electric skateboard hate thread

[skateordiet]

yes we live in a glass house, but fuck it, throw some stones.

any funny stories involving these dorks?

just watched some compilation videos of e-skateboard crashes. would be lying if i said i didn't enjoy watching them eat shit.

[pizzafliptofakie]

Don't know if this counts, but one time I was at the skatepark and there was a whole crew of middle aged dudes riding those one wheeled boards up the hill from us. When they noticed we were watching them one of them tried to do a weird maneuver thing and fucking slammed into the dirt. I felt bad, but most of us couldn't help but react.


They came down and let us try them and they're awkward to ride but I figured it out switch. Even got a clip rolling through mallgrabbing my board with CKY playing lol.

[GardenSkater77]

I was walking up a slight hill in Princeton University and  what I am assuming a Princeton student passed by me with a decent amount of speed on a longboard. He was heading for an intersection and I wanted to see how he would handle it. All of a sudden the board came to a complete stop and I realized he had a joystick in his hand. I was immediately disgusted. Breaking on a skateboard is the antithesis of skateboarding. I couldn’t even eat lunch after that. I had to go home and take a nap.

[Prinzy]

There was weird group of them on my campus that would have led strips on all their motorized boards and they would ride around, mobbing like 10 deep, at midnight. I remember handful of times skating our little plaza spot on campus at night and they'd come flying through, a handful of them in costumes like banana suit or those morph suit things, their lights changing colors and EDM absolutely blaring from a bluetooth speaker.

It was simultaneously the corniest but also oddly intimidating thing, I still can't decide whether I hate or respect them more after that.

[HeavyAndExpensive]

Since nobody that has any chance of handling one safely would actually ride one for any extended period of time, I’d say they’re pretty damn unsafe.

[cky enthusiast]

the rolling raver blade runner dudes  are the only people who should use electric skateboards

all frat boy losers fuck off

[sketchyrider]

There was weird group of them on my campus that would have led strips on all their motorized boards and they would ride around, mobbing like 10 deep, at midnight. I remember handful of times skating our little plaza spot on campus at night and they'd come flying through, a handful of them in costumes like banana suit or those morph suit things, their lights changing colors and EDM absolutely blaring from a bluetooth speaker.

It was simultaneously the corniest but also oddly intimidating thing, I still can't decide whether I hate or respect them more after that.

a long time ago, the mom of a girl who i was dating taught us how to play hearts, and introduced me to the concept of "shooting the moon". in hearts, you are trying to get the lowest score, but if you get all the penalty cards, you then "shoot the moon" and basically win the round.

i have since found that shooting the moon is a theme that can apply in real life situations. it sounds like these dorks checked so many boxes that they went full circle and actually became cool.

[mushroom slice]

There is guy that lives on my hill. He has one and places a speaker between his feet on it and blazes around bumping U2 and stuff like that. He goes up the hill faster then down it . He always looks like he’s having fun and so I’m not gonna hate. At this point I get excited to see him charge up the hill. It’s weird looking and makes me laugh.

[HyenaChaser]

It's whatever. I mean, it's corny and lame and I avoid the eye contact they try to make with me when I also happen to be skating on the street, but short of that I have a bigger problem with the rideshare scooters cluttering the sidewalk.

That said, the dude who defaced the George Floyd statue was on one of those dumb ass things and it pained me to read the articles referring to it simply as a skateboard.

[Freelancevagrant]

[SneakySecrets]

[GardenSkater77]

What did he expect was going to happen???

[dofrenzy]

What did he expect was going to happen???

I bet he was checking that girl out, thinking, “She is going to think I am sooooo cool!”

But I have deleted many depressing attempts at replies to this thread due to some deaths I’ve heard about due to e-boards (major league baseball prospect for one).  This video totally brightened my disposition though!

[DaleSr]

Hahaha he went full wil e coyote

[Uh Oh]

Classic. Never fails to make me laugh.

[GauchoAmigo]

Not gonna front I really want to try one

[Fhk]

@Lhotse had a little too much confidence in his new Caliber III's right here.

[in love w/ fs shuvs]

This is the one right here.

[matty_c]

I have had a go on one, just around the street at home and down the park not a skatepark but like in the grass and dirt

Not gonna lie it was ok going around the streets at speed and proper thrilling on the dirt like you can get the arse out around corners and stuff

Never buy one though

It’s mad when you skating city and some cunts got one, like a suit in a helmet full commuter
You can try look at them but deadset they won’t look you in the eye

They know

[numagik]

Since nobody that has any chance of handling one safely would actually ride one for any extended period of time, I’d say they’re pretty damn unsafe.

This really is my only problem with them. Seems kinda fun and they’ve killed off those wiggle board things, but man, these nerds are putting a lot of faith in some cheap ass electronics to stop them. I always wonder how fucked they’d be if it died going down a hill or something

[Brandon]

[DaleSr]

Imagine dropping a grand on one of these monstrosities and it spontaneously combusts. These things remind me of a coworker i used to have. He worked at haunted houses and was one of the guys who slide on kneepads to scare people and he kept trying to convince us that he was starting a new extreme sport that's just sliding on your knees and then jumping using your hands to push off the ground. Imagine thinking that the thing skaters do when they fall is actually a cool new activity. Even my nonskater coworkers thought it was lame as fuck.

