Weird Stories About Pros

[toe_knee]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

the 90's sucked.

[close]

Personally, I miss wearing JNCOs getting called "f*gg*t" multiple times a day.

On the real though, we are always friends with rollerbladers in the 90s. Fellow "losers". Also, none of us could afford real JNCOs and wore Paco instead (which also had the benefit of tapered leg openings).

[close]

You didn’t spring for the Lee Pipes instead?

[close]

Didn't even know those were a thing. We all wore the Pacos because they always had them at Value City (discount/irregular clothing store chain) for cheap and the logos were all kind of meant to look like Polo from a distance.

Damn, paco jeans….that brings back some memories, yea wore those exclusively, I remember liking the back pocket patch thing, yea good taper on them. They were sick from what I can remember

[Red Eyed Swimmer]

Expand Quote

Embarcadero, Summer 1993

It's before noon but still an unusually slow day at the plaza when three rollerbladers suddenly appear and start doing whatever it is rollerbladers do. They're not coming close to where a few heads are gathered and sitting around on the little 3, but also aren't shying away from doing their thing where people are skating. A few insults are hurled in their direction from the people sitting down, but nothing that really gets their attention. I skate by the little 3 and get the sense that the hostility from the few EMB guys sitting there is starting to get serious, and it's pretty clear that while the rollerbladers have no doubt taken shit off skaters elsewhere, they aren't aware of how badly their day might go here if they don't move along.

I approach the oldest of the 3, who has a couple years on me. Tell him as diplomatically as possible that this is the kind of place where if people want you to leave, you'd be wise to do so, and that right now, people want him and his friends (younger brothers, it turns out) to leave. All I get is attitude. "Psh. I'm not fuckin' leaving" and he rolls away. As I watch him do so, it occurs to me that they really do look fucking stupid. Fine.

A few minutes pass with nothing really happening when the oldest one suddenly pulls a candle out of his backpack and, as rollerbladers tend(ed) to do, proceeds trying to pile on a thick layer of wax on the really blunted C-block (the one opposite the little 3 that a lot of people also did manual stuff on). Couple things about that:

- As anyone who skated there knows, the Embarcadero blocks had probably been waxed at some point, but nobody waxed them now. It wasn't done. Certainly not by bridge and tunnel dorks like my friends and me, and definitely not by rollerbladers. They didn't really need to be waxed anyway, but I don't think most people outside the EMB crew would squawk if someone were to run a candle over them once.

- Excluding obvious world ass famous landmarks like the Great Wall of China or whatever, this dude couldn't have known that he was fouling up what at that time may have been the most famous, stupid ledge in the world.

All hell breaks loose and what seemed like a relatively slow day at Embarcadero is now bearing witness to every kid in the place rushing these rollerbladers. Just like that, the 3 are surrounded by probably 12 dudes. I'm standing off to the side with some other people who don't want to get involved, and I can see from the oldest rollerblader's face that he has definitely lost his fuck you attitude now. He's getting shoved in every direction before a fist is thrown and his head jolts back and back up with blood running out of his nose. He looks fucking terrified.

This is straight out of some stupid melodramatic script, but it's true that just at that moment, Kelch shows up. He doesn't have a board but he's bleeding from the elbow. His shirt is filthy and his pants look like the ass has fallen out. His eyes are sunken and his hair is a rat's nest. Dude looks like he hasn't slept a wink for the past week but he's cool as a cucumber sauntering down the little 3 toward the fracas.

"What the fuck's going on? What the fuck's going on? Watch out padna. Watch out." 

He's holding a cigarette in one hand and in the other, inexplicably, a roll of duct tape, and the blood running down his forearm has dribbled a little onto it. I can't be the only one wondering just what the fuck is going to go down here.

Kelch makes his way through the little mob and gets up into the oldest rollerblader's face, sort of looks him up and down and breaks the tension by telling him he looks like he just got his ass beat. People laugh. The rollerbladers don't laugh. Kelch tells him he's probably about to get his ass beat if he doesn't leave and stay gone. One of the skaters wants blood and says so. Kelch says something about fighting a dude with wheels on his feet a pussy move. The rollerbladers leave. So Kelch 86'd some dudes but also saved their asses in the process.

TL;DR: Kelch shows up to Embarcadero looking like the white version of Bubbles from the Wire and saves the lives of a trio of rollerbladers.

