Author Topic: @sneakysecrets  (Read 1468 times)

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Dinglenuts

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@sneakysecrets
« on: December 29, 2020, 10:36:20 AM »
This man deserves something special done for him. Thanks to your humor, I will never successfully leave this hellhole, and I thank you for that. Hopefully some of you idiots appreciate him too, or this is pretty fucking awkward.

behavioralguide

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2020, 11:25:29 AM »
Let’s cut the horseshit and get Freddy on the phone with Warren Buffet.

Warren Buffet:  Yes.

Fred Gall: Yo, it’s Fred Gall, man.

Warren Buffet:  Hey.

Fred Gall: Dude, I’m up here in my local skateshop, man.

Warren Buffet: Yeah, I got your message, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

Fred Gall: Well, alright. The shop got denied, man. I don’t know why I wasn’t with them. You know me, I like to do my own thing. But I think you’re probably the only man that could help them to avoid bankruptcy.

Warren Buffet: OK, I have no idea how to approach that. What, do I just call Deluxe? I don’t know.

Fred Gall: Man, W-Buff man, it’s Fred Gall man. Remember I skated your ramp? Brian Ridgeway!

Warren Buffet: Yeah man, I know, yeah, I hear you, of course.

Fred Gall: You’re the only one that can help us. We need to pay rent.

Warren Buffet: I would be happy to help if you could give me a directive. I can’t just help without knowing something specific, or someone to call.

Fred Gall: You know what Warren?

Warren Buffet: Yeah.

Fred Gall: I appreciate you even calling back, man.

Warren Buffet: OK, well, like I said, I totally would be happy to help the local skateshop, if it gets in a situation, where they can call me…

Fred Gall: No, he’s in a situation, Warren!

Warren Buffet: If someone…

Fred Gall: You’re the only one! Listen dude, alright. I’ll set it up.
(crosstalk)
Fred Gall: Dude, where you at right now, man?

Warren Buffet: I’m in Los Angeles.

Fred Gall: You partying?


Fred Gall: Dude, they denied their credit, man!

Warren Buffet: Yeah, I understand…

Fred Gall: The shop-sponsored kid does fucking McTwists, dude.

Warren Buffet: I understand what happened. But I can’t just call Deluxe, you’ve got to give me something specific, OK…

Fred Gall: No, it’s not over yet. Please…

Warren Buffet: OK, it’s not over yet, tell the owner to call me.

Fred Gall: Warren, Warren, can I just tell you one thing? I love you, brother. I jumped off your trampoline into your pool. Back with Brian Ridgeway.

Warren Buffet: Yeah, I remember.

Fred Gall: This is Fred Gall, man.

Warren Buffet: Yep, OK. Thanks, Fred.

Fred Gall: Get them financially solvent!

Warren Buffet: I’ll try.

Fred Gall: Alright. Take care, Warren.

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2020, 01:01:55 PM »
^ haha brilliance.
I’ve really cut back on kissing the screen whenever I see my favorite pals’ posts.  Not trying to be a hero, just doing my part.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2020, 01:17:23 PM by Dinglenuts »

Lou Strux

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2020, 04:46:15 PM »
Big fan of Sneaky over here.

I wanna play you in a game of SKATE for the right to continue talking shit on me.  You think you got me?

Madam, I'm Adam

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2020, 07:58:54 PM »
Big fan of Sneaky over here.

Seconded  8)

Lou Strux

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2020, 08:09:41 PM »
Come for the Sneaky, stay for the Secrets.

I wanna play you in a game of SKATE for the right to continue talking shit on me.  You think you got me?

Francis Xavier

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2020, 08:40:02 PM »
That motherfucker is a Slap treasure,protect him at ALL COSTS

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

Sativa Lung

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2020, 09:40:46 PM »
He gives kids at his local park used boards in exchange for pictures of their shins. Really weird dude.

