Author Topic: Pick-Up Artistry  (Read 50498 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

chockfullofthat

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4597
  • Rep: 154
  • definitely.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #120 on: November 17, 2013, 12:03:57 PM »
Isn't Cialis for like the 50+ crowd?

brycickle

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5458
  • Rep: 5
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #121 on: November 17, 2013, 10:36:17 PM »
What the fuck is happening right now?

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of retarded kids and a van full of paraplegics.



wuust

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2962
  • Rep: -41
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #122 on: November 18, 2013, 03:36:51 AM »
Expand Quote

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?
[close]

1) Talk about exciting things. Exotic vacations, meeting famous people, crazy parties, and (although you don't want to introduce too much too soon) sex.

2) Go for the hands before the kiss. Compare your hand size to hers, check out the smoothness of her fingers, etc. Once you're holding hands with a girl her comfort level is going to rise considerably. When you meet a girl at the club and shake her hand don't pull yours away first. If after a few seconds she's still holding your hand, she's into it. On multiple occasions I've gone from meeting a girl to making out in less than 5 minutes and usually minutes later we're in a taxicab. When she asks, "Where are we going?" the proper response is, "What's your address?" Unless, of course, it's possible to bang at your crib, but then you're faced with the problem of getting her to bounce after you jizz (without seeming like the callous prick that you are).

3) Compliment her body. Touch her thighs. But stay away from the vag until you're in private. You always want to leave her wanting a bit moar.

4) Be horny. If you're not horny, how can you expect her to be? Imagine yourself kissing her neck, feeling her breasts and (apropos to suggestion #1) direct the conversation toward titillating topics. It might be intangible and scientifically immeasurable, but she'll be able to feel the sexual energy. Never fap before a date or a night out--it really does take away from your sexual energy levels. Some dudes (not that I would ever advocate this) swear by a few dips of Molly to get them in the right mindset.  ;D If you're over 30, Cialis? makes for a great secret weapon--if you're somewhere private, once you end up kissing her put her hand over your pants so she can feel your raging boner and it'll be game over.

5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

6) When she's looking into your eyes with a sense of expectation, that's a green light to kiss her. Make sure your mouth isn't tasting like onions or cigarettes.

7) On a date or a night out, look the best you can. Save the Palace tee and the thrashed Lakais for the skatepark and put on some real clothes--whether it's a fresh pair of Supras and an Altamont button-down, or a pair of Sperry Tops with some Nantucket Reds, be as fresh and flashy as you can without being douchey. Look good naked so you can't wait to show her how hot you are--she'll be able to sense that. That doesn't necessarily mean big muscles, but being able to see whatever amount of lean body mass you do have. That means a body fat level below 10%--if you lack any visible vascularity in your lower abdomen, figure out what you need to do (nutritionally & athletically) to get there. Age is no excuse. "Look the best you can" also applies to your home and your car--put away the bong and the dirty dishes in your apartment and make sure your car does have clean paint & polished tires and doesn't have an overflowing ashtray and a carpet covered in Burger King bags. Whether it's your clothes, your hair, your body, your home or your vehicle, always make it look the best it can given your current resources.

Get in the physical zone as soon as you can so any kind of move towards kissing and what not won't feel strange.

SodaJerk

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8610
  • Rep: 1057
  • Butterscotch yo!
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #123 on: November 24, 2013, 12:56:22 AM »


What the fuck is up with her giant hipper bruise?

brycickle

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5458
  • Rep: 5
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #124 on: November 24, 2013, 06:42:59 PM »

What the fuck is up with her giant hipper bruise?
Raw fruit diet.

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of retarded kids and a van full of paraplegics.



doomstation55

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4730
  • Rep: 338
  • ಠ_ಠ
    • [b]TEAM DOOM MS 2018[/b]
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #125 on: December 24, 2013, 12:33:30 PM »
This shit is hilarious.

EAT PUSSY!

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
  • Rep: 15
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #126 on: December 26, 2013, 07:43:08 AM »
Expand Quote

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?
[close]

1) Talk about exciting things. Exotic vacations, meeting famous people, crazy parties, and (although you don't want to introduce too much too soon) sex.

2) Go for the hands before the kiss. Compare your hand size to hers, check out the smoothness of her fingers, etc. Once you're holding hands with a girl her comfort level is going to rise considerably. When you meet a girl at the club and shake her hand don't pull yours away first. If after a few seconds she's still holding your hand, she's into it. On multiple occasions I've gone from meeting a girl to making out in less than 5 minutes and usually minutes later we're in a taxicab. When she asks, "Where are we going?" the proper response is, "What's your address?" Unless, of course, it's possible to bang at your crib, but then you're faced with the problem of getting her to bounce after you jizz (without seeming like the callous prick that you are).

3) Compliment her body. Touch her thighs. But stay away from the vag until you're in private. You always want to leave her wanting a bit moar.

4) Be horny. If you're not horny, how can you expect her to be? Imagine yourself kissing her neck, feeling her breasts and (apropos to suggestion #1) direct the conversation toward titillating topics. It might be intangible and scientifically immeasurable, but she'll be able to feel the sexual energy. Never fap before a date or a night out--it really does take away from your sexual energy levels. Some dudes (not that I would ever advocate this) swear by a few dips of Molly to get them in the right mindset.  ;D If you're over 30, Cialis? makes for a great secret weapon--if you're somewhere private, once you end up kissing her put her hand over your pants so she can feel your raging boner and it'll be game over.

5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

6) When she's looking into your eyes with a sense of expectation, that's a green light to kiss her. Make sure your mouth isn't tasting like onions or cigarettes.

