The Official Professional Wrestling Thread

[Sativa Lung]

Since I really enjoyed that WFD site (I 've got like 50 tabs of it open) I thought I'd return the favor.

https://www.wrestlecrap.com/

If you're ever stuck somewhere that has locked down wifi and you need something to kill time, this used to be my go-to. I sometimes forget it exists, but they recently relaunched it and like 15-20 years ago it was one of the first sites I knew of that catered to snarky smarks like me. It's kind of like an html predecessor to botchamania and I spent many a day at my desk in Germany laughing at shit on there. This was before the network and YouTube was still in its infancy so this was actually my first exposure to a lot of the wacky shit from places other than the fed.

They even have a column with Russo trying to defend his awful booking, I read like 3 of them and I now believe every single story Cornette tells about him. The inductions get most of the attention but my favorite section was always the jobber of the week though it doesn't look like they're updating it anymore.

[PatrickSkateman]

Since I really enjoyed that WFD site (I 've got like 50 tabs of it open) I thought I'd return the favor.

https://www.wrestlecrap.com/

If you're ever stuck somewhere that has locked down wifi and you need something to kill time, this used to be my go-to. I sometimes forget it exists, but they recently relaunched it and like 15-20 years ago it was one of the first sites I knew of that catered to snarky smarks like me. It's kind of like an html predecessor to botchamania and I spent many a day at my desk in Germany laughing at shit on there. This was before the network and YouTube was still in its infancy so this was actually my first exposure to a lot of the wacky shit from places other than the fed.

They even have a column with Russo trying to defend his awful booking, I read like 3 of them and I now believe every single story Cornette tells about him. The inductions get most of the attention but my favorite section was always the jobber of the week though it doesn't look like they're updating it anymore.

I used to read Wrestlecrap all the time in the early 2000’s. It was my most read website next to Metrospective.com and Crailtap.

I always loved how he would roast all types of gimmicks and angles. Jobber of the Week was great too.

My reason for stopping was because he ran out of content.

[Dante Bichette]

Since I really enjoyed that WFD site (I 've got like 50 tabs of it open) I thought I'd return the favor.

https://www.wrestlecrap.com/

If you're ever stuck somewhere that has locked down wifi and you need something to kill time, this used to be my go-to. I sometimes forget it exists, but they recently relaunched it and like 15-20 years ago it was one of the first sites I knew of that catered to snarky smarks like me. It's kind of like an html predecessor to botchamania and I spent many a day at my desk in Germany laughing at shit on there. This was before the network and YouTube was still in its infancy so this was actually my first exposure to a lot of the wacky shit from places other than the fed.

They even have a column with Russo trying to defend his awful booking, I read like 3 of them and I now believe every single story Cornette tells about him. The inductions get most of the attention but my favorite section was always the jobber of the week though it doesn't look like they're updating it anymore.

The Someone Bought This section really shows how big of an ace Stone Cold was for WWF. What other wrestler (or person in general) has their own branded crossbow, condoms, cologne, and landline phone? I will also be hunting down some of this dumb obscure shit thank you for reminding me of this site.

[SHAQUEEFA]

Holy shit Cornette just made me choke on my drink at work.

Listening to an old episode where he did a rewatch of the 1992 Royal Rumble (Flair wins), he starts talking about Kerry Von Erich and he gets eliminated and Jim says "Well that's not an elimination, both his feet didn't touch the ground."

[Sativa Lung]

So I turned off dynamite at the very beginning because I really didn't want to watch midlife crisis Jericho hanging out with young dudes hoping to steal their essence, and just never turned it back on until the end. I just cannot watch Sammy without kind of hating wrestling. Watching it now, still skipping that.

If you count entrance gear I think the current generation of AEW has the most masks or face paint of any non-lucha company since the 80s.

Buddy and Julia might be the best looking non-talkers in AEW. I don't think you really need a promo when you look that good either. I kinda wish they'd make Julia more of a straight up evil seductress like fallen angel Nancy or just get her more involved in general. I don't understand what that whole lights out segment was about, seemed pointless. Darby was obviously limited so it was kind of meh.

Joe with his weekly great promo, but I always laugh when he does that quietquietquietLOUD delivery.

Man Stokely has been pretty disappointing for me. I feel like hasn't done much and hasn't been particularly great at what he has done.. forgettable lower card stuff.

So are all these matches just going to be "Hook stands around for 5 minutes while Hungle Boy does all the wrestling, then hot tags in for his 30 second spot"? I think he was a little late on the finish there and it looked weird. Matt Hardy looks rough... dudes walking like Hank Hills dad these days.

