Author Topic: Awkward/awful marriages thread  (Read 2921 times)

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pugmaster

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Awkward/awful marriages thread
« on: March 20, 2021, 01:55:51 PM »
The roommates thread has been a good read and helped me appreciate living alone.  I didn't see a divorce thread so thought it could be useful information to individuals who are not married yet (e.g., tips, things to consider, etc.).
I like my women the same way I like my personified cups of coffee...black...strong...and proud.

No puedo hazlo aplaudia, pero sŪ que haga: "°Whoo!"

iKobrakai

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2021, 02:21:25 PM »
My waifu wants to get married but I'm not a fan...

TheLurper

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2021, 02:53:46 PM »
If you agree to a 50-50 partnership, no matter how little or how much money you have in the bank or generate each year get a prenup. When the marriage comes to an end no cares about the why. If one spouse is a cheating, if one spouse is abusive, if one spouse is a huge financial and emotional burden, etc. no one in the court system cares, the prenup is the only think protecting one's money, retirement, property, etc.

Also, for the few women PALS, women are more likely to be in poverty post-divorce (make sure to have your own savings and don't sacrifice your education/career for his (unless there is an agreement to amend the prenup)), and for men PALS, men are way more likely to kill themselves post-divorce (maintain a friend circle don't isolate in the marriage).

Finally, limit how much of yourself you are willing to sacrifice for someone else. There is a difference between helping, reasonable sacrifice, and being abused or exploited... but that line can be really hard to see when you are in the relationship.



Edit: Get the prenup squared away well before the day of the marriage. Prenups signed the day of can be tossed out of court.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2021, 11:08:11 PM by TheLurper »

Quote from: ChuckRamone
I love when people bring up world hunger. It makes everything meaningless.
"that guy is double parked."
"Who cares? there are people starving to death! besides, how does that affect you? does it lessen the joy of parking?

El Fapinator

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2021, 07:50:08 PM »
My ex-wife was a whore (like literally) caught her hooking up with my friends now and then. Felt like if I had a gun I'd have offed myself like little Bill from Boogie Night's I'm not into being cuckold as I'm a monogamous person,

 I fell hard for that person but too many fights verbal and fist's and dicking around I left with the clothes on my back to Portland and sadly Greyhound lost my shit too.

Am I sad she ended up dead in a ditch? Naeww not really she was alone for a reason when I met her (probably fucked and ruined her gal pal friend's over)  there was warning signs and red flags all around and I wasn't careful.
Dueces Bitch's

iKobrakai

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2021, 11:23:50 PM »
Well, that escalated quickly...

cucktard

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2021, 05:18:13 AM »
I think we can, with the approval of everyone, end the thread now.
Iím trying to be every momís favorite skaterí-&&

&& is no stranger to the female species. Hes always got some travel pussy with him in his slambulance. -Hateboard


layzieyez

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2021, 05:37:51 AM »
My first wife basically moved all her stuff out of our house while I was at work without a call or anything. The neighbor was nice enough to come over to console me when I got home. It was worst thing in the world at the time, but in retrospect I am happy that I am no longer stuck with her.
I take everything I said back. The board hit me in the nuts for the first time ever today, because i was wearing these shits.

RichardBarkley

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2021, 10:17:09 AM »
Why do Americans get married so much it they end up getting divorced?

Honestly I'm not being snarky that's a genuine question.

Marriage / divorce norms are different in every culture.

TheLurper

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2021, 12:38:32 PM »
The divorce rates in the States aren't as high as common discourse makes it seem. It's not half of all marriages.

The problem with marriage is the happiest day of the marriage is the first day and it only goes downhill from there. And, once kids are added happiness dramatically plummets. (Depressing info learned from a uni class on family.)

And, shit if there is a significant difference in marriage rate success by country, I'd imagine it comes back to many of the issues people in the US face that others don't. Healthcare costs, day-care costs, housing costs (Canada def has this problem too), student loans, overworked, underpaid, work comes first mentality, lack integration among family generations, lack of support mental health, addictions, etc.

But, that being said, I'm not necessarily sure divorce should be stigmatized. I mean why promote being stuck in a shitty relationship?

