Author Topic: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread  (Read 28555 times)

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spicysk8rboi

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #240 on: March 19, 2022, 09:27:26 AM »
I have identity issues that I guess I never really talk about and don't know how to talk about with my loved ones. I thought I could talk to my wife about it but I understand she isn't my therapist. I spend most days depressed in a fog which may or may not be linked to a neurological disorder that I second guess because I don't think I received a proper diagnosis. Meds help for sure but it feels embarrassing when people compare it to legal meth. Ive been raw dogging life mostly and I have a decent paying job and have health insurance but sitting down and taking calls back to back is so exhausting. I'm too exhausted to clean up after myself only until it gets unbearable. I know therapy would be good for me but its so hard to do anything for myself that I haven't scheduled anything yet, and when I'm in therapy I don't really open up. Maybe I wasn't in it long enough or just didn't vibe w me therapist enough to be completely open. I guess I'm just using this as my journal for right now, not asking for any advice specifically (though a tip or two I'd appreciate).
Any one ever feel trapped? I feel I'll never move out of this small shitty town, go back to school for what I want, or anything really.

in love w/ fs shuvs

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #241 on: March 22, 2022, 01:30:48 AM »
I have identity issues that I guess I never really talk about and don't know how to talk about with my loved ones. I thought I could talk to my wife about it but I understand she isn't my therapist. I spend most days depressed in a fog which may or may not be linked to a neurological disorder that I second guess because I don't think I received a proper diagnosis. Meds help for sure but it feels embarrassing when people compare it to legal meth. Ive been raw dogging life mostly and I have a decent paying job and have health insurance but sitting down and taking calls back to back is so exhausting. I'm too exhausted to clean up after myself only until it gets unbearable. I know therapy would be good for me but its so hard to do anything for myself that I haven't scheduled anything yet, and when I'm in therapy I don't really open up. Maybe I wasn't in it long enough or just didn't vibe w me therapist enough to be completely open. I guess I'm just using this as my journal for right now, not asking for any advice specifically (though a tip or two I'd appreciate).
Any one ever feel trapped? I feel I'll never move out of this small shitty town, go back to school for what I want, or anything really.

I've been to a therapist and it's kinda mid. I've spent like 100 bucks. It's basically just venting to people. Idk about CBT. If you feel like it would be good for you try it out.

Idk what to say about ur identity issues or whatever. But if you ever feeling trapped in life, you're just in your head. As long as you are motivated and your brain is good you can do anything.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2022, 12:07:14 PM by in love w/ fs shuvs »

in love w/ fs shuvs

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #242 on: March 22, 2022, 01:39:01 AM »
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2022, 01:57:08 AM by in love w/ fs shuvs »

PuffinMuffin

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #243 on: March 22, 2022, 09:25:34 AM »
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.

Ha, yeah. I heard it qouted as:

"kind of a bummer to have been born at the very end of the Fuck Around century just to live the rest of my life in the Find Out century"

I'm never going to own a house or have kids (not from lack of trying, and adoption is way too expensive). Simply can't afford it, and we're in the lower middle class. I don't know how everyone else is getting by. The economy is so brutal, somethings gotta give.
i’m 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #244 on: March 22, 2022, 03:42:46 PM »
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.

I had no concept of a future until I was 30 and even then it was vague. Got a degree in my late 20s, but prior to that I worked like a motherfucker at low paying jobs and got fucked up all the time kinda because there was no idea of a future and when it came up, there was nothing, so the cycle continued. I stopped skating and playing guitar during my 20s. Those were really bad choices that took me til I was 35/36 to get back into.

I've been pretty bare minimum living most of my adult life and always, always hustling to make extra scratch. I don't come from a place where there's anything to be given or gifted to me in a financial or property sort of way, so it's make it work or don't do a damn thing.

I'm saying all this because if you give up on the things you love and enjoy because they're not making you $, you will be more unhappy than if you keep at it. Maybe take a break, but try to not quit. Music and skating have helped me so damn much.

While the world is fuxked up, especially right now, I don't envy folks your age who have grown up with the social media sphere and post 9/11 news world. Can't escape the doom scroll and that takes a toll. Its traumatic to be told we won't succeed or that things were better before and won't get better now. I honor that, homie but life got better for me after 24.. Shit at 24, I had so much dread and hopelessness that in tried to join the Navy. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher and social worker/counselor, and I tried to go in the military because the world seemed so fucked up. Shits real, trying to keep up. I can't keep up. Can't keep up. Can't keep up. Out of step!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx6_wrFZcu0

Real talk, there's times when I question my path and wish I had that govt health insurance or was making a good salary instead of finishing grad school and making $19/hr at 36, but all the people, most of em that I knew who didn't follow their heart but make the big bucks and have a big house, man, they're not living.