The family therapy thing was kind of cringe worthy....I think that "doctor" was a porn star, or maybe it was the brazzers level set, editing, and acting. And all that to just say "we want a title shot."

Cage vs BD played out spot for spot almost exactly how I thought it would in my head, complete with the no selling. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not that exciting either. MJF fucking smashed that extra out of his chair haha.

Ruby and Toni sucked. Toni just isn't a heel and the whole "music plays and someone stands at the top of the ramp" distraction finish is maybe the worst trope in all of wrestling.

MJFs promo was fucking great. Reminded me of like a calm Piper promo or something and oh my god I'm stoked to see Thatcher on a major wrestling show again. Ring Kampf was the shit and you know BD is going to be excited to do some gruesome shit with him.

Man you could tell as soon as Lethal and Sonjay came through the curtain it was gonna be emotional. I thought Ian's commentary over the entrance was great and I think nearly every person in the crowd I saw was crying. I kinda lost it when they started chopping the shit out of each other and you could just see how cathartic this shit is for them. Both those dudes love wrestling. Match was pretty good once they settled down, Mark carried it, Lethal played the sacrifice perfectly and it came off about as well as it could. What a picture perfect froggy bow.

The stuff after was great too. I hate that it's gotten to the point I can say this, but AEW is really good at tributes. I have to say that after all that, the perfect way for it to end for me was seeing Joe's big round dumb face smiling at Mark. That cracked me up for some reason.

[Sativa Lung]

Holy shit Cornette just made me choke on my drink at work.

Listening to an old episode where he did a rewatch of the 1992 Royal Rumble (Flair wins), he starts talking about Kerry Von Erich and he gets eliminated and Jim says "Well that's not an elimination, both his feet didn't touch the ground."

HAHAHAHA. Dark humor wrestling jokes are the best.

You know that mystery Titans theater stream/YouTube show I sometimes talk about? Well last show they were watching an 80s wwf match and the ref missed something obvious, and without missing a beat the one dude goes "Well that wouldn't be the last time Joey Marella would be asleep at the wheel."

[SHAQUEEFA]

Dude I wasn't even super familiar with the Briscoes until recently and I definitely cried through most of the match.

You could see Lethal already crying when they shook hands at the beginning and I lost it.

Mark talking to his family through the camera at the end was beautiful.

It's funny these two girls at work yesterday were talking about crying at movies and I chimed in with "I cried on Monday night watching wrestling and I'll probably cry tonight watching wrestling. They had no clue what to think.

I will say I get cry triggered pretty easily. I still cry when I watch Rudy and Cool Runnings. Every. Single. Time.

Just want to say that I love pro wrestling and I'm so happy to have found this cross section of skateboarding wrestling fans to discuss and analyze the greatest form of live theatre that ever existed.

[Sativa Lung]

Same dude, I was never a Briscoes fan until recently (both the ignorant tweets and honestly I thought it was so stupid to wear all the confederate shit while repping fucking Delaware of all places) but I always respect that kind of passion for the business. I'm not super emotional usually but I welled up as soon as I saw Lethal's face and when they went into the chops and you could see the body language change I started to kinda lose it. Then at the end when Mark was talking to his nieces and brother through the camera I fully lost it.

And yeah dude I think it goes without saying this is my favorite thread on here. I could talk wrestling for hours and not get bored. Pro wrestling is such a ridiculous world and there's like 60 years of insanity to go over before you even start to understand how it got this way. It's super cool that there's a little pocket of skaters who share my passion for it and I genuinely get stoked when I see someone post in here. I also love that we get a pretty diverse crowd in terms of what we all watch - AEW is kinda a common thread but we get people who are into the fed, people who are into the indys, people who watch NJPW, and of course people who watch the old stuff.

Speaking of which... Here's a day and a half straight of the wonderful world of Memphis wrestling.

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmaeXs4XvwORjbSjsedFhGpC553j1Ef-3

At the end of part 4 there's a tag match between Lawler/Cowboy Lang and Plowboy Frazier/little Tokyo (with Jimmy Hart on guest commentary). I know some of you listen to Corny and may find this equally hilarious and horrifying for the same reason I do.. Jimmy often tells a story about seeing a Polaroid of Frazier having relations with a midget, which iirc he described as "like a lion mauling a puppy."

[Sativa Lung]

Just watched rampage.

Hangman vs wheely yuta opened. Man Hangman has gone from centerpiece champion to curtain jerking the B show... When are they going to finally do MJF vs Hangman? I guarantee it will be awesome when they do.

