Author Topic: Awkward/awful marriages thread  (Read 7106 times)

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LordManHammer

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #30 on: April 16, 2021, 04:24:47 PM »
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The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off. When it’s a gf/bf situation the friend circles are a lot looser, so you don’t have to socialize with some asshole if you don’t want to. But now I got to make small talk with some redneck that I have very little in common with. I’m sure the other husband feels the same way about me, I’m a 32 year old black skateboarder, he probably thinks I’m weird as fuck lol.

This is the truth! I keep hoping someday it's like "Hey come meet my friends husband, when he's not skating he likes to smoke a bowl and drink a beer or too" I am not holding my breath though.
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I don't know most of my partners friends boyfriends/husbands and we've been together 6 years. When I do meet them it's like what the fuk do we talk about? My interests are meditation/yoga, skateboarding, Grateful Dead/reggae/jazz, psychedelics, being in the woods, bicycles, anarcho-collectivism, and shooting guns. I don't like sports or drink alcohol anymore or making jokes about women or playing yard games. These dudes try to talk to me either about tattoos or weed, because on the surface those seem to be relatable. I'm like I don't give a shit about your 1 tattoo and don't want to talk about all I've got going on, and weed? fuuuck,  I don't wanna hear about the brand name pre rolls you buy at the store. I don't even wanna talk about weed at all... Maybe y'all can sense the anxiety building as a trip to the the other coast is approaching and it's inevitable that I will be meeting new people.  :o
I feel this on so many levels it stings, apart from the Grateful Dead and reggae thing I think we’d vibe well if we were introduced buttttttt I have my boundaries with which I try to just keep to myself.

It feels awkward meeting partners s/o I just keep quiet most times till something sucks and I’m obligated to speak my piece, usually goes south from there.

Oh and don’t even bother with telling me you use to skate and Sublime is your favorite band, frankly I don’t care or give a shit about how you use to do something.

 It bores me to no end, I’d rather hangout by myself or something that requires no one else but me.
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brycickle

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #31 on: April 16, 2021, 05:19:57 PM »
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I am single but my best friends wife just left him for another woman. I am selfishly stoked about it. Means it will be way easier for him to go on missions with me. No more hauling her mikeytaylor around to events.



My fathers first wife drank herself to death. Then he knocked up my mom and ended up marrying her. He will never forgive me for coming out of her instead of his first wife.
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Why would he expect your mother to give birth to his dead ex wife?
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Wow you are dense

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of regular kids and a van full of paraplegics.



Algar

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #32 on: April 16, 2021, 06:02:42 PM »
One of my favorite things to do when meeting wife’s friends significant others that aren’t my type of people, is when asked “what do you do?” Just reply with your hobbies/interests.  It’s just a good way to cut out bullshit talk and see if you have anything in common at all, idk why I like to do it it is just gratifying for some reason. 

Thankfully my wife’s friends are typically pretty cool though

j....soy.....

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #33 on: April 17, 2021, 07:18:32 AM »
I get rad ok?  All I think about is riding around on my fucking skateboard.....we done?

I guess with kids you get families together like that, but it's stuff we did more in our 30's when everyone is so psyched on being 'an adult' so they do 'adult things' like dinner parties and BBQ's....now my wife just kicks it with her friends and I kick it with mine....

Frank

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #34 on: April 17, 2021, 12:35:08 PM »
if anyone wants to get their marriage destroyed, i can do that, i'm the expert in hooking up with people that are in relationships and causing trouble and crisis. we would need to exchange some money though. times are tough, the pandemic left me financially hurting, and i can only do this so often until everyone knows me for it.

currently sitting out my 30s when it comes to relationships so if i have a partner in my 40s i can talk them out of having kids because we're already too old anyway.

pugmaster

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #35 on: April 17, 2021, 03:48:12 PM »
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I am single but my best friends wife just left him for another woman. I am selfishly stoked about it. Means it will be way easier for him to go on missions with me. No more hauling her mikeytaylor around to events.