You got this.
If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind

lemonchicken91

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #245 on: March 25, 2022, 07:40:09 AM »
Expand Quote
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.
[close]

I had no concept of a future until I was 30 and even then it was vague. Got a degree in my late 20s, but prior to that I worked like a motherfucker at low paying jobs and got fucked up all the time kinda because there was no idea of a future and when it came up, there was nothing, so the cycle continued. I stopped skating and playing guitar during my 20s. Those were really bad choices that took me til I was 35/36 to get back into.

I've been pretty bare minimum living most of my adult life and always, always hustling to make extra scratch. I don't come from a place where there's anything to be given or gifted to me in a financial or property sort of way, so it's make it work or don't do a damn thing.

I'm saying all this because if you give up on the things you love and enjoy because they're not making you $, you will be more unhappy than if you keep at it. Maybe take a break, but try to not quit. Music and skating have helped me so damn much.

While the world is fuxked up, especially right now, I don't envy folks your age who have grown up with the social media sphere and post 9/11 news world. Can't escape the doom scroll and that takes a toll. Its traumatic to be told we won't succeed or that things were better before and won't get better now. I honor that, homie but life got better for me after 24.. Shit at 24, I had so much dread and hopelessness that in tried to join the Navy. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher and social worker/counselor, and I tried to go in the military because the world seemed so fucked up. Shits real, trying to keep up. I can't keep up. Can't keep up. Can't keep up. Out of step!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx6_wrFZcu0

Real talk, there's times when I question my path and wish I had that govt health insurance or was making a good salary instead of finishing grad school and making $19/hr at 36, but all the people, most of em that I knew who didn't follow their heart but make the big bucks and have a big house, man, they're not living.

You got this.

as someone who is trying to get back into my hobbies at 30 I feel this post.

I never quit but I barely skated, made art, surfed since I got my first "big boy" job for 19 an hour... whats the point if I cant enjoy life. Plus im making a whopping 39k a year and am broker than ever. treadmill dang ole
no, i live in an efficiency by myself and work in middle management like you, loser

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #246 on: March 25, 2022, 09:27:48 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.
[close]

I had no concept of a future until I was 30 and even then it was vague. Got a degree in my late 20s, but prior to that I worked like a motherfucker at low paying jobs and got fucked up all the time kinda because there was no idea of a future and when it came up, there was nothing, so the cycle continued. I stopped skating and playing guitar during my 20s. Those were really bad choices that took me til I was 35/36 to get back into.

I've been pretty bare minimum living most of my adult life and always, always hustling to make extra scratch. I don't come from a place where there's anything to be given or gifted to me in a financial or property sort of way, so it's make it work or don't do a damn thing.

I'm saying all this because if you give up on the things you love and enjoy because they're not making you $, you will be more unhappy than if you keep at it. Maybe take a break, but try to not quit. Music and skating have helped me so damn much.

While the world is fuxked up, especially right now, I don't envy folks your age who have grown up with the social media sphere and post 9/11 news world. Can't escape the doom scroll and that takes a toll. Its traumatic to be told we won't succeed or that things were better before and won't get better now. I honor that, homie but life got better for me after 24.. Shit at 24, I had so much dread and hopelessness that in tried to join the Navy. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher and social worker/counselor, and I tried to go in the military because the world seemed so fucked up. Shits real, trying to keep up. I can't keep up. Can't keep up. Can't keep up. Out of step!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx6_wrFZcu0

Real talk, there's times when I question my path and wish I had that govt health insurance or was making a good salary instead of finishing grad school and making $19/hr at 36, but all the people, most of em that I knew who didn't follow their heart but make the big bucks and have a big house, man, they're not living.

You got this.
[close]

as someone who is trying to get back into my hobbies at 30 I feel this post.

I never quit but I barely skated, made art, surfed since I got my first "big boy" job for 19 an hour... whats the point if I cant enjoy life. Plus im making a whopping 39k a year and am broker than ever. treadmill dang ole

Exactly, man. We gotta feed the soul. I try to figure out ways to go to a job as little as possible so that I'm not glued to the grind like my old man. Then I see rich old people who have these high paying gigs, 6 figures plus, who work until 65+. They got nice shit and fat houses but I don't know what they're doing. If I was a money making dude id be stoked to save 500k or even less, but 500 is a nice #, buy a property with a rental unit on it and rent that shit out to pay the taxes.

