Author Topic: Bad new movies  (Read 6550 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #90 on: June 22, 2022, 04:54:21 AM »
Leprechaun origins (2021)
Just stay the fuck away from this. Absolute bottom of the barrel dogshit not associated with the leprechaun series in any way.

manysnakes

  • Trade Count: (+3)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6626
  • Rep: 1117
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #91 on: June 22, 2022, 06:06:24 AM »
Top Gun Maverick was a pretty dry, joyless affair. The stunts are cool but the entire thing felt like a nostalgia piece from a better time in America. Jennifer Connelly 10/10 smokeshow though.
This is not my SOTY. I'm telling my kids there was no SOTY for 2021

Miller92

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 773
  • Rep: -282
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #92 on: June 22, 2022, 05:08:23 PM »
Expand Quote
Was gonna watch dune last night but went with Old (the new M. Night Shyamalan movie) instead for whatever reason. Big mistake, it was terrible
[close]

honestly, that movie was so bad I almost enjoyed watching it just thinkin how they probably never say "no" to Shyamalan and his shitty ideas lol. I remember all the characters just talking about their jobs. from what I gathered it's just a movie about exploring different careers

OLD wasn't great but I will say, what's crazy about M. Night is that after The Visitor (a blumhouse micro-budget horror film that was meh) he self-finances his entire productions.  Dollar for dollar.  So any profit made at the box office/rentals/streaming he gets a FAT percentage.  Like 85%. And then uses the profit to make his next film. Kind of a cool thing but the problem is there's no one to tell him "No." or "what if we changed...."

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #93 on: June 25, 2022, 05:37:56 AM »
Last night in Soho
Didn't really do it for me. I guess it's kinda a homage to Giallo films which is cool in theory but everything digital/CGI looks chat. Any unique camera work or effects become kinda meh. Story takes a while to get into then the ends sorta lacking. Main actors voice is tuf too but that's a personal opinion

j....soy.....

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 18164
  • Rep: 1568
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #94 on: June 25, 2022, 06:42:31 AM »
Probably my favourite of the series…..I haven’t seen the remake yet…

https://youtu.be/z8slb-2BmLg

Blind Fisherman

  • Guest
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #95 on: June 25, 2022, 08:11:29 AM »
Not a new movie by any means, but accidentally started watching The Fog because my stoned ass thought it was Stephen King's The Mist. Absolutely horrible movie. Felt like someone's high school film project with an overly-inflated budget.

Atiba Applebum

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 14242
  • Rep: 282
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #96 on: June 25, 2022, 11:49:17 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Was gonna watch dune last night but went with Old (the new M. Night Shyamalan movie) instead for whatever reason. Big mistake, it was terrible
[close]

honestly, that movie was so bad I almost enjoyed watching it just thinkin how they probably never say "no" to Shyamalan and his shitty ideas lol. I remember all the characters just talking about their jobs. from what I gathered it's just a movie about exploring different careers
[close]

OLD wasn't great but I will say, what's crazy about M. Night is that after The Visitor (a blumhouse micro-budget horror film that was meh) he self-finances his entire productions.  Dollar for dollar.  So any profit made at the box office/rentals/streaming he gets a FAT percentage.  Like 85%. And then uses the profit to make his next film. Kind of a cool thing but the problem is there's no one to tell him "No." or "what if we changed...."

I don’t doubt part of that is true, but he also has to find a distributor (Universal for Old) who invests costs in Prints and Advertising, etc which is more expensive than you’d think.

The situation you describe is more akin to Star Wars ep 1-3 

Filip

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2903
  • Rep: -69
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #97 on: June 26, 2022, 02:22:10 PM »
Im just watching the last Matrix movie now. Im 32, so the original trilogy was popping when I was a teen, so it made a huge impact on me and all my school buddies. Part of why I love science fiction now so much.

Anyway, this one fucking sucks. I like Keanu, he is cool as fuck in this, but what a waste of time. I have an hour left, and just cant keep watching to save my life, I keep checking SLAP instead..

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #98 on: July 09, 2022, 06:34:05 AM »
Dangerous (2021)
Scott Eastwood seems like a dick. Not just his character but the actual person. Why always take these lame roles? They aren't cool. Basically some people shoot other people while Scott Eastwood half does an impression of his dad while clearly being a foot shorter and having about a hundredth of the charisma. SPOILER ALERT (but who cares don't watch this) Also the bad guys in this movie never tell the good guys what they are actually looking for. Literally all they'd have to say is "we want the gold" and none of the movie would happen.

