Author Topic: Times you nearly died  (Read 1330 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 740
  • Rep: 40
Times you nearly died
« on: October 15, 2021, 11:17:24 AM »
Got a few near death stories. I assume everyone else does too.
I'll start with just two. Category drowning.

1. Probably age 15 went out to this lake in the bush with some mates with a cliff you can jump off. It had this underwater tunnel you could go thru to the other side of the lake that was probably about 20m long. I was decent at swimming/not great but I could swim a backyard pool underwater easy so I thought it would be fine. All my friends go thru so I follow but I didn't take into account it was like 3m deep just to get into the tunnel and when I'm about 3m into the tunnel I'm already kinda fucked.
I push on anyway but I'm kind of tall and it's really awkward I keep hitting my hands and head on the top then when I try to adjust I'll hit my chest or kick the bottom
 I'm barely halfway and I'm pretty much out of breath so I start like army crawling along the bottom as fast as I can towards the bitof light I can see then I eventually get out and it's 3m back up to the surface and I'm pretty much blacking out. I don't even really remember getting to the top. Luckily one of my friends noticed I was taking too long and pulled me up.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 740
  • Rep: 40
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2021, 11:42:57 AM »
2. About age 17. Was up the coast where there was this little bay thing with cliffs on both sides  about 100m apart and about 400m out was a shark net. It was night and me and a friend who had been drinking for some reason thought it would be a good idea to swim out to the shark net. So in we go (I'm now much better at swimming and my friend is a legit swimmer) and get to the net really fast and then just hang off it having a dumb d and m that 17 year olds would have about how we were best friends for years but aren't really anymore blah blah let's just be friends like before ok then blah blah maybe a half hour passes
Then like a fucking meter away there's a massive splash and we realise how dumb it is to be hanging onto the shark net so we're like fuck it and try to swim back in to shore. Were swimming like crazy and I'm a little scared there's a fucking shark but my arms are burning so i stop to look up and I'm like barely 20m from the shark net my friend who's swimming next to me also stops and were just like wtf and keep trying.I don't know if it's a rip or the tide but we can't fucking get anywhere.
Then I feel this massive pull on my leg and I'm getting pulled under. For a second I'm like no fucking way the shark got me this sucks. But then I realise it's my friend wrestling me under. He is panicking and just trying to keep himself afloat so I punch the shit out of him and get like 2m away. We face off for a bit and it's like we have to just keep swimming but he has gone animal brain and just grabs me again so we fight I get away and try to bail on him. He is a faster swimmer than me so he catches up easy and drags me under a third time so I'm really fucking him up punching him in the head and kicking him. Now we're just kind of staying a few feet apart and everytime he comes near me I kick him away.
Were both fucking exhausted and this bullshit hasn't helped so I'm like fuck it and swim back to the shark net and my friend follows. We just hold onto it for like twenty minutes then work out way to the side where it's attached then drag ourselves back along the cliff.
We really weren't friends after that.

charge

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 111
  • Rep: 16
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2021, 12:49:43 PM »
seems like maybe you should stop swimming

in love w/ fs shuvs

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 347
  • Rep: -8
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2021, 03:40:15 PM »
Almost drowned at a lake as a kid trying to swim in an area with thick vines. Moral of the story: do not fuck with undesignated swimming areas.

Needles to say, i don't swim anymore.
"Skateboarding is like jacking off, it's that good." - Jeremy Klein

os89

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3211
  • Rep: 830
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2021, 03:53:02 PM »
Anytime I drive and successfully like, uh, don't die from some other asshole driver or a random mechanical failure, I'm amazed.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2021, 06:35:00 PM by os89 »

EdLawndale

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1954
  • Rep: 178
    • My Wife
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2021, 04:15:46 PM »
Those were pretty good stories, Mean salto.
"Was just about to say, wtf is up with this EdLawndale guy?"

TheBoognish

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 707
  • Rep: 64
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2021, 04:19:18 PM »
Got caught in an avalanche while ski touring in the Rogers Pass backcountry back in 2013. It wasnít a big one and I was fine, just a little dinged up, but having to have your friends dig you out was scary as hell. Being buried under 18 inches of snow is a lot scarier than it sounds. Luckily my friends knew what they were doing, because I was face-down and it could have been ugly.