I have a friend who did that, but w less saved, like nothing saved, but has DIYed his way and its taken him 15 years and there arent crazy extras, but he doesn't have to work for anyone and with all the skills he has developed (Learning solar, construction, mechanics, etc) he fixes his owns shit and can contract himself out to a few bigger jobs per year and be good. That's the attainable dream.

But what I also don't get, I mean I get the social brainwash, but people needing to go to a job for a "sense of purpose." My old man is like "I don't know what I'll do when I retire," and I'm like "dude, what did you do when you were growing up? What do you do on the weekend?" Dude never takes vacation, so that's a non question, but man, fuck going to a job. I got a cool job right now and I'm finishing this masters degree. All my classmates are rushing to find a shitty job and I'm like not. I'm not gonna kill myself to make a paycheck again. I'm good with rice lentils and black coffee =)

Glad you are still skating, surfing, and making art, even a little bit.
If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind

shpongle

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #247 on: March 28, 2022, 09:17:59 PM »
Expand Quote
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.
[close]

I had no concept of a future until I was 30 and even then it was vague. Got a degree in my late 20s, but prior to that I worked like a motherfucker at low paying jobs and got fucked up all the time kinda because there was no idea of a future and when it came up, there was nothing, so the cycle continued. I stopped skating and playing guitar during my 20s. Those were really bad choices that took me til I was 35/36 to get back into.

I've been pretty bare minimum living most of my adult life and always, always hustling to make extra scratch. I don't come from a place where there's anything to be given or gifted to me in a financial or property sort of way, so it's make it work or don't do a damn thing.

I'm saying all this because if you give up on the things you love and enjoy because they're not making you $, you will be more unhappy than if you keep at it. Maybe take a break, but try to not quit. Music and skating have helped me so damn much.

While the world is fuxked up, especially right now, I don't envy folks your age who have grown up with the social media sphere and post 9/11 news world. Can't escape the doom scroll and that takes a toll. Its traumatic to be told we won't succeed or that things were better before and won't get better now. I honor that, homie but life got better for me after 24.. Shit at 24, I had so much dread and hopelessness that in tried to join the Navy. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher and social worker/counselor, and I tried to go in the military because the world seemed so fucked up. Shits real, trying to keep up. I can't keep up. Can't keep up. Can't keep up. Out of step!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx6_wrFZcu0

Real talk, there's times when I question my path and wish I had that govt health insurance or was making a good salary instead of finishing grad school and making $19/hr at 36, but all the people, most of em that I knew who didn't follow their heart but make the big bucks and have a big house, man, they're not living.

You got this.

Damn. Your personal stories and words always end up making me feel uplifted. I also feel like everything's going to be alright. Thank you for sharing your Light brother.

Frank

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #248 on: March 29, 2022, 12:20:15 AM »
Anyone else having trouble adjusting to adulthood? I'm 24 soon to be 25 and the reality that people are basically fighting each other over money to survive has just sunk in. Kinda embarassing how late i realized that. I was in school and doing internships so i was too busy to actually notice until now.

I just be looking at house prices, inflation, and looming issues and it just all seems sort of fucked.

It feels so weird to do anything for fun; like skate and play guitar. I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and play songs just for enjoyments sake. Now it just kinda feels like I'm wasting my time since i don't really want to be sponsored or write my own music.

I just see young people around me like slinging properties as realtors, working 60 hr weeks, commuting to jobs, selling themselves on only fans and it's like damn wtf am i doing?

I'll get strong migraines every once in a while just thinking about that shit. Maybe that's just life i suppose. Maybe i need an ssri subscription. Everything is just so weird.

absolutely.

