Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 204692 times)

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iKobrakai

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #510 on: April 08, 2019, 05:32:14 PM »
Ive not done this but to pull a prank at a party, shit into a towel and fire it into the dryer.  Ya dont wanna get caught doing that.  Its called a 'bomber'.

I'd murder the fucker behind that "prank".

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #511 on: April 08, 2019, 11:46:50 PM »
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Ive not done this but to pull a prank at a party, shit into a towel and fire it into the dryer.  Ya dont wanna get caught doing that.  Its called a 'bomber'.
[close]
id murder the fucker behind that "prank".
   Youd have ur hands full anyway (unintended pun) - The character known for this prank is a mma/surf/meth head.  Not a funny thing to do in reality but funny to share here.



« Last Edit: April 09, 2019, 02:38:11 AM by givecigstosurfgroms »
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

SpankerChief

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #512 on: April 10, 2019, 02:06:55 PM »
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Ive not done this but to pull a prank at a party, shit into a towel and fire it into the dryer.  Ya dont wanna get caught doing that.  Its called a 'bomber'.
[close]

I'd murder the fucker behind that "prank".
yeah that'd be a big 10-4 buddy.......
[ url ]http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2011/09/mind_blown.gif[ / url ]

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #513 on: April 17, 2019, 08:56:29 PM »
Just remembered another one so ha.   I worked with a truly hot hippie french girl and she lived on pools land which im sure a couple of people on slap would know of.  Anyway she relished in telling me how she took morning shits (in broad daylight) on this dudes bus doorstep/pallet who she was feudin out with.  They never went out she just hated him for some reason.  She seemed crazy and content. Witchy woman with revenge shits ha.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2019, 09:05:55 PM by givecigstosurfgroms »
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

gaunt

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #514 on: May 21, 2019, 01:04:50 AM »
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do you look at the paper after you wipe?
[close]

don't you?
[close]

hey slap. what's the deal?

i used to do this when i first learned how to wipe. but then like several years later, i figured that there was no point in doing it anymore. a while ago this guy i know was talking about how he had to take a shit in a dark bathroom with no light on and how it was impossible for him because he couldn't look at the paper after he wiped. what do you need to look at the paper for? it's going to be shit every time.

how many of you look at the paper after wiping?
also, do you guys fold the paper when you wipe?
i just kind of roll it into a ball and wipe it like that.
also i read that some of you wipe standing up.
i personally wipe sitting down because that way my butt cheeks are spread out wider and there is easier access.


how do you guys wipe your butts?
this is proper technique

tedkootz

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #515 on: May 23, 2019, 01:30:30 PM »
yall stand or sit to wipe??

Dog the Bounty Hunter

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #516 on: May 23, 2019, 08:53:36 PM »
yall stand or sit to wipe??
Lil both. Stand on the last one, make sure it’s taken care of.

Had a slice of red velvet cake for my wife’s bday yesterday. Shit red today. Scared me a bit.

skatefresh

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #517 on: May 29, 2019, 08:29:35 PM »
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #518 on: May 30, 2019, 06:37:58 AM »
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know? 
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #519 on: May 30, 2019, 07:27:51 AM »
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Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?

You don't wipe your ass either? Go hang out in someone's yard until they call animal control. They'll clean you up a bit, give you your shots, and put you to sleep in 9 days.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #520 on: May 30, 2019, 10:57:13 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?
[close]

You don't wipe your ass either? Go hang out in someone's yard until they call animal control. They'll clean you up a bit, give you your shots, and put you to sleep in 9 days.

  Love the attention chief, thanks!
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #521 on: May 30, 2019, 11:03:54 AM »
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?
[close]

You don't wipe your ass either? Go hang out in someone's yard until they call animal control. They'll clean you up a bit, give you your shots, and put you to sleep in 9 days.
[close]

  Love the attention chief, thanks!

You wanted it and you're gonna get it.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #522 on: May 30, 2019, 11:09:43 AM »
Im gonna "get it" huh?  Where are we going here?  Ur last comedy bit^ ended with me dying at the hands of  animal control(?)  -thats dark a bit.  Thats what i think we're getting to the essence of here man.  Ur fuckin dad issues.  -i dont want to bring that up- but ur a CUNT on here.
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #523 on: May 30, 2019, 11:18:38 AM »
Im gonna "get it" huh?  Where are we going here?  Ur last comedy bit^ ended with me dying at the hands of  animal control(?)  -thats dark a bit.  Thats what i think we're getting to the essence of here man.  Ur fuckin dad issues.  -i dont want to bring that up- but ur a CUNT on here.

Please please please walk me through the thought process behind me equating you to a stray animal (because you're a moron who apparently doesn't wipe his ass) to how I must have issues with my father. I want to see if you can do it without losing yourself in your own corn maze of a donkey brain.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #524 on: May 30, 2019, 11:30:13 AM »
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Im gonna "get it" huh?  Where are we going here?  Ur last comedy bit^ ended with me dying at the hands of  animal control(?)  -thats dark a bit.  Thats what i think we're getting to the essence of here man.  Ur fuckin dad issues.  -i dont want to bring that up- but ur a CUNT on here.
[close]

Please please please walk me through the thought process behind me equating you to a stray animal (because you're a moron who apparently doesn't wipe his ass) to how I must have issues with my father. I want to see if you can do it without losing yourself in your own corn maze of a donkey brain.
  He is a cunt, rite?
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #525 on: May 30, 2019, 11:34:09 AM »
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Im gonna "get it" huh?  Where are we going here?  Ur last comedy bit^ ended with me dying at the hands of  animal control(?)  -thats dark a bit.  Thats what i think we're getting to the essence of here man.  Ur fuckin dad issues.  -i dont want to bring that up- but ur a CUNT on here.
[close]

Please please please walk me through the thought process behind me equating you to a stray animal (because you're a moron who apparently doesn't wipe his ass) to how I must have issues with my father. I want to see if you can do it without losing yourself in your own corn maze of a donkey brain.
[close]
  He is a cunt, rite?

