Exvangelicals Post Up

[DaleSr]

I saw a bunch of people were talking about their experiences in the church in the Shecks thread and wanted to create a designated place for us to talk it out. It seems like you guys got loads of Jesus trauma like me and it's always cool to talk it out with other people with similar experiences

Bless up

[friendly dave]

Sorry DaleSr. I was born a snake handler and, I'll die a snake handler.

[GardenSkater77]

Escape Hell

Quit Sinnin’

[in love w/ fs shuvs]

my parents used to make me go to church on friday evenings and sunday mornings but I started acting like a little shit since I wanted to go skate on friday evenings instead of sit in church. honestly, it was probably one of those things that was good and bad; a lot of my friends got into cigarettes and vapes so it was probably good to have some distance. didnt skate as much as a result but that's ying and yang for ya. good times.

it was also sort of fucked tho cause I thought I was evil for a second since I hated singing and asked too many questions.

[layzieyez]

I was raised baptist. Always at church with my parents every sunday until I was 12 or so.

Then they found out the pastor was using the tithes to illegally buy property in Hawaii.

Also, my dad is catholic.

Neither of my kids have been baptized and I told them if they want to go to a church or follow a religion, it's their choice, but thankfully, they have chosen to abstain.

[IUTSM]

I got turned off from church when I was briefly going to a youth group and this girl said "are your family members of the church?" and I said "well, my parents sign that book when they come to church." She said "yeah, but do they give money? they aren't members if they don't." I was like 11 and stopped going to youth group after that. Totally opened my eyes to some funny business!

But, about exvangelicals, I know it's not the purpose of this thread to tell stories others, buuuut... one of my buddies was raised evangelical in a super conservative county in rural CA, joined marines at young age, got married, had kids by 24. Somehow he became an atheist and decided to go to grad school for social work. this kid was getting smoked by the "woke" folk for social faux pas, but he is so earnest about moving beyond the damage done to him during his upbringing. Dude and his wife have been essentially excommunicated from their families. He's on a journey for sure though, taking psychedelics, playing jazz piano, and doing the good work. But damn, he's got a deep closet of community inflicted fear, guilt, and trauma.

big ups to all y'all taking care and stuff.

[iKobrakai]

I come from the shitty postions of dual religion home.

Would not recommend it... Unless you like being told by retards where you belong...

[fortunecattlesteakhouse]

[matty_c]

Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing

[KoRnholio8]

I was a perfect little nerd with straight As in elementary school until the last year when I started skateboarding. I didn't need to study much and most shit came easy. Attended an insane amount of extracurricular activities, except for sports. Bible study (or religion class or something like that) was just one of those activities. I played along and got excellent grades (almost everyone got them).

My father's grandparents are religious, while my mother's are not. I was baptized very late and all the other sacraments were basically done not to offend anyone, no one in my close family really cares about religion. So after elementary school I never went to church again, expect for one wedding. Proud atheist and I don't bear any scars of attending mass, I just find it baffling that adults still believe this shit.

I still have a hard time watching church having a tangible power in political issues at home and abroad. One thing that I have come to realize is that religion is mostly just an escape to find reasons for the harsh life events like disease that pops up randomly in people's lives. It is hard to accept that life essentially has no meaning and people seek a reason to exist for a cause and to belong to a community (so can you really blame them).

[iKobrakai]

Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing

Ah, kind of like ending the sentences in AA/NA...

[matty_c]

Noticed that and left lmao!!

[DaleSr]

I'm gonna just share my bullshit to put it out there as well.

I was literally raised in the church, my parents have both been pastors at different times in my life, they brought me up on stage as an infant and i was "dedicated" to Christ or whatever. My church was a Calvary Chapel, which is an evangelical Christian denomination founded by ex hippies in Southern California in the 60s. Pretty much stock right wing Christian church environment. Started going to school at the church in 4th grade, which i wanted to do because most of my lifelong friends from church went there. But this meant my entire life, social, educational, spiritual, familial, was based around the church. And the entire school was around 250 kids K-12 and like 90% white. I mostly listened to Christian music, was taught Christian curriculum (little things like the earth only being 6000 years old and evolution not being real, how free market libertarianism is the best economic model), was told Barack Obama was Kenyan and the anti Christ by teachers, went on missions trips to other countries to tell em about Jesus (but mostly to go to Costa Rica and Ireland because they're beautiful places).

