Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 204712 times)

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bumptobar

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #150 on: June 08, 2008, 08:23:58 PM »
I sharted in a restaurant once. It was about a couric and a half of the brown stuff, with the consistency of ketchup. I took off my tighty whiteys and threw them out then cleaned up. I was so ashamed I didn't talk the rest of the night. I was scared everyone knew. My mom suggested we go for a walk after, but I made sure we got home as fast as possible so I could shower.

One time i sharted at work and i had to just sit through it.  I just pissed and the bathroom is by my boss so going there wasnt an option.  I had to sit in shart for the remaining ten minutes then had to drive home, it was the worst.

bill hates

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #151 on: June 08, 2008, 09:01:53 PM »
im into wiping with gift wrap now, cause i figure anything i do is kinda a present to all humanity.

kilgore.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #152 on: January 02, 2010, 08:24:00 PM »
oh jesus, i was really into wiping my ass at this point in my life..
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Nic

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #153 on: January 02, 2010, 10:14:24 PM »
This is the first time I've read this thread and I'm glad it's been brought back.

For me I like to stand up and wipe, but there is a problem with that. In my bathroom the mirror is behind the toilet so when I go to throw the TP in the toilet and I always look at my hairy asshole. No matter how hard I try not to look it always happens and I get so angry.

With the boner in school 's the girls in my highschool always wore the the really short volleyball shorts and a few wore thongs and being younger and in highschool that was really hot. We always played dodgeball and jiggling boobs and short shorts definitely got me a little excited. I just used to tuck it in the waist band and tie them pretty tight so it wouldn't escape, but one time I got hit right in the dick with a hard on and that shit hurts so bad. 

HoneyBear

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #154 on: January 03, 2010, 01:00:18 PM »
I'm a stand wiper.I like those ghost shits you have.Like you take a shit and you wipe and then there is nothing on the TP.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 01:30:15 PM by HoneyBear »

1992

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #155 on: January 03, 2010, 03:50:04 PM »
The other day I was at my homies house and he was out of toilet paper and I ended up using some napkins from Jack In The Box and then got a gnarly case of chafe. I was walkin' around all bull-legged like I just got done doin' a rodeo. Not very comfortable.

SleepyPeePee

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #156 on: January 03, 2010, 03:59:22 PM »
The other day I was at my homies house and he was out of toilet paper and I ended up using some napkins from Jack In The Box and then got a gnarly case of chafe. I was walkin' around all bull-legged like I just got done doin' a rodeo. Not very comfortable.

haha i just thought of this 92' but imagine them being the napkins they throw in the bag with ur food, & theres salt & grease on them.. THEN whipe your butt, thus chafing it with the top off of salt&grease.

..not a good time
would you rather hear "woo" from the omar salazar pack? i wouldn't. their "yeahs" are genuine, and cool. "yeah" has been the battle cry of skaters for as long as i can remember.

1992

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #157 on: January 03, 2010, 04:08:52 PM »
^^^Oh man. The thought of that makes me cringe. I can't imagine having some Jack In The Box "secret sauce" and onion ring grease mixed with salt anywhere near my precious brownstar. If that was the case I would probably be able to break records in the 100 yard dash by running around wildly. Having to wipe with something that had the consistency of cardboard was bad enough. Hahaha.

SleepyPeePee

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #158 on: January 03, 2010, 07:25:28 PM »
hahaha right when i thought about it my asshole tingled with fear..

so i know where your coming from.

that would be a shitty situation
would you rather hear "woo" from the omar salazar pack? i wouldn't. their "yeahs" are genuine, and cool. "yeah" has been the battle cry of skaters for as long as i can remember.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #159 on: January 04, 2010, 12:16:53 PM »
damn cant believe there are so many standers. i used to stand up when i was little but then i noticed like everyone in the world was sitting down whilst wiping, namely my dad. its not like i watched them wipe but i just noticed how i never saw anyone else in stalls with their feet facing the other way.  nowadays if i want to stand up and wipe (for some reason i do sometimes) it feels like i can hardly even get in there.

also, it depends on the shit. i have taken shits where i didnt evne have to wipe, its fucked. ill put the toilet paper in and it just comes out solid clean. i am bad for holding my shits back though. i dont even take a shit every single day, and when it is one of those real dry shits that are humongous, they always feel the best and always wipe the best. not a razor sharp one thouogh somewhere in between there.

i hate diarhea shits you gotta wipe like 80 times. i also just use 1 square at a time, (unless its diarhea shits). i know, crzy right? but i have my ass wiping dialed. i just dab softly, but not to be gay to finger my butt hole. but you gotta do it till shit is all gone or else your ass is all itchy. i hate that. i let that slide once when i was in japan i itched my ass so much it bled.

i never get pooh on my fingers. im pretty precise. also i dont take off all clothes but i ALWAYS fold my shirt up and tuck it under my chin. sometimes i get shit on the toilet seat and then sit back on it though i dont even know how that fucking happens. also sometimes when its a real bad smelling shit or im at a girls house or something i just flush it as soon as all shit has dropped out of my ass in hopes that the smell will mostly go away and then flush a 2nd time for toilet paper. it also reduces chances of the toilet clogging, you dont want to be fucking around with a toilet clogged at some girl's house if its the first time you are hangin out or whatever. can leave a mad shitty first impression.
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Upgrayedd

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #160 on: January 05, 2010, 07:28:37 AM »
courtesy flush: once for the bulk, once for the remainder. 