[shredder sequel]

A gang of these dudes hangs out in the cafe at a grocery store that I go to. They are usually there on Saturdays, the same night as the Christian Singles meet-up—I’ve yet to see any mingling amongst the Christian Singles and members of this crew. They all wear motorcycle helmets and dress like futuristic baseball umpires—lots of lights. As soon as they pull up they plug in their boards to charge while they eat. I’m not sure where they come from or meet up at, but this is in a very suburban shopping center area (town square that was built 15 years ago/outdoor shopping mall vibe). Maybe they park by the Barnes & Noble and cruise around?

I’m glad they’re getting out of the house.

[Gene_Harrogate]

A gang of these dudes hangs out in the cafe at a grocery store that I go to. They are usually there on Saturdays, the same night as the Christian Singles meet-up—I’ve yet to see any mingling amongst the Christian Singles and members of this crew. They all wear motorcycle helmets and dress like futuristic baseball umpires—lots of lights. As soon as they pull up they plug in their boards to charge while they eat. I’m not sure where they come from or meet up at, but this is in a very suburban shopping center area (town square that was built 15 years ago/outdoor shopping mall vibe). Maybe they park by the Barnes & Noble and cruise around?

I’m glad they’re getting out of the house.

This painted a vivid picture and gave me a chuckle.

[boi-cuzudo]

I couldn't care less, especially the one wheelers they seem sketchy. Now ebikes are rad and is infinitely cooler.

[Crusty Grundle]

It’s mad when you skating city and some cunts got one, like a suit in a helmet full commuter
You can try look at them but deadset they won’t look you in the eye

They know

This cracks me up, 'cause I see these types all the time and they never make eye contact... yeah... they know.

[layzieyez]

I could see something like this happen on an eboard.

[Abyss1]

I could see something like this happen on an eboard.

I've seen people eat shit to avoid cars but this one was fucked....
I think they tell you not to ride sidewalks when using those e-scooters

[NorthShore]

I tried an eSkateboard for a few weeks. They're fast and once you get used to the remote in your hand it's okay. But they're quite heavy and at the end of the day, still have skate wheels so can get caught in a hole or crack and you're going 25mph – not that safe...

If I had to go electric, an eScooter is the better design. Bigger tires, handlebar, just makes more sense.

eSkate is more like just because you can doesn't mean you should.

[StillTryin]

I tried one at length about a month ago. A wowgo 2S Pro that a friend of mine bought.

He had two sets of wheels, one set of big ass orange wheels for dirt and one regular set for street.

Every year we gather up in a rented summerhouse and bullshit around so this year I brought 2 boards and he showed up with this fucking thing and a regular longboard. Had no idea he rode but cool.

We bombed hills so at the bottom he would tow me back up with the electric board.

During the 4 days we were there all boards were free to use by anyone so I definitely indulged.

All in all I probably rode that thing for 2-3 hours total and about 20 miles I would say. After a day at the pump track on a regular board with these noobs it's good to have an e-board when your legs are shot and you still wanna ride I guess.

- It's fast as shit
- It brakes hard if you need it too. It'll throw you off on a dime. This one wasn't a mechanical brake, it's motor brake.
- In the dirt that thing is fucking ace. No joke I considered buying one just for dirt.
- In general it's fun, especially up hills.

BUT

- It's too fucking heavy. Like if you run out of battery and have to carry it back home it's no bueno.
- The carve honestly fucking sucks. I have no idea how, but whether the trucks are loose or tight, they carve like shit. I assume they're designed by people who don't skate so they have no clue.

As it is, wouldn't really drop a grand on one, but I'm not really a hater either. If I had a bunch of dirt trails around where I live I would be tempted for sure if there was any way to make it carve nice. Paying a thousand bucks to ride a fucking brick isn't my jam, but e-riders don't know any better so they're stoked on them.


So in the spirit of the thread, here's the funny story :

We went to an asphalt pump track for bikes. They didn't want to go to a park or anything because longboards so I was like fine let's go. I had both my boards on indys and he brought his two long boards.

We looked at pictures and he was like "yeah I can do that" in my mind I thought dude has no idea but if I tell him he cancels on me so fuck it. We show up there he sees the size of the rolls (it's for bikes eh) and I can see confidence vanishing.

He tried it once on his e-board I told his ass don't throttle this is pump you should either use my second board or your regular longboard you've never done this before. Bike guys were looking at him like "Dis gun be good."

No dice. He throttled and slipped the fuck out after two rolls. Board shot up on third roll and took off. Tumbled around in the grass like a wounded animal going WWWSSSSHHHHH cause dude clenched up on the remote. Some guy standing off the track was trying to catch the board but it kept rolling away on it's own. I laughed so fucking hard. He was okay though and board was fine. He did not try anything again, also too spooked to try my second board either so he spent the rest of the afternoon filming me going around the track cleaning his grip tape between my runs.