Coastal Fever

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3503
  • Rep: 495
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #99 on: July 09, 2022, 03:10:30 PM »
Aside from the cinematography, Lady Gaga looking fine, and Al Pacino being in it, House Of Gucci was pretty boring and discombobulated.

augustmoon

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4312
  • Rep: 787
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #100 on: July 09, 2022, 03:31:15 PM »
Not a new movie by any means, but accidentally started watching The Fog because my stoned ass thought it was Stephen King's The Mist. Absolutely horrible movie. Felt like someone's high school film project with an overly-inflated budget.

You talking about a remake or something? The original is pretty great
Quote
Fuck brandon biebel... The lemon thrower

DaleSr

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4255
  • Rep: 1444
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #101 on: July 11, 2022, 08:00:05 AM »
I saw the gentlemen yesterday, and i came into it really wanting to like it as a guy ritchie fan and for a movie full of actors that i love, fuck it was bad. And really racist too. Like what the fuck, there was some early 2000s unfunny Asian and gay jokes. Just hack garbage

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #102 on: July 21, 2022, 02:45:26 AM »
Resident evil: welcome to racoon city
So had to watch this twice, first time got to the end and thought it must of fucked up and skipped a chunk or I fell asleep or something because I couldn't remember a single thing that happened. Watched it again and no it's just that forgettable. Maybe if you're a fan of the franchise it has stuff in it you'll like but for a normal person who's been buried in zombie (or infected if you're one of those people) movies and shows for the last 20 years there's really nothing new or interesting here.

Blind Fisherman

  • Guest
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #103 on: July 21, 2022, 09:30:03 AM »
Expand Quote
Not a new movie by any means, but accidentally started watching The Fog because my stoned ass thought it was Stephen King's The Mist. Absolutely horrible movie. Felt like someone's high school film project with an overly-inflated budget.
[close]

You talking about a remake or something? The original is pretty great
Yeah, just checked and it's a 2005 remake. I'll check out the original soon, though. Thanks for the info.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #104 on: July 22, 2022, 08:51:55 AM »
Malignant
Everything I don't like in a horror movie. Shitty visuals/CGI, (attempted) jump scares with audio spike, goes too long, way too much explanation. Shame cos there's a few interesting elements but way too much you've seen a hundred times and not done particularly well

EdLawndale

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3469
  • Rep: 1079
    • My Wife avatar image
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #105 on: July 23, 2022, 01:16:39 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Not a new movie by any means, but accidentally started watching The Fog because my stoned ass thought it was Stephen King's The Mist. Absolutely horrible movie. Felt like someone's high school film project with an overly-inflated budget.
[close]

You talking about a remake or something? The original is pretty great
[close]
Yeah, just checked and it's a 2005 remake. I'll check out the original soon, though. Thanks for the info.

Yeah, the original has a cool spooky vibe. Tbh, John Carpenter had a hell of a run in the 80s, just banger after banger. I never checked for much of his 90s stuff, but, oh man, he had the 80s on lock, his scores were ill too.
"Was just about to say, wtf is up with this EdLawndale guy?"


Blind Fisherman

  • Guest
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #106 on: August 15, 2022, 10:30:24 AM »
Had to resurrect this thread to say that The Black Phone does not live up to the hype whatsoever. At first, I gave it an 8.5/10, but after a few days of thinking about it, I'd give it a solid 5/10.
Thin characters, thin plot, got to the point way too fast. Only positives I can mention are the filming and acting were well done.

Spyro

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 20
  • Rep: -2
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #107 on: August 15, 2022, 12:57:39 PM »
Had to resurrect this thread to say that The Black Phone does not live up to the hype whatsoever. At first, I gave it an 8.5/10, but after a few days of thinking about it, I'd give it a solid 5/10.
Thin characters, thin plot, got to the point way too fast. Only positives I can mention are the filming and acting were well done.
I just heard this exact same thing from a friend last night. Bummer.

Blind Fisherman

  • Guest
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #108 on: August 15, 2022, 01:12:53 PM »
Expand Quote
Had to resurrect this thread to say that The Black Phone does not live up to the hype whatsoever. At first, I gave it an 8.5/10, but after a few days of thinking about it, I'd give it a solid 5/10.
Thin characters, thin plot, got to the point way too fast. Only positives I can mention are the filming and acting were well done.
[close]
I just heard this exact same thing from a friend last night. Bummer.
I wanted so badly for it to be a good, scary movie, but that shit just fell so flat after the plot was revealed. Too much reliance upon jump scares that really weren't scary.

Sifter

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 277
  • Rep: 46
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #109 on: August 16, 2022, 07:53:27 PM »
Léon: The Professional makes The Gray Man feel like watching The Room





Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #110 on: August 30, 2022, 03:05:06 AM »
Finally got round to watching moonfall. Could only get thru maybe thirty mins but I think I'll come back later. I knew it was meant to be trash but thought it might be fun trash, so far not but maybe once the actually finally starts.