Most of the teachers, with the exception of one or two, were extremely right wing. We were encouraged as students and given signs protesting prop 8 in California, which was a ballot measure to legalize gay marriage in CA. There's photos of kids in my class holding Bush '04 signs. Our teachers read us stuff from the Drudge Report and Glen Beck in class, and we all had to read Anthem by ayn rand. I was picked on a lot and got hazed at a summer camp where they made me strip and then threw me into a gross pond i got called gay a lot and was pretty homophobic and right wing because it was the only thing i knew and the only people i really knew were like that as well. I have a lesbian aunt who i love and adore, but it didn't really click for me as a kid that she was gay because the way they talked about homosexuality in school and at the church, you'd think they were demon possessed. So it was easy to think they were like that because, how would you know? You've never met one as far as you can tell.

Our school had really weird social mores about dating. You gotta ask a girls dad if you can court them, lots of girls having really unrealistic Disney like ideas about what dating is, us literally knowing nothing and getting no help from pastors other than "pray about it and God will show you if it's meant to be". I also really didn't like myself and all that shame and guilt about being a sinner for doing totally normal and harmless stuff causes you to really self loathe. As a result i had the social skills of a 13 year old at 18 because I'd only had one girlfriend at 17 and all we did was kiss and hold hands. I graduated from Christian high school with a pretty useless diploma, since i didn't even understand high school science or history and was in fact taught total quack nonsense. I then went to Christian College in Portland, and met people who were gay and Christian which challenged my homophobia because they were gay and i loved them. I didn't want them to go to hell. I came back to California though because I also got together with my high school sweetheart and we got to know each other in a biblical sense. And because i felt so guilty about that and thought i wouldn't be welcome back in church, i left the church.

But then the two of us broke up and it crushed my 13 going on 19 year old heart. I had derailed my life to be with her, because Christians take dating so incredibly seriously. So then i went back to church, but a different, younger more hip church. Think like a hillsong or realityla or something like that. I met some cool people who weren't judgemental and so right wing and i thought that was sick. But i still wasn't sure if i still believed it all, but i really wanted my parents to not disown me. I thought that it would be easier to come out as gay than tell them i wasn't a Christian anymore. I wasn't gay but i certainly was feeling like i didn't believe in it anymore. But to make up for that i got really involved in the college group and even interned for them. But I couldn't help but feel like i was a fraud and like i was too fucked up to be Christian. I also had trouble connecting with a lot of these college guys because they all were waiting for marriage and all they wanted to talk about in small groups is how bad they were for looking at risque dagguerotypes on the world wide web. It was clear i didn't really belong there anymore and one day during a worship service i had the thought that if none of it was real, would i still feel ok? Would it change me from wanting to help others and be loving and compassionate if i wasn't a Christian? And when i realized the answer was yes, i would be OK if it wasn't real, i left the church. Left all of it. Some people stopped talking to me which sucked but it let me know what the score was. My family didn't disown me and we have a healthy relationship still. But the environment of full 360 degree church all the time left me fucked up and I'm still working through everything today.

Sorry for the giant wall of text

[in love w/ fs shuvs]

I'm gonna just share my bullshit to put it out there as well.

I was literally raised in the church, my parents have both been pastors at different times in my life, they brought me up on stage as an infant and i was "dedicated" to Christ or whatever. My church was a Calvary Chapel, which is an evangelical Christian denomination founded by ex hippies in Southern California in the 60s. Pretty much stock right wing Christian church environment. Started going to school at the church in 4th grade, which i wanted to do because most of my lifelong friends from church went there. But this meant my entire life, social, educational, spiritual, familial, was based around the church. And the entire school was around 250 kids K-12 and like 90% white. I mostly listened to Christian music, was taught Christian curriculum (little things like the earth only being 6000 years old and evolution not being real, how free market libertarianism is the best economic model), was told Barack Obama was Kenyan and the anti Christ by teachers, went on missions trips to other countries to tell em about Jesus (but mostly to go to Costa Rica and Ireland because they're beautiful places).

Most of the teachers, with the exception of one or two, were extremely right wing. We were encouraged as students and given signs protesting prop 8 in California, which was a ballot measure to legalize gay marriage in CA. There's photos of kids in my class holding Bush '04 signs. Our teachers read us stuff from the Drudge Report and Glen Beck in class, and we all had to read Anthem by ayn rand. I was picked on a lot and got hazed at a summer camp where they made me strip and then threw me into a gross pond i got called gay a lot and was pretty homophobic and right wing because it was the only thing i knew and the only people i really knew were like that as well. I have a lesbian aunt who i love and adore, but it didn't really click for me as a kid that she was gay because the way they talked about homosexuality in school and at the church, you'd think they were demon possessed. So it was easy to think they were like that because, how would you know? You've never met one as far as you can tell.

