Author Topic: Shits and showers, living in harmony  (Read 977 times)

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slappies

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Shits and showers, living in harmony
« on: May 02, 2022, 08:33:27 AM »
I have a very fiery passion for both of these activities, and they typically go hand in hand. I'd like to use this topic to discuss how we go about our shits and showers.

I for one, after shitting, immediately get into the shower. I've got a detachable shower head so when I'm done the deed I hop in, squat down and blast. You may ask yourself, "Do you wipe first?" No, that would be redundant. This allows me to have an impeccably fresh asshole. So no, it isn't gross. It's beginning coincides with the start of covid when there was an international toilet paper shortage panic. I said fuck it and skipped it all together.

WARNING
This method does take some adjustments, it sounds simpler than it is. When I first started there were a few sloppy jobs in which the showerhead caught some strays that were later discovered by my girlfriend. This lead to a little heat on me. You gotta be careful, especially if you don't live alone.

So let's hear how you guys handle these, you a shit, wipe, shower? A shit right to shower?

God help me if you're a shower then shit...

Please keep this thread respectful and please do not do turn this into something distasteful or inappropriate!
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Bunk Moreland

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2022, 08:39:07 AM »
These are separate things. Do you only shit at home or what?

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2022, 08:42:33 AM »
These are separate things. Do you only shit at home or what?

First of all, yes. I only shit in public under absolute code red emergencies.

Second, this thread is about shits AND showers together. If this only applies at home, than so be it.
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Bunk Moreland

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2022, 08:55:10 AM »
Interesting. I make it a point to shit at work so I’m paid to shit. If I showered after every shit, my water bill would be out of control; I shit 3 times yesterday.

Why not do one better and just shit in the shower? Pop the drain up and go for it.

Mean salto

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2022, 09:14:42 AM »
Just get a bidet.

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2022, 09:18:34 AM »
Is that what you use?
This was a topic to discuss what you use, not criticize others!
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TastyBurrito

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2022, 09:19:36 AM »
I thought this thread was about shitting in the shower and waffle stomping the turd through the shower drain.

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2022, 09:20:35 AM »
It could be. There's no right way to handle this.
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Sila

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2022, 09:24:55 AM »
I preferred the sexy old people thread

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2022, 09:30:08 AM »
I preferred the sexy old people thread

Yeah well so did I, but a certain poster didn't know how to act like a decent, sensible person and ruined it for everyone. So here, now we get to talk about shitting instead.
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2022, 09:41:14 AM »
you have a brain disease

do you have access to clean drinking water cause you’re giardia posting left right and center. stop talking about your dick and asshole and you won’t have to tfw no gf to everyone you meet
Sorry for defacing your favorite internet website you loser

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2022, 09:42:20 AM »
Irrelevant to the topic at hand.
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2022, 10:25:38 AM »
I like a good poop and often shower right after
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2022, 11:40:23 AM »
I thought this was going to be another one of those weird fetish threads from the title

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2022, 11:55:53 AM »

manysnakes

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2022, 12:55:53 PM »
Just get a bidet.

For real. They’re like $40 and take 30 minutes to install.
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2022, 01:03:35 PM »
Bidets just don't have the brute strength and water pressue needed for what I do.
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Brguy

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2022, 01:27:03 PM »
You gotta wipe once or twice before the shower to avoid the strays.

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2022, 01:36:26 PM »
Bidets just don't have the brute strength and water pressue needed for what I do.

My bidet attachment very nearly gives me an enema at a quarter turn. Pretty sure full blast would blow my cock off, thing is basically a water saw rebranded as an underseat bidet...

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2022, 01:40:46 PM »
Expand Quote
Bidets just don't have the brute strength and water pressue needed for what I do.
[close]

My bidet attachment very nearly gives me an enema at a quarter turn. Pretty sure full blast would blow my cock off, thing is basically a water saw rebranded as an underseat bidet...

Hmm this is intriguing, sounds like we've advanced leaps and bounds in bidet technology since I last checked in.
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2022, 01:41:25 PM »
The event you're describing is called a shlower. I've heard of this before. It's what to do in the event of running out of paper on the bowl. I think it was mentioned in an old Thrasher come to think of it. The other option when you run out of paper is to make a sock puppet and have him munch down on brown town.

LB

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2022, 01:49:11 PM »
i lather both hands in bodywash then clean the barking spider with right hand then the sudsy left hand is ready to go to clean the right.
also i dont keep my toothbrush in shower/toilet room cos of microscopic floating shit particles laying to rest on my toothbrush

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2022, 01:50:38 PM »
i shit when i need to and shower when i need to, no integration ritual tbh

manysnakes

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2022, 03:27:25 PM »
Expand Quote
Bidets just don't have the brute strength and water pressue needed for what I do.
[close]

My bidet attachment very nearly gives me an enema at a quarter turn. Pretty sure full blast would blow my cock off, thing is basically a water saw rebranded as an underseat bidet...

I literally use my bidet to give me tiny enemas. Helps when you’re a little backed up or there’s a bit more up there you want to release.
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fulltechnicalskizzy

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2022, 03:55:01 PM »
The event you're describing is called a shlower. I've heard of this before. It's what to do in the event of running out of paper on the bowl. I think it was mentioned in an old Thrasher come to think of it. The other option when you run out of paper is to make a sock puppet and have him munch down on brown town.
wheres the l come from?

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #25 on: May 02, 2022, 04:04:49 PM »
Just get a bidet.
exactly, I was just about to reply, “what if I told you that washlets exist?”

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #26 on: May 02, 2022, 04:06:55 PM »
Look everyone, I'm aware that bidets exist. What you're doing is like if I made a thread that was about monster trucks and everyone started saying "Uh, just get a bicycle". I just wanna know how you guys wash your asses and if you have any crossover in those shit/shower times.
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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #27 on: May 02, 2022, 05:33:10 PM »
Look everyone, I'm aware that bidets exist. What you're doing is like if I made a thread that was about monster trucks and everyone started saying "Uh, just get a bicycle". I just wanna know how you guys wash your asses and if you have any crossover in those shit/shower times.

A bidet is a shower for your asshole. Crabwalking into the shower to spray your ass is downright uncivilized.

slappies

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #28 on: May 02, 2022, 05:38:50 PM »
Expand Quote
Look everyone, I'm aware that bidets exist. What you're doing is like if I made a thread that was about monster trucks and everyone started saying "Uh, just get a bicycle". I just wanna know how you guys wash your asses and if you have any crossover in those shit/shower times.
[close]

A bidet is a shower for your asshole. Crabwalking into the shower to spray your ass is downright uncivilized.

What of those who can't afford your fancy asshole shower? This is pure classism smdh
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brycickle

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Re: Shits and showers, living in harmony
« Reply #29 on: May 02, 2022, 11:59:35 PM »
Expand Quote
These are separate things. Do you only shit at home or what?
[close]

First of all, yes. I only shit in public under absolute code red emergencies.



 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of regular kids and a van full of paraplegics.