Author Topic: Most embarrassing slams  (Read 4044 times)

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Skeleton Pudding

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Most embarrassing slams
« on: September 29, 2020, 08:53:20 AM »
We've all had those falls. Maybe you were trying to impress someone, or wrecked on something easy. What's the one slam where you lost all dignity?

For me I was skating on a smooth cement walkway in a public park. There was a covered area with picnic tables and a kids birthday party. I was trying to be all cool and really push a carve around a corner in this bend in the path. I leaned too hard and flung myself into some dirt on my side. I would have stayed down - but the entire birthday party was pointing and laughing at me. I collected myself, got up, and skated away like nothing happened, even though my elbow and knee both hurt.

I provided more entertainment than any balloon animal making clown ever could.


Gritty

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2020, 10:12:28 AM »
I was skating to work one day and it started to rain. I also had to shit pretty bad but not an emergency. I cruised up right in front of the window to my job and put my foot down to stop but the ground was slippery as fuck and I slipped back, landed straight on my ass and completely shit myself, full turd mode dripping down my leg. I flung it out into an alley and walked home in shame

GlenSuggittsflexfit

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2020, 10:14:41 AM »
I was skating to work one day and it started to rain. I also had to shit pretty bad but not an emergency. I cruised up right in front of the window to my job and put my foot down to stop but the ground was slippery as fuck and I slipped back, landed straight on my ass and completely shit myself, full turd mode dripping down my leg. I flung it out into an alley and walked home in shame
Thank you for sharing that amazing story. It brightened my day.

matty_c

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2020, 10:18:29 AM »
When I was a kid I used to bomb this hill near my house all the time. I remember walking up it at the same time an elderly couple was walking down it. I said something like just be aware, Iíll be coming down this hill pretty quick in a minute

Hit a rock or something and got pitched right at their feet. Completely cut to shit. Old dude thought it was hilarious, which it was. Fuck it heíd be dead by now anyway


This isnít a slam but it was funny, I was riding a racing bike high as shit one time and I dinged my bell cause there were people walking but I dinged it late and I was right on them. I pulled off the path to avoid a fat woman but sheís zigged when she shoulda zagged and Iíve gone right up her arse with the front tyre and pushed her along for a bit. She didnít go down just sorta trotted it out
I have this vivid memory of the front wheel just jammed between her cheeks and Iím pushing her along for a few metres
listen to cosmic psychos

ok boomer

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2020, 10:19:19 AM »
Tried to kickflip off a ledge in front of some foxy ladies when I was around 20 or so. Ended up impaling myself on the nose of the board right between the legs. Hobbled off like it was no big deal until I was around the corner, then just laid down on the ground. My taint was cut/ bruised to fuckery and I couldn't skate for about 2 weeks. Felt like that was punishment for trying to impress womens with my skating.


ďIíve died a thousand times but Iím still aliveĒ Ė Fred Gall

BroBruhBra

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2020, 10:20:15 AM »
Snowboarding...Ö but still. Was riding with a cute girl and went through a little park area. I went to boardslide something and hit it way faster than I normally would have, trying to showoff. Caught my front edge, tumbled, and elbowed my kidney somehow. I knew I was hurt, but whatever. I kept riding. For the next week whenever I'd laugh it would hurt like hell. About a week after it happened I pissed blood and started the process of passing a scab through my urinary track. It's on par with kidney stones.

Woof. Didn't even kiss the girl.

diogenesofkokomo

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2020, 10:31:17 AM »
I slammed so fucking hard in front of an entire construction crew a couple months ago when I was heading home from work. I'd just gotten off the bus, ollied off the sidewalk and started cruising down the hill when I hit something and got pitched from my board. Landed right on my shoulder/elbow/knee and tumbled head over heels and slid a few feet down the street. Whatever the fuck I hit took a chunk out of my wheel too. The dudes at the construction site were kinda just like "uhhhh you good dude?" and kicked my board back to me, and all I could really do was be like "uh yeah totally dude" and skate off while my hand and elbow/forearm were leaking blood. Good times.