My fathers first wife drank herself to death. Then he knocked up my mom and ended up marrying her. He will never forgive me for coming out of her instead of his first wife.
[close]

Why would he expect your mother to give birth to his dead ex wife?
[close]

Wow you are dense
[close]

8)
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fuhkin_powahfood_kid

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #36 on: April 17, 2021, 06:29:16 PM »
if anyone wants to get their marriage destroyed, i can do that, i'm the expert in hooking up with people that are in relationships and causing trouble and crisis.

When I turned 28, after a year of intentional celibacy, I made a concerted choice to stop hooking up with women in relationships. It was just too much bad energy and unnecessary tension. God, I don't miss being the person that endless women in relationship wanted to be with.
If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind

LordManHammer

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #37 on: April 17, 2021, 06:45:18 PM »
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if anyone wants to get their marriage destroyed, i can do that, i'm the expert in hooking up with people that are in relationships and causing trouble and crisis.
[close]

When I turned 28, after a year of intentional celibacy, I made a concerted choice to stop hooking up with women in relationships. It was just too much bad energy and unnecessary tension. God, I don't miss being the person that endless women in relationship wanted to be with.
I mean depending on how and what you are trying to get out of the scenario is all up to you.

 I call them bag em and tag em no need for getting attached.

I always kept that adage of if you steal a girl or pull a woman whilst she’s seeing someone else it’s always going to be a chance she’s going to do the same to you.

Hoes no matter the gender come in many facets I try to keep them at a distance till you need them.

I play the innocent and love me character that some ladies like to take home.

https://youtu.be/4MGtU8OX_3c
I refer to this scenario minus hooking up with a high school broad.
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TheLurper

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #38 on: April 18, 2021, 12:02:16 AM »
Dating someone who is in a closed relationship is just beyond shitty. Hell, even pursuing someone in a closed relationship can create serious strife in other people's lives and is a pretty fucked up thing to do.

It is one thing in our teens/early 20s, but once someone is in their 30s, 40s, 50s+ and is more likely to have dealt with real relationship shit, like kids or dealing with serious financial crisis, mental health crisis, physical health crisis, etc., all while trying to keep food on the table and plan for the future that is some fucked up shit.

If people want to physical try something new, swinging is a thing and isn't cheating, open relationships are fine (even if they're a sign that the relationship is probably over anyway), and breaking up is the adult thing to do prior to any shit like this. Cheating and pursuing those in closed relationships is a good way to fuck up a lot of people's lives.

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2021, 07:29:53 AM »
-My wife earns more money than me.
-But she knows if I don't skate, surf, cycle I am going to be a fucking nightmare to be around.
-I have  a secret envelop on my book shelf where I stash money for skateboards and surfboards so it appears I am not eating into family funds to fund my fun.
-End of story.

Frank

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #40 on: April 18, 2021, 08:05:49 AM »
before you guys get the wrong idea, i didn't intentionally date people in relationships. it's more like it turned out they were. like i'm not asking everyone i hook up with "yo, just wondering, do you have an actual partner?" yeah it's pretty shitty to aim for that. i was assuming if they are dating and flirting and stuff over a period of time and seem serious they are probably single.

i'm pretty much a loner anyways and rarely pursue romantic interests, and when it comes out they aren't even single, that's usually the second i'm out anyways. i'm not interested in some sort of homewrecking. but i seem to be the type to hook up with on the side for many or some sort intermediate boyfriend or toy or something. fwiw i blow it most of the time anyway because i'm very slow warming up to the thought of having any type of romantic relationship and friendzone out a lot, which is okay because sometimes those people just remain as homies or friends.

JANUS

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #41 on: April 18, 2021, 08:19:06 AM »
before you guys get the wrong idea, i didn't intentionally date people in relationships. it's more like it turned out they were.

Oddly enough, this happened to a friend of mine like two or three times in a row. He would start dating this girl, we would all get introduced, hit it off, go drinking and carousing, then after a few weeks my homie found out he was a side piece.
If you can't handle me at my Marc Johnson, you don't deserve me at my Bobby Puleo.

lemonchicken91

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #42 on: April 22, 2021, 10:57:40 AM »
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I'm in a long term relationship and went from missing my freedom to enjoying having a partners, but I still get really annoyed that I have to communicate every little thing. For example sometimes I don't give a fuck about dinner on some nights, I just want to freestyle it lol. She's very much a planner and structure person so she wants to know dinner plan before I leave work. but....the planning is helping me in my job and responsibilities.