[close]

This is one of the lamest things I've ever heard about. I wasn't skating in the 90's but all I hear about is how they were the complete losers of society and constantly got bullied and beaten up, while simultaneously hanging around in gangs bullying other skaters for not being as 'cool' as them. Sounds like a huge irony. Was it just projection to give themselves a chance to feel like the tough guys for once, rather than the geeks who got laughed at and shoved around for wearing 44 inch purple jeans? When I started skating it was right on the tail end of skaters getting bullied / threatened by tough guy types but all the gang hierarchy bullshit seemed to have disappeared by then.

Sounds like we got lucky that you got in when you did - any earlier and you would not have made it through the gate.

[SSBSTRS]

Expand Quote

I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.

Damn bro, really cracked the case wide open there, eh?

[Hastings]

I'm not sure how I haven't dipped into this thread before, but this is gold. Thanks for the tears of laughter today, wish I could gnar you all.

I have nothing to add of real worth but I can add a little more to the Bill Danforth theme. Back in the day we had the best vert ramp in the country, there was only a handful anyway. There was a rumour the man himself might be making an appearance. Bill turns up gets out of a Trans am (we had only ever seen such a car on TV), looks at the ramp and says hes not skating this shit, got back into said Trans am and drives off. From that day onwards he became my least favourite mongo pushing skater.

*this was a long time ago and said events may be different from actual events.

[Pete]

Hahah nah danforth is sick for that. Based on previous stories in this thread, Danforth was super into smoking crack under vert ramps. You guys prolly just didn’t look like the type to have any yourselves or even like you could point him in the right direction.


Free max b

[Mariners village]

This isn't that weird of a story but I went to a depressing Fallen demo in 2015 right before they went out of business.

It was Sandoval, Burman, Cervantes, Slash, and The Chief. From the moment I arrived there was a really dull atmosphere and nobody looked particularly happy to be there. It was also in a skateshop parking lot which only contained like 4 weathered, warped ramps so I don't blame them. Most of the team only skated like 30 minutes, went to get burritos then sat on the van the rest of the time. In retrospect it seemed like they knew Fallens days were numbered. But Jamie kept skating for about another hour, mostly trying a feeble on a curved bench which he eventually landed.

A few weeks later the Vans team did a demo in the same parking lot and the vibe could not have been more different. TNT, Chima, Elijah, Dan Lu, Crockett riding high off the Propeller video success. They had a big ass sweet tour van and there was great energy with the riders and crowd.

Such a weird contrast that gave me a small glimpse at the difference between a thriving program and one that's on its way out.

[Fuckfaceunstoppable]

Tom Asta and Nick Merlino were beefing back in the day. I can’t remember specifically why but if you watch Nicks Don’t sleep on the east part, he directly one ups Tom Astas part from HW2 at multiple spots - with multiple tricks.

[Pete]

Yeah that’s probably true. He also broke down into tears fully crying with snot all over his face, because he couldn’t do some like at Girard big 3 (rip to that whole school) in like 2006. Shit was weird.

That dude was so close to being on baker for real that they brought him on those filming trips to Australia and shit for whatever video. Baker deathwish or bake and destroy. Whichever one had that fucking mental Baca ride on grind. They had been bringing him around and he still managed to fuck it up.

So funny that he’s got jesus cock down his throat rn. If that’s your thing, right on. But the second you get preachy to people that don’t care. Nah.


Gonna have to blame Andrew Langos laptop on this whole shit smh




Free max b



Free max b

[Bread-Roll]

Doesn't really belong here but had a dream where I met heath kirchart at a party and he said he was "looking for someone chill to skate with" when I offered and suggested we exchange details he said "look I would give you my number but it would be a fake" and walked off.

[somefucker]

Yeah that’s probably true. He also broke down into tears fully crying with snot all over his face, because he couldn’t do some like at Girard big 3 (rip to that whole school) in like 2006. Shit was weird.

That dude was so close to being on baker for real that they brought him on those filming trips to Australia and shit for whatever video. Baker deathwish or bake and destroy. Whichever one had that fucking mental Baca ride on grind. They had been bringing him around and he still managed to fuck it up.

So funny that he’s got jesus cock down his throat rn. If that’s your thing, right on. But the second you get preachy to people that don’t care. Nah.


Gonna have to blame Andrew Langos laptop on this whole shit smh




Free max b



Free max b

i remember that whole shit with nick and andrew about the laptop, what was the point again? didn't the laptop just get returned after some words were exchanged and some dumb drama?

[work_lurker]

Auby Taylor came to orlando for a vert contest thing and fell in love with a 18 year old girl and lived here with her for a month until girl realized he was manipulative and crazy and he had a meltdown when she broke up with him...