CannerSpaghetti

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2020, 10:35:31 AM »
Skating my homie's kicker in the back of a local school. The janitors came out to throw some trash away or something. Thought I was gonna be a cool guy so I went full speed and launched a huge front 180 off the top of the kicker. Board came off my feet right at the top and I landed primo harder than I ever have in my life right at their feet. Went full ragdoll and my arm got pinned behind my back in a weird angle that made it look like my arm was broken. I was fine but the lady janitor looked really spooked, and the dude janitor just laughed at me.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2020, 11:13:25 AM by CannerSpaghetti »

homegrown83

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2020, 10:37:25 AM »
Was skating to the train station from college one time. Had my backpack on and was feeling good. There was one path I took that was smooth but had debris on it sometimes. This time, I hit a fart rock and fell forward and actually slid on my forehead for a sec while my backpack flung over my head. Luckily no one was around but was still embarrassed.

Stu Pickles

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2020, 10:47:57 AM »
Canada day downtown and I was making my way to the core of the activities with the homies, local shop always ran a demo. Streets are all closed so you can just rip through crowds of people super fast. Beer in hand tried to ollie a sewer and just scorpioned in front of hundreds of people, beer spilling all over me. homeless dudes nearby lamented the spilled beer. laughed it off but i was bummed and reeked of booze in the hot sun for the rest of the day

DirtyBurger

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2020, 10:52:03 AM »
Tried to lip slide a tiny bump to bar and clipped. I didn't even try to put my arms out and smacked my chin, breaking my tooth in the process. This was in front of a group of younger skatepark girls. I picked my board up and went to through it down and missed, falling again. 16 year old me was bummed as shit that day.

Also this has to be posted in this thread for good measure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NulgtJrRfPQ

slutonparade

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2020, 11:14:59 AM »
Skating back to my dorm freshman year in college, my front left bearing just exploded in of the busier parts of campus.  I was completely pitched and just let myself lay on the ground for a while, pondering if the bearing explosion was some form of karmic retribution

friendly dave

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2020, 11:21:04 AM »
Who's got the gif of Dallas falling in the pond?
Because you can't kill and idea, and we will not be ruled!

the visuals are also mad visual yo
FTW

fredgallSOTY

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #13 on: September 29, 2020, 11:23:05 AM »
i was at a school and tried to quick ollie down (what i thought was) a 6 stair real short notice in a line. Turned out it was a 12 stair, but I was already in the air when I realized it. Landed with the board straight up in my gooch nearly avoiding my balls on about the 6th stair, then did a frontflip out of that, landed on my neck, rolled a little bit, and then my board smacked me in the head.

it was my first time skating with some of the more established older dudes in my area so I was fuckin bummed.
they took me to taco bell after tho so i did get somethin out of it.

sus

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #14 on: September 29, 2020, 11:25:29 AM »
Tried to lip slide a tiny bump to bar and clipped. I didn't even try to put my arms out and smacked my chin, breaking my tooth in the process. This was in front of a group of younger skatepark girls. I picked my board up and went to through it down and missed, falling again. 16 year old me was bummed as shit that day.

Also this has to be posted in this thread for good measure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NulgtJrRfPQ

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVdFdsXnZnz/

"Just bombed garrett hill" lol

coyote2425

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2020, 11:30:59 AM »
In college, my buddy wanted to try my board bombing a hill on campus through the residential area, while I tried his longboard. I ended up going way too fast and was coming up on some people so put my foot down to drag and slow down like I do all the time on my board. Put my foot down and did a front flip to back slam on the sidewalk right in front of a group of people. I made their night. That's what I get for riding a longboard.

Another also comes to mind, but it was just hilarious. Was bombing a parking garage ramp that had a sharp left turn at the bottom followed by an almost immediate right turn (International Plaza parking garage in Tampa if anyone's familiar). We all charged into it. I made the first left cut just fine, but when carving the right turn to miss the curb inertia took over and my body just flew parallel straight into the bushes. One of the funniest things I wish I'd seen.

Other than that, pretty much any time I go down it's embarrassing.

CannerSpaghetti

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2020, 11:31:55 AM »
i was at a school and tried to quick ollie down (what i thought was) a 6 stair real short notice in a line. Turned out it was a 12 stair, but I was already in the air when I realized it. Landed with the board straight up in my gooch nearly avoiding my balls on about the 6th stair, then did a frontflip out of that, landed on my neck, rolled a little bit, and then my board smacked me in the head.

it was my first time skating with some of the more established older dudes in my area so I was fuckin bummed.
they took me to taco bell after tho so i did get somethin out of it.