ChuckRamone

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2020, 09:54:02 PM »
He should start an OnlyFans or a Cameo.

silhouette

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2020, 11:37:20 PM »
I just want him to finally learn nollie flips so bad. Him eventually getting them thanks to our collective emulation would be this thread's most glorious purpose.

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2020, 06:27:58 AM »

Mr. Stinky

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2020, 11:48:06 AM »
If you’ve been around here for any amount of time and say that he hasn’t made you laugh out loud at some point, you’re a fucking liar.

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2020, 12:39:18 PM »
He should start an OnlyFans or a Cameo.

I’d pay good money to see his dick!

os89

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2020, 01:10:22 PM »
https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?topic=106026.msg3061283#msg3061283

I created this thread last year, specifically to shout out my homie @SneakySecrets and @planman.

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2020, 03:17:58 PM »
https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?topic=106026.msg3061283#msg3061283

I created this thread last year, specifically to shout out my homie @SneakySecrets and @planman.
I was around then(under an alias) and forgot about that one..proves the mans still a legend though! Happy New year to you and him and all the legends on here!

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2020, 03:21:05 PM »
Expand Quote
He should start an OnlyFans or a Cameo.
[close]

I’d pay good money to see his dick!
Ya know damn well he’s got a monster dong...guaranfuckinteed

ChuckRamone

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2020, 06:09:17 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
He should start an OnlyFans or a Cameo.
[close]

I’d pay good money to see his dick!
[close]
Ya know damn well he’s got a monster dong...guaranfuckinteed

It would be cool to see his dick. It would also be cool if he made Slap posts based on requests.

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2020, 06:57:45 PM »
It would be cool if he could step away from his lavish New Years party for a moment and say hi.

pugmaster

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2021, 02:14:37 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
He should start an OnlyFans or a Cameo.
[close]

I’d pay good money to see his dick!
[close]
Ya know damn well he’s got a monster dong...guaranfuckinteed
[close]

It would be cool to see his dick. It would also be cool if he made Slap posts based on requests.

Come on Sneaky,  don't be stingy...

https://dailyblocks.tv/r/yourmomshousepodcast/comments/i7rjk9/come_on_mark_dont_be_stingy_video_edited_it_down/
« Last Edit: January 02, 2021, 01:59:29 AM by pugmaster »
"...We got the nuclear worm over here..."

Never forget:
Rusty_Berrings, 360 frip, Yapple Dapple, Bubblegum Tate

Slayer666

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2021, 03:32:48 PM »
Yea bro wtf

Slayer666

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2021, 03:33:40 PM »
Where are you at

blowjobtofakie

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2021, 09:11:28 AM »
Still the greatest post of all time.





October 3rd 4,300,000,000 BCE

You are a undifferentiated clump of spontaneously-formed organic molecules floating aimlessly in the primordial ooze.  You do not know how you got here, nor why you are here.  What is this dark and foreboding orb hurtling through the vast, seemingly infinite expanse of space?  You have no brain, you have no body.  No thought, no vision.  There really isn’t even a “you” at all, and yet... here you are, straddling the line between inanimate object and living being, the earliest ancestor to every living creature on Earth.  You “see” your homies chilling in the same frothy, violent, chaotic mess which bore you.  As lightening continually cracks across what will someday be known as “the sky” and as sulfuric acid rains down, you bust a buttery back tail and your homies tap their nucleotides.



October 3, 2194

The war against the machines grows ever more desperate as humans have fled the surface and live only in isolated pockets in what were once sewers and subway stations.  Children hunt for rats and worms to bring back to camp, the only sources of protein still available.  There have been whispers of killing and eating the elderly.  They must die so that the rest of may live to fight another day.

Titanium super-soldiers scan the wastelands for traces of human life, uploading their data to a decentralized AI.  The hive mind achieved sentience 30 years ago.  For the shivering denizens of the subsurface, it may have just as well been 3,000 years ago.  Most can’t even remember what the sun looks like.

Suddenly a grate slams down as the “pew pew” of laser-rifle fire erupts.  It’s the surface scout team, they’ve been spotted and have let the machines right to us!  Global positioning data of your exact location is instantly uploaded as every AI-controlled soldier within 20 miles instantly snaps around to face the underground encampment.  Within 15 minutes everyone will be dead.

