Author Topic: Pooping in public restrooms  (Read 1282 times)

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ok boomer

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Pooping in public restrooms
« on: June 16, 2022, 02:02:09 PM »
Let me start off by saying, this is my worst fear. Always try to drop the deuce before going out on the town.
I made it until the last month of high school before ever having to deuce at school. My friend consoled me on the way in - very much a "sorry man... hope you're alright" style.. because he knew of my disgust for public deucing.

Fast forward years and years... I guess one kind of accepts, when you gotta shit - you gotta shit. I still am not a fan, but what are you gonna do? Worse fear is shitting my pants. Anyway, as an adult, more or less just dealt with it. Last few years, if I have no choice, I just drop the kids off at the pool. But worse is when someone else is in a stall near or next to you. I suppose to ease my crap anxiety, I've tried to make it more uncomfortable for the other person. My favorite "technique" is going "yeaaah oh yeaah" just loud enough to be heard. Which I got from this at 0:13 :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVWk6IfRuEE

Today, I had another guest in the bathroom, and I let out a "yeaah release the Kraken!". Person probably going to have nightmares.

Huell Howser

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2022, 02:03:59 PM »
headphones in, if possible

SneakySecrets

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2022, 02:57:45 PM »
If I know that someone is waiting for me, all lower GI and urinary function completely seizes due to involuntary fight or flight response.  The ancient lizard part of my brain fully believes this person is likely to attempt to murder me mid-pee pee/poo poo.
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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2022, 03:23:33 PM »
I've never understood people's aversion to using public restrooms. If you've gotta take a shit, take a shit. No one cares. Everybody poops.
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PRISON IKE

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2022, 03:41:33 PM »
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, thatís why I shit on company time.
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GardenSkater77

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2022, 03:46:53 PM »
The question you have to ask yourself is ícan I make it home?í.

Last time I was at Newak Airport dropping a coworker off I decided I could wait the 1 hr until I got home. It was when I noticed the Molly Pitcher Rest Stop (shout out) was closed that I began to panic. Luckily, Exit 8 was not far away so I just barely made it to a Dunkiní Donuts and I was so relieved.

Pro tip: Dunkiní Donuts bathrooms are always cleaner than Starbucks. Starbucks bathrooms are always nasty.

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2022, 07:55:24 PM »
The question you have to ask yourself is ícan I make it home?í.

Last time I was at Newak Airport dropping a coworker off I decided I could wait the 1 hr until I got home. It was when I noticed the Molly Pitcher Rest Stop (shout out) was closed that I began to panic. Luckily, Exit 8 was not far away so I just barely made it to a Dunkiní Donuts and I was so relieved.

Pro tip: Dunkiní Donuts bathrooms are always cleaner than Starbucks. Starbucks bathrooms are always nasty.

I don't know man, where I grew up DD shitters were brutal. I worked at one for 3 weeks when I was a kid and had to clean bathrooms. real, real bad.
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Mean salto

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2022, 09:41:43 PM »
Got this idea that women's bathrooms are always nicer than men's because they have to sit down every time. There's always some dickhead that takes a piss all over the toilet and doesn't clean up so then the next guy is like well I'm not cleaning up thats someone else's mess and then messes on-top and is like well it's already messy and so on and so on until the toilet is a bomb site. This leads to stage two of the problem where guys only shit in public bathrooms when it's an absolute code Red. They held it until explosion point and just destroyed the toilet then leave as quickly as possible.

Lou Strux

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2022, 11:04:57 PM »
Public deucing: no thank you.

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TheLurper

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2022, 12:10:16 AM »
This poor bastard at the Eaton Center in Toronto was taking a shit and throwing up all over the floor. What a hellish day that must of been for him.


Worst public shit I ever took was in a train station in Moscow. Squat toilets, pay for toilet paper, shit on the walls/doors, and right before I went in there someone threw up on my legs. And then, I had a 30+ hour train ride down to Sochi. I was not stoked on life that morning.