Hell, I think we should have a tax break for people the year they get divorced, because, fuck, divorce is expensive. And, the court costs are absurd. Why the fuck can someone get a marriage certificate for 40 bucks but it costs 400 to file for divorce?



Quote from: ChuckRamone
I love when people bring up world hunger. It makes everything meaningless.
"that guy is double parked."
"Who cares? there are people starving to death! besides, how does that affect you? does it lessen the joy of parking?

Telly

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2021, 11:06:01 AM »
Married chicks are the best.  Itís all the fun without any of the work.  And a bed to yourself when they go home

Telly

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2021, 11:07:13 AM »


Hell, I think we should have a tax break for people the year they get divorced, because, fuck, divorce is expensive. And, the court costs are absurd. Why the fuck can someone get a marriage certificate for 40 bucks but it costs 400 to file for divorce?
And cue the joke
Why are divorces so expensive?

winnasoda

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2021, 11:09:58 AM »
Married chicks are the best.  Itís all the fun without any of the work.  And a bed to yourself when they go home

kys

Telly

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2021, 11:17:32 AM »
Expand Quote
Married chicks are the best.  Itís all the fun without any of the work.  And a bed to yourself when they go home
[close]

kys

Lulz

h00man

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2021, 06:49:25 PM »
The divorce rates in the States aren't as high as common discourse makes it seem. It's not half of all marriages.

The problem with marriage is the happiest day of the marriage is the first day and it only goes downhill from there. And, once kids are added happiness dramatically plummets. (Depressing info learned from a uni class on family.)

And, shit if there is a significant difference in marriage rate success by country, I'd imagine it comes back to many of the issues people in the US face that others don't. Healthcare costs, day-care costs, housing costs (Canada def has this problem too), student loans, overworked, underpaid, work comes first mentality, lack integration among family generations, lack of support mental health, addictions, etc.


That's why my gf and I aren't having kids, nor do we care to get married.

fuck the societal norms.

 I meet up with her and I'm like wtf and she's got a baby stroller with her pushing it and she's pretty fat now


El Fapinator

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2021, 08:36:14 AM »
Anyone else feel like you're a tin can they can just kick around? I feel like I'm just here to be yelled at and it's taking everything I am not to spazz out in frustration,  I've been a piece of shit before and have raised my hands in self-defense but I feel verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.
Dueces Bitch's

artskool

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2021, 09:44:05 AM »
Large and small observations/advice about marriage from a person who has a pretty good one.

- Marry somebody who is all ready clearly on a dedicated career path. At some point after you quit your job to pursue your dreams they will be the one paying the mortgage.

- When you're super frustrated, washing a sinkful of dishes like you do every goddamn night, re-frame it in your head as doing a favor for the one you love.

- Don't marry when you're fully in the throes of romantic infatuation. You're going to spend your life with this person. Dramatic highs and lows are not sustainable over the arc of your entire life.

- Ask yourself if your potential spouse would be a good and responsible caretaker for you if you needed them to. Imagine you're paralyzed in a car crash- is this person going to make you delicious homemade chicken soup for the next 70 years?

Yushin Okami

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2021, 10:15:14 AM »
When you're super frustrated, washing a sinkful of dishes like you do every goddamn night, re-frame it in your head as doing a favor for the one you love.

This is real solid advice.
We all know you have two sexy anthropomorphic wolves who buttfuck each other on the bottom of your board.

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2021, 11:12:00 AM »
Large and small observations/advice about marriage from a person who has a pretty good one.

- Marry somebody who is all ready clearly on a dedicated career path. At some point after you quit your job to pursue your dreams they will be the one paying the mortgage.

- When you're super frustrated, washing a sinkful of dishes like you do every goddamn night, re-frame it in your head as doing a favor for the one you love.

- Don't marry when you're fully in the throes of romantic infatuation. You're going to spend your life with this person. Dramatic highs and lows are not sustainable over the arc of your entire life.

