Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 204660 times)

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ROCKxADIO420

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #300 on: March 25, 2015, 05:48:09 PM »
im done with wiping its fuckin 2015

Willie

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #301 on: March 25, 2015, 07:06:14 PM »
im done with wiping its fuckin 2015

Using the 3 sea shells?

straight

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #302 on: March 26, 2015, 03:30:51 PM »
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im done with wiping its fuckin 2015
[close]

Using the 3 sea shells?

If there are sea shells nearby that means there is a body of water close too. Sea shells are way too dangerous. Just need a good ol fashion aqua wash. Don't be afraid to get your fingers all poopy. Salt water kills germs.

ttching!

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #303 on: March 30, 2015, 02:43:38 PM »
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im done with wiping its fuckin 2015
[close]

Using the 3 sea shells?
[close]

If there are sea shells nearby that means there is a body of water close too. Sea shells are way too dangerous. Just need a good ol fashion aqua wash. Don't be afraid to get your fingers all poopy. Salt water kills germs.

Behold ye, bidet-henge:



pencil

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #304 on: October 29, 2015, 03:05:35 PM »
would you rather read an abudabi post or have a screwdriver shoved up your ass?

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #305 on: December 07, 2015, 05:14:22 AM »
2nd wipe i spit on the tp.  - its nice, B.
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

Andrefosho

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #306 on: December 15, 2015, 06:36:40 AM »
it's hard to know when to stop wiping when there's just more and more blood every time I wipe
I feel you bro. I have hella hairy butt including hair in butthole area. Sometimes the shit is very sticky and I'm pulling out hair while wiping, and then it's blood marks on paper. Feels sketchy to wipe, but I have to somehow finish the task.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #307 on: December 17, 2015, 05:36:28 AM »
  ^  try 'chilling out' a bit b4 wiping man that sounds brutal, ripping out hair?
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

franquietits

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #308 on: December 19, 2015, 03:11:49 AM »
Anyone here ever have "clean" shits? Where a nice quality of poop comes out so smoothly and swiftly that you don't really have to wipe.
Seems somewhat rare. A couple times it happened and I tried to wipe anyway only to see a my toilet paper sans residue.

Lasernaut

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #309 on: December 19, 2015, 04:15:34 AM »
Anyone here ever have "clean" shits? Where a nice quality of poop comes out so smoothly and swiftly that you don't really have to wipe.
Seems somewhat rare. A couple times it happened and I tried to wipe anyway only to see a my toilet paper sans residue.
I moved to Hamburg to study in september. My roommate and I started eating a lot of quality butter and oily food down there. A lot of vegetarian food too. To me it seems that if you eat a lot of fibres and oily/buttery stuff you'll poop ghosts. No traces except maybe a bit of ectoplasm.

But then again, I have a fickle stomach. Might not work for everyone.


tobey

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #310 on: December 19, 2015, 11:45:30 AM »
Anyone here ever have "clean" shits? Where a nice quality of poop comes out so smoothly and swiftly that you don't really have to wipe.
Seems somewhat rare. A couple times it happened and I tried to wipe anyway only to see a my toilet paper sans residue.

Every single time i drank, my shits the next day would be no wipers. Thats why im an alcoholic

pinch a loaf

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #311 on: December 19, 2015, 01:14:44 PM »
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Anyone here ever have "clean" shits? Where a nice quality of poop comes out so smoothly and swiftly that you don't really have to wipe.
Seems somewhat rare. A couple times it happened and I tried to wipe anyway only to see a my toilet paper sans residue.
[close]

Every single time i drank, my shits the next day would be no wipers. Thats why im an alcoholic

I feel you. No wiper days are the best days.

Xtal

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #312 on: December 19, 2015, 02:50:43 PM »
It's all about that UltraCush HD Cottonelle.

Lasernaut

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #313 on: December 19, 2015, 03:03:15 PM »
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Anyone here ever have "clean" shits? Where a nice quality of poop comes out so smoothly and swiftly that you don't really have to wipe.
Seems somewhat rare. A couple times it happened and I tried to wipe anyway only to see a my toilet paper sans residue.
[close]
I moved to Hamburg to study in september. My roommate and I started eating a lot of quality butter and oily food down there. A lot of vegetarian food too. To me it seems that if you eat a lot of fibres and oily/buttery stuff you'll poop ghosts. No tracers except maybe a bit of ectoplasm.

But then again, I have a fickle stomach. Might not work for everyone.


Fixed.

franquietits

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #314 on: December 20, 2015, 02:12:25 PM »
Hmmm, interesting with no no-wipers comments. I always wondered why some people proclaim, "I'm gonna go take a shit" & then they come back within like 2 minutes, where as a lot of people including myself might take up to 10 or longer. Maybe they fake it just to leave a good impression or something.

pencil

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #315 on: December 20, 2015, 06:47:02 PM »
this thread is the reason why i signed up for slap
i just googled wiping ur butt i dont even sk8
would you rather read an abudabi post or have a screwdriver shoved up your ass?

Coconut Lotion

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #316 on: January 02, 2016, 04:32:39 PM »
Wet wipes essential. Life changer

Tay

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #317 on: January 05, 2016, 12:59:55 AM »
Wet wipes essential. Life changer

Several people have sworn by this, butt wipes seem like a larger investment than toilet paper. Could you post a play by play cost-benefit analysis friend?

I've recently been informed I got life fucked up for practicing a wiping technique which involves spreading one's legs and expunging fences by wiping any excrement backward. I'm playing the lottery here comrades cuz I gotta uncontrollable bladder so occasionally I tinkle on the tp going in. Thing is, I find it to be an optimal solution due to the time-saving aspect of spreading your cheeks before being seated. Not to mention biking really takes its toll on the hindquarters.

