Awkward/awful marriages thread

[blowjobtofakie]

ur mom and dad and that’s why u post on slap

[PuffinMuffin]

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ur mom and dad and that’s why u post on slap

[close]

A tragic  :'(

[JB]

The dinner shit had me cracking up. Exactly the same at my house. My wife will plan meals like 10 days out. I will go to the fridge and figure it out when its dinner time. SOMETIMES theres a plan the day before if I'm making something special, but middle of the week stuff I can usually freestyle. My wife does it to help me though because she works late 3 nights a week, so I'm the one cooking, and both of my kids are picky. Freestyling usually means I make 3 different meals for the three of us. Overall, if she didn't have a plan for everything, we'd probably lose our minds.

There's a lot of great advice on here. This year we'll have been together for 10 years, married for 5. Neither of us are the perfect partner, but we both have always tried for each other, and I know she'll never give up on me. I feel very lucky to have a good marriage, one I truly see longevity in, because I have friends who are truly miserable in theirs. My wife's got a group of friends, who luckily I get along with all the husbands, but almost all of their marriages are pretty rocky. One couple, probably my two favorite people out of the group, basically hate each other and cannot get along. As much as I love both of them, I wish they'd get divorced so they each could be happy. They're good people, but they dated when they were teens, got pregnant pretty early and then married. I've known them long enough to know that they've both tried, but just from what I see it can't work.

A lot of the other issues I see just come down to jealousy.

[exlurker]

While you are very right. From what I’ve seen marrying a 10 can be a nightmare. Granted the only people I’ve seen wife 10s are people who work in the entertainment industry, or assistant coaches. Financially well off people with large social circles whose career trajectories are based on respect.

I never realized how much my wife must be suffering for marrying a 10. Poor thing.

[PuffinMuffin]

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While you are very right. From what I’ve seen marrying a 10 can be a nightmare. Granted the only people I’ve seen wife 10s are people who work in the entertainment industry, or assistant coaches. Financially well off people with large social circles whose career trajectories are based on respect.

[close]

I never realized how much my wife must be suffering for marrying a 10. Poor thing.

Best to take her out tonight to a fancy Italian restaurant and apologize loudly for being so ravishing. Gotta put 'em in their place.

[Fhk]

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While you are very right. From what I’ve seen marrying a 10 can be a nightmare. Granted the only people I’ve seen wife 10s are people who work in the entertainment industry, or assistant coaches. Financially well off people with large social circles whose career trajectories are based on respect.

[close]

I never realized how much my wife must be suffering for marrying a 10. Poor thing.

[close]

Best to take her out tonight to a fancy Italian restaurant and apologize loudly for being so ravishing. Gotta put 'em in their place.

Great advice! I didn’t follow through with this, and my stunning looks eventually lead to the demise of my marriage.

[bigdave]

Friend of mine held a dinner party the other night where one of the main topics was centered around two couples (not present, which will seem obvious why in a moment) and the fact they're engaged in the Hotwife/Cuckold lifestyle.

It's not going well for anyone and both couples are getting divorced.

Hence, them not being at the dinner party.

[iKobrakai]

Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[JugeL]

Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

Probably love and shit

[iKobrakai]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Probably love and shit

How is love in any way connected to the state and church?

[JugeL]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Probably love and shit

[close]

How is love in any way connected to the state and church?

Shit part has lot to do with state and church

[sexualhelon]

I've been with my lady for about 7 years now and we got married because it allowed us to be together. We discussed all the other options - both working remotely and constantly moving around, one of us getting sponsored for work, etc... - but being from different countries the marriage option just makes things so much easier. We've always split everything 50/50 and neither of us really believe in the institution of marriage so if we were both from the same country I think we'd still be together but we wouldn't have gotten married.

We lived in NYC for a while, then traveled and worked remotely for 1.5 years, and now we've been in Berlin for 2 years. She's from Austria and likes Berlin. I enjoyed it when I'd visited but I fucking hate living here - Germany in general. I'm able to work remotely so I got to a point where I'll be in Berlin for about a month, lose my mind, then leave for 2 or 3 months. Things in our relationship are alright but I've gotten to a point where I've basically said as long as we live here I'm going to be gone all the time. I'd try living somewhere else in Europe before moving back to NYC but made it pretty clear to her that I won't renew my resident permit. So, yeah, the situation is a bit awkward/straining but we're trying to figure something out.

[iKobrakai]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Probably love and shit

[close]

How is love in any way connected to the state and church?

[close]

Shit part has lot to do with state and church

No reasons, got it.

