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hoping the best for his mental health.
have to back up oyolar here. the things suggested weren't that wrong actually imo, but they should be done to maintain a more positive attitude to prevent crisis. they are actually dangerous when there's an acute crisis. fuck, they could be dangerous for you.
in my worst times of depression, in those moments when someone gives you a well meaning "yo, stay positive and call your mom maybe bro" i'd think to myself "shut the fuck up, i just want to off myself and you, too, possibly." it's not helpful at all.
friends and family are no substitute for therapy. actually often they play a big role in why a person's mental health is so bad. sometimes those people need to be avoided or be out of the picture. you don't want to tell someone yo you just gotta reconnect with your parents when those parents might have been violent assholes who never cared about you.
if you think these "tips" are useful for anyone whoever had to deal with clinical depression or suicidal thoughts i have a tip for you: shut the fuck up. keep your tips for when a non clinical depressed homie has a not so ideal day. if you want to help a really depressed friend and you aren't a professional you should probably just help your friend find one of those.
Frank, as somebody that deals with near-constant anxiety/depression (among other issues), I can assure you that you are still the asshole in that situation.
You are really going to fault the people that care about you for trying to help (to the best of their abilities)? I understand that during a mental health crisis, reaching out is the last thing that most feel comfortable doing, but you can't get angry at those who care and are seeing a person they care about suffer and not expect them to tell you to fuck off at some point. Been there.
Still love ya Frank, but I can't act like I'm not shaking/on the verge of tears from how upset that take makes me.
Mental health is NEVER your (my) fault and ALWAYS your (my) responsibility.
this is 100% correct and i totally admit to it. it's a terrible thing to think, or even proclaim to someone you love or are friends with. and i didn't mean to drum up any respect for such thoughts. i was describing the nihilism you end up with. when i was on my lowest, and thoughts like this came up when someone hit me up with some bullshit type advice like "just start to date more women bro" or "just smile a bit more" but quickly vanished because they weren't practical, but dramatic. it's a melodramatic picture about how those hints can end up in a black hole or just create more pressure or more nihilism.
but i still stand by my opinion from my own experience that friends and fam, however well meaning their advices may be, often unknowingly create more pressure for the person they are trying to help, sometimes this is combination of friends and fam overextending and someone being way more gone and distrustful than they know because the depression was hidden for so long already to have everybody save face. support is good and much needed. i think the best recipe to intervene as friends and family is to tell that person that you love it deeply, that you got their back no matter what setbacks on the road to recovery might occure and that there are no obligations to fulfill and you only want to see them happy. and help them deal with the troublesome process of finding out causes for their fear and sadness, physically or psychologically.
and i feel like this dynamic doesn't get mentioned. of course no one that tries to help a friend out of depression is an asshole, but friends and fam have to consider the mindstate of the person they try to help and there should be knowledge about what advise might rather be triggering, for a lack of a better word.
i totally respect your criticism and take it to heart, i didn't want to upset you in any way or trigger you. it sucks that this happened out of a post that was actually about avoiding that stuff and i'm really sorry. but i also hope this post sets some of my initial post straight in terms of friends being assholes for trying to help. if it did come of like that i clearly made a mistake.
fuck, i don't know. maybe i went overboard with how i worded it. i've been on some pretty emotional and almost manic trip myself today and been on the verge of tears a few times today myself. i'm sorry for coming in so hot.
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