with us. If there are other folks on Slap who are dealing with trauma from past abuse maybe your act of reaching out will help them do the same. It's so hard to step up and ask for help in this world and it's awesome that you have.

Edit: this link to the RAINN website may be helpful https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
also https://hotline.rainn.org/online

[JANUS]

I experienced some trauma. This thread has solid advice. I did not find EMDR helpful, but to be honest I think I expected it to be unhelpful and that may have altered my experience. I found talk therapy extremely helpful, but I am not talkative in my day to day life, so that may have something to do with it. Meditation, medication, and regular exercise have also been helpful for me. Everybody is different, I am optimistic you can find what works for you.

[Junglist]

Yo thanks to all of you, very kind and helpful words. I for some reason haven’t been able to post the past couple of days but you all rock. Thank you. I hope those reading this can get the help they need as well.

[robertson]

Invest in yourself, you are worth it!

[buttchin]

Hey Junglist,

Thanks for sharing. I’m also schizoaffective, but I have a bipolar type component in my diagnosis. It took me a while to fully grasp the diagnosis when I first was diagnosed at 20 years old, but after having 3 heavy psychotic episodes that rattled my self-esteem and I am now close to 30 years old, I have fully accepted my diagnosis and my limitations and weaknesses.
What works for me is definitely meditation (if you’re able to block out the voices for a short while on medications) and also making gratitude journals.
I understand that it can be hard to love yourself when dealing with events that are completely out of your control and not your fault, but I’d definitely try out therapists/pathologists who specialize in hypnotherapy as well.
Also, going into the hospital and trying to get admitted into the behavioral health unit when you feel like self-harming is a sign of taking the next step into getting proper help in my eyes.
I had recently been discharged from the behavioral health unit in my hometown after being in the hospital for 18 days and I had gotten the proper inpatient help and outpatient help via group therapy classes with people who also suffer from mental health disorders, and it helps me out.
I hope all goes well going forward and I hope your heart and soul can heal. It’s hard, but there are plenty of crisis lines and professionals who are there to help us.

[Lou Strux]

I am not qualified to offer advice, but to the list of recommendations of outlets I’d like to add that there are a number of folks on here that, while not certified/licensed therapists, are quality people who will exchange DMs with you when your other outlets aren’t keeping office hours, so to speak.
It takes courage to reveal, relive, & review your past traumas in an honest way; you’re exposing yourself to a lot. I’m proud of you. I’m also here for you, on the other end of the internet, if you ever need to type some shit off your chest. I’d wager 99% of the people who replied to this thread are as well.
Take care of yourself. Be gentle & patient with yourself. You are not at all alone.

[Fongstarr.]

Man.....I had a long list of stuff to write but Slap is being odd as of late.


The short of it, I think professional help (if you can get it) is a start. The thing is, this stuff doesn't go away fast but getting into pills an alcohol isn't necessarily the answer as well. This isn't even close to what you went through but I ran into depression and even alcohol abuse when I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 7 years. I took it like a total bitch and I was 27 at the time and I just felt like my life was heading in a direction I wasn't prepared for. As a result, I drank a lot, got a DUI, had set backs at work, got into tons of debt, no real progression to get better and sort of spent years not doing a damn thing. If I can do it all over again, I would have tried to make real progression right away rather than sitting around wondering if life would just do it for me. Talk to some people and focus on other things that take your mind off your issues, get more hobbies, someone mentioned meditation and I think that is a great idea.

Take it a day at a time. Time does heal but man, when you want it to heal fast it never does but it will get better even if it is slightly. Rape is not the same but remember, it was not your fault and something that a lot of people do go through but is also something you can overcome and beat but you have to put in the effort.

Also you posting on this forum isn't a dumb thing at all. I did the same on another forum and got some advise that helped so much. So good luck and hang in there.