7) On a date or a night out, look the best you can. Save the Palace tee and the thrashed Lakais for the skatepark and put on some real clothes--whether it's a fresh pair of Supras and an Altamont button-down, or a pair of Sperry Tops with some Nantucket Reds, be as fresh and flashy as you can without being douchey. Look good naked so you can't wait to show her how hot you are--she'll be able to sense that. That doesn't necessarily mean big muscles, but being able to see whatever amount of lean body mass you do have. That means a body fat level below 10%--if you lack any visible vascularity in your lower abdomen, figure out what you need to do (nutritionally & athletically) to get there. Age is no excuse. "Look the best you can" also applies to your home and your car--put away the bong and the dirty dishes in your apartment and make sure your car does have clean paint & polished tires and doesn't have an overflowing ashtray and a carpet covered in Burger King bags. Whether it's your clothes, your hair, your body, your home or your vehicle, always make it look the best it can given your current resources.

+1 (if I could)

MostlyLurkin'

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1368
  • Rep: -49
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #127 on: April 06, 2014, 04:27:02 PM »



Throw some hair on his chest, and that dude looks kinda like Mike Carroll.

Beer Keg Peg Leg

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5372
  • Rep: -31
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #128 on: April 07, 2014, 02:45:56 AM »

ill_Murray

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2722
  • Rep: 281
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #129 on: April 22, 2014, 05:49:41 PM »
It's a numbers game and different chicks just have different types.  The more you go for it the less rejection sucks after a while.  Those are basically the only 2 guarantees.
ill murray, can you remind me why you think im a kook

Beer Keg Peg Leg

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5372
  • Rep: -31
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #130 on: June 02, 2014, 03:55:48 AM »
BUMP

ttching!

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4505
  • Rep: 65215
  • Smilin' Mercenary
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #131 on: June 02, 2014, 04:04:00 AM »

Early Hokus Pokus

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 259
  • Rep: -59
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #132 on: August 10, 2014, 02:23:35 PM »
For some reason I'm really honest with girls. It's now working, I'm going to start lying.

bea!

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1666
  • Rep: 123
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #133 on: August 11, 2014, 08:26:23 AM »
Relevant.




i need that cardboard cut out.

busey

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5500
  • Rep: 1223
  • i can't it's a geo!
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #134 on: August 11, 2014, 10:40:33 PM »
hi guys,

pick up artist here. at first i had no confidence and had a hard time fitting in or picking up on social cues which i thought tipping my fedora and saying m'lady would fix but simply didn't. then i found another group of guys having the same problem. now my life is changed. started wearing v-necks and wearing ribbons and all sorts of goofy bullshit when i go out to the clubs. if you thought women were people, well.. you're wrong. they're actually just pawns in our step by step game to lure them into our rape lair. simply 'nag them' which is simply just telling them stuff like 'hi you're pretty, but you would be a lot prettier if you didn't have a wheelchair LOL' which instantly makes them want to come back and watch the hangover on netflix.
I rolled my ankle jacking off on a ladder.

Rusty Shackleford

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1024
  • Rep: 107
  • you know about goretex?
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #135 on: August 11, 2014, 10:48:41 PM »
I cannot stress this enough stock up on local craft wine

BARGAIN_SHOPPER

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 53
  • Rep: -11
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #136 on: August 14, 2014, 03:51:35 AM »
aye girl? whatchu want in yo stomach a boy or a girl?
fuck it have a corndog.

nice_guy_2

  • Guest
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #137 on: August 21, 2014, 09:24:46 PM »
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

the whompler

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1329
  • Rep: 10
  • https://vimeo.com/user36500511
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #138 on: December 05, 2014, 04:28:32 PM »
hi guys,

pick up artist here. at first i had no confidence and had a hard time fitting in or picking up on social cues which i thought tipping my fedora and saying m'lady would fix but simply didn't. then i found another group of guys having the same problem. now my life is changed. started wearing v-necks and wearing ribbons and all sorts of goofy bullshit when i go out to the clubs. if you thought women were people, well.. you're wrong. they're actually just pawns in our step by step game to lure them into our rape lair. simply 'nag them' which is simply just telling them stuff like 'hi you're pretty, but you would be a lot prettier if you didn't have a wheelchair LOL' which instantly makes them want to come back and watch the hangover on netflix.

peptobismol

  • Guest
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #139 on: August 12, 2020, 01:53:34 AM »
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.

im lactose intolerant. the last thing i ever want to do AGAIN is blow up a toilet after smashing......... i need to learn how to cook. at the very least, ill be able to feed myself.

S.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 736
  • Rep: 25
    • Fotos
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #140 on: August 12, 2020, 02:44:55 AM »
I am against turning every part of one's life into a fucking challenge and a competition.

You are reading manuals about how to manipulate women to think you are someone you are not? The fuck is wrong with you?

peptobismol

  • Guest
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #141 on: August 12, 2020, 03:05:20 AM »
I am against turning every part of one's life into a fucking challenge and a competition.

You are reading manuals about how to manipulate women to think you are someone you are not? The fuck is wrong with you?

a lot

fakie butt drop

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 139
  • Rep: 10
  • take it or leave it
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #142 on: September 05, 2020, 10:29:22 PM »
just tell her you'll nose grind her box if she lipslides your rail
"i just wanna see strippers dance to some fuckin' stoner metal for once, you know?"

Sila

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 702
  • Rep: 37
  • Jamu Gost
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #143 on: September 21, 2020, 05:18:37 AM »
Why did I open this thread.