Author Topic: Bad new movies  (Read 3217 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Bad new movies
« on: January 02, 2022, 07:14:22 AM »
There's the good movie thread i enjoy and the matrix sucks thread made me think about all the movies I've watched that fucking suck so why not call some out. I'm ignoring anything with no budget etc but top 3 stinkers of 2021 for me are
F9: right off the bat I'm not a fan of this franchise but I honestly can't see why anybody is. Even for mindless action there's no actual stunts it's just shitty 2008 looking CGI. Movie constantly slows down for bad acting/nobody could possibly give a shit back story. Nathalie Emmanuals dialogue is 90% just literally explaining what's happening for the audience and then just being part of the comedy releif which not a single person on earth finds funny. Over an hour in they're still introducing characters every ten minutes. It's not funny enough for how dumb it is.

Chaos walking: this just sucked. A total chore to watch. Nothing works. The basic gimmick of the movie is fucking broken and annoying.

Shadow in the cloud: it's just the actress face for like an hour then when the action starts it's too fucking stupid. Tries so hard to be a positive female role model it does the opposite. The climax of the movie the woman rips off her sleeves to fight the monster but has zero muscle somehow barehand kills it then gets a tit out to breastfeed a baby. All completely done sincerely. So dumb no fun.

El Fapinator

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2991
  • Rep: -243
  • (0_o) whatever dog you probably suck at it
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2022, 08:46:47 AM »
Iíll just add my two centís here it seems to me like the day they stopped using practical effects ie true movie sets  green screens creature fx puppets and replaced it with overrated technology and cgi the movie industry is floundering.

Hence remakes/reboot nothing original, which is why blumhouse and other horror movies are killing it, cheap to make and the right story and practical effects youíve got a blockbuster.

My movies I liked
The Void

Conjuring series (sure cheesy and boo scary but suffice it to say it ainít bad)

Hereditary

Halloween series and other slashers are my favorite movies.
Dueces Bitch's

iKobrakai

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4114
  • Rep: -709
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2022, 09:54:39 AM »
I gave up movies ages ago.. until I though "well, how bad could new Bladerunner be?"... I'll never watch a movie again.

rawr1922

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 959
  • Rep: 76
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2022, 01:24:33 PM »
The Irishman kind of sucks. I absolutely love Martin Scorsese films, this one overrated. I have attempted to watch it 2X. 
The beginning great then just drags on 

DaleSr

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3070
  • Rep: 863
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2022, 01:41:24 PM »
Saw the new spiderman, it was fine but I'm completely over watching any comic book shit ever again

iKobrakai

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4114
  • Rep: -709
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2022, 11:41:34 PM »
Saw the new spiderman, it was fine but I'm completely over watching any comic book shit ever again

Yeah, it's almost like doing that shit for 15 years gets a bit old...

GliderSkateboards

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 65
  • Rep: 30
    •  avatar image
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2022, 11:47:51 PM »
Saw the new spiderman, it was fine but I'm completely over watching any comic book shit ever again

I have a love/hate with marvel movies and i feel kind of similar to you. They all have a similar feel to it and it gets a bit repetitive (the "relatable" humor, the story arc, post-credit cliff hanger, joke that was originated from the internet, etc.). Objectively, amazing movies, but so formulaic

DaleSr

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3070
  • Rep: 863
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2022, 06:27:41 AM »
I told myself i wouldn't watch any more of these things after endgame, but the family all really wanted to watch the new spiderman on Christmas so i bit the bullet to not be the grinch. It was cool seeing all the villains back, but I'm so over all these self aware cameos and having spiderman telling spiderman "you rock, have some self care"
« Last Edit: January 03, 2022, 09:18:15 AM by DaleSr »

frontfootimpossible

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
  • Rep: -23
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2022, 07:36:25 AM »
fuck it, i liked the new spiderman even as a 30 year old. I loved spiderman as a kid and have no shame.

The new matrix was awful though. Jada pinkett looks like a fucking klingon and she is a terrible actress.
Quote from: Slap MessageBoards
frontfootimpossible,

You have received a warning for posting offensive material. Please cease these activities and abide by the forum rules otherwise we will take further action.