I don't know man, where I grew up DD shitters were brutal. I worked at one for 3 weeks when I was a kid and had to clean bathrooms. real, real bad.
I worked fast-food for nearly all of high-school. I never cleaned the bathroom properly. I'd go in there, spray the cleaning fluid in the air and then walk right back out.

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2022, 12:47:21 AM »
For some reason I perform better in public spaces than I do at home?

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Buttfart Rapedick

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2022, 01:51:27 AM »
After years of shooting up in public bathrooms pooping shouldn't really bother me but I still hate it. I just don't want to hear or smell another dude shitting.

Theres a couple unmarked or otherwise hidden toilets in the depths of the hospital I work at. They're kind of straddling the line between public and private. I found one many moons ago when I was still just a patient there and was trying to find an empty room to mess around with my rehab roommate's daughter. Years later when I got hired I learned that there were  others scattered around the building and they're basically the maintenance guys private shitter network. I try not to abuse the privelege, but if I have to shit at work that's where I'm going.

There's also a lactation station (or as the little old black guy I was training once loudly referred to it - "the titty milk room") which requires a code for access, but I would feel pretty bad if someone had to come in and nurse their kid the day after an Arby's BOGO brisket sale. It might actually curdle the milk.

LB

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2022, 02:48:47 AM »
i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2022, 02:51:24 AM »
also dont keep your toothbrush in your toilet/bathroom.  shit particles, im telling you

Coastal Fever

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2022, 02:56:25 AM »
For some reason I always have to poop in thrift stores.  The smell of used clothing is a natural laxative for me.  Though theyíre arguably one of the worst poop-in-public spots due to the low noise level, lack of other concealing scents, and proximity to customers.  But if I have to go while out, no gas station, coffee shop or grocery store is safe.  Dgaf.  Probably get more self conscious about bad hair days than pooping in public tbh.

rukes

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2022, 02:59:13 AM »
I won't turn up my nose at free toilet paper hey
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jewelrunner

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2022, 03:46:43 AM »
i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles

This is a great one lol I'm using it from now on ty

jewelrunner

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2022, 03:52:07 AM »
Replying to the thread I refused to shit at public restrooms

When I was in college whenever I felt the need to poop I would go home and not come back for the day. I had to take the subway and boat (and then drive all the way from the boat station) to get home so that was like an hour commute.

One day it hit me so bad that I thought "Shit I can't make it home" so I went to one of the college restrooms. I felt so relieved after taking a massive dump that day that my fear had basically disappeared. I was shitting there every other day lol

Now everytime I'm out the house and I need to take a shit I just do it and continue with my day

But yeah I use LB's technique aswell, toilet paper on the seat and on the toilet.

Freelancevagrant

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2022, 04:24:04 AM »
I was a hella shy pooper up until I enlisted. Ideally, Iím pooping at home and using my bidet, but I also abide by the, ďAny port in a stormĒ mentality. Iíve got no problem shitting whenever or wherever. Outside, no toilet? No worries. Portapotties? Literally all the time, but mostly after I cleaned them. Bathroom at a grocery store? Hell yeah, that cute cashier three isles over is gonna hear that chicken vindaloo from last night being exorcised out of me.
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Gene_Harrogate

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2022, 05:49:47 AM »
I definitely avoid it if I can, and when i can't it's always a process.  I always survey the available stalls for the cleanest looking option, do a pre-flush, and layer up the seat with TP.  I've found that as I get older my bowels will tell me "This is happening whether you like it or not, so you better get onboard while there's still time."

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Sick_McCrank_

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #20 on: June 17, 2022, 07:15:37 AM »
This one time in Madagascar I ate a cheese ham toast at the airport. During the inland flight I felt like Iím gonna die and was not sure if I have to puke or to shit or both. That was the worst experience in a public restroom in my life. The following two weeks was puking and shitting liquids in the most remote part of the country.

And this one time In Thailand I went to the dining area restroom after some Chinese dude. That was disgusting, shit all over the place.