- Ask yourself if your potential spouse would be a good and responsible caretaker for you if you needed them to. Imagine you're paralyzed in a car crash- is this person going to make you delicious homemade chicken soup for the next 70 years?

my partner and I have been together 6 years and while not married, this speaks to the whole vibe. I'm a traveler, a creator, born a rambling man, and well, she is none of that and while it's been frustrating at times and I think about and pine for the old ways, those last 2 are what I focus on if I'm frustrated. It's pretty good.
stay high, lay low

lemonchicken91

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2021, 11:15:07 AM »
I'm in a long term relationship and went from missing my freedom to enjoying having a partners, but I still get really annoyed that I have to communicate every little thing. For example sometimes I don't give a fuck about dinner on some nights, I just want to freestyle it lol. She's very much a planner and structure person so she wants to know dinner plan before I leave work. but....the planning is helping me in my job and responsibilities.

Learning to be blunt but also not a dick. Went from a yes man to a blunt man w no tact.
The answer lies in the middle

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2021, 10:26:12 AM »
I'm in a long term relationship and went from missing my freedom to enjoying having a partners, but I still get really annoyed that I have to communicate every little thing. For example sometimes I don't give a fuck about dinner on some nights, I just want to freestyle it lol. She's very much a planner and structure person so she wants to know dinner plan before I leave work. but....the planning is helping me in my job and responsibilities.

Learning to be blunt but also not a dick. Went from a yes man to a blunt man w no tact.
The answer lies in the middle


non violent communication can really help. it's a thing that we need to learn and is kind of weird to get the hang of at first, like actually recognizing the separation and relationships between observations, needs, feelings, and requests and then communicating. if nothing else it's honest and can be worked on together

https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/4-part-nvc/
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SHAQUEEFA

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2021, 11:20:38 AM »
I'm in a long term relationship and went from missing my freedom to enjoying having a partners, but I still get really annoyed that I have to communicate every little thing. For example sometimes I don't give a fuck about dinner on some nights, I just want to freestyle it lol. She's very much a planner and structure person so she wants to know dinner plan before I leave work. but....the planning is helping me in my job and responsibilities.

Learning to be blunt but also not a dick. Went from a yes man to a blunt man w no tact.
The answer lies in the middle


Oh man. Don't get me started on dinner.

Wife on a sunday: "I'm going to the store, what do you think you will want for dinner on Thursday?"
Me : "What the fuck?"

I'm not a picky eater and like her cooking. I've told her many times I don't need to be consulted in such decisions.

Now when she asks I just say "Steak and Lobster" every single time. i don't expect to get it ever, so the few times she has actually came through with Steak and Lobster I get really happy.

I'll also just throw random foods together that don't make sense and watch her get visibly upset.
"oh babe, just get me some ceviche, hot wings, and fettucini alfredo, that should be good"

graypubes

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2021, 02:52:47 PM »
I am single but my best friends wife just left him for another woman. I am selfishly stoked about it. Means it will be way easier for him to go on missions with me. No more hauling her mikeytaylor around to events.



My fathers first wife drank herself to death. Then he knocked up my mom and ended up marrying her. He will never forgive me for coming out of her instead of his first wife.

pugmaster

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2021, 03:41:58 PM »
I am single but my best friends wife just left him for another woman. I am selfishly stoked about it. Means it will be way easier for him to go on missions with me. No more hauling her mikeytaylor around to events.



My fathers first wife drank herself to death. Then he knocked up my mom and ended up marrying her. He will never forgive me for coming out of her instead of his first wife.

Why would he expect your mother to give birth to his dead ex wife?
I like my women the same way I like my personified cups of coffee...black...strong...and proud.

No puedo hazlo aplaudia, pero sŪ que haga: "°Whoo!"

boi-cuzudo

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2021, 05:55:35 PM »
Anyone else feel like you're a tin can they can just kick around? I feel like I'm just here to be yelled at and it's taking everything I am not to spazz out in frustration,  I've been a piece of shit before and have raised my hands in self-defense but I feel verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse in my opinion, do not accept it!!

 

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2021, 06:58:19 PM »

That's why my gf and I aren't having kids, nor do we care to get married.

fuck the societal norms.

I thought I was on that path. I came from divorced parents and never wanted to get married nor have kids. Fast forward 10 years when I was thinking that, I am no married and have a 2 year old kid.

