My life at the moment. I just got back from a long trip in Colorado with my mom and sister. Wasn't too bad. The rides were long and the conversations weren't bad, but my mom has a shitty attitude. She acts like she's the only one with problems, she acts like a victim, she had a really rough childhood but she claimed to have "Let it go". This isn't the truth, she uses her past as a way to say she's tougher than everyone else. This is the same woman who left me at 7 and blamed me for it years later.
I just wish I was raised with caring parents who held me and told me they loved me. Neither of my parents did that.
I am living with my mom until I am done with trade school then I am southern bound. She mocks my ideas and thinks they are unrealistic but I don't need her support to achieve what I want.
I want to have a family, I want to love my children the way I never was. I want to let go. Does anyone have an idea how to let go? It's hard. My mom has this idea that she lets everything go but as soon as you make her mad, she throws it right back at you.
I want to be a better person than her. I want to be a smiling person who let go of the past and looks toward the future.
My attitude needs to change. I need to accept that people are people. People are strange just like me.
I don't have a lot of friends, I have some that really care. But I feel like I have to be alone. It's like life is telling me that I am a lone wanderer.
I'd like to help more people, make people smile and make them feel and be better than I am. I want to benefit people and help them, I want to be the friend I never had growing up.