Our school had really weird social mores about dating. You gotta ask a girls dad if you can court them, lots of girls having really unrealistic Disney like ideas about what dating is, us literally knowing nothing and getting no help from pastors other than "pray about it and God will show you if it's meant to be". I also really didn't like myself and all that shame and guilt about being a sinner for doing totally normal and harmless stuff causes you to really self loathe. As a result i had the social skills of a 13 year old at 18 because I'd only had one girlfriend at 17 and all we did was kiss and hold hands. I graduated from Christian high school with a pretty useless diploma, since i didn't even understand high school science or history and was in fact taught total quack nonsense. I then went to Christian College in Portland, and met people who were gay and Christian which challenged my homophobia because they were gay and i loved them. I didn't want them to go to hell. I came back to California though because I also got together with my high school sweetheart and we got to know each other in a biblical sense. And because i felt so guilty about that and thought i wouldn't be welcome back in church, i left the church.

But then the two of us broke up and it crushed my 13 going on 19 year old heart. I had derailed my life to be with her, because Christians take dating so incredibly seriously. So then i went back to church, but a different, younger more hip church. Think like a hillsong or realityla or something like that. I met some cool people who weren't judgemental and so right wing and i thought that was sick. But i still wasn't sure if i still believed it all, but i really wanted my parents to not disown me. I thought that it would be easier to come out as gay than tell them i wasn't a Christian anymore. I wasn't gay but i certainly was feeling like i didn't believe in it anymore. But to make up for that i got really involved in the college group and even interned for them. But I couldn't help but feel like i was a fraud and like i was too fucked up to be Christian. I also had trouble connecting with a lot of these college guys because they all were waiting for marriage and all they wanted to talk about in small groups is how bad they were for looking at risque dagguerotypes on the world wide web. It was clear i didn't really belong there anymore and one day during a worship service i had the thought that if none of it was real, would i still feel ok? Would it change me from wanting to help others and be loving and compassionate if i wasn't a Christian? And when i realized the answer was yes, i would be OK if it wasn't real, i left the church. Left all of it. Some people stopped talking to me which sucked but it let me know what the score was. My family didn't disown me and we have a healthy relationship still. But the environment of full 360 degree church all the time left me fucked up and I'm still working through everything today.

Sorry for the giant wall of text

U hit the nail on the head. I remember my mom rolled down the windows of her car and yelled yes on prop 8 to some protestors when me and my sister were just kids in the back seat. We all laughed then but now I realize it was kind of fucked up. Some people just hate homosexuals because of the fallout of bad relationships, that's the case for my mom. Her sister was in a bad traditional relationship where she was beaten and abused. The dude left her with three kids. She said fuck it too and bailed on em to go experiment with women and left them in a broken down home. My mom stepped in to care for em and had to deal with suicide attempts and sad shit like that for years during some of her best years of youth.

I think the worse part of Christianity is that you must conform and that you cannot ask questions. But it's good for some people I guess, being able to go to someone bigger than you who is somewhat in control or to congregations is an anchor and helps them cope with reality. Religion is a nice outlet. Especially for the older adults who have been scarred by life. I think it's like akin to skateboarding for some, it's just something you picked up and is always there for you in a time of need.

[Prinzy]

Spent 12 years in Catholic schooling and can confirm shit is unhealthy and counterproductive.

My parents aren’t overly religious, we never went to mass on Sunday’s except holidays and faith was rarely talked about in my house. They sent me to catholic school more so because they went as kids and compared to the lackluster public school in my district, I’d receive a “better” education.

Like many other homies have shared in this thread, the faiths ties with politics fucked me up way more than the actual faith did. I remember when I started looking into politics and world affairs as a 12/13 year old and knowing everyone around me was conservative politically, I just figured I was too. I was thinking “I’m a pretty reserved dude, I must be conservative cause that’s what that word means.”

It wasn’t until the summer going into high school I started doing theater as an extracurricular. I loved it. Met so many quality friends I still have to this day almost 10 years later, shit was awesome for me. It also exposed me to many people who were LGBTQ+. This was around the time gay marriage was up for legalization in the states and the majority of my all boys Catholic high school were very against it, as the f-slur was probably the most commonly used noun amongst the student body. I remember immediately questioning what being a conservative was cause I was appalled by the homophobia. I was just thinking how could all these suburban jock white dudes hate some of my best friends solely cause they’re gay?

