Author Topic: Death  (Read 1252 times)

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ok boomer

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Death
« on: October 07, 2021, 08:04:04 AM »
I haven't spent too much time thinking about "where do we go when we die?" or anything until the last few years. I had my son when I was 38 (late to da game), and I still hadn't really thought about it, until his first birthday. Something just came over me like "wow, I wonder how much time I have left?", and its been a nagging thought in my head since. My dad died when I was 25 and I didn't even think about my own impending doom then. Something about watching a growing child set it off. I'm not religious at all, even though I find the stories extremely interesting. I would say I'm more agnostic (front - oi oi oi!) , not an atheist. But trying to add all of this up in my head - do you go to heaven and see your loved ones? Does it just end and you are completely over and don't even know? Stuff can drive one nuts. My one dog (my best bud by far) died back in June and the thoughts have been in my head again. My wife sent me this video of "how your pets greet you in heaven" (dog running to you) nailed me pretty bad. She is aware that I have not been the same since. Our other dog is basically her dog and doesn't even come to me when I get home, lol.

I've had some other thoughts of: If I KNEW it was my last day of life, what would I do? Assuming I'm not in a death bed that is. What I came up with was: I would drive around my town and say goodbye to the places I have great memories at. Where I first skated, the baseball field I played at as a kid, the farmers market where I've bought most of my XMas trees in my life (with my dad before and now with my son). I would definitely smoke cigarettes. I would tell my best friend that I love him and he was like a brother to me - and always stood by me even at my worst and he has had more respect from me than anyone else that wasn't my dad. I would watch Empire Strikes Back (my favorite movie growing up), H-Street Hokus Pokus and Plan B Questionable. Try to get in one last GOOD kickflip. Play catch with my son. I would thank my wife for pulling me out of my self-hatred / destruction and getting me to love life again, and that she is a great person and deserves so much happiness. And tell my son that he was my greatest achievement and gift in this world, and nothing has meant more to me than him. I would remind him to always tell the truth and never give up on anything. Always work hard and good things will come. Hopefully then pass peacefully with those 2 at my side. If I was on a death bed, I would just talk to my wife and son only. That would be enough.

I was with my dad when he was dying. He was gasping for air, then looked me in the eye, said " I love you" right before he stopped breathing. I feel like I got so lucky on that one.

Anyone have thoughts on what happens, where we go, etc. ?

Frank and Fred

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Re: Death
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2021, 09:30:44 AM »
Great subject and one we should ponder and talk about more often. Death contemplation is important for well-being.

Its interesting to speculate but ultimately I feel like we are not supposed to know as we have to learn to be comfortable in and sit with the 'great unknown' and/ or potential oblivion. It's good for the ego to consider that one day there will be no 'me.'

I had a kid at 30 and it also spawned the same questions you have. I spent a good year pondering these questions and wrestling with my own inevitable demise. One exercise I learned to help me cope was in a book called 'The End of Fear.' The book was written by two therapists who counseled terminally ill AIDs patients. It involves walking around a city for an hour or so and every person you see, look at them and say to yourself, one day they too will  die. I'd do this and sometimes imagine some causes and timelines for their deaths. This might sound like an incredibly depressing macabre exercise but by the time you are done, it feels strangely liberating.

Anyway that doesn't answer your question but I'm backing Death Contemplation.

The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears, and swords. Being carried away by surging waves. Being thrown into the midst of a great fire. Being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake. Falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease, or committing seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day, without fail, one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. -Ghost Dog
« Last Edit: October 07, 2021, 08:35:42 PM by Frank and Fred »

SneakySecrets

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Re: Death
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2021, 09:32:00 AM »
Jesus fucking Christ, way to keep it light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7VaISCrlUg&feature=share

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JB

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Re: Death
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2021, 09:46:00 AM »
I think about it from time to time. Thinking that I'll see both of my parents die, pretty much all of my family from them, possibly my wife and my kids, it's all completely possible from so many different outcomes. There's really no way to predict any of it though, death is just part of life. One day it will all be over for all of us.