i'm at the tail end of my 30s now and other than finishing school i basically have zero traditional milestones under my belt. at this point starting a family is highly unlikely. even having a life partner seems highly unlikely. i don't even know if i want one. i have worked a couple of cool and interesting jobs and also had positions of responsibility, but that doesn't count for much where i live. where i live you are supposed to finish an apprenticeship while still living with your parents or finish studying in your early 20s. i always lacked money to focus on studying. it was always a money problem for me, i had to work too much on the side for rent, had no access to government funds and it was important to cut any material support from my parents when i moved out because that would always end up straining our relationship. i have a low sense of self worth resulting from how my parents brought me up. they were kind of negative and dismissive cause they thought that was better than positive reinforcement. they were not the motivational type... so i never learned to negotiate my way up. i basically change jobs every few years and then work my way up from the bottom because i have no idea how to sell myself. my friends have families, two of my school buds are actual millionaires, while i owe my bank a couple thousand because i got mad depressed during covid and maxed out all my credit within a few months where i wasn't able to work, just by ignoring the fact that i'm basically pummeling myself into bankruptcy. i was always dirt poor and whenever i have money i end up buying all the shit i needed the whole time and end up zero summed again.

look, you have more than ten years ahead to do way better at my age than i do now. and i still feel like i have it pretty ok. because while i'm sort of poor, i'm not really starving, and luckily, because i live in a welfare state, if i get too sick or poor there's still ways so i can keep my housing.

and then apart from financial or material aspects, there's my theory that you become an adult when your reflex to identifying a problem isn't mainly emotional anymore, but rather analytical. like being afraid of the dark as a child because of fear of the unknown vs caution in the dark as an adult, not because there's monsters, but because you can't see shit and don't want to hurt yourself. you change irrational fears and concerns against problem solving. imo you have become an adult when your brain mainly works in problem solving mode. that is still very hard for me as i often react to problems way too emotional still to the point where i have to check out for a while before i can get my shit together and get to the problem analysis.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #249 on: March 29, 2022, 11:14:52 AM »
@shpongle

Yo brother! Holler at me. Miss our conversations. Hope the beast coast is doing u alright
If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #250 on: March 30, 2022, 06:10:24 AM »
Been a while since I visited this thread, don't really expect or require much response just wanted a vaguely anonymous place to say how I feel.


Me and my gf aren't seeing each other ATM, we aren't seeing anyone else either so I am almost dealing with this okay, but everything else in the world is kind of a bummer. My mum and brother are both struggling with their mental health because of my dad leaving (I am 18 just FYI) I don't really care about him leaving but my mum and brother being hurt by it puts pressure on me lol. My dad is generally not that bad but his head is shot from drug use in his 20s so sometimes he isn't the greatest.


I just got a new car that I love but had to drive around for a week without tax or insurance on it which sucked a lot of the enjoyment out, I don't deal with breaking rules very well lol. It is also running on worn tyres so I need to get new ones which is putting a bit of financial strain on me, I really shouldn't have got the car but my old one is literally cursed and I justified the purchase.


Work fucking blows, I am bored, don't have enough to do, have nothing in common with the people I work with and shit. I drink 2-3 tins of monster a day just so time moves faster, which means I can't sleep and it makes me feel super emotional during, and super fucking bummed after.


I can't really skate much due to working hours and my mood and the fact I am fucking terrible at it. Not really a scene up here and I'm sure I wouldn't fit in anyway. It's a shame because I love the whole scene and I do love skating and trying to do shit, but I just get bummed that I suck and probs won't improve for a variety of reasons.


All of this has led me to be really grumpy, which means I am mean to my gf who has been nothing but good to me and is my favourite thing in the world.


IDK I'm just in a rut and will probably delete this later lol.


My bad if this is the wrong place or whatever,


T4T

schoolteachers can get paid $100k when they get a collab with dragonball

FatGuy92

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #251 on: April 11, 2022, 08:24:30 PM »
I relapsed recently and I feel like a huge piece of shit. This is my umpteenth time trying to stay clean. Any pals have experience here? I’m working on identifying triggers and it seems like for me it’s work stress > booze > coke bender. I was doing alright for awhile but I got hurt and haven’t been able to skate so it’s just me alone with my feelings as of late

Feelings of depression and anxiety have been overwhelming and they don’t go away until I’m fucked up on something

beandemon

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #252 on: April 12, 2022, 08:28:27 AM »
I relapsed recently and I feel like a huge piece of shit. This is my umpteenth time trying to stay clean. Any pals have experience here? I’m working on identifying triggers and it seems like for me it’s work stress > booze > coke bender. I was doing alright for awhile but I got hurt and haven’t been able to skate so it’s just me alone with my feelings as of late

Feelings of depression and anxiety have been overwhelming and they don’t go away until I’m fucked up on something

