Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 208558 times)

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matt_2993

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #660 on: January 23, 2023, 11:23:27 AM »
Squatty potties are the shit

ChompskyHonk

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #661 on: January 24, 2023, 01:05:42 PM »
what's the worst thing y'all have used to replace toilet paper when you don't have any? the furthest I've gone in searching for a suitable supplement is a paper towel, but thats not too bad. just feels like slightly grittier single ply

Jewel Runner

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #662 on: January 25, 2023, 02:23:05 PM »
what's the worst thing y'all have used to replace toilet paper when you don't have any? the furthest I've gone in searching for a suitable supplement is a paper towel, but thats not too bad. just feels like slightly grittier single ply

Once I was shitting in the mountains and I had no tp but luckily I had a couple of used boxers in the trunk of my car... wiped with 'em and left them there

Not the worst thing but probably the only reason I used something other than tp

matty_c

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #663 on: January 26, 2023, 03:08:51 AM »
One time I shit in a bucket and my mum found it
listen to cosmic psychos

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #664 on: January 30, 2023, 05:27:06 AM »
Iím sure you can stock up on masks from the clearance section of your favorite board company.

Soft material too.
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Jebediah

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #665 on: January 30, 2023, 04:26:10 PM »
Iím sure you can stock up on masks from the clearance section of your favorite board company.

Soft material too.

A year or so ago I was working in an office that had some issues with the locals so the bathrooms were locked with a code. I was walking up the stairs and discovered someone had pooped on the floor and looks to have wiped using a mask which was left perched on top of the excrement. I still have pictures somewhere.

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #666 on: January 30, 2023, 04:30:34 PM »
Expand Quote
Iím sure you can stock up on masks from the clearance section of your favorite board company.

Soft material too.
[close]

A year or so ago I was working in an office that had some issues with the locals so the bathrooms were locked with a code. I was walking up the stairs and discovered someone had pooped on the floor and looks to have wiped using a mask which was left perched on top of the excrement. I still have pictures somewhere.

Lemme guessÖ Bay Area?
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Tom Pearl

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #667 on: January 31, 2023, 05:20:01 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Iím sure you can stock up on masks from the clearance section of your favorite board company.

Soft material too.
[close]

A year or so ago I was working in an office that had some issues with the locals so the bathrooms were locked with a code. I was walking up the stairs and discovered someone had pooped on the floor and looks to have wiped using a mask which was left perched on top of the excrement. I still have pictures somewhere.
[close]

Lemme guessÖ Bay Area?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_7cvlPEJAA

Resident Jeff

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #668 on: January 31, 2023, 09:34:47 PM »
what's the worst thing y'all have used to replace toilet paper when you don't have any? the furthest I've gone in searching for a suitable supplement is a paper towel, but thats not too bad. just feels like slightly grittier single ply

I once had to use the actual toilet roll, canít remember if it was at someoneís place or a public toilet, I got the initial wipe done with the last of the roll before noticing I had no backup.

I was smart about it though, tore it into little strips then kinda mashed it back together to make it softer. It got the job done without too much fuss.
Sure I couldíve used a sock, but Iím not sacrificing my socks for that, I love my socks.
Reschs Refreshes

j....soy.....

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #669 on: March 02, 2023, 02:39:39 PM »
I pride myself in being prepared and I remember the disappointment I felt using kleenex which I had been carrying around for months in my skate bagÖÖ.

Sometimes too soft doesnít workÖÖ

Jebediah

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #670 on: March 02, 2023, 04:20:59 PM »
I used to carry around the accessory pack from an MRE which includes a packet of toilet paper and other useful items. Definitely came in handy once or twice.


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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #671 on: March 04, 2023, 05:21:41 AM »
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.

Frank

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #672 on: March 04, 2023, 08:15:11 PM »
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.

formula420

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #673 on: March 20, 2023, 12:32:39 PM »
Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.

ChompskyHonk

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #674 on: March 21, 2023, 08:32:22 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.
[close]

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.

I need that. I'm tryna be like Randy Marsh with a nice little bidet so every time I shit I feel like a swanky bourgeois fuckface

formula420

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #675 on: March 23, 2023, 06:16:58 PM »
Expand Quote
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Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.
[close]

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.
[close]

I need that. I'm tryna be like Randy Marsh with a nice little bidet so every time I shit I feel like a swanky bourgeois fuckface

I don't really feel swanky when I use it. But I do feel clean.

Dojsha Abuser

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #676 on: October 03, 2023, 09:27:54 PM »
One time I shit in a bucket and my mum found it

Damn! you're this guy?!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d28b2_-9aQM

mrselfdestruct

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #677 on: November 09, 2023, 06:21:38 AM »
i honestly just ball the paper up. is this based?
Mrs Elf is a pretty cool name.

