long distance relationships in 2024

[fineslime]

I met a gal last week and we hit it off right away. Instant chemistry and I felt like if I didn't give her my number I would have regretted it... Chatted her up a bit, gave her my number, and she hit me up a few hours later! I found out she was visiting from Wisconsin (Wiscaansin,) and that it was her last day here the day I met her. Her parents live here, so she has a connection, and she wants to move to where I live.

Am I silly for wanting to continue to get to know someone who lives across the country? I have been single for a few years now, but have dated here and there and have no issues meeting women. My first serious relationship was long distance, and even at the age of 18 I somehow made that work. Is anyone here in a long-distance relationship now?

For those long distancers; is there any advice you would give me? Can a long-distance relationship work in 2024?

[TheLurper]

Long distance is hard.

I suggest playing it cool and seeing where it goes but don't over invest at this stage.

Also, if either of you have enough time/money to regularly visit one another, it'll obviously make things easier.

[botefdunn]

Dude, you met someone irl? Really happy for you and thanks for sharing. You know the answer, do what makes you happy. Distance ain't even a thing. Believe me, you could spend years sitting in your little shoebox apartment or your big ass house and never meet this great person even if they lived a block away. You were lucky enough to meet someone you seem to like and who seems to like you: pursue it.

*haha lurper posted while i was typing. what he says is wise, but i still think you should go for it. At the end of the day it's just time and money, what else you gonna do with it? Hop on a plane and have a casual hang, some serious romance in that.

[GardenSkater77]

Dude, you met someone irl? Really happy for you and thanks for sharing. You know the answer, do what makes you happy. Distance ain't even a thing. Believe me, you could spend years sitting in your little shoebox apartment or your big ass house and never meet this great person even if they lived a block away. You were lucky enough to meet someone you seem to like and who seems to like you: pursue it.

*haha lurper posted while i was typing. what he says is wise, but i still think you should go for it.

This guy is a romantic. In 2024 all you need is Snapchat. Put in the effort to get to know this person. Unless you connect with people real easy I wouldn’t underestimate this encounter. Girls love relationships that develop with no physical connections at first. How many times have we hung out out with girls who tell us we’re friends only to wind up dating them? Good luck.

[fineslime]

Expand Quote

Dude, you met someone irl? Really happy for you and thanks for sharing. You know the answer, do what makes you happy. Distance ain't even a thing. Believe me, you could spend years sitting in your little shoebox apartment or your big ass house and never meet this great person even if they lived a block away. You were lucky enough to meet someone you seem to like and who seems to like you: pursue it.

*haha lurper posted while i was typing. what he says is wise, but i still think you should go for it.

[close]

This guy is a romantic. In 2024 all you need is Snapchat. Put in the effort to get to know this person. Unless you connect with people real easy I wouldn’t underestimate this encounter. Girls love relationships that develop with no physical connections at first. How many times have we hung out out with girls who tell us we’re friends only to wind up dating them? Good luck.

this is why I love my pals <3

yes, I cold call met her IRL. I have not used dating apps in years now. she came into where I work and I noticed her instantly. I noticed her accent and asked where she was from because I have family in that part of the country. I kept noticing her staring at me from across the room while I wasn't directly with her, and I was able to slip her my number IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS! We interacted enough to where it didn't feel weird and I knew her parents could tell I was a respectful man. I meet or interact with at least 100 beautiful women a day (I'm not exaggerating) but this one made me nervous and I knew I would regret not trying to pursue talking to her. I had that fuzzy feeling in my tummy that I thought had been long dead.

funny you mention snapchat, that's what we've been using predominately, and man, this gal is cute. I don't believe in coincidences and I do believe everything happens for a reason. my heart and gut tell me to get to know her. plus, I'm not actively trying to meet or date or, "look," for anyone because of the position I'm in (working in a major metropolitan city.) I know that if I am meant to meet someone, God will put that person in my path, and maybe He did last week.

thanks guys.

