Trying to join the mile-high club...

[dudebro]

So I'm going on vacation for five days with my girlfriend. My departing flight leaves early tomorrow morning and our return flight is a red eye leaving at 12:30 am, just after midnight. I figure the return flight is going to be my best bet. So far the plan in my head is to have one of us head to the bathroom when its pretty quiet and everyone is sleeping and pretend they're sick or something is wrong if someone notices them. Then the other person goes back to check on them and slips into the bathroom. It's pretty small in there and I think its going to be kind of tough to work in that space. I don't know if i'll be able to "finish" but i think i'll be able to give it the ol' "in out in out" for a bit real quick before anyone becomes suspicious. Has anyone else attempted this and been successful? Anyone got any tips? I'll let you guys know how it goes...

[frisco]

thatll be epic as fuck, keep us posted, i asked this girl if she was down when we were flying to calgary, needless to say we were better friends and hadnt even fucked yet so it reeaalllly put a damper on our friendship

[sven thorkel]

i already told yall, if you wanna join the mile high club, just hire a hooker in denver

[dudebro]

i already told yall, if you wanna join the mile high club, just hire a hooker in denver

that would be easier, but less of an accomplishment

[sven thorkel]

in todays fast paced dog eat dog world, an accomplisment can be bought online. so why bother?

[dudebro]

well with that logic, why do anything?

[longballlarry]

i masturbated in an airplane bathroom once. does that count?

[loophole]

i made out with a girl in an airplane restroom two years back- it doesn't count for the club, but i can vouch for how difficult it is maneuvering in that can with two people. but it's really fun.

i masturbated in an airplane bathroom once. does that count?

did that too, once.
and no, that doesn't count either.
but when i did it the plane hit turbulence, which was hilarious.

[dudebro]

Unfortunately I have some bad news to report. The shit didn't go down. First of all, I was seriously dead tired from 5 days of constantly doing shit (skating, eating, partying, not sleeping). I took a red-eye flight home so my plan was to try to make it happen when everyone was falling asleep, but we ended being included in that group of sleeping people. Also our seats were right in the middle of the plane a few rows away from the middle bathrooms so everyone would have seen us going in there. I think you pretty much have to be near the back for it to happen.

PS. I was relaying this story to my female co-worker and she told me that she's fucked on an airplane before. She said her and her old boyfriend were near the back and as soon as the pilot said it was ok for everyone to remove their seatbelts they went into the back bathrooms. She also said they filmed it. This bitch is down.

[H8R part 4]

damn dude, i was pulling for you but you fell asleep at the wheel so to speak.

i don't know why people try to be all discrete about fucking on the plane?  just walk into the bathroom together and get busy.  its not like their going to report you to the pilot, force a landing, then arrest you for it.  all the guys on the plane will be silently cheering for you, while the women on the plane will probably be envious and wondering why their boyfriends/husbands isn't trying to have kinky sex with them. 
 
   

[Silent Bob.]

Those comments about masterbation have got me thinking

There are plenty of dudes on that Mir space station, locked up there with no female companionship

So how does wanking work in zero gravity? It sounds like it has the potential to get really fucking disgusting, but is that enough to put one off? Is there a risk of UFO's (unidentified flying ooze) up there? OR did that toilet break down from the sheer volume of crusted socks optimistically flushed down it?

[Bobby Peru]

Those comments about masterbation have got me thinking

There are plenty of dudes on that Mir space station, locked up there with no female companionship

So how does wanking work in zero gravity? It sounds like it has the potential to get really fucking disgusting, but is that enough to put one off? Is there a risk of UFO's (unidentified flying ooze) up there? OR did that toilet break down from the sheer volume of crusted socks optimistically flushed down it?

Space-age pocket pussies

[loophole]

i remember seeing a program on discov about space-fucking. there was this whole equipped room with braces and everything. kinda strange, but also, kinda rad.

[dudebro]

damn dude, i was pulling for you but you fell asleep at the wheel so to speak.

i don't know why people try to be all discrete about fucking on the plane?  just walk into the bathroom together and get busy.  its not like their going to report you to the pilot, force a landing, then arrest you for it.  all the guys on the plane will be silently cheering for you, while the women on the plane will probably be envious and wondering why their boyfriends/husbands isn't trying to have kinky sex with them. 
 
   

thanks for rooting for me. i guess maybe we could've just got gnarly and went for it but i was seriously barely able to keep my eyes open even before we got on the plane and then when i saw where our seats were i pretty much gave up on going for it, and if i was feeling that way you can probably imagine how much the lady was into it.... the only other option was maybe being lucky enough to not have someone sitting in our row so we could just throw a blanket over our lower halves and be discrete. there will be other opportunities. you're probably right about the guys rooting for me and women being jealous and the staff not doing anything about it,  but i always worry that maybe they could charge you with mischievous conduct or something like that. regardless, it would be seriously awkward if we got caught, but i think i could deal with it.