Knowing these are your last moments on Earth, you grab your board, and as women and children cling together and sob, you bust out one final, buttery back tail just as your robot assassins breach the flimsy sheet metal barricade.  They tap the butts of their laser rifles on the ground in acknowledgment before systematically executing you and everyone you love.

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2021, 10:54:15 AM »
Still the greatest post of all time.


Expand Quote



October 3rd 4,300,000,000 BCE

You are a undifferentiated clump of spontaneously-formed organic molecules floating aimlessly in the primordial ooze.  You do not know how you got here, nor why you are here.  What is this dark and foreboding orb hurtling through the vast, seemingly infinite expanse of space?  You have no brain, you have no body.  No thought, no vision.  There really isn’t even a “you” at all, and yet... here you are, straddling the line between inanimate object and living being, the earliest ancestor to every living creature on Earth.  You “see” your homies chilling in the same frothy, violent, chaotic mess which bore you.  As lightening continually cracks across what will someday be known as “the sky” and as sulfuric acid rains down, you bust a buttery back tail and your homies tap their nucleotides.



October 3, 2194

The war against the machines grows ever more desperate as humans have fled the surface and live only in isolated pockets in what were once sewers and subway stations.  Children hunt for rats and worms to bring back to camp, the only sources of protein still available.  There have been whispers of killing and eating the elderly.  They must die so that the rest of may live to fight another day.

Titanium super-soldiers scan the wastelands for traces of human life, uploading their data to a decentralized AI.  The hive mind achieved sentience 30 years ago.  For the shivering denizens of the subsurface, it may have just as well been 3,000 years ago.  Most can’t even remember what the sun looks like.

Suddenly a grate slams down as the “pew pew” of laser-rifle fire erupts.  It’s the surface scout team, they’ve been spotted and have let the machines right to us!  Global positioning data of your exact location is instantly uploaded as every AI-controlled soldier within 20 miles instantly snaps around to face the underground encampment.  Within 15 minutes everyone will be dead.

Knowing these are your last moments on Earth, you grab your board, and as women and children cling together and sob, you bust out one final, buttery back tail just as your robot assassins breach the flimsy sheet metal barricade.  They tap the butts of their laser rifles on the ground in acknowledgment before systematically executing you and everyone you love.
[close]
Holyfuckballs... that was incredible. And ironically you re-posted it because you have the best username on here.. make believe gnars to both of you.

I had it too... I figured it was some sort of mean-spirited taunt because I’ve put on a couple pounds.

I also appear to have lived through medieval times, the Crusades and the Black Plague.

*Edit: Had to toss this fresh one in here from the Cheesecake in our profile thread.


« Last Edit: January 03, 2021, 11:20:11 AM by Dinglenuts »

Slayer666

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #23 on: January 04, 2021, 07:53:03 PM »
Re: You show up to your local park/spot and then immediately leave.
 Reply #3 on: June 08, 2020, 04:10:34 PM
I’m a pretty easygoing guy, but there’s a couple of things that will make me leave immediately:

Anyone over the age of 35
Anyone under the age of 25
Anyone with colored trucks
Anyone with wheels graphics out
Anyone with Philips hardware
Anyone wearing a helmet
Anyone that might be better than me
Anyone puts their g.d. hand on their board for any reason
Anyone gets into a fucking railstand
Anyone with colored/patterned grip
Anyone with earbuds in
Anyone playing music from a speaker of any kind
Anyone that doesn’t immediately greet me
Anyone that wants to stop and fucking chit chat
Anyone that says “Yew!”
Anyone that taps their board to applaud a trick
Anyone that mixes up fs and bs while naming a trick
Anyone asks me to play SKATE
Anyone playing a game of SKATE without asking if I’d like to join

Dinglenuts

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Re: @sneakysecrets
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2021, 07:34:35 AM »
^ Gold