share ur crazy stories

[nevrwasben]

I sucked my own dick to prove a point in middle school. That one followed me for a long time.

Did you finish yourself off or just do it to prove you could get there?
Also, if you finished, how would you rank yourself against your previous to now partners?

[jgonzalez]

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I sucked my own dick to prove a point in middle school. That one followed me for a long time.

[close]

Did you finish yourself off or just do it to prove you could get there?
Also, if you finished, how would you rank yourself against your previous to now partners?

Ngl when I was 15 I could get the tip in my mouth and finished a couple of times

Definitely have had partners that do a better job because more went in their mouths and they could lick my balls/perineum/ass. Only ones that ranked lower than myself were biters or slammed into their throat as their only move

[Sativa Lung]

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I sucked my own dick to prove a point in middle school. That one followed me for a long time.

[close]

Ah, come on, don't leave us hanging. What was the point to be proven?

So back in the 90's there were all sorts of salacious rumors about Marilyn Manson that swept across small towns across America. One of these was that he got surgery to remove ribs so he could suck his own dick.

I was at a shitty little party and this kid was INSISTENT that not only was this true, but that it was "physically impossible" to do it without having ribs removed. I was pretty flexible and had been in enough neighborhood wrestling matches with bigger kids growing up to know I could get my face within dick distance of my pelvis without that much effort. So I got sick of listening to this kid making shit up and bet him $100 (not an insignificant amount in those days) I could do it. Even though I was like 14 the hardest part was getting a boner with a bunch of dudes watching. Perhaps predictably, he never paid up and continued to be full of shit.

Did you finish yourself off or just do it to prove you could get there?
Also, if you finished, how would you rank yourself against your previous to now partners?

Nah, just nipped the tip. It was mostly in the name of science. It's still super fucking uncomfortable, but totally possible.

[Andrew]

and how do you think this experience has shaped the course of your life? judging by this story and the username you've chosen, i am fully invested in learning more

[TheLurper]

I sucked my own dick to prove a point in middle school. That one followed me for a long time.

Are you Ryan Reyes?

Also, this SLAP gold:

So back in the 90's there were all sorts of salacious rumors about Marilyn Manson that swept across small towns across America. One of these was that he got surgery to remove ribs so he could suck his own dick.

I was at a shitty little party and this kid was INSISTENT that not only was this true, but that it was "physically impossible" to do it without having ribs removed. I was pretty flexible and had been in enough neighborhood wrestling matches with bigger kids growing up to know I could get my face within dick distance of my pelvis without that much effort. So I got sick of listening to this kid making shit up and bet him $100 (not an insignificant amount in those days) I could do it. Even though I was like 14 the hardest part was getting a boner with a bunch of dudes watching. Perhaps predictably, he never paid up and continued to be full of shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFOzgFyE8QA

[LB]

I was chilling up a tree by a lake and saw a carp fart.

[sacking rails]

one time i ate shit and died

[m path]

  I was in Dublin (im not Irish) and 2 junkies came up and started talking to me.  That asked for some water to wash they're hands so i said "work away" so they did.  Anyway chatting blah blah but when I reached into my bag one of them saw the 50 euro note and grabbed it.  I fought both of them right there (of the handle like an idiot) and chased after the one that took off.  That one ended up not having it cause they passed it of.  Anywho I'd been robbed and felt as dumb as you could imagine.  Anyway 2 days later I exit the pad I was at (the main street along the river, busy like any main street in an international city, same street I'd been robbed) and among a big crowd I see the two roughest down and out dudes I'd seen since the year I'd spent in the country.  I'm staring at them (i'm a people watcher by nature) and the one dude as they're approaching starts to look back at me and comes right up to me.  I could not understand a word he was saying and his friend had continued to walk along.  He yells at his buddy "give me 50 euros" to which his friend replied fuck no or something to that affect.  He yelled at him again, more aggresively this time, "give me 50 euros!" so buddy came back, handed him 50 euros and to my amazement this dude hands it to me, smiles and walks off.  I think they were travelers.  Travelers a a group of white people in Ireland and the UK and I'm to understand they share comparitively the same amount of dna with Irish people as say spannish people do. They get a status card if they apply.   I liked them quite a bit myself.  I knew bouncers in Cork and NO travelers were let into the pubs. -They just knew if your wondering. Ireland is nuts/awesome.

[half staff]

I think I shared this on my previous account here, but I'll share it again.
Back in November of 2016, a few days before Thanksgiving, my mom's at-the-time husband (not my father) came home drunk at 2AM when it was just he and I in the house for the weekend and proceeded to attack me while I was still asleep in my bed.
All I can remember is hearing "you motherfucker" before my bedroom door was kicked in then a flurry of punches strategically laid upon my cranium (under the hair so you couldn't see bruises; he was a former cop, go figure he'd know where to hit to hide evidence). After finally getting him off me and getting on my feet, I proceeded to beat the dog piss out of him all across the house. Broke his nose, cracked a few of his teeth, and nearly strangled him to death. Called my mom in the middle of it and just screamed "call for help, your husband is attacking me." Her best friend and her husband show up as I make my escape to my dad's house and they ask what happened. I just told them to go ask him and left.
A week later, my mom sits me down to talk about it. She blames me and says "well, you were the one who was drunk" when I had been asleep since 11 bc I had work at 4:45AM. We proceed to argue about that when I finally get her to realize that I was not in the slightest bit drunk. Then she poses the question "well, what are you going to do now?" Without thought, I told her I was going to move to Cleveland, OH with one of my best friends.
Made the move and came back home a year later with a better head on my shoulders.

glad you got a better head on your shoulders and won't assault an officer of the law again.
i found out my teammate was fucking my wife. and i had to play with the motherfucker that week. we won the nba championship. my wife was fucking that motherfucker i had to play with. Love it!

[graibe]

When I was in 8th grade, my friend and I found a squirrel carcass in the park. Naturally, as 13yr old boys, we wanted to poke it with a stick and fuck around with it. Some lady at the park saw us, freaked out, and asked us if we killed it. We replied that we didn't but she decided to put a curse on us. I'd never been under a curse before that, and you might say that curses are bullshit. But that weekend turned out to be terrible. I ended up getting into a fistfight with my cousin and he needed to get staples in his head... So yeah I kinda believe in curses now.