[Silent Bob.]

i remember seeing a program on discov about space-fucking. there was this whole equipped room with braces and everything. kinda strange, but also, kinda rad.

wow thanks - I've definitely learnt something there!

[rocklobster]

Expand Quote

i remember seeing a program on discov about space-fucking. there was this whole equipped room with braces and everything. kinda strange, but also, kinda rad.

[close]

wow thanks - I've definitely learnt something there!

jacking it in space is sure to have its problems....  i mean consider the already erratic flight path of your spoog, and couple that with zero gravity.... you better have your kleenex handy or else your buddy is going to have a gob of drifting goo inch slowly towards him...

[faceneck]

Those comments about masterbation have got me thinking

There are plenty of dudes on that Mir space station, locked up there with no female companionship

So how does wanking work in zero gravity? It sounds like it has the potential to get really fucking disgusting, but is that enough to put one off? Is there a risk of UFO's (unidentified flying ooze) up there? OR did that toilet break down from the sheer volume of crusted socks optimistically flushed down it?

I would imagine the clean up being pretty easy

[wake and bacon]

that would actually be rad as fuck to see myself cum in zero gravity and just watch it keep floating and floating away

imagine if andy roy was up in space... oh god...

[loophole]

reminds me of pearl diving in chuck palahniuk's 'guts'

[Bipsmound]

Yeah, diving for pearls?

People never talk about getting randy in the back of a Greyhound, which I imagine is way gnarlier.  I can't even take a piss standing up in there without the open bumpy road making puddles for me, so I reckon it'd be some raw boner breaker vengence back there.

[ice nine]

half the allure of the mile high club is not giving a fuck and obviously half the plane knows whats going on. too much of a bitch for it obviously, or would have just done it on the way there.

[dudebro]

half the allure of the mile high club is not giving a fuck and obviously half the plane knows whats going on. too much of a bitch for it obviously, or would have just done it on the way there.

ha! you sound like some crazy aggro jock frat boy. the allure for me isn't about "not giving a fuck" and "having half the plane know what's going on." its just some silly thing to do that would be funny to tell my buddies about. i'm not "super hyped" on fucking on a plane, it just would have been funny. i was tired and the situation wasnt ideal. i have a girlfriend so i'll get laid whenever, no big deal. who gives a fuck.

[MEOW]

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half the allure of the mile high club is not giving a fuck and obviously half the plane knows whats going on. too much of a bitch for it obviously, or would have just done it on the way there.

[close]

ha! you sound like some crazy aggro jock frat boy. the allure for me isn't about "not giving a fuck" and "having half the plane know what's going on." its just some silly thing to do that would be funny to tell my buddies about. i'm not "super hyped" on fucking on a plane, it just would have been funny. i was tired and the situation wasnt ideal. i have a girlfriend so i'll get laid whenever, no big deal. who gives a fuck.

agreed. i think the only advantage to sex on a plane is it's way more interesting than skymall magazine or falling asleep.. and it's one of those things you do just to say you've done.

[nocomply]

People never talk about getting randy in the back of a Greyhound, which I imagine is way gnarlier.

I'll talk about it. It's quite gnarly indeed. We skipped the bathroom though and humped on that three-seater that is on the last row of the greyhound, right next to the bathrrom. Full bus-load of people, and we had two non-english speaking mexicans in the seat directly in front of us drinking tequilla. I remember that they were so drunk they didn't even notice us going at it.  I also, made the mile high club on a red-eye. The plane was completely empty and again we didn't use the bathroom. went for it right at the window seat. ahh... the good ol days.

[BriDen]

who gives a fuck.

Kind of ironic, seeing as you made a whole thread about it.

[UncleBobo]

i googled airplane bathroom

i imagine that getting head in one of these would like something like this but with your cock as that camera instead

[NickDagger]

Expand Quote

Those comments about masterbation have got me thinking

There are plenty of dudes on that Mir space station, locked up there with no female companionship

So how does wanking work in zero gravity? It sounds like it has the potential to get really fucking disgusting, but is that enough to put one off? Is there a risk of UFO's (unidentified flying ooze) up there? OR did that toilet break down from the sheer volume of crusted socks optimistically flushed down it?

[close]

I would imagine the clean up being pretty easy

\


On a serious note there are legitimate reports of a top secret program of experiments of NASA testing sexual intercourse between astronauts in space.

[wake and bacon]

legitimate reports of a top secret program

wat.

[eat.shit]

Now theres something Bush would say.

Legitimate reports of a top secret program.

[Rocuronium]

I highly recommend getting a handjob under the blankets. The key is a darkened cabin and a lot of sleeping passengers. We got the idea when we saw another couple doing it. You want a quick catch/absorbent/clean up so that you don't smell up the place.

Plus it is easier to convince a girlfriend, a friend, or the neighboring stranger you just met to do it.