Learning to be blunt but also not a dick. Went from a yes man to a blunt man w no tact.
The answer lies in the middle

[close]

Oh man. Don't get me started on dinner.

Wife on a sunday: "I'm going to the store, what do you think you will want for dinner on Thursday?"
Me : "What the fuck?"

I'm not a picky eater and like her cooking. I've told her many times I don't need to be consulted in such decisions.

Now when she asks I just say "Steak and Lobster" every single time. i don't expect to get it ever, so the few times she has actually came through with Steak and Lobster I get really happy.

I'll also just throw random foods together that don't make sense and watch her get visibly upset.
"oh babe, just get me some ceviche, hot wings, and fettucini alfredo, that should be good"

I'm using this steak and lobster line
ahaha
no, i live in an efficiency by myself and work in middle management like you, loser

lemonchicken91

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #43 on: April 22, 2021, 11:04:07 AM »
The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off.

"you like beer? I like beer"

 always try and steer it towards their hobby, or pop culture, and away from politics or sensitive issues, this is a much bigger issue for my gf than me because I can kinda mesh with most people and have a large amount of friends in all types of lifestyles. She cannot hide her emotions and you can physically see her cringe when people are full of shit lol. Im trying to get her to at least get a few friends though because she only has like less than 3 and doesn't talk to the much anymore.
I love being her SO but damn she needs a homie or two.
no, i live in an efficiency by myself and work in middle management like you, loser

DaleSr

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #44 on: April 22, 2021, 01:12:28 PM »
The most awkward thing about being married is being forced to hang out with some other husband because the wives (or kids) really hit it off.

"you like beer? I like beer"

 always try and steer it towards their hobby, or pop culture, and away from politics or sensitive issues, this is a much bigger issue for my gf than me because I can kinda mesh with most people and have a large amount of friends in all types of lifestyles. She cannot hide her emotions and you can physically see her cringe when people are full of shit lol. Im trying to get her to at least get a few friends though because she only has like less than 3 and doesn't talk to the much anymore.
I love being her SO but damn she needs a homie or two.

Yo, my so is the same way. I'm super social and my so is on the lofi 3 friends to study to type beat

lemonchicken91

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #45 on: April 22, 2021, 01:26:49 PM »
my gf is an artist and literally can sit there all day without interaction,
meanwhile im over here shitposting in 12 groupchats, and on SLAP, Surfer Forums, 12oz prophet constantly bullshitting w people haha

do you have any advice, clearly we get along but sometimes it's like dude you need a friend to bounce things off of
Also I feel guilty going out w friends and having plans often, and i will stay home and its affecting my social life
it was good at first because im not in the bar all the time but i still need to be able to meet w friends on occasion
no, i live in an efficiency by myself and work in middle management like you, loser

GauchoAmigo

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #46 on: April 22, 2021, 02:02:14 PM »
One of my favorite things to do when meeting wife’s friends significant others that aren’t my type of people, is when asked “what do you do?” Just reply with your hobbies/interests.  It’s just a good way to cut out bullshit talk and see if you have anything in common at all, idk why I like to do it it is just gratifying for some reason. 
Not married, but when I'm asked "what do you do?" I sometimes reply "are you asking what do I do to pay my bills, or what I do for personal fulfillment?" If they're more interested in the former then chances are we're not gonna be friends.

Major LOL @ the dude who said "my so is on the lofi 3 friends to study to type beat" best thing I've read today

DaleSr

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #47 on: April 22, 2021, 05:23:26 PM »
my gf is an artist and literally can sit there all day without interaction,
meanwhile im over here shitposting in 12 groupchats, and on SLAP, Surfer Forums, 12oz prophet constantly bullshitting w people haha

do you have any advice, clearly we get along but sometimes it's like dude you need a friend to bounce things off of
Also I feel guilty going out w friends and having plans often, and i will stay home and its affecting my social life
it was good at first because im not in the bar all the time but i still need to be able to meet w friends on occasion

Yeah i don't know dude, I'm just making it up as i go along just like you haha

Burt Ward

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #48 on: April 22, 2021, 06:01:52 PM »
my gf is an artist and literally can sit there all day without interaction,
meanwhile im over here shitposting in 12 groupchats, and on SLAP, Surfer Forums, 12oz prophet constantly bullshitting

Beachgrit?
Now, we used to say we put on our tights to put on the world. So I don't think it tarnishes the image at all.

cky enthusiast

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #49 on: April 22, 2021, 07:43:42 PM »
happy wife happy life

LordManHammer

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #50 on: April 23, 2021, 05:41:00 AM »
Did you guy’s know that daughters to father’s were basically their property till they became their husbands property?

