Skaters Who Are Jerks in Person

[thebacker]

^^no it's the most played out thoughtless pasta on the internet.

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

[RichardBarkley]

Expand Quote

^^no it's the most played out thoughtless pasta on the internet.

[close]

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

TLDR

[coldbrew]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Andrew cannon.

Came thru my local like 5 years ago before he was the nhs guy and I think he was on world/ain.

Anyway he did a nice nollie heel into a bank I said woo and slapped my board

He came back around the park and told me “you small town guys think that’s impressive you should go out to Cali and see what the real pros are doing u have no idea”. 

Mind u I’ve lived out west and in big city’s and have seen a few pros.... I wouldn’t wanna spend 5 more minutes around that guy

[close]

Wow, he really played himself. That's funny. Thanks for sharing.

I think Danny Way has gotten a more mellow attitude in maturity. Seems nice every time I saw him around town...

[close]

That sounds like he was trying to be self deprecating and maybe it came out like an insult. He’s a nice dude.

[close]

Pretty much this. Andew’s a sweetheart.

Definitely gonna double down on this one and say I've met and been around Andrew a good amount of times and he's always been a damn sweetheart and solid dude.

[fredgallSOTY]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Andrew cannon.

Came thru my local like 5 years ago before he was the nhs guy and I think he was on world/ain.

Anyway he did a nice nollie heel into a bank I said woo and slapped my board

He came back around the park and told me “you small town guys think that’s impressive you should go out to Cali and see what the real pros are doing u have no idea”. 

Mind u I’ve lived out west and in big city’s and have seen a few pros.... I wouldn’t wanna spend 5 more minutes around that guy

[close]

Wow, he really played himself. That's funny. Thanks for sharing.

I think Danny Way has gotten a more mellow attitude in maturity. Seems nice every time I saw him around town...

[close]

That sounds like he was trying to be self deprecating and maybe it came out like an insult. He’s a nice dude.

[close]

Pretty much this. Andew’s a sweetheart.

[close]

Definitely gonna double down on this one and say I've met and been around Andrew a good amount of times and he's always been a damn sweetheart and solid dude.

yeah, skated with him at LES when i was really little and was a super cool dude. Andrew Cannon appreciation thread.

[TheDingus]

Whoever said Cannon is a dick is very mistaken. He rules.

Nyjah is a dick. 100%

[Noble Experiment]

Most of these stories sound like you guys acting like awkward weirdos and the pros not wanting to talk to you. I feel like Larry fucking David reading this shit. They aren't jerks. You guys are just weird.

This; some of these stories boil down to “I saw this pro at this spot; he didn’t even look at me or say hi to me; he’s a dick”, or “I saw this pro, he said hi to me but it was such a half assed hi, he’s a dick”. Some pros probably just want to keep to themselves or just want to squeeze in a quick sesh and get the hell out of there without being bothered; we should be glad if they even say “hi” at all, they don’t even know who you are, they don’t even owe you a “hi” at all when it comes down to it. All the more power to the ones who do say hi and are friendly back, but if they aren’t I won’t crucify them for it. What makes a pro a dick to me? When they go out of their way to berate you or insult you for no reason (after skimming the thread the only one I saw that really fits that was the Ryan Hickey story), if they don’t respect your stuff (I’ve seen dudes at my park move other people’s stuff without asking or take other peoples wax or skate tool and just imagining a pro doing something like that would make them a grade A piece of shit), or doing something that could potentially cause physical harm to others (the Madars story fits that one). Oh yeah, and if a pro didn’t try to sexually assault you that’d be pretty cool as well.
 

[shannamal]

I grew up in SD so I’ve had my fair share of encounters with pros and industry peeps. Haha, spot on with the whole “they aren’t jerks you’re just weird” thing. Here are a few memorable ones, though:

Dan Murphy - Saw him at a bar during the Mystery days and always liked his skating back then so I bought him a pint and told him he had a sick nollie hardflip. He was definitely flexing his Nike sponsorship to random strangers and I got a chuckle out of that. Not really a jerk but he didn’t thank me for the beer.

