Pooping in public restrooms

[Yonnycage]

I used to have public shitphobia until one time I had some insane stomach pains in Target and ran into the stall. Some dude came into the stall next to me a minute later and I happened to catch a glimpse of his feet (he was wearing flip flops) and dude had to have crazy burn scars or some kinda skin condition or something cause his shit was JACKED UP.

Toenails long, yellow and crusty as fuck and crazy amounts of skin peeling off his shit. He let out the most ear shattering, planet shaking song of his people from the deepest part of his bowels that I’m convinced to this day that people in the electronics section across the store had to have heard it, followed by the sound of what must have been his entire intestinal tract collapsing into the bowl at mach 10.

After that, I never felt weird about taking a regular shit in a public restroom as a normal, healthy adult. Someone’s always got it way worse than you. If I were that dude I’d never have come back to that Target for the rest of my life.

[Lenny the Fatface]

My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.

[Freelancevagrant]

My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.

This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!

[TheLurper]

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My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.

[close]

This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!

The password fight is such an absurd fight. My ex used to get super annoyed with me when I couldn't remember the password to her phone, but the she'd constantly ask me for the password to my computer. I was always like, "Do you remember when you'd yell at me for not remembering your password?"

[ok boomer]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.

[close]

This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!

[close]

The password fight is such an absurd fight. My ex used to get super annoyed with me when I couldn't remember the password to her phone, but the she'd constantly ask me for the password to my computer. I was always like, "Do you remember when you'd yell at me for not remembering your password?"

Got in one of these before work this morning. I'll admit it was me starting it though. "Why do you keep changing the Netflix password?". Son was just tryna get his Cobra Kai on

[Crusty Grundle]

Why not make an adventure of it... I haven't done this in a long while, but I used to go for the handicapped stalls and remove my pants and underwear and hang them on the hook that's usually on the back of the stall door. Then, I'd climb up onto the handicap bars and center myself over the toilet and release from 4ft up. It requires more skill than you'd think... if your aim is just slightly off, that extra distance between your hole and the target magnifies your poor trajectory and your log may end up on the seat or floor or both. Call it a "Monkey Poo"!

[Freelancevagrant]

Why not make an adventure of it... I haven't done this in a long while, but I used to go for the handicapped stalls and remove my pants and underwear and hang them on the hook that's usually on the back of the stall door. Then, I'd climb up onto the handicap bars and center myself over the toilet and release from 4ft up. It requires more skill than you'd think... if your aim is just slightly off, that extra distance between your hole and the target magnifies your poor trajectory and your log may end up on the seat or floor or both. Call it a "Monkey Poo"!

I fucking hate you.

[Mean salto]

Very rare for me. Swear every public toilet (or just toilets in general) now is like half as tall as they used to be which makes an uncomfortable situation much worse for a tall guy with bad knees, hip and back.
Last time I had to shit at this x-ray place and the door was broken so I had to have my leg fully stretched out like a cossack to have my toes on the door then their tp was that type that's like magazine pages. Not very pleasurable experience

[Frank]

had to use the restroom at the central station real bad once i came back from a long ass train ride. the janitor dude was very nice and insisted he'd clean up the only vacant stall before i step in to take a dump. one stall was locked up and the dude was clearly having a bad time, sounded like all types of textures and gasses shooting out of that guys ass and he was moaning like in pain.

so while janitor guy was cleaning out the stall the other guy finished and stepped out of his stall and holy fuck did that guy make a mess. it was bizzare because he came out clean in a suit but the whole toilet, like everything behind it and all was full of that guy's shit. dude spraypainted everything brown without visibly soiling himself even one bit. very impressive. also super disgusting. so i saw this and must have said something that made the janitor listen up and come out of the stall and janitor was of course so angry. we both gave the guy shit for fucking up that stall that bad. it was really absurd, it looked almost like he intentionally shat beside the actual toilet, going for max coverage and all. the dude's reaction was weird, as he claimed this was normal? the dude looked like an upper crust business type of guy, maybe he was just malicious and wanted to gave the janitor a hard time. unfortunately those people exist.

after that thing i felt so bad for the janitor, i took my dump in the stall he cleaned up before and tried to leave the stall as if it was brand new. and even tho this whole thing had nothing to do with me, i suffered from second hand guilt to the point where i just tipped the janitor with all the change i had in my pockets.

[Rohn_mob_joore]

Took a shit at a Home Depot today. All I could think about is how gnarly the shits gotta be of all the contractors that used that bathroom

[HeavyAndExpensive]

I work on the ground floor of a 4 story office building - there are minimal people on the ground floor.

On my floor there is the only single use bathroom in the building, with and adjacent shower room attached. Every morning I come to work, I'm the first person in, clock in, then proceed to dominate the bathroom. Afterwards, I take a long hot shower (nobody in the entire building uses it/even knows it exists.) Its amazing, my first hour of work is shitting and showering on company time.