I think part marriage and even just life goals in general is to do shit at a certain age and then mature to the next stage of life. When I met my wife, I was in my late 20s and wanted to just get drunk at bars, travel and do dumb city shit in San Francisco. Now that I am almost 40, I don't mind a more civil lifestyle and just chilling out with my kid. If I got married in my 20s and had a kid early, I'd for sure be divorced by now.
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graypubes

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2021, 12:52:31 AM »
Expand Quote
I am single but my best friends wife just left him for another woman. I am selfishly stoked about it. Means it will be way easier for him to go on missions with me. No more hauling her mikeytaylor around to events.



My fathers first wife drank herself to death. Then he knocked up my mom and ended up marrying her. He will never forgive me for coming out of her instead of his first wife.
[close]

Why would he expect your mother to give birth to his dead ex wife?

Wow you are dense

Lenny the Fatface

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2021, 07:38:51 AM »
My advice, get a 7 with a good personality that can semi-follow a football game.

Being a parent is either going to enhance a loving relationship or tank a bad one. Itís been great for my marriage because my wife is a pretty good mom.

Most divorces Iíve seen are either a money thing, or some form of jealousy that got out of hand.

Also, Iíve said this in the parenting thread - WAY more infidelity goes on than you think. Iíd say a 1/4th of married people are fucking other married people on the regular.

The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off. When itís a gf/bf situation the friend circles are a lot looser, so you donít have to socialize with some asshole if you donít want to. But now I got to make small talk with some redneck that I have very little in common with. Iím sure the other husband feels the same way about me, Iím a 32 year old black skateboarder, he probably thinks Iím weird as fuck lol.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2021, 07:52:35 AM by Lenny the Fatface »

Fhk hu

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #27 on: April 16, 2021, 01:19:22 PM »

The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off. When itís a gf/bf situation the friend circles are a lot looser, so you donít have to socialize with some asshole if you donít want to. But now I got to make small talk with some redneck that I have very little in common with. Iím sure the other husband feels the same way about me, Iím a 32 year old black skateboarder, he probably thinks Iím weird as fuck lol.

This is the truth! I keep hoping someday it's like "Hey come meet my friends husband, when he's not skating he likes to smoke a bowl and drink a beer or too" I am not holding my breath though.
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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #28 on: April 16, 2021, 01:46:32 PM »
Expand Quote

The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off. When itís a gf/bf situation the friend circles are a lot looser, so you donít have to socialize with some asshole if you donít want to. But now I got to make small talk with some redneck that I have very little in common with. Iím sure the other husband feels the same way about me, Iím a 32 year old black skateboarder, he probably thinks Iím weird as fuck lol.

This is the truth! I keep hoping someday it's like "Hey come meet my friends husband, when he's not skating he likes to smoke a bowl and drink a beer or too" I am not holding my breath though.
[close]
Ughh this sounds awful I can't imagine ever wanting to be a round a detestable person/persons who sucks not even for my kids sake. Either bring your crotch goblins to the park or other spot that's on your terms and see where it goes from there. Also have a ride to and from so you are not stuck there, that's the absolute worse.
Dueces Bitch's

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #29 on: April 16, 2021, 02:12:40 PM »
Expand Quote

The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off. When itís a gf/bf situation the friend circles are a lot looser, so you donít have to socialize with some asshole if you donít want to. But now I got to make small talk with some redneck that I have very little in common with. Iím sure the other husband feels the same way about me, Iím a 32 year old black skateboarder, he probably thinks Iím weird as fuck lol.

This is the truth! I keep hoping someday it's like "Hey come meet my friends husband, when he's not skating he likes to smoke a bowl and drink a beer or too" I am not holding my breath though.
[close]

I don't know most of my partners friends boyfriends/husbands and we've been together 6 years. When I do meet them it's like what the fuk do we talk about? My interests are meditation/yoga, skateboarding, Grateful Dead/reggae/jazz, psychedelics, being in the woods, bicycles, anarcho-collectivism, and shooting guns. I don't like sports or drink alcohol anymore or making jokes about women or playing yard games. These dudes try to talk to me either about tattoos or weed, because on the surface those seem to be relatable. I'm like I don't give a shit about your 1 tattoo and don't want to talk about all I've got going on, and weed? fuuuck,  I don't wanna hear about the brand name pre rolls you buy at the store. I don't even wanna talk about weed at all... Maybe y'all can sense the anxiety building as a trip to the the other coast is approaching and it's inevitable that I will be meeting new people.  :o
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