Best friends and Danhausen vs Jarrett, lethal, and satnam. Surprisingly good! All the pro wrestling bollocks you'd expect from a match like this in 2023 but I can't deny that I had fun watching it. Did they film this the same night as the Briscoe match? Lethal still looked pretty shook up coming through the curtain.

Why does Ruby always sound like she's about to cry?

Hobbs had a squash. Not much to say except he's awesome.

Hayter vs Sakura was pretty meh. I just don't get Emi Sakura. She's like 5'1 and has unnaturally short legs. I don't care how many joshi she trains, all I see is a stumpy weirdo in a Disney costume screaming all the time for no reason. It doesn't do anything for me. Hayter definitely does though. Fuckin love that chick.

[PatrickSkateman]

This women’s rumble match is great, and I especially love the commentary team of Pat McAfee and Corey Graves. I’ve been cracking up at all of their quips.

Also, Nia Jax’s entire women’s rumble tenure was one big batch.

[PatrickSkateman]

AEW with the dream match next week.

[PatrickSkateman]

This Bloodline storyline has turned out to become one of the greatest storylines in wrestling.

Everyone played their parts to perfection and Roman Reigns will one day be the goat.

[blurst_of_times]

This Bloodline storyline has turned out to become one of the greatest storylines in wrestling.

Everyone played their parts to perfection and Roman Reigns will one day be the goat.

It's amazing how much life they've been able to squeeze out of it. Last Monday's Bloodline segment on Raw legitimately had me on the edge of my seat

[blurst_of_times]

This women’s rumble match is great, and I especially love the commentary team of Pat McAfee and Corey Graves. I’ve been cracking up at all of their quips.

Also, Nia Jax’s entire women’s rumble tenure was one big batch.

That finish was incredible. I would have liked to see any of those last 3 win, but I'm stoked for Rhea.

Also pretty cool that Gunther broke the record for longest amount of time in a match on his first year in the Rumble

[Sativa Lung]

AEW with the dream match next week.

DIE MATTE IST HEILIG.

That's gonna be gruesome in all the best ways. Thatcher is old school and lays them in, so I have to imagine they're going to absolutely batter and make origami out of each other.

[Atiba Applebum]

Why is Roman getting the praise when it’s Sami that has saved this storyline and executed the storyline tonight?

I’ve never particularly liked Roman, his matches, and think the “Acknkwledge Me” sounds desperate, so I’m not particularly fond of him as a bias

[PatrickSkateman]

Why is Roman getting the praise when it’s Sami that has saved this storyline and executed the storyline tonight?

I’ve never particularly liked Roman, his matches, and think the “Acknkwledge Me” sounds desperate, so I’m not particularly fond of him as a bias

Roman’s the biggest draw of all of them.

[PatrickSkateman]

Expand Quote

This women’s rumble match is great, and I especially love the commentary team of Pat McAfee and Corey Graves. I’ve been cracking up at all of their quips.

Also, Nia Jax’s entire women’s rumble tenure was one big batch.

[close]

That finish was incredible. I would have liked to see any of those last 3 win, but I'm stoked for Rhea.

Also pretty cool that Gunther broke the record for longest amount of time in a match on his first year in the Rumble

It’s Rhea’s time.

[PatrickSkateman]

Expand Quote

This Bloodline storyline has turned out to become one of the greatest storylines in wrestling.

Everyone played their parts to perfection and Roman Reigns will one day be the goat.

[close]

It's amazing how much life they've been able to squeeze out of it. Last Monday's Bloodline segment on Raw legitimately had me on the edge of my seat

I’ll say Jey should be the one who finally takes the belt off of Roman.

[Atiba Applebum]

Expand Quote

Why is Roman getting the praise when it’s Sami that has saved this storyline and executed the storyline tonight?

I’ve never particularly liked Roman, his matches, and think the “Acknkwledge Me” sounds desperate, so I’m not particularly fond of him as a bias

[close]

Roman’s the biggest draw of all of them.

Meh - draw is kind of a dead term in the Fed.   This years Wrestlemania sold out long before even a hint of the card emerged and Vince was still running creative. 

Roman rarely has matches so he’s drawing I guess but he’s doing it in that asterisked way.   The shows he has matches on are the ones that would sell out immediately anyways .   

The bloodline storyline is the draw for Smackdowns and he’s a part of that, but not solely the reason.   

That shit was sinking before they did the whole Rock/Mankind thing with getting Sami in there.   

I also can’t trust a fan base that likes Wyatt Lore (or still likes it no matter how many times it’s shown to be the unsatisfying to the equivalency of 100x Game of Thrones final season). 