Another major issue was just how narrow of a scope Catholic communities have on culture and interests. I didn’t get into skating until mid high school because that just wasn’t really encouraged by the community. Not many kids in my grade school skated because it was looked down upon so heavily, and the ones that did weren’t really skaters, just more so dirt bike/snowboard dudes that happened to own a Black Label complete.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop there. It’s pretty crazy how suppressive a Catholic community can be without outwardly telling you to feel a type of way about something. Nobody ever told me to be homophobic or racist (my mom told me quite the opposite actually) but the fact that the Catholic community I grew up in were those things, i just kinda fell into it before I was old enough to know better. Still bothers me I used to say the f-slur a lot. Word has been scrubbed from my vocabulary for years now, but still it irks me.

Lots of other good stories in here, really appreciate everyone sharing. Sorry if I rambled, just never really discussed this with anyone besides my mom when I graduated high school. Thankfully, we both agree that if we could do it over again, I would’ve gone to the shitty public school.

[Miller92]

Went to church literally every Sunday from 0-16.  Parents are HELLA Christian.  Very good and kind people but backward as fuck with their social politics and acceptance.

Right-wing evangelical shit..

I'm sitting there from 8-16 years old (closeted gay kid, very masculine and straight passing) being told I'm demon-possessed and I'm an abomination doomed to hell.  I'm talking a sermon about this once a month for what seems like my whole childhood.  My internal guilt was immeasurable.

Parents were so confused why I didn't believe in god anymore at 21.

Parents were dumbfounded when I told them I don't agree with conservative ideology politically.

Parents were completely blindsided when their womanizing 25-year-old son came out as gay to them.

It's like my parents were so caught up in being good Christians they forgot to be good parents? 

The church wrecked my perception of self-worth.  Literally would cry every night as a kid praying to god to be straight.

A whole mess of trauma.  Not to mention, aside from the whole gay thing, I never once in my life bought into any of it.

Finding skateboarding at 11 was my new religion and it saved my life.

As I've gotten older I tend to bite my tongue when religion is brought up but holy shit I think all religion is terrible and is truly the root cause of most of the suffering in this world.

[HeavyAndExpensive]

I went to a Catholic school as a matter or course for 13 years. I knew something was up when, at around the 2nd grade I came to a realization that religion/God definitely wasn't for me. You are constantly told that "God loves you" and that you must "love God." Now, I was only 7 or so but my logic was like this: I KNOW I love my mom and dad and little brother etc - I imagined something horrible happening to them and felt sad, real human emotions and responses to someone you love dying. Then I thought about how I'm supposed to love God vs how I feel about my family and realized I feel nothing towards this "God." I felt no sadness at the thought of the "death of God", no sadness at the thought of God not loving me, pure indifference.

[Gene_Harrogate]

Not evangelical, but was raised, baptized, and confirmed as a Catholic, served as an alter boy and everything . Church, and an hour of Sunday school was mandatory every week.  Around the time I was in middle school I started looking for every excuse in the book not to go, sleeping in hoping dad would forget and leave without me, feigning sick, but it never worked. For us, and I think a lot of other catholic families, going to church is just what is expected of you so you do it whether you like it or not and don't question it, you just go, and when you grow up and have kids they're going to go too.  Sort of to @matty_c 's point, aside from the priests sermon, every single part of mass is exactly the same every week.  So much so that it gets to a point where you just drone along with prayers and responses.  By the time I was 17-18 I was fully over it and my parents knew they weren't going to be able to make me keep going, so they didn't push it.  Also by this point, cases of molestation by priests and the church covering it up had really started being brought to light.  So add that disillusionment with an institution I'd spent my whole life in, and the fact that I never really had faith in the first place, it was a done deal. 
    I'm in my late 30's now and haven't gone to church regularly in almost 20 years, and I don't believe in god, but I'd never say that to my parents because I think they'd be bummed (even though I think they kind of know). I guess I still carry some of that catholic guilt!

[in love w/ fs shuvs]

I didn't really mind most of the shit taught but it got so old so fast. There's like only one bible and a lot of that shit is mid. It's just random stories about randos in history. That shit is ill-equipped for providing solutions to modern problems. I had a lot of questions about environmentalism and mindless consumption that the bible/teachers weren't able to answer. I came to realize you can't just pray problems away (coronavirus, etc.); it's up to us to fix our own problems. If someone doesn't roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty, no one else will.

