Things that happen in your life - The Stories Thread.

[NickDagger]

Everyone here has interesting things that happen to us or that we witness-this thread is for that. Don't worry about being a good writer or anything like that, just post the things that you've experienced, encountered, or even just heard about -  of course the more interesting the better- funny, gross, scary, sad, scandalous, romantic, or whatevs.

With 10,000 members, we should have some good ones among us.

[Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace]

once my sister threw a basketball at me and hit me in the face.

That is the story of how I lost my first tooth.

[NickDagger]

Related:


When I was around 11 I was playing basketball with my cousins and brother, and I slipped while running(to da hoop) and fell face first, knocking out half of one of my front teeth, requiring hours of dental work, including a root canal and culminating with them capping the missing section.

Then, last year I was skateboarding at our local park and wanted to show off to all the little kids by doing a fake* kickflip back tail on this slanted ledge. Well I got into the trick perfectly...too perfectly and instead of sliding a few inches at most as I expected, I slid up the entire ledge-at least my lower body did, my upper body was not prepared-so I once again hit my face on the concrete...


Knocking out the now fake section, of the same tooth.


*You know where you can get into a trick, and maybe even slide or grind a few inches, but can't really do it? Or with flip tricks where you can spin em like you have the ability to land them but never really do? I do this with switch tres. I'm pretty sure everyone does this, to try and impress people. We're all kooks.

[NickDagger]

Sucides, car wrecks, first dates, failed love, successful love, fights, deaths, I know we've all experienced notable things.

So tell us.



p.s. if anyone has grown up around or known people that turned out to be murderers, would love to hear about it.

[tysj!]

When I was 3 or something my family was at Montgomery Ward looking for exercise bikes or somethings. Don't remember but at least I was. Kinda wandered far from the pack and I had some huge curiosity of the pedals/drivetrain crap because spinning it made me high or something. One thing led to another and my left pinky ended up somewhere near those parts and my life was over. I cried for my mommy and daddy and they saved me <3. Carried me home and there was nothing more than a few cuts on my pinky. Little did I know, my pinky was broken but I never noticed because I was so little and my bones were till soft I guess. Now my pinky looks normal in curled/fist mode but I can't straighten that thing out for the life of me.It pretty much looks like /\_ (except a lot more mellow) with that flat part being the part with the nail end. I'm sure this happens to everyone.

[guy le douche]

once my sister threw a basketball at me and hit me in the face.

That is the story of how I lost my first tooth.

when i was 12 i threw a potato at my sister while she was talking and it went right into her mouth.

That is the story of how i threw a potato at my sister.

[biggums mcgee]

when I was nine I slipped and fell 4 feet off this waterfall and onto a jagged rock right inbetween my legs. I got lucky and the jagged part went in between my inner thigh and my balls...needless to say it was the most painful thing ever. I ended up having to walk two miles home, then for the next ten days my one nut would turn colors overnight, literally purple, yellow, green. It was fucking nasty.

[masturskater]

one day when i was in class in 8th grade, there was a bunch of screaming coming from outside.  everyone, including the teacher, came to the window to check it out.  it was my friend's neighbor.  she was crying hysterical.  well our classroom window faced their backyard and their garage.  she came outside and opened up the garage door.  all you could see were two legs dangling.  her husband hung himself in the garage and anyone with a view saw it.  it was a really grim moment....made me sick to my stomach.

[NickDagger]

Oh fuck!

This is what I'm talking about, love the phrasing in the description as well.

[Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace]

I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.

That is the story of when I first got laid.

[Evil Kraken from the Arctic Sea]

When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it.  I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.

[NickDagger]

I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.

That is the story of when I first got laid.

Tell the story.

[masturskater]

Oh fuck!

This is what I'm talking about, love the phrasing in the description as well.

hmmm...your enthusiam is a little unsettling to me.  but it was something that will stay with me for life.

I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.