Auby Taylor used to hit my ex (not at the time) up all the time on insta, and then when her and I broke up I randomly saw him at a skatepark with a few of his friends. One of his homies hung up in a bowl and went straight to the back of his head and started seizing and foaming at the mouth, shit was wild! Auby and another guy rushed in to the flat bottom to start picking homies head up and moving him around and basically doing everything you shouldn't do in that situation. I was taking a "sports medicine and recovery" class a the time and just learned about head injuries being no fucking joke. Dude could have had an aneurysm and died in front of us all.

I call the paramedics and while somebody else yells "CALL THE PARAMEDICS," and when Auby hears this he looks around and see's me and screams "Don't call the fucking ambulance! He can't afford that shit!!!" and I'm just like, "what?" and the dispatchers asking me where this happened while Auby's screaming at me to hang up the phone. After relaying enough information to the dispatcher I said "His friends are saying he doesn't need an ambulance, they're going to drive him" or something along those lines. Thank god the dispatcher had a brain and not 2 minutes later a full team of first responders were at the park and in the bowl stabilizing his neck, checking vitals, load him up onto a stretcher and bounce. The bowl was maybe 7ft in the shallow end and it took like 4 or 5 guys to get him out, no way 2 guys were gonna do it alone. The dude did not stir one bit after seizing, he was out. I get Auby was "looking out" for his friend, but letting your friend die in front of you is pretty fucking wack. I'd rather have a friend starting a Gofund me to cover his medical expenses instead of MAKING a gofundme to help cover funeral costs for the friend.

Shortly after this happened is actually when he moved to Texas oddly enough, I remember him posting about being out there and thinking "Thank god I never have to see that kook again"

[Billy Bitchcakes]

Imagine dying because your friend is worried about you getting billed to use an ambulance. America is fucked up

[shouldn't]

Imagine dying because your friend is worried about you getting billed to use an ambulance. America is fucked up

i think auby is the one that’s fucked up. actually, i can attest to it. dude is a piece of shit and has done a lot more to prove it than just this. i don’t think any of us would avoid calling the cops and move our friends head around who just knocked themselves the fuck out from falling 8+ feet straight onto their head, just to help them avoid a hospital bill. just like he said, start a go fund me, fuck it. better than letting your friend fucking die? yeah it sucks we don’t have health insurance here but, you’re a fucking moron and a cheapskate if you’re going to risk letting someone die to avoid potentially fucking up their credit...? that’s fucking insanely white trash mentality.

[Loady McGee]

Doesn't really belong here but had a dream where I met heath kirchart at a party and he said he was "looking for someone chill to skate with" when I offered and suggested we exchange details he said "look I would give you my number but it would be a fake" and walked off.

Another great Heath story. I don't even care if it was just a dream. This has probably happened to someone in reality sometime, somewhere, when meeting Heath.

[WavyDavy]

Damn, that auby story is really something else after reading his interview about mental health
https://web.archive.org/web/20200424224224/https://www.thepredatorybird.com/why-so-sad-a-conversation-with-auby-taylor/

[$$LESH]

was at the res in ybor during tampa am like 6 years ago with my ex girlfriend. we were talking to auby and i went to go piss. right before i reach the bathroom i just hear people yelling and turned around to see her knocking him the fuck out. i guess he tried to kiss her. shit was so wack but really funny now

[augustmoon]

Anyone else notice he recently cut his hair and beard, is wearing normal clothes, and in Cali skating street again?  This is after a couple of months of weird erratic posts about doing heroin and being depressed.  Wonder what’s going on with that guy. 

[work_lurker]

Anyone else notice he recently cut his hair and beard, is wearing normal clothes, and in Cali skating street again?  This is after a couple of months of weird erratic posts about doing heroin and being depressed.  Wonder what’s going on with that guy.

Crazy, had no idea but see he's posting clips at the same park the story above happened at. Bummer. Also looks like he got a job at Taco Bell and is #GRATEFUL

[LordManHammer]

I remember a time or two at 2nd nature Freddy showed up with a buddy of mine and blew through a few 8 balls lol.

I partook but I’m the exact opposite of what uppers do, I can read a book cook a meal for a few and keep composure.

[LegoPimpCup]

2004- maybe 2005? Toy Machine team is doing a tour and do a demo stop in Langhorne, PA for the old skate shop G Spot (Chris Cole and Tom Asta's first sponsor). Toy team is ripping, this is peak Billy Marks era, Josh Harmony, Trapasso, Austin Stephens. Whole team except Ed and The Butcher was there. Cole was there with his Hot Wax dudes just chilling and watching, Tom was like a little kid then but still a ripper.