Holy shit I can't imagine what went through your head when you realized

TheBoognish

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2020, 11:36:56 AM »
I was 18 or 19.

I was bombing a hill I had no business bombing in Old Quebec where the ground is very rough and full of cracks with 50 mm skinny wheels... at night. Things were going smoothly, surprisingly I was almost there. No speed wobbles, no pebbles, no powersliding, nothing... I was fucking flying and I was going to conquer this motherfucker.

At the bottom of the hill were 3 hot older girls who were having a smoke outside a pub on the street corner cheering me. Well that distracted me, and the second I turned my head to get a good look at them I missed a crack and slammed so hard I knocked myself out and broke my wrist. I woke up to my friend freaking out and me thinking I was still in my bed not knowing where in the fuck I was.


That one sucked.


Willie

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #18 on: September 29, 2020, 11:47:47 AM »
This one is especially embarrassing because itís not on a skateboard and at an embarrassing time so I hesitate to bring it up.

Itís 1994 and Iíve essentially quit skateboarding because Iím just out of high school and more concerned with getting trashed and hanging out. A grandparent has given me a pair of rollerblades because itís the 1990ís. I didnít ďrollerbladeĒ (like do tricks) but I kind of liked doing it as an alternative to jogging and it was the 1990ís so most people thought that was normal. Anyway, I ship off to college and bring the Ďblades and leave the board.

One day Iím out Ďbladin and when I get back to campus there is this 4í bollard at the entrance to the walking path back to the dorms. Iím feeling frisky so I leapfrog it on the way in. Unfortunately my huge 1990ís shorts catch on the way down so I forcefully pivot in midair to face first. My shorts then give way and Iím plopped to the ground. Iím not hurt and no one seems to have seen the incident but now my shorts have become a tactical kilt and Iím in tighty whities because boxer briefs arenít invented for another year. I ride back to my dorm past a bunch of people who donít seem to notice but my pride takes a beating.

Eventually I meet the one other punk/skater dude at school and somehow get an extra complete from a raver and start skateboarding again.

MorningSesh

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #19 on: September 29, 2020, 11:59:31 AM »
Skating back to the train late night in nyc after a long day with some homies. I fucking eat it getting noobishly pitched from a sidewalk crack to the street and turned to hear a bunch of "awww" & "you okay?" from a group of girls that were looking like they were heading home from a night out. Laughed it off but felt like the biggest dork inside for sure

os89

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #20 on: September 29, 2020, 12:03:31 PM »
When you go to throw your board down, but your balance is slightly out wack because youíre carrying like a twelve pack or something in one hand.

Then you just look like a complete uncoordinated goof riding away, or immediately you eat shit.

Happens a few times a year, so I donít really get that embarrassed anymore. Having no shame helps a little, not completely, but a little.

ChuckRamone

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #21 on: September 29, 2020, 12:16:05 PM »
I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. During college, I was skating down a mellow hill one time fairly close to campus and a cop in his car told me through his loudspeaker that I wasn't allowed to skate on the street. I flipped him off or cursed him out or something and started to take off. I didn't make it very far before I hit a rock or a crack or something and fucking ate shit super hard and had huge gouges in my palms. The cop drove up, asked me if I was okay and took a first aid kit out of his trunk and bandaged me up. That was pretty embarrassing.

Dirty_Dan90

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #22 on: September 29, 2020, 12:18:37 PM »
Back in 02' i was in middle school and there was this lil 6 set right before you got to the bus loop down this long walkway and one day after class had ended and just about the entire school was heading to the buses I threw down full speed and was gonna blast my biggest ollie then get on my bus to go home, well i was wearing my bookbag full of books and didnt realize how much it weighed me down until id ollied the set, stuck bolts and was tossed and slammed 10ft from impact in front of everyone. I just remember getting back up and hearing almost everyone laughing at me but i wasnt gonna have it, i threw my bookbag off kicked my board back up and ran back up the lil set until one of the teachers stopped me from trying it again. i was so pissed because i knew i  could ollie this lil 6 in my sleep but my bookbag had just made me top heavy. Ive had worst slams but that one stung the worst even after almost 2 decades now.