That is the story of when I first got laid.

that's impressive.  same thing almost happened to me.  not for my first time, but this girl came up to me while i was skating.  turns out she was 16 at the time and wanted to go back to her place.  i was 20 or 21 at the time so i had to bail out before things would get criminal......i'm asian btw.  so i tend to look really young.  especially if i'm in some skate gear.

[angryfacedman]

this one time, I like, ate an ice cream. With sprinkles on it. It felt good.

[Lance]

When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it.  I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.

Same type shit.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs.  We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing.  2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick.  I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6.  We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that.  I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...

[MEOW]

when i was in kindergarten we were on a field trip to this park near our school. there was a part we weren't supposed to go into, so naturally my friends and i were going over there. it was like a little grass ditch that went down about 4 or 5 feet that we were going to jump over.. there wasn't even anything past it, just more grass for like 5 feet then a fence. really pointless. so 3 of my friends jumped over the ditch, i was the last one to go, and the teachers saw me right when i was about to jump. it was pretty do or die for being 5 years old, so i took a couple running steps and leaped over the ditch... right onto a 2 x 4 with a rusty nail sticking out of it. the nail went straight through my shoe and into my foot and i started screaming and crying immediately upon impact. this kid john ended up pulling the 2 x 4 so the nail would come out. he was the hero and i got a couple stitches and got to be the posterboy idiot of why you should listen to teachers for the remainder of the school year.

[ed...]

anyone who didn't see this thread the first time round, read all of Jesco's posts in here
http://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=29410.0

[NickDagger]

Expand Quote

When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it.  I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.

[close]

Same type shit.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs.  We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing.  2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick.  I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6.  We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that.  I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...

This happened while you were in kindergarten?

[MexicanSpaniard]

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Expand Quote

When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it.  I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.

[close]

Same type shit.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs.  We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing.  2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick.  I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6.  We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that.  I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...

[close]

This happened while you were in kindergarten?

Makes my kindergarten first kiss seem so pathetic.

[Lance]

yeash.  Like i said we were just doin what we saw on t.v. i think it was just natural to lick whatever was in betwixt each others legs at that time and place...

[H8R part 4]

i asked my girlfriend to masturbate for me. 
she said yes as long as i masturbate for her. 
i said yes only if i get to cum all over her face.
thats was the first time i beat off in front of a girl. 
shit was tight. 

[LloydChristmas]

p.s. if anyone has grown up around or known people that turned out to be murderers, would love to hear about it.

a friend of my uncle's turned out to be a murderer.  my brother and i were babysat by this guy as kids too, which is fucked to think about.  worst part is, a local cop spent 6 years behind bars for the murder he didn't commit.  the guy's conscience got to him i guess and he ended up confessing a few years back. 

the rest of the story: http://www.artisticexpressions.org/Scott.html

[EricLogan]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it.  I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.

[close]

Same type shit.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs.  We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing.  2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick.  I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6.  We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that.  I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...

[close]

This happened while you were in kindergarten?

[close]

Makes my kindergarten first kiss seem so pathetic.

me and my pre-school gf flashed eachother, but unfortunately I'd yet to see a porno, it would be at least 3 years later till I realized the parts interlock

[Lance]

are you saying you flexed that cream treat 3 years outta pre-k muh nig?

[baxty]

Last night I was think about killing myself. Not because Im depressed, Im not depressed at all, but Im really inclined to find out what happens when you die. If I ever want to freak out I think about what happens when you die.

[jesus0nvi4gra]

My friend and this other kid where in the local video store one day when we were all like 12 and the kid goes "I gotta leave".  My friends like wtf man why, and the kid's like I really really have to leave.  My friends like dude what is your problem, then when the clerk goes in the back, the kid reaches in his pants and pulls out a pancaked shit and holds it out in his hand.