Danny Way - Similar experience to others that have posted already, D Way was actually super nice and engaging in conversation when I met him at a random, downtown SD bar/lounge after a Padres game. But he had a spooky disposition about him. It wasn’t until years later that I heard about the ‘incident’ in the early 90’s (on Slap, of course) and it all made perfect sense.

Slash - Met him during the Ride The Sky days and when I asked what he was filming for next he told me he was injured. When I further inquired about what specifically he simply responded with something like “Everything” and then left with the hottest girl at the bar. Big fan after that. Hope he’s doing alright!

Micheal Burnett - I worked at BevMo back in college and he came in to buy a keg. Although there was never any acknowledgement of me recognizing him, he just gave off major asshole vibes and never once made eye contact. Burnout definitely bummed me out and I never really saw Thrasher the same since. This also may have been the year David Gonzalez won SOTY, though, and that was a double whammy. Conversely, Uncle Freddy came in while I worked there and he was a delight!

oh boy are you going to hate catching up on the last 3 years of slash

[skateandphotos]

Wouldn't say he's a jerk but at the roll for rob event last year Tanner Van Vark gave off some weird vibes, I tried to say whats up to him and he just walked away and wasn't with any of the team or anyone just kinda kept to himself. Everyone else was super cool though Ryan Townley was such a nice dude and so was Jim thiebaud.

[Beeda Weeda]

Billy Marks.

I was at a local Active signing about 5 years ago and brought along two sets of a dozen ping pong balls. He only signed one ball when I SPECIFICALLY ask him to sign all 24 of them. He blew me off so I went to the back of the line again and when I got to the front I STERNLY yet POLITELY asked him to sign the rest of my balls. He laughed and gave me a pair of Toy Machine socks as some sort of consolation as he went to the next person. I was so angry, I didn't want the socks, I wanted my ping pong balls signed because of the potential valuable investment they would be in the future.

So I waited for that prick in the parking lot afterward. He eventually came out and walked to his car to go leave so I quickly hopped in my car and drove up really close. That's when I flashed him my penis and threw a large vanilla milkshake right at his back windshield. I then sped off out of the parking lot for obvious safety reasons. Because you know what? It takes enlightened individuals like myself to set the balance of society straight. He should have just signed my ping pong balls and learned something called RESPECT.

sir, you have won the internet.
promote this man to MOD

[Frank and Fred]

The burnside tribe is an interesting one depending on the day you're there. Red and Germ have tried to flex on me one day but then have been great the next. Q-man, Pigpen, and Brent were always dicks.

You are right, there. Dogboy got in my face once after his board hit me in the face after a bail. Q-Man was super cool to me when I was focussing on getting a disaster on the punk wall. You just don't know how people are going to be down there.

I have to add I had a run in with 90s Kelch and he was super cool but it was not at EMB and he was on acid (so he said).

[honey island]

Wouldn't say he's a jerk but at the roll for rob event last year Tanner Van Vark gave off some weird vibes, I tried to say whats up to him and he just walked away and wasn't with any of the team or anyone just kinda kept to himself. Everyone else was super cool though Ryan Townley was such a nice dude and so was Jim thiebaud.

there is no reason to go up to tanner van vark whatsoever unless he is selling signed copies of the book of eli on blu ray signed by gary oldman, and he has video proof of him getting it signed. then you may go up to him.

[fredgallSOTY]

Expand Quote

Wouldn't say he's a jerk but at the roll for rob event last year Tanner Van Vark gave off some weird vibes, I tried to say whats up to him and he just walked away and wasn't with any of the team or anyone just kinda kept to himself. Everyone else was super cool though Ryan Townley was such a nice dude and so was Jim thiebaud.