[Sila]

Ultimately you know yourself better than anyone here. But from what you've described I think this is worth pursuing. Especially if you're talking to that many women daily and she stands out. These moments don't happen every day. It's been 9 years since I had that feeling and I still regret not getting that persons number, but I was with my partner (we were in an open relationship) and I could tell she was uncomfortable and could see we had an instant connection. You're doing alright.

[botefdunn]

This guy is a romantic. .

It's true.

[Síota]

I have been in two, one 2019 and one last year, take it easy at first is my advice. Try and meet up for a long weekend to see how it goes and go from there. I just wouldn't rush in and keep yourself free incase you meet someone local.

2019, started slow, she came to visit for a week and was perfect, she fell in love I wasn't too sure yet but stoked. She came back two months later (we skipped a month as to book a few trips, one being of dec, one for new years and one in the following January). Fucking disaster, the first night of the second trip she got wasted, tried to fight my ex, then made me buy her McPigs and on the walk home told me she wants to break up. Had to put up with her shit for a week before she fucked off home. Stupidly I booked the flights for the other two trips we had planned (not the one she broke up with me on thou).

Last year was just like spending time with someone and instantly knowing they are not for you. She was mad about me but I wasn't interested after spending a few days with her.

I actually was in another that started in 2015 with a friend from Dublin, I had moved to France the summer before and she came to visit me, when she booked the tickets, I was in a relationship and she was just coming as a mate to chill, but I went threw a messy break up like a month before she arrived. Was the first time I was ever single around her and vice versa and we knew the first night we were hooking up. Spent a week together and basically were in love. She went back to Dublin and came back 3 weeks later, for two weeks (to make sure it wasn't just a fling or whatever). It worked so she did a final round trip to get her stuff and moved in.

[fineslime]

I have been in two, one 2019 and one last year, take it easy at first is my advice. Try and meet up for a long weekend to see how it goes and go from there. I just wouldn't rush in and keep yourself free incase you meet someone local.

2019, started slow, she came to visit for a week and was perfect, she fell in love I wasn't too sure yet but stoked. She came back two months later (we skipped a month as to book a few trips, one being of dec, one for new years and one in the following January). Fucking disaster, the first night of the second trip she got wasted, tried to fight my ex, then made me buy her McPigs and on the walk home told me she wants to break up. Had to put up with her shit for a week before she fucked off home. Stupidly I booked the flights for the other two trips we had planned (not the one she broke up with me on thou).

Last year was just like spending time with someone and instantly knowing they are not for you. She was mad about me but I wasn't interested after spending a few days with her.

I actually was in another that started in 2015 with a friend from Dublin, I had moved to France the summer before and she came to visit me, when she booked the tickets, I was in a relationship and she was just coming as a mate to chill, but I went threw a messy break up like a month before she arrived. Was the first time I was ever single around her and vice versa and we knew the first night we were hooking up. Spent a week together and basically were in love. She went back to Dublin and came back 3 weeks later, for two weeks (to make sure it wasn't just a fling or whatever). It worked so she did a final round trip to get her stuff and moved in.

hey, Siota! great to see you in the thread! Thanks for the sound advice.

That is unbelievable that that first gal would do that to you on the very first night, and then you have to spend an entire week with her! how rough was that? did you guys eventually be chill with each other that week or was it just animosity? I have been in the, "getting to know you," phase with women who have proceeded to get out of hand wasted and it has pretty much always sealed the deal for me right away that I didn't want to continue getting to know them. I mean, sure, if you're with someone for a while and they have a little too much to drink, that kind of stuff happens, but to do it before you know someone is a huge red flag. If they could lose that kind of control of themselves that early on, there's nowhere to go but down.

[fineslime]

Ultimately you know yourself better than anyone here. But from what you've described I think this is worth pursuing. Especially if you're talking to that many women daily and she stands out. These moments don't happen every day. It's been 9 years since I had that feeling and I still regret not getting that persons number, but I was with my partner (we were in an open relationship) and I could tell she was uncomfortable and could see we had an instant connection. You're doing alright.

thanks, man. much appreciated.