The thing that fucked me up the most in thinking about my own death came right after I had a kid too. She was born when I was 31, and right when she started kinda talking, like she could say "Da" for Dad, I remember thinking of me being dead and her looking at my body saying "Da!" "Da!". Not like I was suicidal, I just had the thought of "what if I died?" and thinking about not being there for her tore me the fuck up. 

Seventyfuhkinseven

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Re: Death
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2021, 09:52:09 AM »
I haven't spent too much time thinking about "where do we go when we die?" or anything until the last few years. I had my son when I was 38 (late to da game), and I still hadn't really thought about it, until his first birthday. Something just came over me like "wow, I wonder how much time I have left?", and its been a nagging thought in my head since. My dad died when I was 25 and I didn't even think about my own impending doom then. Something about watching a growing child set it off. I'm not religious at all, even though I find the stories extremely interesting. I would say I'm more agnostic (front - oi oi oi!) , not an atheist. But trying to add all of this up in my head - do you go to heaven and see your loved ones? Does it just end and you are completely over and don't even know? Stuff can drive one nuts. My one dog (my best bud by far) died back in June and the thoughts have been in my head again. My wife sent me this video of "how your pets greet you in heaven" (dog running to you) nailed me pretty bad. She is aware that I have not been the same since. Our other dog is basically her dog and doesn't even come to me when I get home, lol.

I've had some other thoughts of: If I KNEW it was my last day of life, what would I do? Assuming I'm not in a death bed that is. What I came up with was: I would drive around my town and say goodbye to the places I have great memories at. Where I first skated, the baseball field I played at as a kid, the farmers market where I've bought most of my XMas trees in my life (with my dad before and now with my son). I would definitely smoke cigarettes. I would tell my best friend that I love him and he was like a brother to me - and always stood by me even at my worst and he has had more respect from me than anyone else that wasn't my dad. I would watch Empire Strikes Back (my favorite movie growing up), H-Street Hokus Pokus and Plan B Questionable. Try to get in one last GOOD kickflip. Play catch with my son. I would thank my wife for pulling me out of my self-hatred / destruction and getting me to love life again, and that she is a great person and deserves so much happiness. And tell my son that he was my greatest achievement and gift in this world, and nothing has meant more to me than him. I would remind him to always tell the truth and never give up on anything. Always work hard and good things will come. Hopefully then pass peacefully with those 2 at my side. If I was on a death bed, I would just talk to my wife and son only. That would be enough.

I was with my dad when he was dying. He was gasping for air, then looked me in the eye, said " I love you" right before he stopped breathing. I feel like I got so lucky on that one.

Anyone have thoughts on what happens, where we go, etc. ?

Having read this I got to say you are a good fucking dude. I hope you enjoy a long life with that wife and kid of yours.
Ironically our last day bucket list is almost identical. Especially the kick flip, watching hokus pokus , and I would buy a friggin carton of Marb reds.

Kanye Omari West

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Re: Death
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2021, 09:55:27 AM »
I always picture that when you die you don't know it. You keep on living in another reality and how you die transitions into just whatever your life was going to be. Or when you die you rewatch your entire life all over again. Something dumb like that.

Loki700

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Re: Death
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2021, 10:50:35 AM »
One quick note, nearly everyone is agnostic, since that basically answers whether you think the existence of a god can be definitively proven and known.  Whether you think a god exists or not is a different question, and saying that you're not sure what you think is just as valid as a yes or a no.

As far as what happens to us after we die?  I think we cease to be and the components of our body become just another part of the universe again and decay.  In my opinion this is what gives life meaning, and why how we treat each other matters so much.  It's also why all of the suffering in the world is so reprehensible, especially when we have the means to make it so most people don't have to suffer.