[exlurker]

Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

As you mention, it's not really that big of a deal, aside from whatever meaning you might associate with it. It's a way bigger deal to move in with someone, and obviously an even bigger deal to have kids with someone.  but there are some minor perks

1. tax advantages
2. outward social signifier that everyone understands
3. Your extended relatives might buy you useful appliances
4. If she leaves you, you can probably get some of her money
5. other legal benefits (hospital visitation, handling of death/life events, etc)

[iKobrakai]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

As you mention, it's not really that big of a deal, aside from whatever meaning you might associate with it. It's a way bigger deal to move in with someone, and obviously an even bigger deal to have kids with someone.  but there are some minor perks

1. tax advantages
2. outward social signifier that everyone understands
3. Your extended relatives might buy you useful appliances
4. If she leaves you, you can probably get some of her money
5. other legal benefits (hospital visitation, handling of death/life events, etc)

Yeah, I work with law folks so that I understand. Can be handy when my fat ass dies from all the McDo.

Such a shitty concept, though. Was terrible idea back in the days, even dumber now.

[PuffinMuffin]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

As you mention, it's not really that big of a deal, aside from whatever meaning you might associate with it. It's a way bigger deal to move in with someone, and obviously an even bigger deal to have kids with someone.  but there are some minor perks

1. tax advantages
2. outward social signifier that everyone understands
3. Your extended relatives might buy you useful appliances
4. If she leaves you, you can probably get some of her money
5. other legal benefits (hospital visitation, handling of death/life events, etc)

[close]

Yeah, I work with law folks so that I understand. Can be handy when my fat ass dies from all the McDo.

Such a shitty concept, though. Was terrible idea back in the days, even dumber now.

Agreed, it's pretty stupid and hearkens back to puritan principles, which the government shouldn't dabble in. I married my best friend for $40 and had a friend officiate the wedding, so we made out like bandits. Saved so much money over the 11 years we've been married through car insurance, health insurance, tax returns, and other dumb shit.

[JB]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

As you mention, it's not really that big of a deal, aside from whatever meaning you might associate with it. It's a way bigger deal to move in with someone, and obviously an even bigger deal to have kids with someone.  but there are some minor perks

1. tax advantages
2. outward social signifier that everyone understands
3. Your extended relatives might buy you useful appliances
4. If she leaves you, you can probably get some of her money
5. other legal benefits (hospital visitation, handling of death/life events, etc)

[close]

Yeah, I work with law folks so that I understand. Can be handy when my fat ass dies from all the McDo.

Such a shitty concept, though. Was terrible idea back in the days, even dumber now.

[close]

Agreed, it's pretty stupid and hearkens back to puritan principles, which the government shouldn't dabble in. I married my best friend for $40 and had a friend officiate the wedding, so we made out like bandits. Saved so much money over the 11 years we've been married through car insurance, health insurance, tax returns, and other dumb shit.

Health insurance in the US is a benefit for some. If both of you each have your own decent health care plan, then maybe not. My wife's employer doesn't offer any shit like that, so I got my whole family cover through mine.

[Fhk]

Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

Without marriage, you have no possibility of feeling the suffering that comes with divorce. Once you endure that pain, falling off your skateboard pales in comparison. Therefore you become a better skater.

[rhetoric]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Without marriage, you have no possibility of feeling the suffering that comes with divorce. Once you endure that pain, falling off your skateboard pales in comparison. Therefore you become a better skater.

Damn, gonna have to try this one.

[Fhk]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Without marriage, you have no possibility of feeling the suffering that comes with divorce. Once you endure that pain, falling off your skateboard pales in comparison. Therefore you become a better skater.

[close]

Damn, gonna have to try this one.

Haha! Well let me get back to you in a month or two before you make that power move.

[iKobrakai]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

Without marriage, you have no possibility of feeling the suffering that comes with divorce. Once you endure that pain, falling off your skateboard pales in comparison. Therefore you become a better skater.

Nah, I'm into lifting and being sober. My pain is already maxed out.

[sexualhelon]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

As you mention, it's not really that big of a deal, aside from whatever meaning you might associate with it. It's a way bigger deal to move in with someone, and obviously an even bigger deal to have kids with someone.  but there are some minor perks

1. tax advantages
2. outward social signifier that everyone understands
3. Your extended relatives might buy you useful appliances
4. If she leaves you, you can probably get some of her money
5. other legal benefits (hospital visitation, handling of death/life events, etc)

[close]

Yeah, I work with law folks so that I understand. Can be handy when my fat ass dies from all the McDo.

Such a shitty concept, though. Was terrible idea back in the days, even dumber now.