[IUTSM]

No expectations, no status, no rules, no stress

If it’s anything but fun and 100% fulfilling, it’s not worth the energy.

See if y’all can be friends and all that jazz, and most importantly if it stops being fun, its not gonna be worth it

[layzieyez]

I thought this was a topic about Onlyfans.

[RoaryMcTwang]

Dude, you met someone irl? Really happy for you and thanks for sharing. You know the answer, do what makes you happy. Distance ain't even a thing. Believe me, you could spend years sitting in your little shoebox apartment or your big ass house and never meet this great person even if they lived a block away. You were lucky enough to meet someone you seem to like and who seems to like you: pursue it.

*haha lurper posted while i was typing. what he says is wise, but i still think you should go for it. At the end of the day it's just time and money, what else you gonna do with it? Hop on a plane and have a casual hang, some serious romance in that.

I second this. Good luck!

[Síota]

Expand Quote

I have been in two, one 2019 and one last year, take it easy at first is my advice. Try and meet up for a long weekend to see how it goes and go from there. I just wouldn't rush in and keep yourself free incase you meet someone local.

2019, started slow, she came to visit for a week and was perfect, she fell in love I wasn't too sure yet but stoked. She came back two months later (we skipped a month as to book a few trips, one being of dec, one for new years and one in the following January). Fucking disaster, the first night of the second trip she got wasted, tried to fight my ex, then made me buy her McPigs and on the walk home told me she wants to break up. Had to put up with her shit for a week before she fucked off home. Stupidly I booked the flights for the other two trips we had planned (not the one she broke up with me on thou).

Last year was just like spending time with someone and instantly knowing they are not for you. She was mad about me but I wasn't interested after spending a few days with her.

I actually was in another that started in 2015 with a friend from Dublin, I had moved to France the summer before and she came to visit me, when she booked the tickets, I was in a relationship and she was just coming as a mate to chill, but I went threw a messy break up like a month before she arrived. Was the first time I was ever single around her and vice versa and we knew the first night we were hooking up. Spent a week together and basically were in love. She went back to Dublin and came back 3 weeks later, for two weeks (to make sure it wasn't just a fling or whatever). It worked so she did a final round trip to get her stuff and moved in.

[close]

hey, Siota! great to see you in the thread! Thanks for the sound advice.

That is unbelievable that that first gal would do that to you on the very first night, and then you have to spend an entire week with her! how rough was that? did you guys eventually be chill with each other that week or was it just animosity? I have been in the, "getting to know you," phase with women who have proceeded to get out of hand wasted and it has pretty much always sealed the deal for me right away that I didn't want to continue getting to know them. I mean, sure, if you're with someone for a while and they have a little too much to drink, that kind of stuff happens, but to do it before you know someone is a huge red flag. If they could lose that kind of control of themselves that early on, there's nowhere to go but down.

The first girl (2015) was my mate in Dublin for like 7 years but I was in a long term relationship with another girl the whole time (my gf at the time was friends with her also). We had always got on well I guess it was like some times the thing you are looking for is in front of you but you just can't see it..It's hard to explain what happened...

Oh shit your talking about 2019! Hahahaha, we had already spent time together like a week in October (plus a long weekend when we met) , the next time being of December sucked. Like I met her at the bus depo after her flight/bus her and we went straight to see a punk band..she was already a bit drunk, my ex from 2015 was there and 2019 tried to fight her...so stupid.. anyways she (2019) had no money and slept at mine for a week and I had to explain to everyone in French we broke up but I can't kick her out...was so horrible. Honestly after breaking up with 2015 I was sigle for a month until 2019 . After 2019 went home I too time off for myself the before you knew it COVID hit ..sucked.

