How to know if you found the right woman?

[shpongle]

What are some clues, ideas, thoughts, feelings? I know answers will depend on person to person because we all have individual goals and desires. I just never been married or engaged before and would like help from some older gents.

[BartHarleyJarvis]

What are some clues, ideas, thoughts, feelings? I know answers will depend on person to person because we all have individual goals and desires. I just never been married or engaged before and would like help from some older gents.

Damn.... it's not that helpful but it is true that it's a 'when you know you know' thing. I was with my wife for almost 6 years before we got married, and the first couple years things were good but relatively normal, just a good solid relationship but plenty of bumps. Then the pandemic happened and we buckled down and everything felt really easy and comfortable, and at a certain point I just realized I didn't want to do anything without her.

I never thought I'd be a married guy, thought it was antiquated and people just get divorced blah blah but I was so excited to get married. She's my partner and my best friend and I trust her 100%.

[MOE SYZLAK]

She brings you lasagna to work.

[TheLurper]

She brings you lasagna to work.

Does it count if you number 37?

[IUTSM]

never been married but been with mine for going on 8 years or so. Some ups and downs, sometimes we both still don't know if it's what we're going to keep doing, but it works for now and we intend to keep going with it til it's not anymore.

Not sure that marriage is on the table. Kids may be cool, but marriage for us is more of legal thing that might be beneficial for stuff like health insurance and the like.

but about the right woman or partner or however you wanna phrase it, I think there's no need to rush into anything legally binding. If they're the "right" person, they're not going anywhere so long as you're doing the work together to make the love shindig work.

Me and mine, bro, we lived 3300 miles apart for a significant portion of it. we tried the polyamory. we tried setting rules and expectations. we have lived together for the last 4 years and it's been mostly good. there have been trying times that last more than a week or even a month, but it's usually one or the other of us working out own neurosis, working out our own shit that we're projecting. That's not to say that there aren't things that drive me up the wall sometimes, and there's things I do that drive her up the wall too.

we talk about all this shit, whenever we need to. Check out some non-violent communication (NVC) resources, it's great for couples (any interactions, really)

ram dass "the yoga of relationships" is a good talk. he talks about steven and Andrea Levine kinda disappearing from their social circle for a while so they could do the relationship yoga. I may have mentioned this talk before... anyways, will you "know"? probably not, but will there be a feeling you've gotta run with, a feeling you've gotta work with, yup.

[rocklobster]

There's a British sitcom (almost cringe comedy) called Peep Show and the main character is a bit of an odd ball struggling to find "the one". I really liked his quote when he kind of found her:

"Dobby, the acceptable face of woman. I hardly have to modify my behaviour at all in her company. I really think she might be "The One"."

No fireworks here, but "the one" is the person who accepts you for your who are and you are completely yourself around this person.

Edit: Peep Show S05E06

[Atiba Applebum]

I think they’d be about 16 apples tall

[Sativa Lung]

She'll lick your butthole. That's how they let you know.

[Easy Slider]

You have to find out if you are compatible in the long run. If moving together is too early, try just spending the weekend or a week of holidays together and see how that works.

[Paul Cicero]

When you have an argument, you both just eventually get to a point where you both just get over it, almost like you both know that you are not going to leave each other or take a break from one another other so you both let the fight go, make up and get on with life.

[Mark Renton]

I will never know.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

She tells you she loves you more than vegemite!
Also, helps if she can cook good vegan food
(Not to say that I don’t cook, but it’s great we’re on the same page when either of us are in the kitchen)

[Síota]

If they get drunk and threaten to kill you and your cat she is not a keeper.

[Spectre]

If they get drunk and threaten to kill you and your cat she is not a keeper.

If they say they'll kill you i get it but if they wanna kill your cat too that's a psychopath

[el chino]

If you have a dog, it will let you know, they can sense that sort of thing

[Sativa Lung]

If they get drunk and threaten to kill you and your cat she is not a keeper.