[close]

Agreed, it's pretty stupid and hearkens back to puritan principles, which the government shouldn't dabble in. I married my best friend for $40 and had a friend officiate the wedding, so we made out like bandits. Saved so much money over the 11 years we've been married through car insurance, health insurance, tax returns, and other dumb shit.

[close]

Health insurance in the US is a benefit for some. If both of you each have your own decent health care plan, then maybe not. My wife's employer doesn't offer any shit like that, so I got my whole family cover through mine.

Not to derail this thread, but I had amazing insurance (from my employer) that covered essentially 100% of everything when I lived in NYC. I had a friend who recently moved from Australia to NYC for a job offer and they offered the same thing. Right after moving there he got into a horrible accident and it was all covered from his insurance and it would have costed something like 20k in Australia. The healthcare I did receive in the US I felt was so much better than what I get from the public healthcare system in Germany as well.

But that's not to say it's all good. Whether it's good or bad, the shit part is that healthcare essentially depends on your employer. Even if you move there for a job that offers amazing insurance, what happens if you switch jobs? I've thought about moving back to NYC but this is definitely the thing that would worry me the most.

[RoaryMcTwang]

Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

I see it as an expression of committing seriously to being with someone. It has certainly helped me to stay around and face my bevy of personal issues, in situations where in the past I’d simply walked out the door.

[Fhk]

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Can anybody give me a valid reason to get married? Other than it's such a big deal for my waifu and rather small sacrifice for me?

[close]

I see it as an expression of committing seriously to being with someone. It has certainly helped me to stay around and face my bevy of personal issues, in situations where in the past I’d simply walked out the door.

Wow! I have joked in this thread..but what you wrote is honestly what it’s all about.

[Sleazy]

i like the advice about reframing how you think about doing chores as being doing something for someone you love. i use that approach for wife and kids.

i'm happily married for 15 or so years to a lady i've been exclusively with for 23 or so. my advice would be that marriage is hard and requires constant work. it's really easy to get comfortable and become friends or siblings and not husband and wife. keeping that fire going is really important and difficult on both sides. i think the hardest phase is young kids, when you've got multiples and there's like 2-6 ages at play. i've heard that divorce lawyers and therapist say this is where highest failure rates are and having 3 kids close in age i can understand why. we've got great chemistry but went through a lot of stress and strain at that time. before that time, even when we were in college you are never truly overwhelmed and exhausted and forced to sustain for such a long period of time. before that you can have different ways of approaching problems and there's still an element of do your own thing. you study that way i do it this way, you clean that part of the house, i clean this part of the house, etc... but when you've got 5 people all with stomach bugs and are running out of things to clean up messes with so having to do laundry all night while kids are scream and in pain and fighting with your spouse over the toilet, things get real and your differences really come to the surface. now imagine stretching that vibe out for 7 ish years. it's a hard thing to do. we've still got some battle scars from it. my wife, like most women, has some resentment about how much i helped and i've got some resentment about her not understanding how i was helping. even for hard working, well intentioned people it's a really hard time. it's sad but true IMHO that money can make all these things way easier so getting more established i think is good advice. also family close by is super helpful which wasn't an option for us. we weren't in a fantastic position on either, at least not enough to move the needle, like we couldn't afford nannies or any of that.

my biggest advice, which i saw earlier in this thread is take your time. if your going to be together forever then why get married in 2 years. let things cool, wait till you go through some life changes and hard times and after working through some of these things if you feel like you'd like to do that kind of work for the rest of your life then go for it. i wouldn't have kids until you are rock solid though and feel you should commit to staying together at least till their off to college/work. it's a commitment my wife and i made and took seriously and a few of her friends you can tell did also.

on the flip side, i feel super fortunate and lucky to have the family we've built together. even if we did get divorced one day, we've built something beautiful and meaningful together. there's a whole new vibe and lifestyle that we've created that will go on after we've gone that is a very fun, rewarding and comfortable place to be. our kids are people who's company i genuinely enjoy. we put a lot of work into guiding them and establishing values that our whole family is built on. i'm hopeful we wont have to deal with any of the tragedies you see families deal with because that kind of thing can disrupt the most solid families but i'm hopeful that this vibe will be there on my death bed comforting me as i pass. that's kind of the goal.