Try not to beat yourself up. Since this is a skate forum, look at it like learning a trick - you make more as you get better at it; it takes a while to get it on lock.
Are you going it alone or are you seeking professional or peer help for substances or depression/anxiety? I’ve benefited from treatment for anxiety and depression and  I know they’re not for everyone, but 12 step groups helped a ton for me.
Good insight seeing that work stress is a trigger. Do you have any resources to reduce that?
I hear you on getting hurt. I started skating a lot when I first got sober. I remember being crushed when I realized I needed to slow down and let some chronic injuries heal. It seems like it’s fairly common to replace one addictive behavior with a less harmful one early on. Is there a low impact activity you can do while healing?  I’m a big believer in walking. And it’s so played out and stale and woo-woo and even corporate at this point, but meditation, too.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #253 on: April 12, 2022, 06:11:36 PM »
I don't know how to put this, but hopefully I can keep it short. My niece takes the same train as the shooting in BK, it was a stop before her, and she was already in school. She is a teenager, but it really struck close to home. I don't know why but it makes me feel better that at least she wasn't younger when this happened...today.

I don't think I can pretend to care about people and the stupid problems they complain about anymore. I'm not running around telling everyone about my niece. Yet some asshat is going yammer on about how they are bent about something that doesn't even matter. I almost lost my niece and it has affected me.

The joblow/gader thing really bothered me too.

WTF is wrong with people? I of course am broken inside myself but fuck man.

I needed to vent, sorry and also thank you.


JANUS

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #254 on: May 08, 2022, 08:25:07 AM »
im 29 and planning on kms soon maybe this year, depending on how things go. i am at the point where ive rationalized to myself that it isnt so tragic, suicide - ive been interested in movements like Death with Dignity and the Right to Die. its a lot of mixed feelings but i feel at peace with the thought of finally getting to bow out on my own terms.

I hope you will consider speaking with a psychiatrist. I can’t speak for what you’re going through, but depression (and other mental illnesses) can really warp one’s perspective. I’m currently struggling with my own. It makes it difficult to acknowledge that there are high points, despite the abysmal lows that feel permanent and unending. I’ve found that therapy, meds, and regular sleep and exercise have helped me a lot. I dunno, my apologies if this isn’t helpful at all.
If you can't handle me at my Marc Johnson, you don't deserve me at my Bobby Puleo.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #255 on: May 09, 2022, 04:34:52 PM »
im 29 and planning on kms soon maybe this year, depending on how things go. i am at the point where ive rationalized to myself that it isnt so tragic, suicide - ive been interested in movements like Death with Dignity and the Right to Die. its a lot of mixed feelings but i feel at peace with the thought of finally getting to bow out on my own terms.

Godspeed. Sending some good energy your way, maybe things will turn around before then. 🌌
« Last Edit: May 11, 2022, 02:55:10 AM by in love w/ fs shuvs »

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #256 on: May 13, 2022, 11:13:05 AM »
Expand Quote
im 29 and planning on kms soon maybe this year, depending on how things go. i am at the point where ive rationalized to myself that it isnt so tragic, suicide - ive been interested in movements like Death with Dignity and the Right to Die. its a lot of mixed feelings but i feel at peace with the thought of finally getting to bow out on my own terms.
[close]
I hope you will consider speaking with a psychiatrist. I can’t speak for what you’re going through, but depression (and other mental illnesses) can really warp one’s perspective. I’m currently struggling with my own. It makes it difficult to acknowledge that there are high points, despite the abysmal lows that feel permanent and unending. I’ve found that therapy, meds, and regular sleep and exercise have helped me a lot. I dunno, my apologies if this isn’t helpful at all.
Double on that. When I get down thought's I dont usually have are right at the forefront. Talk to someone. It's not as hard as it seems trust me.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2022, 01:03:44 AM by 50mm »

JANUS

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #257 on: May 15, 2022, 07:24:31 AM »
I also found it was very encouraging to meet people who were genuinely interested in helping others just for the sake of helping. While I understand it’s their job and they get paid for it, it still made me feel more positively about humanity.
If you can't handle me at my Marc Johnson, you don't deserve me at my Bobby Puleo.

