jesus was so black he was purple.
Actually it's a little know fact, he's from Aberdeen, like all things good, he was born and raised in the North East of Scotland, where he worked in his family business of joinery, some of the work he did can still be seen in the Historic buildings of the Upper Kirkgate and Marshiall Collage buildings, before leaving Aberdeen to explore possible buniess oppertunitiies over seas, he struck apon the idea importing fish and wines from over seas and selling them locally and obviously further afield, his feet became "ashen black" due to poor transport and having to walk long distances with sandels, trade at this point began to worry Jesus as he wondered if this new business venture of fish/wines importing might work, this in turn had and effect on Jesus's hair turning it white - once he had established a company in the far east he and his company's board of directors began trading.
This however came to an end when he was caught out on tax duties or import/exporting due to bad advice from a member of the board a "Judas" the local athorities arrested and imprisoned him, all company asset we seized and he was put on trial for evasion of income tax and non-paid duties
Things then turned bad for him. . .
It's another little known fact his name was actually Jesse McChristie, due to the local dialect he truned to "Jesus Christ" as a name people would understand
It's all in Wikipeidia i swear