But the sex will likely be absolutely incredible.

[3D X-Ray Vision]

Clue #1: She is not from Russia.

All Russian babies are tightly swaddled in cloth after birth, 'to keep them warm', this is traumatic for them. Also Russian parents put Vodka in their baby formula 'to help them sleep'. I am not joking

[cky enthusiast]

dawgs recognize dawgs

[ok boomer]

if she noticed how good Brian Lotti's part was in the Planet Earth vid

[Mean salto]

Just fukn ask her, she probably knows. I'm seeing peep show, lasagna, Brian Lotti those things are definatly all bonuses. And someone who dislikes both Australians and now Russians so I guess that's cool.....

[3D X-Ray Vision]

I've always hated Russians. I have nothing against Australians I just get grossed out by the rampant use of the 'c word'. And I was mad. You're cool in my book Salto

[Mean salto]

I guess to be fair the only Russian I ever dated was crazy (yeah I know how hacky saying someone you dated was crazy is) and I can't say for sure they weren't given vodka as a baby

[3D X-Ray Vision]

I have known many of them personally and dated two of them. They are fucked in the head. Tolya and the Oktyabr dudes seem pretty cool though

[Síota]

Expand Quote

If they get drunk and threaten to kill you and your cat she is not a keeper.

[close]

But the sex will likely be absolutely incredible.

But yeah. But not wife-able. Especially when she wants kids. Fun for a good time not a long time.

[rocklobster]

She'll lick your butthole. That's how they let you know.

Before or after you've had a shower?

Before - this girl is freak, great sex but probably not wife material, get tested after
After - this girl has standards and will keep you to those in life, making you a better person, wife material

When you have an argument, you both just eventually get to a point where you both just get over it, almost like you both know that you are not going to leave each other or take a break from one another other so you both let the fight go, make up and get on with life.

+1, after the fight is over the both of you are done, said your peace, move on with life and don't harp on the past anymore.

[Sativa Lung]

Expand Quote

She'll lick your butthole. That's how they let you know.

[close]

Before or after you've had a shower?

Before - this girl is freak, great sex but probably not wife material, get tested after
After - this girl has standards and will keep you those in life, making you a better person, wife material

Expand Quote

When you have an argument, you both just eventually get to a point where you both just get over it, almost like you both know that you are not going to leave each other or take a break from one another other so you both let the fight go, make up and get on with life.

[close]

+1, after the fight is over the both of you are done, said your peace, move on with life and don't harp on the past anymore.

As long as I haven't taken a dump since my last shower I don't care. Turnabout is fairplay, if I'm willing to go in at a moments notice she better be too. Plus sex is like skating for me, I need a little grit and nastiness to really get into it. If you don't have to go wash your face when you're done anyways then it probably wasn't that good.

[layzieyez]

I thought my first wife was the one after living with her for over three years and not one argument. We didn’t last over a year and argued almost daily once we got married.

[sexualhelon]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

She'll lick your butthole. That's how they let you know.

[close]

Before or after you've had a shower?

Before - this girl is freak, great sex but probably not wife material, get tested after
After - this girl has standards and will keep you those in life, making you a better person, wife material

Expand Quote

When you have an argument, you both just eventually get to a point where you both just get over it, almost like you both know that you are not going to leave each other or take a break from one another other so you both let the fight go, make up and get on with life.

[close]

+1, after the fight is over the both of you are done, said your peace, move on with life and don't harp on the past anymore.

[close]

As long as I haven't taken a dump since my last shower I don't care. Turnabout is fairplay, if I'm willing to go in at a moments notice she better be too. Plus sex is like skating for me, I need a little grit and nastiness to really get into it. If you don't have to go wash your face when you're done anyways then it probably wasn't that good.

You mean washing your face after eating her out? What if she tries to kiss you after you cum on her face?

[Plan9Customs]

You actually enjoy being around each other. Other than that I don’t know. It seems like it worked for me. 22 years as of today.