Roman will never be all time anything until he saturates pop culture the way the real goats have.   I still can’t imagine anyone outside of the wrestling fan base has any idea who he (and probably any current full-timer) is.   

[Mr. Kamikazi]

Women’s Rumble was grand. Rhea Ripley will be a great champion & hopefully be a reason to continue to elevate the Women’s Division.

Men’s rumble was a tad boring although the Ricochet & Logan Paul rope collision was wild, even as someone who is not a fan of either of those two must admit.

Cody Rhodes winning was cool but I did sort of enjoy entertaining the idea that Gunther would win & spoil the predictable outcome of last night. I was also hoping for an RKO return….

Cody Rhodes wins at Mania, then turns heel….?

Kevin Owens put on a great show of getting annihilated as I think I counted ten kicks to him during the whole thing of Sami leaving the Bloodline.

[Atiba Applebum]

I like Rhea a lot and think she has a lot more to offer as the top dog than when Charlotte fucked her out of it.   I do wish she’d dial the makeup costuming back 20%

I can’t see Cody going heel.  I think they’ll want too guy as face and I don’t know if Cody who has publicly stated he never wants to go heel gif his kid’s sake has the heart to be that guy.   He’s aiming to be the Cena who can work

[SHAQUEEFA]

So pitch black means black lights. God that was awful.

Men's rumble was not great besides Gunther and the Logan Paul/ Ricochet spot.

I watch the Rumble for the surprise appearances and all they gave us was booker T for the men.

I really used to like it when like Demolition used to be in there and they would always team up and throw dudes out but as soon it was just the two of them, they would fight each other until someone else came.

Did Kofi even do any type of crazy save?

I fell asleep during the womens rumble but I do remember Chelsea Green. Her coming back was supposed to be kind of a big deal right? And then they just make her look stupid. Wifey told me about how they got Michelle McCool in there and that was neat.

Slept through the Bliss/ Bel Air match but I can't imagine they did anything too awesome.

Main event was OK, the Bloodline story has been excellent so we'll see what happens next.

And now they do a press conference afterwards like AEW? HA!

[PatrickSkateman]

So pitch black means black lights. God that was awful.

Men's rumble was not great besides Gunther and the Logan Paul/ Ricochet spot.

I watch the Rumble for the surprise appearances and all they gave us was booker T for the men.

I really used to like it when like Demolition used to be in there and they would always team up and throw dudes out but as soon it was just the two of them, they would fight each other until someone else came.

Did Kofi even do any type of crazy save?

I fell asleep during the womens rumble but I do remember Chelsea Green. Her coming back was supposed to be kind of a big deal right? And then they just make her look stupid. Wifey told me about how they got Michelle McCool in there and that was neat.

Slept through the Bliss/ Bel Air match but I can't imagine they did anything too awesome.

Main event was OK, the Bloodline story has been excellent so we'll see what happens next.

And now they do a press conference afterwards like AEW? HA!

I believe Chelsea Green came back to play a comedic character just like her husband and her Rumble appearance was meant to solidify that.

https://www.cagesideseats.com/platform/amp/wwe/2023/1/30/23578046/chelsea-green-new-wwe-gimmick-karen-video-royal-rumble-fastest-elimination-complain

[Atiba Applebum]

So pitch black means black lights. God that was awful.

Men's rumble was not great besides Gunther and the Logan Paul/ Ricochet spot.

I watch the Rumble for the surprise appearances and all they gave us was booker T for the men.

I really used to like it when like Demolition used to be in there and they would always team up and throw dudes out but as soon it was just the two of them, they would fight each other until someone else came.

Did Kofi even do any type of crazy save?

I fell asleep during the womens rumble but I do remember Chelsea Green. Her coming back was supposed to be kind of a big deal right? And then they just make her look stupid. Wifey told me about how they got Michelle McCool in there and that was neat.

Slept through the Bliss/ Bel Air match but I can't imagine they did anything too awesome.

Main event was OK, the Bloodline story has been excellent so we'll see what happens next.

And now they do a press conference afterwards like AEW? HA!

Kofi has botched the spot two years in a row.  In his defense, it’s getting harder and harder to outdo himself, so the margin for error has been getting slimmer and slimmer.   He got a face full of desk edge for his trouble, which didn’t seem pleasant.   

I like RR for the surprises but they gave away Cody’s return no matter how obvious it was that he was returning.    It’s still fun to have that suspicion confirmed.   

