Author Topic: share ur crazy stories  (Read 580 times)

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backfliptofiftyfifty

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share ur crazy stories
« on: August 02, 2022, 10:48:58 PM »
can be skate related or non skate related. nothing is off limits anything is on the table. ill start.

couple months ago met two dudes at my local. we played a game of skate and they absolutely thrashed me. they were chill so we went over to one of their houses and chilled out for a bit. one of the dudes brought a couple whippets with him and was like “wanna try em?”. me being the degen i am said “fuck yea” and he drove me and the other dude in his pickup truck around sum country roads. we’re pretty wasted at this point (sorry ik drunk driving is bad) and then i just fucking take the whippet while im in the back of this dudes pickup truck. shit felt like i was going millions of kilometres around the earth.


FUBAR

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2022, 03:00:03 AM »
I went to a skatepark one morning and there was no trash, sweaty shirts, and/or random crap everywhere. CRAZY!

Octopus

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2022, 03:56:00 AM »
One time I was buying groceries and I was farting and it smelled really bad so I figured I had to poop and went into the bathroom. I sat down but almost fainted becaise the farts were so stinky (smelled like cat food and onions). I prepared myself to crack the bowl in half purely based off smell alone, this was going to be some major destruction. I let loose and feel my bowels fully empty (half in pain half relieving) and the smell that followed can't be explained. I can try though. It was like a mixture of the cat food onion smell mixed with pizza that had been sitting out for a week with hot sauce poured on it that was lit on fire and extinguished with vinegar. Lastly, I get up to look at what  i've just expelled out of my asshole (everyone does that right?) and chuckle. I reach over while looking at my creation to grab some tp from the little metal box on the wall only to imediately start panicking. That's right. Public toilet massacre and they didn't replace the tp. So there I am just standing there with my south pole pants around my ankles with poop all over my asshole wondering what the fuck i'm gonna do. I get the bright idea to take off my underwear and use them as a wiping substitute, great works fine. Then, I decide im going to flush them so i flush the poop first because there was just so much of it. As soon as I flush I see the water level rising and start freaking the fuck out. Mind you my pants are at my ankles still. I hurry up and wipe the best I could and throw the underwear in the overflowing toilet hoping it would stop while i'm trying to pull my pants up. Shit water starts fucking pouring out all over the floor as i'm backing up towards the door tightening up my belt thinking "god damn what the fuck have I done?". I bust open the door and everyone is looking at me. They know. I don't know if they smelled the farts/poop or if they could tell by the look in my eyes. Neither. It's the shit water flood pouring out from underneath the bathroom door behind me. As I'm speedwalking towards the exit I hear an employee scream and then I turn around as I'm walking out the door only to see they opened the bathroom door and my underwear are floating down the shit water river like some kind of poop stained noahs ark. Never eating a chocolate milkshake and spaghetti before shopping again.
No wonder Gifted Hater hates this place.

LUGR

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2022, 06:44:22 AM »
For me it’s crazy, like.