Oh shit this one broke

insecure_contrarian

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #526 on: May 30, 2019, 11:39:54 AM »

Im gonna "get it" huh?  Where are we going here?  Ur last comedy bit^ ended with me dying at the hands of  animal control(?)  -thats dark a bit.  Thats what i think we're getting to the essence of here man.  Ur fuckin dad issues.  -i dont want to bring that up- but ur a CUNT on here.

COrn MaZe Of A DONkey bRaIn.

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skatefresh

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #527 on: May 30, 2019, 08:31:54 PM »
Expand Quote
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?
I use wet wipes most of the time and clean up in the shower when necessary. I still can't manage to get rid of them.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #528 on: May 30, 2019, 09:57:29 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?
[close]
I use wet wipes most of the time and clean up in the shower when necessary. I still can't manage to get rid of them.
  Prolly sound weird but try being nice to them.  Just leave em be cept maybe a bit of some type of powder once and a bit to keep you un-chafed.  I also heard that its good not to get red of face and be pushing out shits but rather taking ur time and by doing so, keeping them 'roids down in size.  Ive had them too but they very rarely act up and have never bothered me i think cause i just keep it chill and forget about them.
  Always good to monitor sugar consumption.  Prolly related.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2019, 10:09:38 PM by givecigstosurfgroms »
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

skatefresh

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #529 on: May 30, 2019, 10:13:05 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Having hemorrhoids sucks. Every shit is a 50 wiper.
[close]

  Like you have to do 50 swipes?   Chill out! That could be why your butts got hemorroids.  Maybe take shits and use the shower head to clean up - no wipes for a bit, ya know?
[close]
I use wet wipes most of the time and clean up in the shower when necessary. I still can't manage to get rid of them.
[close]
  Prolly sound weird but be nice to them.  Just leave em be cept maybe a bit of some type of powder once and a bit to keep you un-chafed.  I also heard that its good not to get red of face and be pushing out shits but rather taking ur time and by doing so, keeping them 'roids down in size.  Ive had them too but they very rarely act up and have never bothered me i think cause i just keep it chill and forget about them.
  Always good to monitor sugar consumption.  Prolly related.
When I'm eating a lot of fiber they seem to not act up as much as my shits come out fairly clean. I ran out of metamucil and they've gotten worse the past week. I had to buy some preparation h..

straight

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #530 on: June 17, 2019, 03:43:29 PM »
What kind of mikey taylor logic is this?

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #531 on: June 21, 2019, 12:18:12 PM »
Padless backside hole wipe 2 feet outta the bowl!! -thats my go to.
"I just care about the river, I dont care about your back"

LordManHammer

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #532 on: November 09, 2019, 11:00:30 AM »
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #533 on: November 11, 2019, 09:41:19 PM »
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
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Dr-Feelgood

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #534 on: November 11, 2019, 11:10:09 PM »
Expand Quote
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?


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Pho King Hung Lo Mein

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #535 on: November 11, 2019, 11:36:43 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
[close]

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?

Nah, got busted pimping your Mom out.
"Now go home and get your fucking Shinebox"

LordManHammer

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #536 on: November 12, 2019, 02:03:38 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
[close]

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?
[close]

Nah, got busted pimping your Mom out.
Fixed
Dueces Bitch's

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #537 on: November 12, 2019, 03:13:28 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
[close]

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?
[close]

Nah, got busted pimping your DDM's Baby Mama out. 
[close]
Fixed
Fixed 2.0
"Now go home and get your fucking Shinebox"

Dr-Feelgood

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #538 on: November 13, 2019, 12:16:10 AM »
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Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
[close]

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?
[close]

Nah, got busted pimping your Mom out.
[close]
Fixed



We may not know what skateboarding is
But we sure as hell know what it aint
Wait we know what it is now too -
Falling down and gettin back up

Pho King Hung Lo Mein

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #539 on: November 13, 2019, 12:59:40 AM »
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Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt.  Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
[close]

Home

That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right?  Fuck all that.  Can't do the sauce ass.  Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure).  Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower.  I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid.   I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts).  Always been that, probably always will.

Jail

I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes.  off) and beat up over his wiping technique.  It was pretty fucked up.  I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.

For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first.  Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet.  Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up.  Shoes on, laced up, and ready.  Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over.  If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack.  Shit fast, wipe quick, and go.  No long shits, and NO standers.  Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette".  Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail.  Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.
[close]

What did you go to jail for ? Get a one night stint for stealing a gas station hotdog?
[close]

Nah, got busted pimping your Mom out.
[close]
Fixed
[close]



I know you are, but what am I?  Nananananana! 

Doc, seriously, why do you insist on CONSTANTLY engaging in this schoolyard buffoonery?  Displaying your shockingly low IQ and PROVING how outclassed you are?  Self-sabotage , much?
"Now go home and get your fucking Shinebox"