[close]

there is no reason to go up to tanner van vark whatsoever unless he is selling signed copies of the book of eli on blu ray signed by gary oldman, and he has video proof of him getting it signed. then you may go up to him.

can't believe some people haven't caught on. its 2020 yo!!!!!

[hot take]

Andrew Cannon is not a dick, he’s a dork.

An old friend of mine had a little company going called “witchburner” and he was wearing the shirt at a world industries demo at my local park. Cannon loved the shirt and ended up buying a shirt and deck off him. Apparently he was an English professor and planned on using the shirt and board as a visual aide in a lecture about the witch hunts.

[pizzafliptofakie]

Darrell Stanton told me I smelled at a DC demo. He was probably right.


Tony Hawk didn't use his turn signal when coming to my local park and I had to wait like ten seconds longer to leave because of him.

[Hmmmm Nice Bike]

Expand Quote

^^no it's the most played out thoughtless pasta on the internet.

[close]

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Please, someone make a Slap Message Board user version of this copypasta.

[Had_to_be_said]

Most of these stories sound like you guys acting like awkward weirdos and the pros not wanting to talk to you. I feel like Larry fucking David reading this shit. They aren't jerks. You guys are just weird.

nailed it.

[figureitout]

I've met a lot of pros over the years and several of them my heroes. I have had some experiences that were kind and genuinely pleasant, and others pretty short or rude (I wouldn't go as far as to say jerks).

To name a few...

Genuine and kind:
-Dylan
-Heath
-Dill
-EE
-AA
-HUF
-McCrank
-Arto
-Jerry

Not so Genuine or kind:
-The Boss
-Penny
-Non sober Spanky
-Koston
-DD
-Fat Bill
-TJ

[fs180]

Unpopular opinion: most pros only went pro because they wouldnt give a shit about all the random skaters theyve met over the years

[MareVitals]

I've met a lot of pros over the years and several of them my heroes. I have had some experiences that were kind and genuinely pleasant, and others pretty short or rude (I wouldn't go as far as to say jerks).

To name a few...

Genuine and kind:
-Dylan
-Heath
-Dill
-EE
-AA
-McCrank
-Arto
-Jerry

Not so Genuine or kind:
-The Boss
-Penny
-Non sober Spanky
-Koston
-DD
-Fat Bill
-TJ

Heavy names. We need some stories.

[Craig Lutzka]

Dane Burman
Bryan Herman
Anthony Williams
Tristan Funkhouser
Nuge
Chris Wimer
That Hayden kid from Venice
They can all gobble on Craig’s Cobra!

[BroBruhBra]

Expand Quote

I've met a lot of pros over the years and several of them my heroes. I have had some experiences that were kind and genuinely pleasant, and others pretty short or rude (I wouldn't go as far as to say jerks).

To name a few...

Genuine and kind:
-Dylan
-Heath
-Dill
-EE
-AA
-McCrank
-Arto
-Jerry

Not so Genuine or kind:
-The Boss
-Penny
-Non sober Spanky
-Koston
-DD
-Fat Bill
-TJ

[close]

Heavy names. We need some stories.

I feel like all the shitty encounters on this list were just a bunch of cool guy moments aside from Penny who probably thought this guy was asking for a ticket to go to a movie on Mars or something. I'd be pissed, too, if I was mentally gone and needed a handler.

[sus]

Dane Burman
Bryan Herman
Anthony Williams
Tristan Funkhouser
Nuge
Chris Wimer
That Hayden kid from Venice
They can all gobble on Craig’s Cobra!

Naw man, Wimer's the friendliest dude!

[Dante Bichette]

Expand Quote

I saw Heath Kirchart at a grocery store in Melbourne years ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

this is the dumbest goddamn meme, it's basically the "wazzzzuuuupppp" beer commercial, but for Adam Lanza types.

Nah it's funny.

[Craig Lutzka]

Expand Quote

Dane Burman
Bryan Herman
Anthony Williams
Tristan Funkhouser
Nuge
Chris Wimer
That Hayden kid from Venice
They can all gobble on Craig’s Cobra!