And Mrs Elf destructing is even cooler.

Dojsha Abuser

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #678 on: November 09, 2023, 07:29:54 AM »
I have almost completely moved to bidet

turdtastic

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #679 on: November 12, 2023, 11:07:14 AM »
Expand Quote
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.
[close]

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.
[close]

I need that. I'm tryna be like Randy Marsh with a nice little bidet so every time I shit I feel like a swanky bourgeois fuckface
[close]

I don't really feel swanky when I use it. But I do feel clean.
My wife just bought us a bidet.
I refuse to use it.
I donít want to have to dry my hairy ass off with toilet paper and get little paper dingles all up in there.
Seems weird to me.
Ima stay savage and keep with the paper.

skate_or_dingus

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #680 on: November 27, 2023, 09:49:24 AM »
 I have a walk-in bidet.

Garbage Collector

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #681 on: January 10, 2024, 04:35:58 PM »
IBS warrior here. sometimes i shit blood. im sober. sometimes i shit six times in a given day

gringo_viejo

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #682 on: February 29, 2024, 09:33:12 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.
[close]

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.
[close]

I need that. I'm tryna be like Randy Marsh with a nice little bidet so every time I shit I feel like a swanky bourgeois fuckface
[close]

I don't really feel swanky when I use it. But I do feel clean.
[close]
My wife just bought us a bidet.
I refuse to use it.
I donít want to have to dry my hairy ass off with toilet paper and get little paper dingles all up in there.
Seems weird to me.
Ima stay savage and keep with the paper.

The dingle struggle is real with the bidet, but I can't go back. Spray down real good and then use a soft baby wipe.

Andrefosho

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #683 on: February 29, 2024, 11:50:37 PM »
Wash it well with soap and wipe down with a dedicated butt towel. Feels like a dream.

Sizzle

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #684 on: March 04, 2024, 08:32:22 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I bought two bidets. The first one had temperature control but the sink line was blocked by cabinet shit. I put that downstairs and got a cold water one that just splits the water line into bidet/toilet bowl. You arenít getting toilet bowl water:

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment (Blue) https://a.co/d/cj4Ld4W

Theyíre under $40, so itís worth it. A medication was making me vomit/shit so much that I was bleeding from both ends. I got it because I thought I was wiping too hard, which wasnít the case. At least, Iím saving on toilet paper now.
[close]

down bad for this to elevate my butt crack hygiene to unseen levels.
[close]

I've wanted a bidet for a while but the recent south park episode pushed me over the edge. Hello Tushy had a Two pack deal with the hot water option (hot water is necessary) It's so nice I feel like a savage when I have to shit without it now.
[close]

I need that. I'm tryna be like Randy Marsh with a nice little bidet so every time I shit I feel like a swanky bourgeois fuckface
[close]

I don't really feel swanky when I use it. But I do feel clean.
[close]
My wife just bought us a bidet.
I refuse to use it.
I donít want to have to dry my hairy ass off with toilet paper and get little paper dingles all up in there.
Seems weird to me.
Ima stay savage and keep with the paper.
[close]

The dingle struggle is real with the bidet, but I can't go back. Spray down real good and then use a soft baby wipe.
Boutta cop my first bidet this month, failed to account for this possibility. I feel a dedicated roll of paper towels for drying is the move here.

matt_2993

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #685 on: March 04, 2024, 11:46:15 AM »
I want a bidet but seems a little weird to get one as a single guy living alone

Sizzle

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #686 on: March 05, 2024, 10:15:29 AM »
I want a bidet but seems a little weird to get one as a single guy living alone
ÖÖ why?

layzieyez

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #687 on: March 28, 2024, 08:10:07 AM »
I think itís been maybe five years now that I have not touched a toilet seat to raise it.

My son is the one I credit with this. Even though he shares a bathroom with his sister, I never heard the telltale sounds of the toilet seat being put down as he got older.

I followed suit and I just brace my hand against the wall to center my flow directly above the toilet instead.

Am I the only one doing this as an adult?

pugmaster

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #688 on: April 20, 2024, 03:14:13 PM »
I think itís been maybe five years now that I have not touched a toilet seat to raise it.

My son is the one I credit with this. Even though he shares a bathroom with his sister, I never heard the telltale sounds of the toilet seat being put down as he got older.

I followed suit and I just brace my hand against the wall to center my flow directly above the toilet instead.

Am I the only one doing this as an adult?

Of course, it is the closest thing to playing that board game "operation" as an adult without having a medical license
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layzieyez

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #689 on: April 21, 2024, 11:48:54 AM »
I never looked at it that way, but thatís such whimsical way of explaining that. Pretty funny, dude.