Idk

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #258 on: May 18, 2022, 09:56:30 AM »
im 29 and planning on kms soon maybe this year, depending on how things go. i am at the point where ive rationalized to myself that it isnt so tragic, suicide - ive been interested in movements like Death with Dignity and the Right to Die. its a lot of mixed feelings but i feel at peace with the thought of finally getting to bow out on my own terms.
Before you do this I recommend going out skateboarding if that’s something you still do or if not go paintballing. The chances of getting hurt or hit while doing either activity is pretty high up there so do one of them for a bit like a month. Once you experience physical pain a bit it can make you grateful just to be here and be alive. This is all if your mental health issues don’t stem from a chronic pain issue, if so I’m sorry for that I sympathize. But if what’s going on with you is solely mental then try it out. Getting the body into a little physical stress can sometimes take the mental stress away because the pain is external and happening right now.

Filip

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #259 on: May 27, 2022, 12:32:50 AM »
Hi guys, just wanted to say, keep your head up everyone, you are the best, every single one of you.

I will share my story, even though its not as heavy as most of yours, but I need to get it out and really have nobody to talk to at the moment.

Im 32, soon to be 33. I dated this girl for 8 years, since 21 to 29, and though she was the one. When we broke up 3 years ago, I thought that the world will end. But it didnt, I got through it. Did some bullshit, random girls, then I found another girl, we lived together for a year. I was not feeling it, broke up with her, so I wouldnt hurt her more. I told myself that I will not meet anyone for a while, just focus on my own stuff, skate as much as I can, deal with some family bullshit (my father fucked my brother up with some bullshit, he owes a bunch of people money, so I tried to help with that). After a short while, I met this girl, that Im dating now. I never loved anyone so much. We moved in together, everything was perfect. Totally unexpeced. We have been together for 7 months, never once argued about anything, everything was perfect, she is perfect.

I fucked up. Before we met, I did something Im not proud of (not important), But I used to work for a company that is owned by one of her closest friends (Obviously, I didnt know that, since we didnt know each other when I worked for the company). I since left, but before I left, I did some stupid shit, that Im really ashamed of. I never told her, and her friend(the owner of the company) wasnt aware either. But since then, he found out, and of course it was only right of him to tell her, because he cares for her and wants to protect her from bullshit that I caused and have to deal with now.

I wanted to keep this quiet, just deal with all the shit and leave it behind me, but I should have told her man, I should have told her. I know she would understand, that I had my reasons, and would help to deal with everything.

We are supposed to move to a new apartement,that she bought before we met, but since then, we have been buying all the furniture, dealing with everything that comes with moving to a new place. This moving was planed on the beggining of next month, and she found out about my bullshit last Sunday, so a week before moving.

I fucked everything up, betrayed her trust. I have never been so depressed and felt so down in my life. She is the one, and I need to show her that this shit will never happen again. Her ex lied to her for a long time, so she is not dealing with shit like that lightly, which is only right.

I can see that she still loves me, but has enough self respect to not go through another heart break again. Im such an idiot that I have not told her about everyting a long time ago. I know she would understand.

Right now I dont know what to do, I didnt speak really to anyone for the last week, not at work, not to my friends, to my mum, every night we end up talking about stuff with my girlfriend, and it ends up in both of us crying and not sleeping.

I feel like a biggest piece of shit in the world right now. I need to deal with this somehow, I cant even imagine how I will live without her, she is everything I ever wanted/needed/hoped for in my life, and if she leaves me, I dont know what I will do.

Anyway, sorry for shitty grammar and explaining, this is probably not as serious as some of You guys, but I need to get it out.

Everybody, be safe and go skate, that is the only thing that matters...

fuhkin_powahfood_kid

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #260 on: May 28, 2022, 04:24:39 PM »
Hi guys, just wanted to say, keep your head up everyone, you are the best, every single one of you.

I will share my story, even though its not as heavy as most of yours, but I need to get it out and really have nobody to talk to at the moment.

Im 32, soon to be 33. I dated this girl for 8 years, since 21 to 29, and though she was the one. When we broke up 3 years ago, I thought that the world will end. But it didnt, I got through it. Did some bullshit, random girls, then I found another girl, we lived together for a year. I was not feeling it, broke up with her, so I wouldnt hurt her more. I told myself that I will not meet anyone for a while, just focus on my own stuff, skate as much as I can, deal with some family bullshit (my father fucked my brother up with some bullshit, he owes a bunch of people money, so I tried to help with that). After a short while, I met this girl, that Im dating now. I never loved anyone so much. We moved in together, everything was perfect. Totally unexpeced. We have been together for 7 months, never once argued about anything, everything was perfect, she is perfect.