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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #161 on: January 05, 2010, 09:21:26 AM »
i only stand up to wipe when i get swamp ass.  thats when your ass is all sweaty/slimey and feels like you got left over shit between your butt cheeks.  you're unsure if you wiped well enough before so you have to find your way to the nearest bathroom and give yourself a safety wipe to make sure you're not walking around stinking up the joint. 
not to mention, nothing will turn a girl off more then the scent of fecal matter and a brown racing strip down the ass crack of you boxers.  i remember this girl didn't wipe too well and saw a brown streak in her panties, it left my millimeter peter limp and had me running for the door.             

EricLogan

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #162 on: January 07, 2010, 03:26:07 AM »
I've torn my asshole so many times wiping, which leads me to wonder

Is it possible to get some form of hepatitis from one's self? if so, how common is it? I swear i see at least one tiny droplet of blood a month while wiping
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #163 on: January 07, 2010, 07:36:25 AM »
one tiny droplet is probably ok; you should try and be a bit softer on the shit
if you are constantly getting shit infected sores then im sure you can get real sick from it.
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the whompler

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #164 on: February 10, 2010, 01:29:31 PM »

LloydChristmas

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #165 on: February 23, 2010, 07:25:14 PM »
I swear i see at least one tiny droplet of blood a month while wiping
one tiny droplet is probably ok
i hope so.  i'm usually a stander/looker but when sitting i'm a leaner/shirt biter with reach-around tendencies.

TheFreshSC

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #166 on: February 23, 2010, 07:36:26 PM »
6 pages about wiping your butt? i knew i liked this place for a reason

Crazy Ralph

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #167 on: February 23, 2010, 07:50:48 PM »
shit sucks..pooping takes up too much time, im over it
You either die a hero or live long enough to watch yourself become the Berra.

niclopse

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #168 on: February 23, 2010, 08:29:58 PM »
spreadin the mulch sucks and so does cleaning it off

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EricLogan

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #169 on: March 04, 2010, 04:15:30 AM »
one tiny droplet is probably ok; you should try and be a bit softer on the shit
if you are constantly getting shit infected sores then im sure you can get real sick from it.

Well, I don't literally rip my ass shitting or even wiping, it's when I get the spread going that I feel a sharp, tearing pain.

I've never looked at what actually tore in the mirror, but after examining the t.p. post-wipe, it would appear that the tear is at least 1/2 inch from the dirt-button itself, but that's still a bit too close for comfort.
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.

MexicanSpaniard

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #170 on: March 04, 2010, 09:18:41 AM »
Expand Quote
one tiny droplet is probably ok; you should try and be a bit softer on the shit
if you are constantly getting shit infected sores then im sure you can get real sick from it.
[close]

Well, I don't literally rip my ass shitting or even wiping, it's when I get the spread going that I feel a sharp, tearing pain.

I've never looked at what actually tore in the mirror, but after examining the t.p. post-wipe, it would appear that the tear is at least 1/2 inch from the dirt-button itself, but that's still a bit too close for comfort.
Natural taint reduction?

Beeda Weeda

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #171 on: March 05, 2010, 08:00:56 AM »
i might have posted this a while back in the thread.
I was a young lad, 8-9, watching my cousin's hockey game with my grandmother at a local rink, I took a mid game shit in the public washroom, only to find there was no Tp, I checke dthe other stall, no TP, so I did the next best thing, took both my socks off and used my socks to wipe my ass,, and used the cotton gloves I had on to make sure I ddint miss anything, and made up an awkward childs lie of what  happned to my socks and gloves.

EricLogan

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #172 on: March 05, 2010, 09:36:58 AM »
i might have posted this a while back in the thread.
I was a young lad, 8-9, watching my cousin's hockey game with my grandmother at a local rink, I took a mid game shit in the public washroom, only to find there was no Tp, I checke dthe other stall, no TP, so I did the next best thing, took both my socks off and used my socks to wipe my ass,, and used the cotton gloves I had on to make sure I ddint miss anything, and made up an awkward childs lie of what  happned to my socks and gloves.

I end up shitting in public 3-5 times a month, and I almost always use my socks, or at least one of them. That must've been a mondo messy shit if you needed 2 socks and 2 gloves.
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #173 on: March 26, 2010, 12:30:42 PM »
Expand Quote
i might have posted this a while back in the thread.
I was a young lad, 8-9, watching my cousin's hockey game with my grandmother at a local rink, I took a mid game shit in the public washroom, only to find there was no Tp, I checke dthe other stall, no TP, so I did the next best thing, took both my socks off and used my socks to wipe my ass,, and used the cotton gloves I had on to make sure I ddint miss anything, and made up an awkward childs lie of what  happned to my socks and gloves.
[close]

I end up shitting in public 3-5 times a month, and I almost always use my socks, or at least one of them. That must've been a mondo messy shit if you needed 2 socks and 2 gloves.

when you are young you dont know about efficiency.
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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #174 on: March 28, 2010, 09:24:18 AM »
I take about 4-5 squares depending on how thick or watery the shit is. Then I'll fold that same piece until there's no more room to hold it without touching shit. Front to back. Check it every time I wipe, that's fucking vital. 

kevbo999

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #175 on: March 28, 2010, 12:54:48 PM »
5-7 squares, wipe, fold, wipe, check, drop.

oyolar

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #176 on: April 01, 2010, 06:02:46 PM »
I hate when you take a small/normal sized shit and it takes forever to get your ass clean. Happened today and it sucked.

Alan

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #177 on: April 02, 2010, 02:53:59 AM »
You know, it probably means there's another small shit waiting to get out, it just needs a bit more time.
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angryfacedman

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #178 on: April 02, 2010, 09:35:00 AM »
I'm waiting for that shit right now..

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #179 on: April 02, 2010, 10:01:25 AM »
All you 'courtesy flushers', do you remain seated during the courtesy flush? If so, have you thought about the mini tornado of poo and piss particles spiraling upwards towards your buttcheeks, balls and dick?

Stand up, close the lid, flush, resume.