[chockfullofthat]

I'm also a weird freak who knows where the most private shitter is in my office building.  It's a walk, but worth it.  Pro-trip is if you're on the road, hotels are the best place to poo.  The first floor often has a single person clean public bathroom.  You just have to confidently walk in and pretend you know where you're going.  This backfired one time when the whole first floor was being renovated. 
The dude at the front desk said "Where are you going sir?" I had to collect myself and come up with a lie. 
"Is this the Holiday Inn Express?" (instead of the Holiday Inn I was there to poo in). 
"No that's across the road"
"Oh, I see.  Do you have a bathroom I could use?"

[ok boomer]

I have started to enjoy shitting at work. Mostly cuz my boss owes me a raise and he knows it, so I take my time dropping logs at work regularly lately. I even came up with a little jam, based on "sitting on the dock of the bay". Where I changed it to "shitting on the company's time, watching the deuce flow away. Shitting on the company's dime, wasting time".

[Tic-Tac God]

Mammoth Mountain – Early November.
15 minutes before the lifts open, I’m in a public restroom the size of a small house. 15 stalls minimum and probably 25 urinals. It’s very soon after opening day so the crowds are minimal. I’m sitting there stoned and offloading, optimistic that each ounce I poop will help me on the mountain.

It’s quiet and echoey and from a stall off in the distance I hear loudly, “OHHHHHH IT’S TOO WIDE” A brief pause and then me and someone else (not the troubled dumper) start cracking up. 20 years I’ve been telling that story. I even tried it once in an airport bathroom, but didn’t get the laughs.

[Mean salto]

A few people must of had absolute nightmare shits at the world cup. Wonder what the facilities are like too bad if youre seconds from blast off and find out youre in the bathroom for the wrong type of toilet. I guess at least there's no alcohol.

[Prostate Exam]

Damn, I love this thread!

When I did my internship at a big software company there was this one dude. He was in his early 50's, quite corpulent to make it sound polite and a heavy smoker. You could hear him breathe from miles away.
At 10am everybody would go for a coffee to the cafeteria. The dude would go to the smoking area, stand at a table, smoke 2-3 cigarettes, inhale some croissants and chug two big cups of black coffee. This was his morning routine every single day.


After said routine he always started to get stressed out. His skin would turn even more red and he would start sweating. He then would walk (or almost run) out the smoking lounge and head for the toilets. You wouldn't want to be in the dude's way at this moment. He always looked like it was a matter of life and death. He would just rush into the restroom as if somebody was after him.

One time I happened to be dropping a log at the very moment when he came bursting into the restroom (I was able to identify him by his loud breathing). He would not even shut the door of the stall properly and within a millisecond of hearing him sit down on the toilet I heard the gnarliest bowel explosion I had ever heard. As quickly as he released his brown he would stand up, wipe, and head out of the toilet as if nothing happened.


I then passed the smoking area on my way back to my cubicle and the guy was just posting up there smoking a cigarette as if he just had the best sex of his entire life.

Whenever I saw this guy going for his 10am bathroom nuke I would always picture him wearing a firefighter suit.

[ok boomer]

Damn, I love this thread!

When I did my internship at a big software company there was this one dude. He was in his early 50's, quite corpulent to make it sound polite and a heavy smoker. You could hear him breathe from miles away.
At 10am everybody would go for a coffee to the cafeteria. The dude would go to the smoking area, stand at a table, smoke 2-3 cigarettes, inhale some croissants and chug two big cups of black coffee. This was his morning routine every single day.


After said routine he always started to get stressed out. His skin would turn even more red and he would start sweating. He then would walk (or almost run) out the smoking lounge and head for the toilets. You wouldn't want to be in the dude's way at this moment. He always looked like it was a matter of life and death. He would just rush into the restroom as if somebody was after him.

One time I happened to be dropping a log at the very moment when he came bursting into the restroom (I was able to identify him by his loud breathing). He would not even shut the door of the stall properly and within a millisecond of hearing him sit down on the toilet I heard the gnarliest bowel explosion I had ever heard. As quickly as he released his brown he would stand up, wipe, and head out of the toilet as if nothing happened.


I then passed the smoking area on my way back to my cubicle and the guy was just posting up there smoking a cigarette as if he just had the best sex of his entire life.

Whenever I saw this guy going for his 10am bathroom nuke I would always picture him wearing a firefighter suit.

might need his input on the "pooping vs cumming" thread

[companguero]

I had just left a shit at work when the boss went into the restroom soon after. he then comes out with the most offended look on his face asking around for the last person to use the toilet. I spoke up and he told me I had to clean the “brush stroke” (my phrasing) left in the bowl.

This really perplexed me.
One, IT’S WHERE THE SHIT GOES, what’s the bfd?!

Two, What’s the bfd!