[close]

Naw man, Wimer's the friendliest dude!

Dude brings his girlfriend to every session and makes out with her at the runway after he’s went full jock mode and one upped the most recent trick done there..... but yeah he’s friendly.

[drewdown]

Expand Quote

I think you’ll be okay as long as you don’t bump into mike Carroll at emb 27 years ago

[close]

Kelch was much worse

Kelch was cool when I met him back in the day. 

[heckler]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Dane Burman
Bryan Herman
Anthony Williams
Tristan Funkhouser
Nuge
Chris Wimer
That Hayden kid from Venice
They can all gobble on Craig’s Cobra!

[close]

Naw man, Wimer's the friendliest dude!

[close]

Dude brings his girlfriend to every session and makes out with her at the runway after he’s went full jock mode and one upped the most recent trick done there..... but yeah he’s friendly.

Okay, NOW we need the full story.

[Hombreezy]

Expand Quote

^^no it's the most played out thoughtless pasta on the internet.

[close]

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little kook? I'll have you know I tre flipped my local 6 stair, I've landed several stylish switch tricks, and I can do every blindside trick in skate. I am trained in flip tricks in to rails and I'm the top skater in the entire suburb. You are nothing to me but just another poser. I will kook you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in skating, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying fs board is blindside to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting likeminded skaters across reddit and your clips are being scrutinized right now so you better prepare for the gatekeeping, maggot. The real skaters that vibe out the pathetic little thing you call your skills. You fucking suck , kid. I can do any blindside trick, anytime, and I can flip in to bs lip seven hundred ways, and that's just with my regular stance. Not only am I extensively trained in switch tricks, but I have access to every real skater and I will use them to kook your miserable ass off the face of the slap messageboards, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment about  fs boardslides, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn fake skater. I will beat you in skate and you will focus. You're not a real skater, kiddo.

[Glurmpz]

Ooooh, here's another old one. I was cool with the person after the initial incident, but it's a funny story.

The day I moved out west to Vancouver I got a job at, and moved into, the Clubhouse skatepark (Colin skates it in Second Hand Smoke - the one with the elevated trailer home in the background). One day, Sam Devlin wants to get up to some shit so apparently he found a bike that was laying around and hucked it up onto the roof of the warehouse. I didn't even know about it until later when Sarah (one of the owners) told me Sam had thrown her bike on the roof. Then she went and flipped out on him. A few minutes later, when I'm skating near the open bay door leading out to the courtyard, Sam comes over looking super angry and grabs me by the collar of my shirt and pushes me outside, telling me he's gonna kick my ass for being a rat and telling Sarah it was him who threw her bike on the roof. Now, Sam is a sketchy dude, he looks sketchy too. But he's not big. Still, I was only 18 and had no idea why he thought that and was trying to tell him but he was having none of it. That is, until Ben Nichol came over and pulled him off of me and told him it wasn't me. Sam was cool with me ever since, but from that day forward I had a lot of respect for Ben Nichol. Nicest guy, fucking ripper too.

Sam never had a fair shake, his life was hard from day one so I never really held anything against him.

[Jud Nestorkins]

I’ve met a lot of pros and the only dude who I got weird vibes from was Provost last year, and he wasn’t even an asshole. Just quiet and stayed by the van at a demo, kept looking at me weird too. I had skated DOS bowl with him and GT like 15 years ago when I was 10 and they were both super rad and trying to get me to push myself. I doubt he recognized me but that’s the only reason I can think of why he was muggin so hard lol.

Well he does drink beer like 24/7 nowadays so...

[Beeda Weeda]

I think 95% of the pros/ams I have seen in person have been 5'6-5'8 and malnourished. .
  Most have been cool, but I knew at a very young age pros were not to be put on a pedestal. Show them respect like any other human.
McCrank was a sweetheart the one time I talked to him, and won the demo without acting like a super hero.