Anyway, standard demo shit- dudes rip for like an hour, then autograph signing, kind of devolves into mayhem with all the local groms just rushing the spot- it was just a basketball court with just a bunch of wooden/skatelite ramps and shit brought in. Just way too nuts per usual demo nonsense.

Anyway the team is giving out hella product and Johnny Layton takes a deck and just throws it in the air, it comes flying down and smacks an unaware Matt Bennett in the back of the dome, Billy and Matt immediately freak out on J Lay who turns like bright red, then purple and sulks off to the van. I wait a few minutes and ask Billy for his autograph on my copy of Good and Evil (had them all sign it, I know kms) and was like "dude that was tense" and Billy was like "Johnny has been a dick this whole tour..." I was like, "yeah sorry dude good luck".

I look over in the van and Johnny is like just sitting there staring blankly at nothing, probably wondering about his life choices. He got the ender part in Suffer the Joy tho

[funeral_tuxedo]

Imagine dying because your friend is worried about you getting billed to use an ambulance. America is fucked up

I'm in NYC and last month I was at home and had an accident. I knocked myself out and came too on my floor covered with second degree burns from boiling water. I couldn't get anyone on my insurance or MAS transport to sign off on ambulance insurance when I called to get help. Luckily the operator at 911 calmly talked some sense into me because it still took hours to get to the ambulance. I was incredibly lucky that I got to a good burn clinic, because of course the same insurance transport service never got me my scheduled trip home. I was tripping on all the medical expense and debt s and took the train home trying not to pass out from pain. It was fucked.

[RichardBarkley]

Expand Quote

Imagine dying because your friend is worried about you getting billed to use an ambulance. America is fucked up

[close]

I'm in NYC and last month I was at home and had an accident. I knocked myself out and came too on my floor covered with second degree burns from boiling water. I couldn't get anyone on my insurance or MAS transport to sign off on ambulance insurance when I called to get help. Luckily the operator at 911 calmly talked some sense into me because it still took hours to get to the ambulance. I was incredibly lucky that I got to a good burn clinic, because of course the same insurance transport service never got me my scheduled trip home. I was tripping on all the medical expense and debt s and took the train home trying not to pass out from pain. It was fucked.

Sorry to hear that dude. How are you now?

[funeral_tuxedo]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Imagine dying because your friend is worried about you getting billed to use an ambulance. America is fucked up

[close]

I'm in NYC and last month I was at home and had an accident. I knocked myself out and came too on my floor covered with second degree burns from boiling water. I couldn't get anyone on my insurance or MAS transport to sign off on ambulance insurance when I called to get help. Luckily the operator at 911 calmly talked some sense into me because it still took hours to get to the ambulance. I was incredibly lucky that I got to a good burn clinic, because of course the same insurance transport service never got me my scheduled trip home. I was tripping on all the medical expense and debt s and took the train home trying not to pass out from pain. It was fucked.

[close]

Sorry to hear that dude. How are you now?

I'm doing ok @RichardBarkley thanks for asking. It was definitely a difficult month, but I'm pretty much healed up and having my last visit with the burn team on Monday. Despite still being pretty shook up, I realize I'm lucky it wasn't much worse and my face/groin didn't get hurt.

[pugmaster]

That is awful @funeral_tuxedo, glad to hear you are on the mend

[Easy Slider]

@funeral_tuxedo  really awful story, that sounds like a nightmare.  As a Western European it always boggles my mind how you guys don‘t have reliable healthcare insurance so that at least emergency stuff is covered in all circumstances, without asking questions or signing malpractice waivers. Anyway glad you are doing better, and wishing you the best.

[funeral_tuxedo]

Embarcadero, Summer 1993

It's before noon but still an unusually slow day at the plaza when three rollerbladers suddenly appear and start doing whatever it is rollerbladers do. They're not coming close to where a few heads are gathered and sitting around on the little 3, but also aren't shying away from doing their thing where people are skating. A few insults are hurled in their direction from the people sitting down, but nothing that really gets their attention. I skate by the little 3 and get the sense that the hostility from the few EMB guys sitting there is starting to get serious, and it's pretty clear that while the rollerbladers have no doubt taken shit off skaters elsewhere, they aren't aware of how badly their day might go here if they don't move along.

I approach the oldest of the 3, who has a couple years on me. Tell him as diplomatically as possible that this is the kind of place where if people want you to leave, you'd be wise to do so, and that right now, people want him and his friends (younger brothers, it turns out) to leave. All I get is attitude. "Psh. I'm not fuckin' leaving" and he rolls away. As I watch him do so, it occurs to me that they really do look fucking stupid. Fine.