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #23 on: September 29, 2020, 12:24:57 PM »
when nyjah slamed on SLS I  felt embarrassed
9/11 was a national tragedy

FUBAR

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #24 on: September 29, 2020, 12:52:23 PM »
Not really a fall but...I was in 9th grade and at some youth church thing a friend dragged me to. Went out on the patio to skate and there were like four chicks out there. I said hi and went to try a 360 flip and accidentally farted massively as I crouched down to pop and flip...they all heard it and screamed, ďGross! The fat guy just farrrrteddd!Ē and ran inside, telling everyone. Never did land it, and never went back to lame ass church group, either. I never knew I had a fart coming on...sneaky bastard.
Be your own person

FlatBeat

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #25 on: September 29, 2020, 01:26:38 PM »
- Was bombing down a mellow but long hill to get to a party when I was 16 or so. Saw a group of friends with some girls I liked and they all looked at me. I decided to do this weird carving/swerving thing to look cool I guess and my board shot out, wound up instantly getting my feet knotted when I hit the concrete and ate shit. Casually brushed it off then rode off like a cool guy but wound up getting to the party and quickly realized I had a concussion. Wound up spending the whole night in the ER puking and to this day feel I likely developed post concussion issues which messed with a lot of my teens and  early twenties. Good times.

- Skating home from work on my cruiser and discovered that the stairs in front of a bentley dealership were grindable without wax. Each day I would hit it a little faster until I got stupidly confident and would grind a good 10 feet while ripping home each day, again, thinking I was pretty cool. One day I locked in faster then ever and was way too relaxed, knees barely bent, not respecting the speed. My trucks got stuck in a notch and stopped on a dime, I literally did 3/4 of a front flip and landed on my backpack which conveniently had a metal water bottle in it. I landed directly on the water bottle with my sacrum with all the momentum of the front flip. I layed there for a good  20 seconds, back bent over the water bottle while people in the dealership looked at me and busy traffic was everywhere, just blinded by pain and in awe of what happened. I never hit that ledge again.

I was once ridding on that same cruiser and a bar patio full of drunk guys shouted do a kickflip. I was riding decently fast and said screw it then proceeded to bust the cleanest properly flicked kickflip of my life on a 9 inch deck with 60mm wheels. They all lost their shit and I rode off into the sunset. I like to think that event somehow cancels out the memories of the first two slams.

Sluggloaph

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #26 on: September 29, 2020, 01:32:08 PM »
I was waiting for the bus ,I'm an eco warrior, or just a shithead. Any way, I was waiting an talkin to like the sweetest old lady. She's like oh skateboards?! My grandson blah blah tony hawk. So I'm like yea cool but we got of at the same stop and I was like here check this out, only gonna do a sweet ollie, I run throw down the board... eat shit immediately. Like so stupid. She's like a sweet grandma, maybe you need more practice and the bus of people are yuckin it up.

And I didn't get the gig I ws goin to interview for, pretty doap.
Whoa. Danger.

skunty

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #27 on: September 29, 2020, 01:42:31 PM »
some really good stories in this thread. mine is weak by comparison. I usually just laugh at myself when I fall, but this one was too painful and stupid to laugh. My local has a very long bank (basically a hill) with a rail, and I was trying to haul ass from across the park to go up the bank and board slide the end of the rail. After a few tries I was getting close but just needed a bit more speed, so I'm pushing super hard going as fast as I can when my last push before the bank clips one of my wheels and I just get pitched full force into the bottom of the bank. Our park has very rough concrete too, so I had a dollar bill sized deep abrasion on my forearm, plus some less deep ones on my shoulder and back. All from fucking up pushing.

trash

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #28 on: September 29, 2020, 02:15:53 PM »
I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. During college, I was skating down a mellow hill one time fairly close to campus and a cop in his car told me through his loudspeaker that I wasn't allowed to skate on the street. I flipped him off or cursed him out or something and started to take off. I didn't make it very far before I hit a rock or a crack or something and fucking ate shit super hard and had huge gouges in my palms. The cop drove up, asked me if I was okay and took a first aid kit out of his trunk and bandaged me up. That was pretty embarrassing.

This is the winner

Mesteezo

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Re: Most embarrassing slams
« Reply #29 on: September 29, 2020, 02:17:28 PM »
One time I bought a 6 pack of beers in glass bottles and skated back to my cousins house. I rolled off a curb but I didn't realize that the pavement in front of it was so fucked up and crusty. My back wheels got caught and I eat shit hard and all of the bottles break. There were 2 drivers at stop signs that witnessed this and I just skated off and left my broken beers and dignity in the street.