I fucked up. Before we met, I did something Im not proud of (not important), But I used to work for a company that is owned by one of her closest friends (Obviously, I didnt know that, since we didnt know each other when I worked for the company). I since left, but before I left, I did some stupid shit, that Im really ashamed of. I never told her, and her friend(the owner of the company) wasnt aware either. But since then, he found out, and of course it was only right of him to tell her, because he cares for her and wants to protect her from bullshit that I caused and have to deal with now.

I wanted to keep this quiet, just deal with all the shit and leave it behind me, but I should have told her man, I should have told her. I know she would understand, that I had my reasons, and would help to deal with everything.

We are supposed to move to a new apartement,that she bought before we met, but since then, we have been buying all the furniture, dealing with everything that comes with moving to a new place. This moving was planed on the beggining of next month, and she found out about my bullshit last Sunday, so a week before moving.

I fucked everything up, betrayed her trust. I have never been so depressed and felt so down in my life. She is the one, and I need to show her that this shit will never happen again. Her ex lied to her for a long time, so she is not dealing with shit like that lightly, which is only right.

I can see that she still loves me, but has enough self respect to not go through another heart break again. Im such an idiot that I have not told her about everyting a long time ago. I know she would understand.

Right now I dont know what to do, I didnt speak really to anyone for the last week, not at work, not to my friends, to my mum, every night we end up talking about stuff with my girlfriend, and it ends up in both of us crying and not sleeping.

I feel like a biggest piece of shit in the world right now. I need to deal with this somehow, I cant even imagine how I will live without her, she is everything I ever wanted/needed/hoped for in my life, and if she leaves me, I dont know what I will do.

Anyway, sorry for shitty grammar and explaining, this is probably not as serious as some of You guys, but I need to get it out.

Everybody, be safe and go skate, that is the only thing that matters...

man, if she's the one and will love you for you, explain what you did and why you did it. Like what brought you to that point. If you physically harmed someone, that's a bad thing, but like, if your former boss fucked you over and you did something retaliatory, that's the nature of capitalism. What happens at work, like unless you're taking care of living creatures, isn't indicative of who you are as a human being.

and like, this dude, your former boss telling work things to your girlfriend, again unless this was some really egregious physical damage to a living being shit, sounds pretty lame to me. I was eating breakfast this morning and listening to some dude younger than me talk about his "LLC" and the people who work for him as well as the customers and he was such an entitled asshole. Not saying that's everyone who owns a "company" but too often "bosses" and "companies" push people to their wits end.

Might be helpful to share here what went down and we can help you justify it if needed.
If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind

in love w/ fs shuvs

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #261 on: May 28, 2022, 04:37:19 PM »
@Filip, sorry to hear that man. Here's to you turning things around in the near future.

--

Been feeling mad stressed about another year going by and not having a career I'm okay with set-up. Shit stinks. Feels like I'm totally blowing it. I'm at the point where i literally can't sleep unless the lights are on or i panic. Been trying to meditate, eat healthy, and gym but it's still pretty hard. I think maybe recent events have me kinda on edge too.

I think i might take a vacay to do some soul searching.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2022, 08:31:07 PM by in love w/ fs shuvs »

lilboosie

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #262 on: June 02, 2022, 10:00:12 AM »
tomorrow will be 2 weeks since i had a mental breakdown.

i havent been skating because i just am not there mentally. i try and get out there but my mind is elsewhere. i started not self medicating and reading to practice focusing and being present. so far its working. im getting stoaked again and about to get a new deck.

ive already been mentally hospitalized twice this year. one was not by choice, thanks police.....

no help is offered there either. its like a drunk tank but for your mental state. you just have to fake it to get the fuck out of there. fights seem to be pretty regular there whether its patient on patient on nurse. and the only thing to do is watch tv. thats it. no windows either. having to watch nick cannons talk show in the mornings honestly deteriorated my mental health.

hopefully this momentum sticks. im aware stuff will get hard again, just have to remind myself to try.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #263 on: June 03, 2022, 04:08:39 AM »
tomorrow will be 2 weeks since i had a mental breakdown.

i havent been skating because i just am not there mentally. i try and get out there but my mind is elsewhere. i started not self medicating and reading to practice focusing and being present. so far its working. im getting stoaked again and about to get a new deck.

ive already been mentally hospitalized twice this year. one was not by choice, thanks police.....

no help is offered there either. its like a drunk tank but for your mental state. you just have to fake it to get the fuck out of there. fights seem to be pretty regular there whether its patient on patient on nurse. and the only thing to do is watch tv. thats it. no windows either. having to watch nick cannons talk show in the mornings honestly deteriorated my mental health.

hopefully this momentum sticks. im aware stuff will get hard again, just have to remind myself to try.
i'm sorry you had to go through this. hope you'll stay free and keep your shit together. i know it's hard. i'm also struggling.

lilboosie

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #264 on: June 03, 2022, 10:05:47 AM »
thanks!! definitely celebrating today.

if i reach a month without one i will be so stoked. thats the new goal

Candied cigarettes

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #265 on: June 03, 2022, 03:10:42 PM »
Here to just vent since I’m just feeling inadequate and frankly alone right now and just want to vent anonymously..