A few minutes pass with nothing really happening when the oldest one suddenly pulls a candle out of his backpack and, as rollerbladers tend(ed) to do, proceeds trying to pile on a thick layer of wax on the really blunted C-block (the one opposite the little 3 that a lot of people also did manual stuff on). Couple things about that:

- As anyone who skated there knows, the Embarcadero blocks had probably been waxed at some point, but nobody waxed them now. It wasn't done. Certainly not by bridge and tunnel dorks like my friends and me, and definitely not by rollerbladers. They didn't really need to be waxed anyway, but I don't think most people outside the EMB crew would squawk if someone were to run a candle over them once.

- Excluding obvious world ass famous landmarks like the Great Wall of China or whatever, this dude couldn't have known that he was fouling up what at that time may have been the most famous, stupid ledge in the world.

All hell breaks loose and what seemed like a relatively slow day at Embarcadero is now bearing witness to every kid in the place rushing these rollerbladers. Just like that, the 3 are surrounded by probably 12 dudes. I'm standing off to the side with some other people who don't want to get involved, and I can see from the oldest rollerblader's face that he has definitely lost his fuck you attitude now. He's getting shoved in every direction before a fist is thrown and his head jolts back and back up with blood running out of his nose. He looks fucking terrified.

This is straight out of some stupid melodramatic script, but it's true that just at that moment, Kelch shows up. He doesn't have a board but he's bleeding from the elbow. His shirt is filthy and his pants look like the ass has fallen out. His eyes are sunken and his hair is a rat's nest. Dude looks like he hasn't slept a wink for the past week but he's cool as a cucumber sauntering down the little 3 toward the fracas.

"What the fuck's going on? What the fuck's going on? Watch out padna. Watch out." 

He's holding a cigarette in one hand and in the other, inexplicably, a roll of duct tape, and the blood running down his forearm has dribbled a little onto it. I can't be the only one wondering just what the fuck is going to go down here.

Kelch makes his way through the little mob and gets up into the oldest rollerblader's face, sort of looks him up and down and breaks the tension by telling him he looks like he just got his ass beat. People laugh. The rollerbladers don't laugh. Kelch tells him he's probably about to get his ass beat if he doesn't leave and stay gone. One of the skaters wants blood and says so. Kelch says something about fighting a dude with wheels on his feet a pussy move. The rollerbladers leave. So Kelch 86'd some dudes but also saved their asses in the process.

TL;DR: Kelch shows up to Embarcadero looking like the white version of Bubbles from the Wire and saves the lives of a trio of rollerbladers.

"I'd like some more please, sir." - that young thug in a Dickens book

[funeral_tuxedo]

@funeral_tuxedo  really awful story, that sounds like a nightmare.  As a Western European it always boggles my mind how you guys don‘t have reliable healthcare insurance so that at least emergency stuff is covered in all circumstances, without asking questions or signing malpractice waivers. Anyway glad you are doing better, and wishing you the best.

Thanks, @Easy Slider . I'm almost fully back to where I was before the burns and I'm hoping to go skate a little on Sunday. As far as health care in America, it breaks my heart that there are any people who think basic free healthcare is too much for people in need to receive here.

[Merman]

Maybe some Pals will recall this moment as well... Huntington Beach skate event on the beach next to the big annual surf contest, circa 2014. Tony Trujillo takes a moderate slam in the park course and hobbles up to the walking deck, shuffles in front of a big crowd seated in the stands, and just crumbles to the ground and begins rolling around on the ground for like ten minutes, groaning and writhing, but with pauses where he seemed to be fine and laying flat on the ground thinking about something. It was quite a spectacle, and most definitely weird. Maybe he injured his spleen? Somebody DM him like a doctor.


 

[Brguy]

Maybe some Pals will recall this moment as well... Huntington Beach skate event on the beach next to the big annual surf contest, circa 2014. Tony Trujillo takes a moderate slam in the park course and hobbles up to the walking deck, shuffles in front of a big crowd seated in the stands, and just crumbles to the ground and begins rolling around on the ground for like ten minutes, groaning and writhing, but with pauses where he seemed to be fine and laying flat on the ground thinking about something. It was quite a spectacle, and most definitely weird. Maybe he injured his spleen? Somebody DM him like a doctor.

This kinda sounds like he really needed to take a shit, like when it hurts for a while and stops repeatedly.

[IUTSM]

I'm remembering when my dead homie Jeff sold Harold a zip at a Zoo demo. Not my story. no details. just remembering the dude