Regards,
The Slap MessageBoards Team.

palelight

  • Trade Count: (+2)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 997
  • Rep: 148
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2022, 08:45:31 AM »
Free Guy. I thought a bit of fluff was needed while my girl and I were waiting for covid tests, but I think my anxiety precipitated some over-critical rage. Genuinely irritated by the 8 minute plot stretched over however long, that was cobbled together from someone's recent rewatch of Truman Show and The Matrix... where some soulless husk also thought the last third should just be a multi-meta advertising cumshot of other Disney properties. The idea that if you include enough affable dudes (Waititi, Reynolds, Not-Jean-Ralphio) then wink-wink factory-made comedy quipping becomes real humor. Wasted Lil' Rel. My girlfriend's anger over including a whispercore cover of Fantasy by Mariah...in the same movie where you've played the unfuckwithable original multiple times.. was funnier than anything on the screen.

But hey, everyone else I know seemed to like it, so maybe I'm just being a prick. Tests were negative. 

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2022, 02:57:48 AM »
Werewolves within: shit. Tedious. It's about 90 mins but drags on and on feels like double that length. Never funny, never scary, terrible special effects, boring action.

pro club blanks

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 807
  • Rep: 25
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2022, 11:55:49 AM »
"I care alot" on Netflix

One of the most irritating, implausible plot lines ever

Huell Howser

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1072
  • Rep: 175
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2022, 03:20:10 PM »
'Old' the M. Knight Shyamalan flick that came out later last year sometime was comically bad. I kinda recommend watching it

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2022, 02:10:38 AM »
Not completely terrible but mostly bad/meh the new Texas chainsaw massacre. I'm not going to pretend I'm some super horror fan but I've seen tons and this is just dead centre.
Acting is decent, story is fine enough for a dumb slasher thing, cinematics good. Special effects pretty chat mostly CG garbage.
I'm going to sound like an old fuddy duddy but I just don't see the point. Horror movies arent actually scary so make it more fun like final destination or nightmare on elm Street etc
Personal pet peeve is wedging in a bunch of lazy woke shit/social commentary. Not that I'm anti woke or anything but it's just not really the place for it.
I guess it's a good movie for someone who hasn't seen other horror movies.

Gene_Harrogate

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 441
  • Rep: 204
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2022, 03:47:27 PM »
Not a movie, but a TV show. I think Ď1883í on paramount+ Sucks.  As a fan of westerns I was excited, plus Sam Elliott is in it. But so far itís been a big letdown.  Iíd be interested to hear if anyone else has been watching it and how they feel about it.

Get hungry on it!

brycickle

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5765
  • Rep: 87
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2022, 06:12:50 PM »
I have also been watching it, and I think it's excellent. Isabel May is going to become a huge star off of this show.

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of regular kids and a van full of paraplegics.



3D X-Ray Vision

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 330
  • Rep: -50
  • Favorite Holiday: Zero Fucksgiving
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2022, 07:22:21 PM »
I haven't seen a movie in about eight years. I gave up. My favorite old movie is An American Werewolf in London. They don't make em like that any more
The Satanic Temple is doing God's work by fighting for women's rights

Gene_Harrogate

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 441
  • Rep: 204
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2022, 08:06:11 PM »
I have also been watching it, and I think it's excellent. Isabel May is going to become a huge star off of this show.
Yeah I mean Iíve got no beef with the acting per se. She strikes me as a less annoying Jennifer Lawrence.

Get hungry on it!

dunc

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 154
  • Rep: 16
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2022, 09:54:38 PM »
Independance day was so bad. I remember being so angry after walking out of the theater.  What a shit show . Will never get those hours back.
They laughed when I told my friends that I was going to be a comedian.....well they are not laughing now!

Chavo

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1361
  • Rep: 148
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #19 on: February 19, 2022, 07:01:13 PM »
Kimi may have been ok 30 years ago.

A tech worker just needs to hand deliver evidence to the FBI or reach a pay phone before the bad guys get her. She's both a computer genius and agoraphobic--just text or email that shit.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #20 on: February 20, 2022, 04:00:58 AM »
I kinda wanted this thread to be for bad movies that for various reasons should of been good (budget, cast, hype) but weren't. There's way too many just outright bad movies. But I'll go against my own plan and have to mention "vanquish" I couldn't even get thru twenty mins. It looks like utter dogshit every scene is completely green red or blue. Ruby Rose is the biggest con in modern cinema. I don't know how these production companies all get fooled into casting her at least Nick cage and Bruce Willis were good thirty years ago she was already bad before she even started acting and was just some skate event criddler