I do with they would run a Rumble/Royale where the entrants actually compete and not kill time.   All the time someone gets saved from going over bc someone just decides to start attacking the guy just has gotten too much for me.   I understand why, it just annoys me

Walter vs Brock can be good, but I’m worried about the booking.  Brock has lost wayyy too much in the past few years.   It hasn’t affected his mystique, but it’s a weird spot where Lashley should go over him and Walter should as well in order to build up the full-timers/the future, but there’s only so many losses Brock could presumably take (or shoot want to take)

[Sativa Lung]

I guess Joe came out and said that all the WWE firings were basically Vince feuding with Hunter behind the scenes and doing his typical "power move" bullshit.  Destroying people's careers and livelihoods is literally a game to him. Wrestling is going to be so much better when he finally fucks off.

Instead of the rumble I spent the last few nights watching old battle royals. Paul Boesch in Houston did these 2 ring ones where you'd have to get thrown into the other ring first, then thrown out of that to be eliminated...WCW kind of ripped it off with ww3 but I'm not sure if Boesch originated it or stole it from someone else. They'd have 20 guys in the ring for the introductions and since this was still kayfabe the heels would stand on one side of the ring and the good guys on the other side. Sometimes there'd even be a tweener who stood in the middle. They were typically star studded affairs with like Andre or Brody or Dusty too, their roster was incredibly strong. The whole thing typically took about 20 minutes with loads of eliminations and not a lot of time wasting, so it might be closer to what you're hoping to see in the modern setting Atiba. Lemme know if you wanna see one.

The AWA used to run just classic battle Royales all the time as just part of their normal cards, but they also sometimes did tag team ones and even ones for the title. If you grew up on mid-late 80s wwf the ones from the early 80s are particularly interesting because they're basically a rumble with the lineup from the first few manias. Vince raided probably 60% of his stars directly from Verne around that period, so it's like Mean Gene calling Hogan, Slaughter, Andre, Heenan etc but for a different company..those could be pretty plodding and time wastey though.

I come across a lot of random shit that I think about posting here and then forget about or decide its too obscure, but this is pretty fun.

https://m.facebook.com/WrestlePlug/videos/nwa-wrestlers-take-on-the-charlotte-police-in-1988-in-a-basketball-game-lol/335039660799790/

I love watching wrestlers genuinely compete in shit like this. They took it pretty seriously so it's fun to see the different styles of play. Some of it is exactly what you'd expect, Lex Luger chasing the ball around like a big dumb dog shouldn't surprise anyone, but I definitely wasn't expecting Dusty to be  running the court and draining 3's or Sting to genuinely be the most athletic guy on the court.

[Atiba Applebum]

Don’t get me wrong Vince sucks more than Hunter, but there was definitely some communication breakdown between what they were developing in NXT and what was working on the roster.   

NXT was a vastly superior product, but I don’t know why they thought Vince would all of a sudden like that kind of wrestling, so it was almost irresponsible to hire them and give them that hope in the first place.   They were the only game in town and they were obviously hiring the best wrestlers out there, but it was always a foreseeable conclusion.   

Seth Rollins might be the only one to excel and be the top guy in both?   (Drew didn’t get to be top guy too long on Raw and was cursed with bad timing and Owens always felt upper-mid in Vince’s eyes).  Women are obviously a different story.   

[SHAQUEEFA]

Dude thats a great point. Look at the recent NXT champs from the last 5-8 years and see what they are doing. Half of them are either at catering or AEW.

Keith Lee
Bobby Roode
Andrade
Adam Cole
Karrion Kross (isn't at catering just yet but give it time)
Shinsuke Nakamura

[Sativa Lung]

I think we can all agree that Vince coming back is the worst. It's only a matter of time before he's back in control of creative and forcing his old, tired, slightly homoerotic idea of wrestling down the audiences throat again. I can't really hold it against HHH for trying to get his guys on TV and move them up the food chain, but I can definitely hold it against Vince for firing them just to swing his dick around. The more the facade rips the more its become evident that Mr. McMahon wasn't that much of a character and he really is the epitome of evil greedy old man. Dude is a scrooge who didn't listen to his ghosts. His gravestone better have a drain installed because there's going to be a mile long line of people he's fucked waiting to piss on it.

I honestly don't feel like I'm missing much though. AEW might never be as big as WWE, but at least I can watch it and not feel like I need to take a shower.

Shaqueefa have you ever listened to Bobby Blaze's podcast/YouTube? It's kinda funny to hear a jobbers perspective on some of the famous people and events. He does a bunch of lists that I've been listening to on and off over the past few weeks.

[Atiba Applebum]

Let’s not forget, the evil Mr McMahon character was a direct result of the Montreal Screwjob