Depending on the age they get married off....

Sounds absolutely awful to have that entitled looming fear of dissatisfying your parents.
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lemonchicken91

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #51 on: April 23, 2021, 06:07:42 AM »
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my gf is an artist and literally can sit there all day without interaction,
meanwhile im over here shitposting in 12 groupchats, and on SLAP, Surfer Forums, 12oz prophet constantly bullshitting
[close]

Beachgrit?

they can be good, usually on surfer mag forum but they are old school lol
reminds me of how the internet used to be a bit, mostly nerding out on gear just stay clear of the policitcs lol old grumpy men, although their meta banter can be good it doesn't touch SLAP's live commentary
no, i live in an efficiency by myself and work in middle management like you, loser

SHAQUEEFA

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #52 on: May 03, 2021, 04:35:01 PM »
My advice, get a 7 with a good personality that can semi-follow a football game.

This might be some of the soundest advice ever given here.

iKobrakai

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #53 on: May 04, 2021, 05:58:25 AM »
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My advice, get a 7 with a good personality that can semi-follow a football game.

This might be some of the soundest advice ever given here.
[close]

Not like 10's are competing for us....

Lenny the Fatface

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #54 on: May 04, 2021, 07:35:19 AM »
While you are very right. From what I’ve seen marrying a 10 can be a nightmare. Granted the only people I’ve seen wife 10s are people who work in the entertainment industry, or assistant coaches. Financially well off people with large social circles whose career trajectories are based on respect.

Here’s what I’ve seen:

-Everyone’s still trying to bang your wife well until her mid 50s. In fact, her being married and probably a mom makes her more appealing to a lot of dudes because they know it’s sex without the attachment.

-When her looks begin to slip around early-mid 30s she becomes insufferable to be around because this the first time she’s been noticeably uglier than someone since she was 11.

LordManHammer

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #55 on: May 04, 2021, 07:55:09 AM »
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My advice, get a 7 with a good personality that can semi-follow a football game.

This might be some of the soundest advice ever given here.
[close]

Not like 10's are competing for us....
[close]
On the real though you’d be better placed to find a lowkey cutie that’s in to books and stuff that you can relate to.

I’ve always been a fan of the barista cuties, I can hang with being around a coffee shop gal.

Sure she’s probably banged a bunch of dude’s if you’re not from that town what does it really matter? Not like you know them.

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drcroc

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #56 on: March 19, 2022, 03:33:34 PM »
Not married... 34 years old... but I definitely went through a semi "panic" phase where... I was in my late 20s, all my friends were getting married and/or having kids and I was slowly losing my hair, single and noticing all my options were slowly fading away...

Fast forward to now and I still can't see myself ever doing it. Every woman I've ever been involved with for more than a month has turned out to been fucking multiple, multiple guys whilst telling me we were exclusive.

cky enthusiast

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #57 on: March 19, 2022, 06:05:08 PM »
ur mom and dad and that’s why u post on slap

iKobrakai

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #58 on: March 20, 2022, 12:14:37 AM »
Just say no.

layzieyez

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Re: Awkward/awful marriages thread
« Reply #59 on: March 22, 2022, 07:37:53 AM »
In June, it will be 20 years of marriage to my second wife.

I knew her and we went out briefly before I met my first wife so we've known each other for almost 30 years.

Luckily, the city I'm in has a lot of musicians working regular jobs so the parents of my kids' friends were semi-cool since they can understand pursuing a creative passion like skateboarding. Also, it's a college town so most of them are educated beyond high school so conversation is not dull.

My daughter is planning to move away after graduating this year. She is taking a break from school and I agree she should do what she feels is best for her since she's actually really bright and independent.

Don't lose hope after divorce. It might be the best thing to happen to you.