I do hope I'm wrong though.  There are many people that I've known for too short a time that I would like to see again once I die.
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mushroom slice

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Re: Death
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2021, 12:33:47 PM »
If you could live forever would you? What would be the point of living forever?I think to understand death you have to understand life. One cannot happen without the other. What is it to be alive?  I think this life that we have is the most limited form of existence that we will ever know. Death isnít the end of anything. I like to think of it as a way for our souls to upgrade into better skins. New gear for school. Those of us who did really well last semester  get to be a dog or cat or some other animal. Those of us that blew it and fucked off last semester have to be a person again.

RichardBarkley

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Re: Death
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2021, 12:42:23 PM »
Reading this has completely changed my evening.

Such a terrifying thought.

Contemplating consciousness is scary. My friend died last Xmas. I do often wonder if he is still existing somewhere on some level. His consciousness lives on.
I want to fight you so badly richard
Please give me your address ill make it my life goal to punsh your face in

SneakySecrets

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Re: Death
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2021, 12:43:38 PM »
If you could live forever would you? What would be the point of living forever?I think to understand death you have to understand life. One cannot happen without the other. What is it to be alive?  I think this life that we have is the most limited form of existence that we will ever know. Death isnít the end of anything. I like to think of it as a way for our souls to upgrade into better skins. New gear for school. Those of us who did really well last semester  get to be a dog or cat or some other animal. Those of us that blew it and fucked off last semester have to be a person again.

Youíd be so fucked when all the other stuff on earth dies and then the sun will expand and fry your ass, then eventually the sun explodes so then youíre just floating around in space waiting for the universe to peeter out and wonder if you will finally die with it or if you will somehow outlive the universe itself and then what?  Youíre just alive forever without even a universe because you thought itíd be real cute to see what 2342 a.d. looked like but you didnít think for the long term, Einstein.
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4LOM

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Re: Death
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2021, 12:48:26 PM »
Since the mind (probably) is caused by and realized in the brain, when the brain ceases to be, the mind ceases to be. Just as the hum of the engine is gone when the engine is off.

That's the good news, since, if death is nothing, it's better than being alive.

If death is nothingness, it is like the nothingness of being under anesthesia.

Under anesthesia you feel no pain, which is good (you don't want to feel the surgeons knife)
You don't feel pleasure, but that's not bad.

Being alive, you feel pleasure, which is good
But you feel pain, which is bad.

Since death is like anesthesia, it's better than being alive.
Since, it's better to have good and no bad than good and bad.
 

JB

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Re: Death
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2021, 12:55:01 PM »
What would be the point of living forever?

I don't know why humans as a species have to be so fascinated with eternal life after death. Whats so bad about it just being over? Why do we need to start again as something else? Why do we need heaven and hell? Why do we even care, we'll be dead.

I also think the idea of putting bodies in expensive boxes, burying them in expensive plots of land and covering them with an expensive stone is completely absurd. I Almost feel the need to build my own casket so my family doesn't have to pay for one. Also, if you get cremated, does the casket go in too? If not, does it get used for the next person? I'm curious because my brother was cremated, and I saw the price of his casket when we picked it out. It just seems wasteful. This whole paragraph might sound ridiculous, but when I'm gone, I want people to just get rid of me. I don't need to take up any more space.

JANUS

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Re: Death
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2021, 12:59:42 PM »
If you can't handle me at my Marc Johnson, you don't deserve me at my Bobby Puleo.

mushroom slice

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Re: Death
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2021, 01:09:28 PM »
Every time you go to sleep you go to where you go when you die. A lesson of death in every dream.

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: Death
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2021, 01:17:16 PM »
@ok boomer

My man, what you shared was really beautiful. Very cool. Thank you for that.

Ima post back when I'm not at work with a bunch of kids and full of life. Can't start getting deep right now  :o

Thank you for starting this conversation
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Re: Death
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2021, 06:13:12 PM »
Who knows, go for a skate while you can! :-)))
"Skateboarding is like jacking off, it's that good." - Jeremy Klein

brycickle

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Re: Death
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2021, 06:15:19 PM »
If you could live forever would you?
Only if I could be the Highlander. Duncan though, not Connor.