My job is extremely challenging and busy, and this week has been particularly hard. For everything I’ve done well, there’s been something relatively small that has just taken me out and made me feel totally inadequate. As much as I try to separate work from life, I can’t help but letting the stress carry over. I started smoking cigs again because I haven’t been able to find weed and it’s the only thing I can do that gives me some kind of pause. I want to just skate and forget about it, but when I’m just taking constant hits to my confidence it’s really hard to do anything challenging.

I came out through the Bay Area last week and I’ll be here through June but have zero motivation to go out and meet other skaters. Usually when I get like this I flee to my sisters house, but that’s just not an option right now. I’m not looking for advice or sympathy, I’m just here to say that I just feel stuck and alone and it fucking sucks
« Last Edit: June 03, 2022, 03:20:19 PM by Candied cigarettes »

lilboosie

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #266 on: June 05, 2022, 07:40:05 AM »
Here to just vent since I’m just feeling inadequate and frankly alone right now and just want to vent anonymously..

My job is extremely challenging and busy, and this week has been particularly hard. For everything I’ve done well, there’s been something relatively small that has just taken me out and made me feel totally inadequate. As much as I try to separate work from life, I can’t help but letting the stress carry over. I started smoking cigs again because I haven’t been able to find weed and it’s the only thing I can do that gives me some kind of pause. I want to just skate and forget about it, but when I’m just taking constant hits to my confidence it’s really hard to do anything challenging.

I came out through the Bay Area last week and I’ll be here through June but have zero motivation to go out and meet other skaters. Usually when I get like this I flee to my sisters house, but that’s just not an option right now. I’m not looking for advice or sympathy, I’m just here to say that I just feel stuck and alone and it fucking sucks

Damn I'm sorry to hear this. I'm in the east bay and down to roll around if you want !

Candied cigarettes

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #267 on: June 06, 2022, 05:31:13 PM »
Expand Quote
Here to just vent since I’m just feeling inadequate and frankly alone right now and just want to vent anonymously..

My job is extremely challenging and busy, and this week has been particularly hard. For everything I’ve done well, there’s been something relatively small that has just taken me out and made me feel totally inadequate. As much as I try to separate work from life, I can’t help but letting the stress carry over. I started smoking cigs again because I haven’t been able to find weed and it’s the only thing I can do that gives me some kind of pause. I want to just skate and forget about it, but when I’m just taking constant hits to my confidence it’s really hard to do anything challenging.

I came out through the Bay Area last week and I’ll be here through June but have zero motivation to go out and meet other skaters. Usually when I get like this I flee to my sisters house, but that’s just not an option right now. I’m not looking for advice or sympathy, I’m just here to say that I just feel stuck and alone and it fucking sucks
[close]

Damn I'm sorry to hear this. I'm in the east bay and down to roll around if you want !

Thanks dawg I’ll PM you!

LordManHammer

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #268 on: June 07, 2022, 12:54:59 PM »
My roommate I think is going through a mental health crisis and I’m trying to make it right however I think it’ll make it worse.

She quit vaping, I recently had to tell her we’ve got to pump the brake’s on “us”, she’s been recently switched meds instead of extended release Wellbutrin is is now standard release.

I’m trying not to be a fixer or be Johnny on the spot, however I do worry about her mental health.

Anything I could say to give her reassurance?
Dueces Bitch's

lamfordie

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #269 on: June 07, 2022, 06:57:35 PM »
My fiance just got back from Portland and she was raving how much she loved it and showed me a bunch of homes that we could afford. I know she is still riding off that high of the city but the idea of moving out there got me anxious. If we decided to move out there it would be difficult for me cuz I will be leaving my mom and family behind. Also I don't really have friends to hang out with let alone skate with and to move to a new city and state I don't know if I would ever gain new friends.