Author Topic: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar  (Read 1181 times)

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VHS ERA

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duniwayRobber

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2020, 07:38:40 AM »
https://youtu.be/9Pg2CDCm34w

You can never really say what you would do in that situation, but I would have been launching rocks like a mothafucka. Yikes.

edit: just found this info -
“In that situation, with that mother mountain lion who’s being very protective, as you can tell, I would not take my eyes off of her and I wouldn’t bend down,” Root said. “You want to remain large and you want to remain making a lot of noise. And that’s what he did.”

I guess he did the right thing.
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Lorem_Ipsum

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2020, 09:40:54 AM »
Holy shit. Pretty incredible that this guy was able to have the brain capacity to pull out his phone and start recording when he could have been mauled at any second. Incredible in a good or bad way, take it how you will...

RCB3

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2020, 11:03:21 AM »
Expand Quote

You can never really say what you would do in that situation, but I would have been launching rocks like a mothafucka. Yikes.

edit: just found this info -
“In that situation, with that mother mountain lion who’s being very protective, as you can tell, I would not take my eyes off of her and I wouldn’t bend down,” Root said. “You want to remain large and you want to remain making a lot of noise. And that’s what he did.”

I guess he did the right thing.

Yea, I read his comments back to people and said every time he would try to bend down to get a rock or look to the side to find a rock to pick up, that's when it would do that lunge.

As utterly terrifying as this is, his dialogue is pretty hilarious and sounds similar to something I'd be saying, although I'd be way more shook up after. Also, super impressive to walk backwards for 6 minutes and not trip on any of those rocks.


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EdLawndale

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2020, 11:54:51 AM »
Yeah, that's nuts. Def pays to bring a knife and pepper spray when hiking, alone or with others.

Level 60 Dwarf Rogue

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2020, 11:58:59 AM »
Fucking cats bro. Ruthless beasts, any size.

Twanked n Danked

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2020, 12:04:56 PM »
If you're going to hike alone, at least bring an air horn. Would've scared the big cat away.

EdLawndale

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2020, 12:11:24 PM »
^^^smart

DirtyBurger

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2020, 12:23:20 PM »
Wow, crazy stuff. Hiking alone is great, but I always have that fear in the back of my mind. I was also expecting this to be about an older woman stalking someone.
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layzieyez

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2020, 02:02:20 PM »
I carry a walking stick with me. This stick. Doubles as a practice sword.

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IusedToSkateMore

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2020, 02:14:12 PM »
Right about this time last year, we were living in a cottage on the edge of a redwood grove located at the bottom of a mountain. We'd see all kinds of shit, bears, deer, bob cat, fox, and a fisher cat. One night we're getting fried, watching Netflix or something and hear this bump outside. I get up to open the door, figuring it's always cool to see a raccoon or something up close when I'm super baked. My partner turns the light on and looks out the window as my hand is turning the knob and says "Holy shit. That's a big cat." I look out the window and there's a fucking mountain lion, probably 7 feet long, nose to tail staring into our window from the porch. That magical motherfucker sauntered away into the night. Seeing as I was hiking 2 miles through the forest to grad school most days, 8am and 830pm, the month of November was pretty nerve wrecking.

Mountain lions are badass but man, they're hard neighbors to have.

ihatejulio

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2020, 02:32:26 PM »
This happened to me once when I went hiking.

I was hiking alone in the foothills of Santa Paula when I heard a rustling in the bushes behind where I was walking. I turned around and saw nothing there, so I kept walking. A couple of minutes later I heard the same noise so I turned around was jolted back in terror. Before me was a cougar in a wrinkled leopard dress and hair the color of Chad Muska's pubes.

As she approached me I decided to make myself big and yell "Hair metal was a mistake!" over and over again. This seemed to frighten her keep her at bay for the time being. That's when I spotted an empty pack of Virginia Slims on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up she lunged at me. At the last second, I managed to toss the empty pack into the bushes which temporarily misdirected her. That's when I decided to make a run for it and getaway.

Definitely learned a lesson that day.

VHS ERA

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #12 on: October 13, 2020, 04:35:34 PM »
I’m in a weird place with cougars right now. Last time I smashed one I was 27 and she was 40. Proper cougar age gap. She was hot and it awesome. Now I’m 32... would 40 even be a cougar to me or are we basically the same age group? What is getting with an older woman if I’m fuckin old now? Do I go older? Do I even want that?
https://youtu.be/7QUVNcQdTxo

SneakySecrets

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2020, 09:49:59 PM »
That was absolutely terrifying.