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of retarded kids and a van full of paraplegics.



theloniousmonk

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Re: Death
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2021, 07:10:01 PM »
We are source energy in a physical body manifestation. Death is sometimes needed to get to a better place with less resistance. Check out Abraham Hicks for more about that

os89

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Re: Death
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2021, 08:14:01 PM »
My money is on it being the same as before you were born. If there isn't a "pre-heaven", I personally am not just going to assume there is one in the end.

Hope I look sexy when I die though, like out dancing the night away doing the worm (gotta learn that first) and I'm not like jerking off caught dead with my dick in my hand or something.

Odds are on dick in my hand though


Sila

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Re: Death
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2021, 08:31:03 PM »
I think about it all the time. Especially last year. My mother suddenly lost her best friend to cancer, she's gettin older herself and my cat was attacked by a huge dog and I thought that was it for him, but he came through. A friend drowned in an accident this year aswell. Other friends are on the edge battling heroin addictions. I've had heavy periods of being suicidal aswell so thoughts of death are rarely just in the background for. Within 5 years both of my pets and my parents might not be around anymore, that will be a massive change.

I really think we should be acknowledging death more than we do in our society, not just death as being the end of life but being a core reason to make the world better and be good to eachother while we are here.

Frank and Fred

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Re: Death
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2021, 08:33:45 PM »
Without death there is no life. Ultimately it is a beautiful thing.

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Re: Death
« Reply #21 on: October 08, 2021, 01:20:33 AM »
Not religious and cannot imagine in believing anything beyond what science can prove. I cannot really be bothered what happens afterwards I just want to live a life worth living. Not talking about luxury either, but an average comfortable life when some minor inconvenience can get you riled up and then you laugh at yourself when you realize how spoiled you really are.

This summer, my grandpa died of cancer, basically died from not eating for 3 weeks straight. There was no dignity in his end, he was scared to go, even at 87 years old. Three more grandparents left still and they are quite healthy for now.

My not yet 7 year old (first ever) dog has cancer that has spread all over her lungs. Not sure if there is anything we can do for her now but to ease the symptoms and wait until it gets so bad we'll have euthanize her. Will know for sure today or on Monday. Somehow, this brings me to most sadness - not being able to talk to you dog about what's going on.

Wife has gone down the spiritual rabbit hole and firmly believes in reincarnation. I cannot get behind this, because there is really no consensus on how this stuff works and every other spiritual guide preaches their own version and you get to believe in the one that gives you the most peace of mind. One theory is that our dog's spirit will wait and reincarnate with ours' in the next life, but that seems way too convenient for me. I feel like we should threat this life as our only one and make the most of it, but that is coming from someone who has not experienced any really gnarly hardship (yet). I can understand that abused children would like a do-over life.

matty_c

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Re: Death
« Reply #22 on: October 08, 2021, 01:36:10 AM »
I dunno, I donít wanna trash anyoneís religion but I reckon the brain is like ram or something and the body is the battery, kill the battery kill the ram
listen to cosmic psychos

BALARGUE

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Re: Death
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2021, 01:38:20 AM »
Dust

ok boomer

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Re: Death
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2021, 07:01:00 AM »
My money is on it being the same as before you were born. If there isn't a "pre-heaven", I personally am not just going to assume there is one in the end.

Hope I look sexy when I die though, like out dancing the night away doing the worm (gotta learn that first) and I'm not like jerking off caught dead with my dick in my hand or something.

Odds are on dick in my hand though

About 8 years ago, a friend of mine talked about exactly this scenario and the dude deleted all of his porn collection and has vowed to never whack it again. He told me there was nothing worse than the idea of cops kicking in his door and seeing his dead hand giving himself a kung fu grip.

ok boomer

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Re: Death
« Reply #25 on: October 08, 2021, 07:10:00 AM »
Seeing this thing in Denmark a while ago, where the nurses waived their smoking ban to let this guy have one last cigarette while watching the sunset on his way out - made me happy/sad



My "fear" of death I even have tattooed on myself. My right shoulder has death riding down on his pale horse to collect a soul, and the lost soul is trying to fend him off.