live, laugh, love

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2022, 11:42:09 AM »
One time I was buying groceries and I was farting and it smelled really bad so I figured I had to poop and went into the bathroom. I sat down but almost fainted becaise the farts were so stinky (smelled like cat food and onions). I prepared myself to crack the bowl in half purely based off smell alone, this was going to be some major destruction. I let loose and feel my bowels fully empty (half in pain half relieving) and the smell that followed can't be explained. I can try though. It was like a mixture of the cat food onion smell mixed with pizza that had been sitting out for a week with hot sauce poured on it that was lit on fire and extinguished with vinegar. Lastly, I get up to look at what  i've just expelled out of my asshole (everyone does that right?) and chuckle. I reach over while looking at my creation to grab some tp from the little metal box on the wall only to imediately start panicking. That's right. Public toilet massacre and they didn't replace the tp. So there I am just standing there with my south pole pants around my ankles with poop all over my asshole wondering what the fuck i'm gonna do. I get the bright idea to take off my underwear and use them as a wiping substitute, great works fine. Then, I decide im going to flush them so i flush the poop first because there was just so much of it. As soon as I flush I see the water level rising and start freaking the fuck out. Mind you my pants are at my ankles still. I hurry up and wipe the best I could and throw the underwear in the overflowing toilet hoping it would stop while i'm trying to pull my pants up. Shit water starts fucking pouring out all over the floor as i'm backing up towards the door tightening up my belt thinking "god damn what the fuck have I done?". I bust open the door and everyone is looking at me. They know. I don't know if they smelled the farts/poop or if they could tell by the look in my eyes. Neither. It's the shit water flood pouring out from underneath the bathroom door behind me. As I'm speedwalking towards the exit I hear an employee scream and then I turn around as I'm walking out the door only to see they opened the bathroom door and my underwear are floating down the shit water river like some kind of poop stained noahs ark. Never eating a chocolate milkshake and spaghetti before shopping again.

Holy fuck! Have you been back to this place since?

Thrashpop

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2022, 12:57:29 PM »
I was in a gas station that got robbed at gunpoint.
Like 10,000 possible scenarios and options cycled through my mind in about a 1/2 second.
I decided to just walk out and hope he didn't call me out (or shoot me)
He didn't.

I'm thankful there wasn't some concealed carry Rambo wannabe in the gas station. As it stands, nobody got hurt and 7-11 lost like $100. If some maverick thinking he's John Wick whipped out his piece thinking he was gonna save the day, I would've been caught in a crossfire instead of just walking out and going home.

Blind Fisherman

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2022, 02:06:05 PM »
I think I shared this on my previous account here, but I'll share it again.
Back in November of 2016, a few days before Thanksgiving, my mom's at-the-time husband (not my father) came home drunk at 2AM when it was just he and I in the house for the weekend and proceeded to attack me while I was still asleep in my bed.
All I can remember is hearing "you motherfucker" before my bedroom door was kicked in then a flurry of punches strategically laid upon my cranium (under the hair so you couldn't see bruises; he was a former cop, go figure he'd know where to hit to hide evidence). After finally getting him off me and getting on my feet, I proceeded to beat the dog piss out of him all across the house. Broke his nose, cracked a few of his teeth, and nearly strangled him to death. Called my mom in the middle of it and just screamed "call for help, your husband is attacking me." Her best friend and her husband show up as I make my escape to my dad's house and they ask what happened. I just told them to go ask him and left.
A week later, my mom sits me down to talk about it. She blames me and says "well, you were the one who was drunk" when I had been asleep since 11 bc I had work at 4:45AM. We proceed to argue about that when I finally get her to realize that I was not in the slightest bit drunk. Then she poses the question "well, what are you going to do now?" Without thought, I told her I was going to move to Cleveland, OH with one of my best friends.
Made the move and came back home a year later with a better head on my shoulders.
Can never stay away for too long.