If you ask too many questions tho, it's just labeled blasphemous or something and you end up like a black sheep. Shits stupid. People have done the most fucked up shit in the name of god (crusades, colonizing, manifest destiny). Cant wait for Christianity to go extinct.

[DaleSr]

Nobody ever told me to be homophobic or racist (my mom told me quite the opposite actually) but the fact that the Catholic community I grew up in were those things, i just kinda fell into it before I was old enough to know better. Still bothers me I used to say the f-slur a lot. Word has been scrubbed from my vocabulary for years now, but still it irks me.

Bingo. We have a winner. My mom isn't racist. My dad... Definitely has some moments. But the whole community i was raised in, certainly let's some stuff slip every once and a while.


I also used to use the r slur and f slur a ton and just call things "gay" if i thought it was lame and i had to consciously work really hard to eliminate those words from my vocabulary as well as just eliminate them from being my subconscious response to say

[companguero]

I also used to use the r slur

Honest question: What is the r slur?

You can hide it in the spoiler tag if you’d like to remain respectful

[DaleSr]

Expand Quote

I also used to use the r slur

[close]

Honest question: What is the r slur?


You can hide it in the spoiler tag if you’d like to remain respectful

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

[IUTSM]

Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing

I've got a strange soft spot in me for catholic ritual even though I was never forced to go to Catholic church.

The smallish city (60-70k people) I grew up in had a lot of Catholic Churches (Sacred Heart, Our Lady of Lourdes, St. Anthonys, St. Andrews, St. Marys, St. Jude, Holy Family, St. Jaques, Immaculate Conception are just what I can think of) that were all skate able in one way or another. There were 3 or 4 parochial schools that had skate spots too. I'd always be peeping the stained glass windows at the spots. Aside from that, when I was in my late teens-mid 20s, I got paid by a large Diocese for working at their day camp and group homes for kids. The sisters were the only religious folks who interacted with the kids, ever and there was absolutely no dogma/religion outside the names of the organizations. Both places were sheer madness a lot of the time, but gave poor kids a place to go. A lot of Catholic nuns, at least the old ass sisters I've met, were really intelligent, forward thinking people with hearts of gold who just couldn't get around the God thing. TBH, I've wondered if many of hem were old school Lesbians who needed a way to gain an education and do humanitarian work. I reckon my views come from not having shit shoved down my throat my whole life too...

[RCB3]

Grew up in an evangelical house and was super into all the end times stuff and those Left Behind books. It wasn't even until college when I realized the whole idea of the rapture didn't come about until the 1800's.

If you get the chance, listen to NPR's Throughline: The Evangelical Vote. It's a super fascinating look into how evangelicalism came to the US and how it was used in politics.

Also, it's so insane to me how the church can tell people who are gay that they're welcome to come to their church, but aren't allowed to be on church stuff or hold positions within the church. I feel like that's almost worse than just saying you're not welcome.

I'll still go to church to appease my parents on Easter or the in-laws on holidays, but also drew a line with my family that I won't step foot in a non-affirming church. Someone once made the point that it's like going to a restaurant as a white person in which the restaurant doesn't serve black people. You'd do whatever you could to not support that establishment, so I will never do anything that would support a homophobic church.

[Easy Slider]

I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must 

[Fhk]

I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must 

Any Pals that feel the need to kook you because of your faith or any other reason that causes no harm or disrespect to others is an idiot. Good for you for having the nuggets to speak your mind without fear of judgement.

[SneakySecrets]

Grew up Catholic, even went through Confirmation. Was never into it whatsoever and stopped going the millisecond I could, but I don’t have any personal grudge against the church. 

There were some fruitloops, probable sex offenders, hypocrites etc, but also a lot of really kind, sincere, solid religious people as well. 

I’ve often felt a little jealous that I could never believe like them because there really are a lot of benefits: big social network of likeminded people, structure, sense of belonging, automatic meaning and purpose to your life... seems kinda nice.

[EdLawndale]

I had my first communion and became an alter boy for a period.

The funniest thing I ever remember was there was this family with three sons who were all super agro about the whole affair. One time while being an alter boy, I fumbled the bible on the way to the alter and it bounced on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, I remember hearing one boy remark loudly from the front row, "He dropped the book! You never drop the book!!!"

He got busted for a DUI later in life.

Nowadays, I only go inside churches for funerals, really.

[DaleSr]

I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must 

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy

[Wheelbyte]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp1rL7DI_D4