Hey so, I keep getting my name thrown around with things I never said and never suggested.
i honestly don’t have a solution other than “let’s try to see people as capable of change and not inhuman monsters that we just hope go away” because that doesn’t fix the root causes of this disgusting fucked up behavior, seen?
This particular conclusion is very troubling. I never entertained the thought of whether rapists are capable of change or even monstrous individuals. Like many arguments you have assumed I am making - but am explicitly not - it is simply not my interest.
All I have argued & suggested - over and over again - is that rape and abuse is purely the responsibility of rapists and abusers. To me, this is the only essential argument to solving the problem of rape and abuse. Everything else is secondary at best. This has nothing to do with rape culture; this has nothing to do with patriarchy; those are distracting terms that get used as red herrings.
The reason why my argument is so specific, is because here and in any community of skaters (to think small) the responsibility for rape and abuse is never accepted; it always devolves into a gossip party about how kids are ruining the world and survivors are apparently very bad at dealing with a trauma that we haven't experienced.
Again: my only argument is and will always remain the argument that rapists and abusers are solely responsible for rape and abuse. I find it really puzzling why this continues to trigger you, and why you continue to project onto me and the imaginary bubble of quote-unquote 'individuals like me' when you have no knowledge of my age, background, life experiences - etc.
I would not project like that onto you or anyone I was arguing with because it is both a waste of time and an admission of not having anything of value to say.
Now I will try to bring it all home, because I'm tired.
Prioritizing the need for people - any person - to unlearn harmful behaviors that enable rape and abuse will always be futile if the full responsibility for rape and abuse is never established. It's like trying to teach someone to drive on the highway before they can drive on the neighborhood roads.
In my opinion, you do not know how to drive on the neighborhood roads, but are trying to have a showdown with me on the highway. If you need me, I'll be back on the small streets trying to stick to the basics.