Spyro

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2022, 02:17:38 PM »
One time, I was on my way to Nashville, TN from Kentucky. We were almost to Nashville and had just passed Bowling Green, KY when I had to take a piss. It was me and 4 other friends and we smoked a huge blunt on the interstate about 3 minutes prior. We pulled off of the next stop and there was no gas stations. We turned left and saw a cemetery and I said "go into the graveyard and drive towards the back of it, I'll piss by the woods." We pull in and see a car pulled up in front of the mausoleum. The mausoleum was on top of a small hill, and hiding behind the wall (from the side we could see from) was a kid. It seemed like he was hiding from the car parked in front of the mausoleum. Standing beside the car was a man yelling at the kid but we couldn't hear him because our windows were rolled up. We decided to roll down our windows and the kid began yelling "help! help! help!" and the guy was just yelling "get the fuck back down here and get in the car!" We were scared shitless and were so damn high that we were like... uhh what should we do? So I get out of the car and yell "Hey kid, do you need help? Do you know this man?" and he just kept yelling help. We were afraid to get close because we were afraid the man had a gun, so we instantly called the cops. The cops said it'd take a minute to get there but to stay there. This is when shit got even weirder. I shit you not, the kid went back down to the car. The man popped his trunk, grabbed the kid and stuffed him into the trunk. He tried to shut the trunk but it wouldn't shut all the way. The kid hopped out of the trunk, ran around, jumped into the car and locked him out of it. The man busted out his window and got in his car and started slowly driving. Of course we were like, this is a fucking abduction and we're witnessing it. But we were all HIGH as fuck in a state that weed is illegal in, not to mention driving under the influence. We followed the car out of the cemetery for a moment. I called the police back and said we were on the road behind them and that they had left the cemetery. The cops said they were almost there. I told them which way they were driving. After the call I told my friends we had to bail on the car because we would be fucked as well. We got back on the interstate. I get a call from the cops about 3 minutes later asking where we were. I told them we were afraid they had a gun and we got on the interstate. They said they had pulled them over and wanted to personally thank us. They wouldn't tell me what the man was being charged for though. I just told them no problem, glad we could help. I still never got to piss.

EdLawndale

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2022, 04:13:06 PM »
^^^If true, that story is pretty crazy.
"Was just about to say, wtf is up with this EdLawndale guy?"

wane brady

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2022, 05:36:32 PM »
been shot at 2x, both in n. philly acting stupid..

chased a dude with a machete (he pulled a knife on a girl at a party we were at)

seen a few dudes beaten unconscious

i’ve been through a lot of nonsense

SneakySecrets

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2022, 06:54:58 PM »
Shot at some stupid asshole in north Philly twice.

Pulled a knife on a chick at a party and some guy chased me with a machete.

Been beaten unconscious a couple times.
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os89

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2022, 07:17:55 PM »
beans shit 2x, both in n. philly acting stupid..

chased a dude with a piñata (he pulled a mango on a girl at a party we were invited to but we were turned away from)

seen a few dudes getting beaten of

i’ve been through a lot of non sauce

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2022, 07:31:49 PM »
Used to work for Playboy and got to have sex with all the hot girls in it.

Stabbed a chick at a party with a machete when she shot at my really good friend.
CRACK RAIDER RAZOR

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2022, 08:03:33 PM »
Nothin that needs to be shared :-X
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wane brady

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2022, 08:31:30 PM »
Expand Quote
beans shit 2x, both in n. philly acting stupid..

chased a dude with a piñata (he pulled a mango on a girl at a party we were invited to but we were turned away from)

seen a few dudes getting beaten of

i’ve been through a lot of non sauce
[close]

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Mean salto

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #15 on: August 05, 2022, 03:23:00 AM »
One time cleaning out under an elderly couples house I find a bunch of these metal vase things. I pile them up and carry them outside and in the daylight I realise they were tank shells.

skating a popular spot in Sydney with some friends, there's like maybe twenty skaters there in little groups these two kinda homeless, kinda druggy guys come up and are going around asking everyone for shit just being a hassle. Ones being kinda nice and the other a total dick. Total dick one is getting angry people aren't giving him anything and everyone's asking him to get out the way etc so he cracks and is like ok fuck all you guys drops his pants, bends over and just starts to shit in the middle of the spot. Nicer guy sees this and is like omg wtf are you doing!! And runs up and kicks him up the ass exploding the shit in the process. So now mean guys lying on the ground screaming in pain and and nice guys like arrrrhhh freaking out because he has shit all over him. It was at this point we decided to go skate another spot that wasn't now covered in human shit.

Freelancevagrant

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2022, 04:41:46 AM »
I know a lot of folks know the story of the cop catching me eating butt in a Honda Accord, so that’s one. Would post upon request.

I got stabbed by a dirty syringe when I was a trash man. Hit a dude in the teeth with a cueball.