Two years ago I was supposed to go on a backcountry mission in the Chic-Choc region of Quebec but couldnít get time off from work, so my friends went without me. A friend of mine died in an avalanche during that trip, in a chute Iíve skiied at least 20 times, knew like the back of my hand, and one I was quite eager to ski again. Could have been me. Havenít touched my skiis since, I think Iím done.

Eskorbut0

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 316
  • Rep: -1
  • Be careful what you wish for
  • User posts join approval queueModerated
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2021, 05:16:58 PM »
Never had a bad trip or anything . But I have put myself in some plain stupid and dangerous situations while on shrooms in the past. Probably the closest Iíve been to death or serious injury no doubt. Be careful out there you all!!!

buffalo hunter

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 290
  • Rep: 24
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2021, 05:24:11 PM »
Got hit by a drunk driver going 50 mph in a subdivision riding my tricycle when I was 5 yrs old. No serious injuries. While ice fishing at 7 yrs old wandered to close to the shore and fell threw the ice. Luckily, I pulled myself up from the edge of the ice where it broke off.

SneakySecrets

  • Trade Count: (+4)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5607
  • Rep: 955
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2021, 07:41:33 PM »
Swallowed my tongue in the 6th grade.
Shoe size: 6.5
Shirt size: 3X
Pants: 42-44W  24-26L
Helmet size: XS

shredder sequel

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 182
  • Rep: 48
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2021, 07:49:12 PM »
My heart stopped when I was 7. I got a pacemaker and things have been chill since.

lilboosie

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 621
  • Rep: 91
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2021, 08:29:22 PM »
does bleeding out count cause i completely severed my ulnar artery.

that was a crazy natural high ill tell you hwhat

sizzle_chest

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 302
  • Rep: -9
  • Kookin' Ain't Easy
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2021, 08:40:03 PM »
I fully died on shrooms but it was just deja vu.
This whole stanceless shit is garbage itís more Steve Berra confusion. Someone needs to dose this man out just put a ton of liquid acid in his coffee or something he has to stop.

Paco Supreme

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3841
  • Rep: 302
  • One Trick Pony
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2021, 12:58:28 AM »
The amount of asshole drivers that will blow past a red in front of me most morning is too frequent to count. Road cycling rules, the constant near misses donít

behavioralguide

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1734
  • Rep: 458
  • dog stuff
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2021, 01:24:06 AM »
For a second I'm like no fucking way the shark got me this sucks.

Stan energy,

thanks
hardflip the legal code bich
Everyone hating couldn't record 1 episode of Viva' La Bam

TheBoognish

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 707
  • Rep: 64
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2021, 05:24:53 AM »
I fully died on shrooms but it was just deja vu.

Iíve been there more than once as well.

newguy

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 323
  • Rep: 19
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2021, 06:27:45 AM »
Fuck me that underwater tunnel thing gave me some really bad vibes because I did something stupid like that and nearly drowned too.

I almost fell off a mountain last year, trekking with friends off the beaten path, all of us grew on hiking and summer camps in mountainous areas, so we were fucking around on these massive screes. Sun is beaming my dome like crazy, I stop to drink some water and all of a sudden the entire fucking mountain starts to slide down the slope towards a slope. I somehow spotted a tree in there and managed to hold on before I slipped off straight to heaven. I havenít hiked since, anyone reading this, please never ever fuck with a massive scree, this things can kill you in seconds.

Almost got crushed by an SUV burning a red light last week, luckily I have fast reflexes and I lunged forward off my board. Had to wait for the old cunt driving to reverse so I could pick my board. I donít know how I resisted the urge to knock off a side mirror, guess the mocking honks from other drivers and bystanders yelling at him helped. Still got to spit on a Porsche SUV, so kind of a win really.