If anyone needs to mellow out after that, may I recommend Timothy Treadwell kissing this baby seal?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Mmu8i_DNV4&feature=share

Hombreezy

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #14 on: October 14, 2020, 03:54:20 AM »
Yeah, that's nuts. Def pays to bring a knife and pepper spray when hiking, alone or with others.
Or a giant ball of yarn

Alan

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2020, 08:12:23 AM »
Expand Quote
Yeah, that's nuts. Def pays to bring a knife and pepper spray when hiking, alone or with others.
[close]
Or a giant ball of yarn

lol a laser pointer

I don't get why the cougar ran away at the end. It looked like it was startled by something but I couldn't see what.
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layzieyez

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2020, 08:24:54 AM »
Oooh, does laser pointer work? I keep a green laser pointer, too. Perfect non-lethal for dealing with threats.
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Hash Slinging Slasher

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2020, 09:15:18 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Yeah, that's nuts. Def pays to bring a knife and pepper spray when hiking, alone or with others.
[close]
Or a giant ball of yarn
[close]

lol a laser pointer

I don't get why the cougar ran away at the end. It looked like it was startled by something but I couldn't see what.
looked like he was finally able to crouch down and pick up a rock to throw?

also, i get you're not thinking 100% clearly in a situation like this, but he couldn't he have kicked rocks so that he didn't have break eye contact or crouch? or is it bad to make the first move in a situation like that?

RENTSTRIKE

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2020, 09:22:07 AM »
A fairly attractive older woman started flirting with me when I was walking up the beach after surfing this morning. She was very nice, but as we chatted I slowly started to realize she seemed pretty kooky. Told her my name and she might have seen me walk to my car, so now I'm nervous that in addition to everything being fucked, I may in fact be stalked by a cougar.

shucknjive

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2020, 09:24:14 AM »
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TheLurper

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2020, 09:59:59 AM »
Fuck, I remember this kid I sort of skated with dated a cougar... She faked being pregnant in order to prevent him from leaving her.

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ungzilla

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2020, 12:07:58 PM »
I carry a walking stick with me. This stick. Doubles as a practice sword.




those cold steel videos are classic

Yushin Okami

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #22 on: October 14, 2020, 01:38:46 PM »
This is terrifying but his initial "Fuck you, dude!" will never not be funny
We all know you have two sexy anthropomorphic wolves who buttfuck each other on the bottom of your board.

Alan

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2020, 04:03:09 PM »
looked like he was finally able to crouch down and pick up a rock to throw?

also, i get you're not thinking 100% clearly in a situation like this, but he couldn't he have kicked rocks so that he didn't have break eye contact or crouch? or is it bad to make the first move in a situation like that?

I guess? It just didn't seem like he actually threw it... But yeah, I'd be too scared to crouch and possibly lose eye contact.
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SneakySecrets

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #24 on: October 14, 2020, 06:02:15 PM »
I wonder how effective a weaponized catnip aerosol would be.  Cougar gets a little wake and bake sesh, you escape with your life.  Win win.

Concerned_Skater

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #25 on: October 16, 2020, 07:13:32 PM »
That's nothing...

Imagine taking a hike and encountering this?

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6MtefChe2U/

Síota

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2020, 02:51:17 PM »
I was wondering why he didn't kick rocks at it also. I get the not breaking eye contact and bending over.
I'd love to know what scared it in the end as that cat booked it.

DA BIG BODY BENZ

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2020, 03:06:08 PM »
Wow, crazy stuff. Hiking alone is great, but I always have that fear in the back of my mind. I was also expecting this to be about an older woman stalking someone.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=60NXS7VRT74

Gay Imp Sausage Metal

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2020, 11:11:52 PM »
I had very different expectations about this thread before opening it

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Szechuan

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Re: Everything is fucked but at least you’re not being stalked by a cougar
« Reply #29 on: October 27, 2020, 11:33:17 PM »
I’m in a weird place with cougars right now. Last time I smashed one I was 27 and she was 40. Proper cougar age gap. She was hot and it awesome. Now I’m 32... would 40 even be a cougar to me or are we basically the same age group? What is getting with an older woman if I’m fuckin old now? Do I go older? Do I even want that?
https://youtu.be/7QUVNcQdTxo
Yeah you want that.