Shit my wetsuit in front of wee man in a Starbucks in Sam Clemente.
Please keep kooking me for talking shit about blading on a SKATEBOARDING message board

pedro_mayn

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2022, 06:48:59 AM »
It's a bit of wall of text, so I chucked it into the spoiler ting in order not to chock up the thread.

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
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Ricky Vaughn

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #18 on: August 05, 2022, 07:55:46 PM »

Frank

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Re: share ur crazy stories
« Reply #19 on: Today at 06:59:03 AM »
had a dude who was a buddy at the time but more or less homeless steal my apartment keys so he would crash at my pad when he knew i was aways to visit my gf without me knowing. we kind of found out by putting all the evidence together and then confronted him. it sucked cause i offered him to crash at my place anyway. he didn't steal anything, except that he usually smoked some of my weed and also at one point i guess he needed pants, so he took a pair of me and i saw him wear it and was like "bro those are mine wtf". he denied it at first XD i was just saying dude just ask for a pair of pants, it's fine. he's been doing that over the span of three months i guess. after that the whole circle of friends helped to set him up with an actual place to crash for the time being. we always thought he was homeless at the time, but he was too proud and always made up shit where he was staying. the guy actually got his shit together pretty well soon after.

lots of graffitit related stuff, like gnarly runs across train tracks, running from cops or security with dogs, generally close calls of almost getting caught. they are all more or less the same.

also sort of graff/weed related: this dude a couple years older than us who was a writer my friend looked up to came back to the area and lived in this big ass house that must have belonged to his grandparents or something. he was living there with a guy he met in jail who just got out and they were selling weed out of their house. it was kind of like a trap house, just right in the middle of a white middle class suburban neighborhood.
my friend started to hang out with them and so i ended up at the house and it was just fucked up. there was 13 year old kids from around the neighborhood smoking bongs and shit. it was like that type of place. the two older dudes would use them for chores and shit in exchange of letting them hang out at their crib and smoke some weed. fucking creepy. and that homie from jail turned out to be an ex-nazi with a big ass swastika tattoo on his chest. that dude was on some other shit than weed, too, for sure. those guys were fucked and i immediately didn't want anyhting to do with this shit.
well i was pulled back in when my fucking friend asked me to pick up a homie in the city. and it turns out it was that guy(not the nazi dude) after some grand weed purchase and i'm basically his taxi. so now i have this asshole with a sportsbag full of weed in my car, that's great. i guess i was less of a resistant person back then and just sort of abided the situation because i didn't throw him out of the car. instead i was like ok fuck it, i want to get home, let's just go.
immediately after we exit city limits a cop car turns up behind us. i know the worst thing to do right now would be to panic and stuff, so i tell the guys yo, just relax, we might get held up, just don't gesticulate and shit, we have cops behind us. the dudes in the back totally panic tho. i'm like wtf, they will think you're panicking and for sure stop us, just sit there and relax please. that cop car followed us around for 15 minutes until it thankfully took a left turn at some point. needless to say i was close to a heatattack. that could have been a hefty sentence. we made it back home and after that i made sure to absolutely avoid this guy and his ex-nazi friend and told my friend the same.

speaking of stories with cops, i've thankfully only been arrested and put in overnight a couple times. that's it. i will only tell a part of a pretty tragic story that's kind of crazy. i was arrested when my ex-roommate tried to commit suicide as a suspect when it wasn't clear it was a suicide attempt(she survived and is well). this was the best i was ever treated by cops, weirdly enough. after they did their forensic stuff in our pad and a short questioning we were allowed to go. i had a couple ounces weed at the place. they said that they found that, and that i shouldn't worry about it. that's not their business and they have no plans to involve anyone. they just left it there and the cop actually said "i bet you want to calm down after all this shit, so we just left it and pretend it wasn't there, ok?" coming back into a place after this stuff is weird as fuck. also all the forensics ash and stuff was still there. it felt like coming to a murder scene. she jumped out the kitchen window. i couldnt go into the kitchen for weeks and we just ordered take out. i moved away soon after, that event made me just want to leave the whole area and sort of start fresh.