Thanks in advance for any advice. Love you guys!

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #318 on: January 18, 2016, 11:31:18 PM »
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Wet wipes essential. Life changer
[close]

Several people have sworn by this, butt wipes seem like a larger investment than toilet paper. Could you post a play by play cost-benefit analysis friend?

I've recently been informed I got life fucked up for practicing a wiping technique which involves spreading one's legs and expunging fences by wiping any excrement backward. I'm playing the lottery here comrades cuz I gotta uncontrollable bladder so occasionally I tinkle on the tp going in. Thing is, I find it to be an optimal solution due to the time-saving aspect of spreading your cheeks before being seated. Not to mention biking really takes its toll on the hindquarters.

Thanks in advance for any advice. Love you guys!
[close]

Isn't it kind of wild how there could totally be a science to optimal pooping and wiping? Hoping the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation gets to the bottom  ;D of this.
Feel like you gotta go both directions for optimal cleaning--also, never understood why the bidet hasn't caught on in North America. Like, if you got poop on your arm, would you just wipe it off? Nah.

Too big of a change for people haha
I tried one once, you are never ready for the stream. You think you might be but, the stream will get you
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

tobey

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #319 on: January 25, 2016, 10:02:47 PM »
So i take a shit every morning like a normal person does but when it gets later in the day i have the feeling to shit again. I refuse to poop twice in one day because my asshole sucks and i literally spend at least 3 minutes just wiping. I use at least a full roll of toilet paper every fucking time and im pretty sure i can't use wet wipes because my asshole is so torn up from tp that it will just sting so bad. I would have to not shit for a day or two so it heals up in order to use wet wipes. Fuck my life

Silky Johnson

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #320 on: January 25, 2016, 10:31:23 PM »
So i take a shit every morning like a normal person does but when it gets later in the day i have the feeling to shit again. I refuse to poop twice in one day because my asshole sucks and i literally spend at least 3 minutes just wiping. I use at least a full roll of toilet paper every fucking time and im pretty sure i can't use wet wipes because my asshole is so torn up from tp that it will just sting so bad. I would have to not shit for a day or two so it heals up in order to use wet wipes. Fuck my life
Vasaline dude, my asshole was raw from some intense diarrhea one day and it kept it from stinging and it healed it faster too.

Xtal

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #321 on: January 26, 2016, 05:45:13 AM »
So i take a shit every morning like a normal person does but when it gets later in the day i have the feeling to shit again. I refuse to poop twice in one day because my asshole sucks and i literally spend at least 3 minutes just wiping. I use at least a full roll of toilet paper every fucking time and im pretty sure i can't use wet wipes because my asshole is so torn up from tp that it will just sting so bad. I would have to not shit for a day or two so it heals up in order to use wet wipes. Fuck my life

You should be shitting 3-4 times a day. Shitting once and then holding your second shit in is not good. You're asking for colon cancer bud.

ttching!

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #322 on: January 26, 2016, 08:12:41 AM »

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #323 on: February 07, 2016, 09:25:58 AM »
So i take a shit every morning like a normal person does but when it gets later in the day i have the feeling to shit again. I refuse to poop twice in one day because my asshole sucks and i literally spend at least 3 minutes just wiping. I use at least a full roll of toilet paper every fucking time and im pretty sure i can't use wet wipes because my asshole is so torn up from tp that it will just sting so bad. I would have to not shit for a day or two so it heals up in order to use wet wipes. Fuck my life

What the fuck is wrong with your body

Righteous Victim

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #324 on: February 07, 2016, 09:47:25 AM »
Once when I was a kid I wiped with my bare fingers and then smeared it on a chair in the kitchen. I rule.

Now my asshole is very hairy and I dread taking a shit. More like dingle bananas with me. One time I wetted the paper in the sink and it seemed to work but I haven't tried it since.

tobey

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #325 on: February 07, 2016, 09:54:37 AM »
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So i take a shit every morning like a normal person does but when it gets later in the day i have the feeling to shit again. I refuse to poop twice in one day because my asshole sucks and i literally spend at least 3 minutes just wiping. I use at least a full roll of toilet paper every fucking time and im pretty sure i can't use wet wipes because my asshole is so torn up from tp that it will just sting so bad. I would have to not shit for a day or two so it heals up in order to use wet wipes. Fuck my life
[close]

What the fuck is wrong with your body

I don't know but i just pooped and it was a no wiper, nothing can go wrong today now

PC500

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #326 on: February 09, 2016, 03:57:11 AM »
it does feel quite good ^

 do you know what's amazing and what I miss a lot, those poo hoses they have in south east Asia. My butthole has never felt so clean.

I've been living in SE Asia on and off for the last few years. Currently in Indo. The bum-gun is a gamechanger and one of the major reasons I love this place. Pro tip: always give the gun a quick squirt before use, especially if it's an unfamiliar one to gauge the water pressure and trigger sensitivity. Water pressure varies drastically from city to city, even house to house. You don't need an accidental enema. 

Gray Imp Sausage Metal

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #327 on: February 23, 2016, 07:10:27 PM »
Robot bidet toilets in Japan ... I can never go back

Impish sausage is definitely gonna blow up as a euphemism this year

tobey

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #328 on: June 21, 2016, 10:10:13 AM »
Got wet wipes today, fucking game changer

glutton.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #329 on: June 21, 2016, 01:42:29 PM »
I'm taking a shit right now. I'm going to go straight into the shower so I don't have to use toilet paper.