It's unfortunately in my least favourite trend of new movies that are American/english but clearly made for a foreign audience. Even tho everyone is speaking English in any back and forth dialogue nobody talks like a regular person, it's like the audio version uncanny valley.
Also every side character is fat and/or stupid.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #111 on: September 02, 2022, 02:46:07 AM »
Scream (2022)
Had very low expectations but like most people my age scream was the horror series of our time so might as well check it out. Scream was already this weird self aware commentary but this one went way too far, maybe I just was in the wrong mood but felt like they were just loving the smell of their own farts. Kinda reminded me of that ghostbusters how it's kinda shitting on it's own fanbase, altho obviously nowhere near as bad as what ghostbusters did.
Spoiler: also just turns into glorified good guy with a gun beats bad guy

Steely Daniel

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1427
  • Rep: 456
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #112 on: September 02, 2022, 04:10:10 AM »
Had to resurrect this thread to say that The Black Phone does not live up to the hype whatsoever. At first, I gave it an 8.5/10, but after a few days of thinking about it, I'd give it a solid 5/10.
Thin characters, thin plot, got to the point way too fast. Only positives I can mention are the filming and acting were well done.

I saw it in the theatre and thought it was terrible. The mask was so cringey and lame to me along with the name "The Grabber" and that little girl swearing was not remotely funny. There were surely more things I hated about it but it was so unmemorable I cannot recall them anymore. My favourite part was Ziggy from The Wire super high on coke trying to solve the mystery.

Blind Fisherman

  • Guest
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #113 on: September 02, 2022, 05:56:29 AM »
Expand Quote
Had to resurrect this thread to say that The Black Phone does not live up to the hype whatsoever. At first, I gave it an 8.5/10, but after a few days of thinking about it, I'd give it a solid 5/10.
Thin characters, thin plot, got to the point way too fast. Only positives I can mention are the filming and acting were well done.
[close]

I saw it in the theatre and thought it was terrible. The mask was so cringey and lame to me along with the name "The Grabber" and that little girl swearing was not remotely funny. There were surely more things I hated about it but it was so unmemorable I cannot recall them anymore. My favourite part was Ziggy from The Wire super high on coke trying to solve the mystery.
I tend to be too generous when giving any kind of review, but yeah, that shit sucked tremendously.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #114 on: September 17, 2022, 05:51:15 AM »
Had to tap out of the matrix resurrections. Don't know if they changed it for streaming but it doesn't look like a movie, looks kinda like that cobra kai show. Keep doing that weird frame rate thing that was very popular in the early 00s. Maybe it's a throwback to the og matrix but I don't really remember. Ok the movies meta and kind of a homage to the originals. An hour and a half in and barely anything has happened. it's so slowly paced which would be ok if it wasn't also a cheesy action movie. So much exposition dumping.
Guess since it's kinda funny wish it was a bit funnier and maybe just a bit shorter because it was a bit of a chore
« Last Edit: September 17, 2022, 06:47:28 AM by Mean salto »

jamersonbass

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 720
  • Rep: 70
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #115 on: September 17, 2022, 10:45:47 AM »
Malignant
Everything I don't like in a horror movie. Shitty visuals/CGI, (attempted) jump scares with audio spike, goes too long, way too much explanation. Shame cos there's a few interesting elements but way too much you've seen a hundred times and not done particularly well

I loved how campy and batshit crazy this movie was!

I saw Pearl last night and was expecting more from Ti West.  Kind of a bummer.  Beautifully shot, just overwrought and needed tighter editing.

winecrab

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 697
  • Rep: -176
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #116 on: September 20, 2022, 03:22:20 PM »
I'm watching the new Jeepers creepers movie and it's fucking terrible.

I saw Barbarians yesterday and it wasn't that bad.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #117 on: September 23, 2022, 09:14:47 AM »
Finally saw jackass forever. Not the biggest jackass fan and expectations were already very low but just thought the whole thing was kinda sad. I know there's a ton of movie magic editing involved but everything in this one felt particularly fake. "Oh my god you're putting honey on me? And now salmon!" Pretty much every line of dialogue is just them yelling exactly what's happening incase anyone watching somehow doesn't get it. Reminded me of that shitty British version of jackass from back whenever that was.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #118 on: September 24, 2022, 01:41:57 AM »
The 355.
This thing is so fucking chat don't bother unless you want to watch some Hollywood dorks pretending to be tuf guys with shitty over edited fight scenes and the dumbest action. Want to see police put hundreds of regular people's lives in danger for basically no gain? Maybe this is for you.

Mean salto

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6491
  • Rep: 854
Re: Bad new movies
« Reply #119 on: October 09, 2022, 02:34:43 AM »
Didn't think the new hellraiser was good at all. I don't really get the point of this type of movie being made with modern technology. Maybe teenagers would like it or someone who hasn't seen many movies.