not that crazy of a story, but i met will kinser from born/dead, red dons, no more art in berlin when we were both stranded cause we tried to hitch the same ride which didn't arrive. then we hung out and i managed to hook us up with a different ride. will is super cool. i've met him a couple times in the streets since then, but we never hung out, which is kinda sad. anyways, i'm a big fan of his music and stuff. just a crazy coincidence to meet a musician you dig out of the blue in that circumstance.

i probably had one of greatest fuck ups in hook up history, too. i had a short phase about ten years ago where i would go out alone only and usually get pretty wasted, just enjoying being not bound to other people during my partying. i was at a bar where a friend works at and was super drunk and sort of dancing. i don't remember what music played, but it might have been some deathrock/gothy punk. these two objectively super hot chicks that are look kind of dressed up start to dance hard with me. i'm sort of psyched, but i'm kind of asexual, so i also don't really knew what to do. i enjoyed dancing with them but i guess i was very intimidated by all that sexual energy. also i was already fucking wasted. needless to say i didn't hook up with either of them, much less both, so don't get your hopes up. but my friend working there later told me that they were actually bummed i just left and those were actually burlesque dancers who were doing a show at another club a day later. "bro you blew a 100% safe threesome with the two hottest chicks, well done." what can i say, i'm sorry, i just can't do shit like this lol.

also i met ronnie from the band sex addicts who do porn-punk at a bar. and the guy was so into me he crashed the meet up i had with two friends and basically lovebombed me on the spot. it was so uncomfortable. dude's a creep. he wanted me to come to a show and get naked. in the beginning i kind of went with his flirts a bit, but then it got way too intense and also how rude is that to just interject yourself. it took like 20 minutes of being increasingly hostile to him and subsequently leaving the place altogether. i literally asked the dude "please, stop it now, this is getting creepy." what an absolute weirdo. i normally feel flattered when i notice people want to fuck me, even if i don't reciprocrate, but i kind of try to see it as a complement. in that instance i wished someone wouldn't think i'm hot. he was constantly complimenting my looks to the point it felt like he actually made fun of me. i never leave a bar just because one person is annoying, that was pretty much the only time. it made me think of how shitty it must be for women who experience that type of behavior probably a lot more and even more intense. i was never lovebombed and pressured like that evening to the point where i almost felt i lose control over the situation.

i had this downstairs neighbor who died a few years back the night we had a gas leak and weren't allowed back into the house cause it could have exploded anytime. anyways, he died like a year after his wife. one day he asked me for some "help". i thought he needed me to carry something or whatever. turns out he was asking if it was possible for me to put my thumb up his butt. because his wife used to do that, and he really likes it, and he misses his wife, and he needs someone that does that now. and i was like holy shit dude, no way, just get a pro for that. told him he should ask his doc for prostate massage or something or just get a sex worker. i felt sorry for him. i don't think it's gross he likes it, but i'm not gonna do that. i haven't even stuck up my thumb in any ex gfs butt, i'm not going to start with a stranger now.

approximately one week ago i might have saved a little girl from getting run over by a police car who was about to speed over a red light. the light was green for pedestrians but there was a cop car with lights and sirens on speeding up and closing in which usually means to wait anyways. i see i little girl with headphones coming up behind me and she just starts to charge to make it over the street as long as the lights green, has no clue about the cop car cause she's not looking. i start yelling nonono, stop! and just in time put my arm and hand in front of her to stop her as the cop car whizzes by over the green ped light, maybe a boards width in front of her. that was pretty close. the little girl just looked up to me with an expression of holy shit. i didn't even say anything as my brain froze, too, in that moment. i just said ok let's go now when the car had passed. 

i have more, but this has to do for now.