[All Hail Wu Welsh]

New year's eve, two years ago me and my friends wound up at some random house party,  We're invited in the by the owner(some kid we've never met or seen before) of the house, who looks like a 16 year old version of chunk with a velour sweatsuit on, he immediately takes us into the kitchen where he is has this crazy spread hes mad for everyone, theres a full turkey about 100 hundred chicken fingers and he's got a full pork roast going in the oven, and on top of that he opened his liquor cabinet for everyone to take from.  So we explore his house a little more, there all these crazy exotic birds in every room, we go outside and there's a fuckin donkey in the backyard, i shit you not. After being there for a little while, these meatheads show up that we had got into a fight with the night before, so we immediately know there's gonna be trouble even though they apologized to us the night before.  So of course within a couple minutes of them being there one them starts a fight with my friend over some bullshit that happened seven years ago, so we all start fighting with these fucks, we're outnumbered but we hold our own.  The fight moves out onto the front lawn after the owner of the house kicked us out, so we're all out there fighting with these fucks, then out of nowhere chunk comes running out of his with a double barrel shotgun.  points in the area where were all fighting and fires off a shot right at all of us,  and then screams THE NEXT SHOT IS GONNA FUCKIN HIT SOMEONE GUARANTEED!!!! FUCKIN LEAVE.  We all stand in there disbelief for a second at just what happened, but then book it out of there as quick as we can.  To make this long story short we later met up with one of the meatheads after all his s friends bailed on him and my friend beat him to a pulp, needless one fo the wierdest and craziest expierences of my life.

[kevbo999]

Man... just today I got on the bus, the driver accelerated and I fell on my face, dropping the large sack of pennies I had and sending them flying everywhere. I then yelled at a woman and her child to help me pick them up. Once I finally got them all, I walked past all the empty seats up front, towards the back where a couple was talking.

After staring at them and listening in for a couple minutes, I learned that they were in fact just brother and sister. So I told the girl she was the prettiest bus rider I've ever seen, and that I wanted her number, so we could go get a McFlurry sometime. She declined, and in a very rude manner too.




this didn't really happen, my friend just asked what the worst bus etiquette would be, and that was my reply

[EricLogan]

are you saying you flexed that cream treat 3 years outta pre-k muh nig?

hahah I fuckin wish

I meant it'd be 3 years till I seen pr0ns and was like "ohhhhh, shit! I blew it..."

[tag_king]

Ok, I was going to start a thread a while back about shit that the cky's made you do. This would have been what I put. So me and a bunch of my friends got together on a sunday to play hockey on a pond near my friends house. We get bored pretty quick and head back to my friends place. We decided we would get some pizza, but get out the camera and fuck with the pizza guy. So I am inside filming and my friends go out back to what I thought was going to be my one friend running and sliding across the pizza guys car naked. The pizza guy gets there and comes to the door.. as he is heading back I see my friend coming running across as planned. Then just after him my friend comes chasing in hunting gear with an antique rifle and chases him around the property.

We all had a laugh, the pizza guy was all like  . We go inside, eat our pizza, and watch the footage. We forget about it, start playing video games. My friend for some reason goes outside and calls out to us "Oh shit! Come look at this!" And at either end of his street (which is a major street connecting the country and the city I grew up) there are two black vans parked side ways. The guy comes inside and tells us about how his neighbors have always been sketchy, and that they could have been dealing/up to some questionable shit. So half of our group are out on the lawn watching as swat teams come marching in from either end. I was inside getting all excited, having not even thought of the possibility that they might be there for us. Next thing I know, everyone out on the lawn are on their knees getting rushed by a bunch of cops with automatic rifles, shot guns, a fucking K-9 unit, the works. We all bail into the house and destroy the tape. Someone had driven past and saw a naked guy getting chased, thinking it was some sort of hick sex slave getting chased by a kidnapper. The cops got everyone out of the house, in the snow, with dogs sniffing around us and guns to the backs of our heads. The friend that had us there had to explain that the gun was an antique, which the cops destroyed, and then started grilling him on a sling shot made from a twig. It was pretty intense.