[Fhk]

i like the advice about reframing how you think about doing chores as being doing something for someone you love. i use that approach for wife and kids.

i'm happily married for 15 or so years to a lady i've been exclusively with for 23 or so. my advice would be that marriage is hard and requires constant work. it's really easy to get comfortable and become friends or siblings and not husband and wife. keeping that fire going is really important and difficult on both sides. i think the hardest phase is young kids, when you've got multiples and there's like 2-6 ages at play. i've heard that divorce lawyers and therapist say this is where highest failure rates are and having 3 kids close in age i can understand why. we've got great chemistry but went through a lot of stress and strain at that time. before that time, even when we were in college you are never truly overwhelmed and exhausted and forced to sustain for such a long period of time. before that you can have different ways of approaching problems and there's still an element of do your own thing. you study that way i do it this way, you clean that part of the house, i clean this part of the house, etc... but when you've got 5 people all with stomach bugs and are running out of things to clean up messes with so having to do laundry all night while kids are scream and in pain and fighting with your spouse over the toilet, things get real and your differences really come to the surface. now imagine stretching that vibe out for 7 ish years. it's a hard thing to do. we've still got some battle scars from it. my wife, like most women, has some resentment about how much i helped and i've got some resentment about her not understanding how i was helping. even for hard working, well intentioned people it's a really hard time. it's sad but true IMHO that money can make all these things way easier so getting more established i think is good advice. also family close by is super helpful which wasn't an option for us. we weren't in a fantastic position on either, at least not enough to move the needle, like we couldn't afford nannies or any of that.

my biggest advice, which i saw earlier in this thread is take your time. if your going to be together forever then why get married in 2 years. let things cool, wait till you go through some life changes and hard times and after working through some of these things if you feel like you'd like to do that kind of work for the rest of your life then go for it. i wouldn't have kids until you are rock solid though and feel you should commit to staying together at least till their off to college/work. it's a commitment my wife and i made and took seriously and a few of her friends you can tell did also.

on the flip side, i feel super fortunate and lucky to have the family we've built together. even if we did get divorced one day, we've built something beautiful and meaningful together. there's a whole new vibe and lifestyle that we've created that will go on after we've gone that is a very fun, rewarding and comfortable place to be. our kids are people who's company i genuinely enjoy. we put a lot of work into guiding them and establishing values that our whole family is built on. i'm hopeful we wont have to deal with any of the tragedies you see families deal with because that kind of thing can disrupt the most solid families but i'm hopeful that this vibe will be there on my death bed comforting me as i pass. that's kind of the goal.

Holyshit @Sleazy how much do you charge per hour and is the first session free for new divorcées? I blown away by how much you guys have it figured out. I wish I would of been in the same boat.

[ok boomer]

I was going to pretend I was in an arranged marriage to be funny but then I remembered that my Israeli buddy's parents were an arranged marriage and that it didn't work out

[iKobrakai]

I was going to pretend I was in an arranged marriage to be funny but then I remembered that my Israeli buddy's parents were an arranged marriage and that it didn't work out

Non-arrenged don't work either, so...

[ok boomer]

Also though, I am a people watcher and I am thoroughly amused by the rich married couples at the beginning of my street. (Beginning of the street is rich young couples and my end of the street is original owner 90 year Olds and then us). There are 5 couples that are amusing to watch. Their kids are all 4 and under (glad my son is older).
#1) wife wants to be the popular mom and leader of the pack. Husband definitely wants to wear Polo shirts with his bros at the bar ASAP. They are actually okay but can read that. Definitely reads like she was one time a party girl but has settled and he would like to be at the party chanting his frats name.
#2) wife thinks she is the "hot one" on the street, tries to strut her stuff but no one cares. Husband is pretty chill, wears sunglasses and is quiet. AKA would rather be doing anything else. You can tell when he has his baby in the stroller that this is his escape because he'll stay out there for a long ass time
#3) This couple at least look like they want to be in the same room. They're the bouncy castle in the front yard family. Everyone chills in their driveway (except us because I'm not joining that circus. I asked my son and he has no interest either which is great). They seem pretty legit. As far as liking each other.
#4) non rich couple stuck in the middle of the rich ones. Wife stays as close to her front door as possible (intimidated by the trophy wives or finds them boring, or both?) Husband will go hang (for his kid) but looks like he has no interest, will go out of his way to talk to me if he's out there so I must be his escape
#5) new couple. Seem pretty legit - go everywhere together and definitely work out together. Seem in love and have a baby. Husband seems friendly to me, wife seems wary of me (I am pretty used to this). They park where it is inconvenient for me to back out of my driveway and makes me wonder about their level of common sense

So basically I do a lot of work in my front yard or I'm chilling on the porch while my son rides his bike, so I get to see the show. There are some cool people on my street, these ones are the ones I find amusing though

[iKobrakai]

Ok back to doing drugs it is then..