But usually Iím not afraid of public restrooms.
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skate_or_dingus

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #21 on: June 17, 2022, 08:08:49 AM »

BartHarleyJarvis

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2022, 08:17:39 AM »
I keep travel size baby wipes and lysol wipes in the kit at all times when away from the house. i know, i know, it's bad for plumbing and the environment but i use a bidet at home so hopefully it balances. Give the toilet a wipe with the lysol wipes, cover the seat, clean up with the baby wipes. Keep my airpods on noise cancellation so I can feel like i'm alone, keep the mask on. Works pretty well.
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Lou Strux

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #23 on: June 17, 2022, 08:23:49 AM »
i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
Shit particles, or, if you willÖ Poo-ticles?

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Buttfart Rapedick

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #24 on: June 17, 2022, 08:34:16 AM »
Expand Quote
i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
[close]
Shit particles, or, if you willÖ Poo-ticles?

Sharticles

HeavyAndExpensive

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #25 on: June 17, 2022, 08:36:29 AM »
I used to know all of the single use bathrooms (i.e. just a bathroom like you would have at your home) in the city that I could get access too.

The only one I remember now is 530 Walnut St - 3rd floor - the Superior Court there has a single use bathroom. I think anybody can just go up there still, as it is a court, but I'm not sure.

Buttfart Rapedick

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2022, 08:42:23 AM »
I was a hella shy pooper up until I enlisted. Ideally, Iím pooping at home and using my bidet, but I also abide by the, ďAny port in a stormĒ mentality. Iíve got no problem shitting whenever or wherever. Outside, no toilet? No worries. Portapotties? Literally all the time, but mostly after I cleaned them. Bathroom at a grocery store? Hell yeah, that cute cashier three isles over is gonna hear that chicken vindaloo from last night being exorcised out of me.

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logjammin

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #27 on: June 17, 2022, 09:00:35 AM »
First thread participation outside of gear threads, now you're speaking my language 8)

I have a weird germ thing with public restrooms. Putting down TP on the seat isn't enough and I get grossed out. I lift up the seat and squat n shit if I can't hold it until I'm home. Best timing is right after a janitor cleaned up the bathroom/toilets and the water still has the blue cleaner stuff in the bowl, that's when I know I can sit safely and in peace and take my time. Not sure why anyone would get "shy" and care about shit noises though. It's a dude bathroom, let 'er rip fellas.

Mean salto

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #28 on: June 17, 2022, 09:55:46 AM »
If we're doing bad public toilet stories (soz if this is really long) the other year I had to get a cystoscopy (camera in your dick) and afterwards you have to piss in a jug a bunch of times so it's a couple hours of just drinking water and going to the toilet. Anyway one time I go and I'm like ah I need to shit but it's a gross hospital toilet so I cover the seat in paper but still fully lean to one side and I like hold my junk out the toilet thinking if I need to piss I'll go in the jug. Anyway I guess my body was a bit different after the procedure but I randomly shoot out a jet of burgundy blood filled piss all over the wall and toilet paper. Then I'm trying to clean it up but the paper is that super cheap thin waxy paper so I'm using so much wiping the wall and floor then I notice there's still blood piss on the toilet paper roll but it's one of those massive like foot and a half diameter rolls so I unwind it straight into the toilet until there's no blood but the toilet now is completely full of paper like up to the seat. And I don't know what to do this might clog the toilet but I'm not reaching into a gross hospital toilet to get the paper out soon I flush and only a little bit goes down so I flush again and hold the button and of course it fucking overflows so I'm like hopping around (I'm barefoot and just wearing a gown) and luckily think to turn the water off at the wall so it wasn't too crazy but then very embarrassing having to tell the nurses Infront of a crowded room that I broke the toilet. The nurses were super pissed because I'd been in there a week earlier and been a bit of a handful but couldn't really do anything and I guess there was a bit of karma because I still had to keep pissing in the jug but now had to go all the way to a different toilet.

Pbn_jake

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Re: Pooping in public restrooms
« Reply #29 on: June 17, 2022, 10:00:12 AM »
I used to avoid pooping in public at all costs. Until I got a job as an arborist and had to dig holes to shit in.