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2022, 09:15:05 PM »
The king's man
Real messy. They must of had enough footage for two movies. Don't know who it's aimed at the other kingsmen movies were basically silly James Bond for teenagers but I think teenagers will be completely bored by this one. feels like it goes on for hours. Big finale is dumb/doesn't even make sense. Pet peeve every other line of dialogue has "fuck/fucking" not that I'm against swearing but it just feels lazy and doesn't even fit in with this movie. Don't remember what it was rated but felt like they were trying to seem more adult/serious with some violence and language but it's for the intelligence of a 7th grader

Forgot to mention (SPOILER) it does some alt reality ww1 stuff that's kinda insulting for anyone who was involved with ww1/families etc. Like no the reality didn't exist it was all our silly movie characters that did everything. Also after credits scene that's just completely baffling to why anyone involved would think it's a good idea. Especially the poor actor who must of got talked into it because it can't be good for someone's career
« Last Edit: February 26, 2022, 09:57:46 PM by Mean salto »

Andmoreagain

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 593
  • Rep: 42
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2022, 01:47:39 PM »
Most of the superhero movies and also all the new star wars movies and that boba fett show was terrible

PuffinMuffin

  • Trade Count: (+19)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1152
  • Rep: 988
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2022, 03:12:23 PM »
The Great Wall, muddled, unrememberable, it just didn't take.
iím 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

Mark Renton

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1434
  • Rep: 251
  • Choose life.
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2022, 03:55:07 PM »
95% of whatís on Netflix and my exes made me watch instead of puffin to Palasonic or some shit.

I had to sit through hours of absolute fucking shite. Without being able to fully express how fucking shite that was.

Last straw was the fire stick or whatever thatís called. Gateway to even more garbage.

Never went full stupid tho like my flatmate and his ex used to watch these Polish black and white films with obscure subs or something. I would walk in the lounge after a bit with both of them passed out haha.

I mostly donít bother myself. Iíd rather watch the big Lebowski for the 101th time instead.
video tape yourself saving monks. dont just do it. make sure its caught on film.

Mr. Kamikazi

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1765
  • Rep: -136
  • 1,2,3,4, tell the people what she wore...
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2022, 04:52:00 PM »
Watched Halloween Kills last night; what a waste of my night.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2022, 03:28:04 AM »
Snake eyes
I have zero interest in any gi Joe stuff and had already heard it was a bad movie but often I find I get surprised by movies everyone says are bad and find them to be ok. Not this time.
Fight scenes filmed kinda trash. That too many cuts with camera jumping around style. I missed a 15min chunk in the middle when satellite went out but it came back with some absolutely awful CGI. Then SPOILER it just fucking ends.
Also I know this could be my tv but I literally had to adjust the volume for the entire length of the movie. I watch movies everyday and it happens but it's pretty rare. usually I find the right setting and it's all good but this one was wacko. Can't hear any dialogue then boom the speakers are newly being blown out by backing music.

Yonnycage

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 786
  • Rep: -38
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2022, 09:09:29 AM »
The newest Mortal Kombat was pretty lame. Tried too hard to be funny but there were fatalities from Deadly Alliance which shocked me.

Halloween Kills was absolute dogshit but Iím looking forward to the 3rd one just so I can see how they tie it up.

I just want a 3rd Sicario and 28 Months Later already.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #28 on: March 07, 2022, 03:01:28 AM »
North Hollywood.
I wanted to give it the full benefit of not paying attention to all the awful reviews/opinions but now have to say it's not good. It's not completely awful but it's pretty pointless.
Feels like there's about twenty five minutes of actual movie and the rest is a ton of filler. Maybe would of actually been better if it was done cheaper/smaller scale. A lot of style over substance. Maybe I'm too old too I'm sure when I was 13 I would of been so psyched on actual skateboarding in a movie but now it's just distracting. The whole movie just stops to watch someone skate a hip for a few mins just completely stalling the flow

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2509
  • Rep: 314
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2022, 04:11:56 AM »
'Old' the M. Knight Shyamalan flick that came out later last year sometime was comically bad. I kinda recommend watching it

Just watched it. It's like actually broken. Bad acting and dialogue which would be fine in a dumb horror/thriller type thing but was especially bad this time. SPOILERS there's like 5 scenes in a row where the people on the beach go like hey something's not right here. Like you just saw something bizarre but now for no reason can't believe something else strange happened. Also there's no cleverness to the ending. They never work as a team and solve the problem.