As for red flags, dude the more there are the harder I fall lol.. you know like everyone tells you no, so you just gotta do it. Like a red button that says don't push, can't help it.

[steezenking]

December 2018 was at a bar with a buddy and met a woman. She and her friends were visiting my small town as it was the half way point between where she lived and her friend lived, about 2 hours south.  We hit it off. While talking she asked if I could visit anywhere, where would I visit, I said Japan. She started laughing because she lived in Japan and was just back in the states for christmas break visiting her parents. She was leaving in a week. Over that week we spent 3 days together and basically texted and were on the phone/facetime the rest of the time. We both knew how we felt but during our goodbye we agreed we shouldn't "say the words". We planned for me to visit Japan. 10 days after she left, pretty much constant contact, I put in my 2 weeks notice and booked a flight to Japan, and moved there. 5 weeks after meeting and 3 physical days of being together. Best thing that has ever happened to me

however, We came back to the states in april of 2020 due to covid. When August rolled around she had to return to Japan but I couldn't because they had closed borders and I wasn't a resident. With no end in sight, (and probably another guy), things ended a few months afterwards.

But if it feels right, do it. I knew after the first night of knowing her.

[LordManHammer]

As many of you pals know and seen on the message board I've had my own flaws and my downfalls from Florida to Chattanooga I was in a very very bad spot for a long time 13 years I was with somebody who was awful to me and for me. yeah of course we had a good time together but those times and the hearts change after a while.


Upon further reflection in my life those 3 years I started small but I also had little goals that I had set forth for myself one being trying to make up or at least reconcile with your deadbeat mom that didn't go too well get your license get a car. Now mind you I only came to Tennessee with a box of boards and a duffel bag full of clothes.

I didn't want to be with anybody for at least those 3 years and it f***** me up it really f***** me up but then I saw who was to be my wife now.  I've known her for 16 plus years we always kind of flirted when we used to know each other but we were with different people at the time I'd pick on her and she'd pick on me back because I can't out right flirt with her when I'm with somebody else.

Well we both lost a good friend  R.I.P.. (Nick Deaf Bastard) we started talking again about recovery and stuff that was the beginning of a long distance relationship. Back and forth texting and FaceTime along with meet ups here and there I came out her Denver and she came out to Chattanooga,  really nice time together, at one point we asked what's going to happen with us like ones going to have to make the jump the distance thing might not last,  I just didn't see anything going for myself in Chattanooga my mom turns out it's a f****** b**** the place I was staying at it was only temporary and May 8th I finally just said f*** it packed all my s*** up don't mind you I in the beginning I had started off with a duffel bag full of clothes in a box full of boards, now I have an old Grand Marquis Mercury three big ass amps shitload of skateboards four guitars and just a hope in my heart and it's been history ever since.

If you're definitely feeling it go for it if not and you have any reluctance and you got better things to do better to quit now than to get your heart broken later.

[fineslime]

December 2018 was at a bar with a buddy and met a woman. She and her friends were visiting my small town as it was the half way point between where she lived and her friend lived, about 2 hours south.  We hit it off. While talking she asked if I could visit anywhere, where would I visit, I said Japan. She started laughing because she lived in Japan and was just back in the states for christmas break visiting her parents. She was leaving in a week. Over that week we spent 3 days together and basically texted and were on the phone/facetime the rest of the time. We both knew how we felt but during our goodbye we agreed we shouldn't "say the words". We planned for me to visit Japan. 10 days after she left, pretty much constant contact, I put in my 2 weeks notice and booked a flight to Japan, and moved there. 5 weeks after meeting and 3 physical days of being together. Best thing that has ever happened to me

however, We came back to the states in april of 2020 due to covid. When August rolled around she had to return to Japan but I couldn't because they had closed borders and I wasn't a resident. With no end in sight, (and probably another guy), things ended a few months afterwards.

But if it feels right, do it. I knew after the first night of knowing her.

this was an awesome story. thanks for sharing.

killer thread, everyone!