In some ways though, I feel like I've kinda had a pretty full life. I had a pretty good childhood (minus some bad shit / situations in there). I definitely was out of control for a long time and my wife (then son later) grounded me.

Much like Rockstar energy drink, this song just hits different once you have a kid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTfwbtVVtAY

For the longest time, this song had my brain associated to Rodney Mullen skating, which also made me happy though.

If I could save time in a bottle
 The first thing that I'd like to do
 Is to save every day
 'Til eternity passes away
 Just to spend them with you
 
If I could make days last forever
 If words could make wishes come true
 I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
 Again, I would spend them with you
 
[Chorus]
 But there never seems to be enough time
 To do the things you want to do
 Once you find them
 I've looked around enough to know
 That you're the one I want to go
 Through time with
 
If I had a box just for wishes
 And dreams that had never come true
 The box would be empty
 Except for the memory
 Of how they were answered by you

ok boomer

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Re: Death
« Reply #26 on: October 08, 2021, 07:26:18 AM »
I think about it all the time. Especially last year. My mother suddenly lost her best friend to cancer, she's gettin older herself and my cat was attacked by a huge dog and I thought that was it for him, but he came through. A friend drowned in an accident this year aswell. Other friends are on the edge battling heroin addictions. I've had heavy periods of being suicidal aswell so thoughts of death are rarely just in the background for. Within 5 years both of my pets and my parents might not be around anymore, that will be a massive change.

I really think we should be acknowledging death more than we do in our society, not just death as being the end of life but being a core reason to make the world better and be good to each other while we are here.

Agree. I'm not gonna lie - I was a complete asshole for a long period of my life (you know - hate thyself and take it out on everyone else style). BUT I saw the error of my ways probably 15 years ago, and generally speaking, I'm pretty chill out in the world. But I always hold doors open for everyone and if I can tell someone is bummed (even strangers), I make sure to talk to them (sort of my way of fixing what I needed I think). My wife was kinda razzing me about this before ("Mr. Social over here taking 2 hours to get the paper") , but recently admitted that she wishes she could just talk to people as easy as I do. But I'm big on treating people the way you want to be treated, and also karma. Been teaching my son a bit about that too: he'll be like "dad theres a spider!" and I catch them and take them outside - never kill them. Have not killed an insect (on purpose of course) since 1994 or 1995.

SneakySecrets

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Re: Death
« Reply #27 on: October 08, 2021, 09:15:34 AM »
Spiders arenít insects though.  You can kill them with impunity.
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mushroom slice

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Re: Death
« Reply #28 on: October 08, 2021, 09:42:29 AM »
Spiders represent the infinite possibilities of creation. Killing them is foolish and bad luck.

Cthulhu!

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Re: Death
« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2021, 10:01:20 AM »
About 15 years ago I became quite ill. I made peace with it. I was miserable and even found myself longing for it at times. I am not afraid of death. Obviously I don't want to go in some horrid situation but I am ok with the after. I remember thinking, ok this is it! Goodbye everyone. The next day it was, alright it's happening today probably. No? Nothing? Are you sure? And so on it went until I got better.

I felt like someone that was about to run a race, I had my feet on the starting blocks and I was crouched down ready to go, but nothing happened. Since then I feel like I've been floating through. I think in some ways it left me jaded.

I was at a nicer dinner with a girl I was seeing at the time, somehow the topic of reincarnation was brought up, she mentioned how exciting it would be to reincarnate continuously so you could live forever. I found the idea so distasteful I almost fell out of my chair. She felt completely alien to me following that, and I broke it off shortly after.

To add to this, I almost died a few years ago. Bad storm. Tornado. The whole thing was very Florida. But that ordeal left me feeling even more weirded out. I've felt disconnected from everything. Also, I wound pass this spot https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlatelolco_massacre frequently growing up. I think it might have left me with some warped sense of things. I don't know what I'm talking about.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2021, 09:32:43 PM by Cthulhu! »