Think thatís all really, itís sort of humorous that I never hurt myself skateboarding, only ever got hurt doing basic things or activities lol

Hinna

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1329
  • Rep: 65
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2021, 08:52:02 PM »
the earliest was when i was like 3 or 4 apparently i snuck out or something idk and ran out into the street and a truck screeched to a halt a few inches away from my head. almost knocked out underwater swimming in a lake hitting my head on the hull of a sailboat because my friend i started sk8ing with and i were doing underovers. once some idiot sped through a red and i told my friend to stop. missed us by a few feet. there was a time when someone emptied a clip in the entertainment district and people were screaming and running. obviously. started about 15ft away from us same side of the street as we were walking in that direction. grabbed my friend who froze and took us to cover ducking while ricochets were bouncing around. as soon as there was a 5sec or less pause and all we could hear was screaming we got outta there. strangely enough it wasnt in the news the following days. some other shit i cant remember etc

JANUS

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1447
  • Rep: 211
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2021, 06:07:23 AM »
Some asshole broke my face in seven places. That was a pretty close call, I think.
If you can't handle me at my Marc Johnson, you don't deserve me at my Bobby Puleo.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 740
  • Rep: 40
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #19 on: October 17, 2021, 06:49:57 AM »
When I was about 23 my job in summer was to prepare schools for bushfires. It was a pretty easy job but the worst part was having to crawl under the classrooms (that were like double wide trailer homes) and pull out whatever leaves, branches, bits of wood etc that was under there that could catch fire.
So I'm just under a trailer grabbing tree branches and throwing them out the side when I grab what I thought was a branch but it's a fucking brown snake. (Pretty much the worst snake to get bit by) It kinda jumped and i just threw it to the side. for some reason it didn't try to bite me and just slithered away.
If it had bitten me I'd probably of died I was out at some rural school miles from anywhere with no phone reception and the person I worked with had taken the truck to the dump, which took hours.

doublesteveburger

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6434
  • Rep: 1644
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2021, 07:08:29 AM »
fentanyl

3D X-Ray Vision

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 241
  • Rep: 30
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2021, 04:41:47 PM »
Dysentery. I've already told the story here a few times

augustmoon

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3431
  • Rep: 321
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2021, 07:03:13 PM »
I have pretty bad Ulcerative Colitis (posted about it extensively on here on a previous account) and had a few close calls before I had my colon removed about 10 years ago. 

Probably the worst was what prompted me to get surgery.  My immunosuppressant infusions stopped working and things got really bad.  I was in so much pain that i completely stopped eating.  My insurance had dropped me and I was getting treated at a charity hospital who had scheduled my colon surgery, but the doctor doing the surgery (who I had never even met) kept cancelling it.  I told myself if I can just make It to the surgery I would be ok, but it just hurt too much to digest anything. 

Long story short, the doctor kept cancelling the surgery and I didnít really eat from sometime before Thanksgiving until after New Years.  I weighed about 100 pounds when my family forced me to go to the emergency room, where they admitted me and had me hooked up to an IV pumping lipids (fat) and TPO (liquid nutrition) into my veins.  Was there for about two weeks.  Found out later that the Dr went on a vacation and didnít feel the need to inform me, since it was a free hospital and I was poor and he was donating his time.  Opted for a different surgeon at a different hospital that eventually did the surgery and Iíve been good since, although waking up with an ileoostomy in the free hospital in a room surrounded by prisoners from jail is not something i would wish on my worst enemy. 

All in all, had 3 surgeries to complete everything over the course of about a year.  The ileoostomy process is highly traumatizing, but grateful to have had a good result despite how horrible it all was. 
Quote
Fuck brandon biebel... The lemon thrower

Molte

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1246
  • Rep: 119
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2021, 07:37:35 PM »
In high school we went to Edinburg, Scotland on a trip. Those psychos drive in the left side of the road as you know. Walking up hill on The Royal Mile, the side walk was very narrow and some people came walking against me and some friends. Walking towards them, I would start considering if I should take a step down on the road when we would meet, checking if any cars came towards us. Walking and talking a forgot about them driving in the left side of the road. I chose to turn my body, walking side ways as we passed by each other, and in the same second a double decker bus came passing by from behind. It was in the city, but it was going fast still.
Had I taken that step down on the road, I donít know man, I couldíve died. I was paranoid walking in traffic for the rest of the trip..

matty_c

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2472
  • Rep: 331
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2021, 11:42:03 PM »
I posted this on here somewhere else but I used to have this apartment on Berwick st in the valley, like maybe fifteen years ago and I got on the trips and was a full mess, got home and must have lost my key or something so I climbed up and put my hand through this window to pull myself through but it was closed but my hand went through it easy as but this big jagged bit full dug into my forearm I fully remember it even though I was tripping
It was like I saw it happening to someone else idk, but it went in real good and I said fuck or something and that was my good hand I was hanging on with, full let go

It was only three stories or some shit and I must have been was mad relaxed or something so it was fine
Pretty sure I koíd myself tho
The chick who lived in the unit next door was coming home herself, found me, found my key in the gutter, got me inside

Arm was pretty fucked and I didnít do anything about it

After a week it was swollen to shit and I wasnít feeling too good
Couple of mates cracked it and came and made me go to hospital

I remember I was all nah nah nah I donít wanna wait in emergency and I remember my mate Adam saying something like you dumb fuck theyíre gonna take you straight in, your arms fucked

Ended up staying in hospital maybe two nights I canít remember, I had sepsis in my arm but it was chill after a couple days
listen to cosmic psychos

Mouth

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3010
  • Rep: -284
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2021, 06:17:23 AM »
1) Engine fire on takeoff from Schipoll
2) Direct lightning strike in biplane over Himalayas
3) Caught in storm on boat back to the mainland from tiny island off Java
4) Misjudged the distance between two air pockets potholing in Sarawak

My Dad has a good one. He was booked on a Friday flight from Jakarta to Singapore on a work trip. Decided to fly back early and rebooked to fly on Thursday.

The copilot on his original Friday booking went crazy and killed the pilot with an axe. He then proceeded to dive bom the plane into an estuary. No survivors.

That's got to shake you up.
'No Mouth, you have a negative rep because you are a fan of growing your wealth off of the backs of low paid workers and brag about having bodyguards. You literally kook people for doing charity in South East Asia. Don't deny it.'

pizzafliptofakie

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6190
  • Rep: 1140
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #26 on: October 18, 2021, 06:33:49 AM »
Years ago I was driving kinda late at night down a pretty dark road and I noticed a full size tree (40-50 feet at least) starting to fall onto the road in front of me. I remember thinking "welp, this is happening" and slammed my brakes and braced for something terrible to happen. A bunch of large branches impaled my windshield on the driver's side but I was otherwise unscathed. If I had reacted a second later those branches probably would have impaled my face.

butterballs for jerry

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 562
  • Rep: -35
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2021, 07:08:58 AM »
Swam across a 200 foot wide quarry after not really swimming for some time. Halfway through the panic and exhaustion sets in, barely made it to the other side. Other people had to be rescued from drowning in that same situation a few days later. There's something about being 100 feet from land on any side and 400 feet from the bottom in open water that really gets the fear going.

brycickle

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5667
  • Rep: 49
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #28 on: October 19, 2021, 12:06:33 AM »

The copilot on his original Friday booking went crazy and killed the pilot with an axe. He then proceeded to dive bomb the plane into an estuary. No survivors.


There are some variables that you just cannot account for.

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of retarded kids and a van full of paraplegics.



2th

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 151
  • Rep: 30
Re: Times you nearly died
« Reply #29 on: October 19, 2021, 12:22:16 AM »
t-boned a pickup in my little car at highway speed. my bumper went under theirs so my airbag didnt go off. luckily was only concussed and broke a bunch of little bones in my hand

working for this shit small business tyrant who wouldnt shell out to get me a fall protection harness. lots of close calls came from this but the biggest was when i slipped on top a grain bin and caught the ladder on my way down

hit a deer out in the middle of nowhere in the dead of winter. my car was fucked and i had to just pick a light on the horizon and walk toward it, hoping it wasnt a work site or too far to make it

also had some insane times driving through the rockies in the winter. two semis jackknifed on a blind hill curve and everyone just had to take turns squeezing between them and hope for the best

one time my aunt's husband did some light kidnapping of me and my cousin, drove us around drunk while he negotiated with my aunt about whatever the fuck he was on about

got gas at a mall during a mass shooting (more of a brush with death but ominous nonetheless)

idk i feel like there's more that's repressed lol