Author Topic: Fat Chick Story Thread  (Read 111324 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24722
  • Rep: -917
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #90 on: June 09, 2009, 05:50:14 PM »
Expand Quote
So it must have been one of the first times I was getting actually wasted in grade nine. We actually found a dude to buy us some booze, so me and a group of probably 15 others are all in a park pounding. There are these 3 chicks I am talking too. 1 tanned brunette with big tits tanned skin, fucking hot.. one skinny little blonde, also a babe, and this fat girl. We are all drinking, I have some serious liquid courage so I am chatting them all up. One thing leads to another and they all start trying to give me a boner for some reason, this turns to all 3 of us making out super hard on the grass. It was so rad, everyone was watching in disbelief. I kept trying to gun for some hjs/bjs but it didn't go down.

Flash to one year later, a bunch of us go camping for a weekend at Wasaga beach which is just like this little party town 2 hours north of toronto. We are all partying when a bunch of us decide to go swimming at like midnight, with who else but the same three chicks. We get in the water and start reminiscing of our drunken grade nine make-out. This chat leads to them suggesting we go at it again. The first brunette girl swims over and starts making out. I then get tapped on the shoulder by the blonde. It's her turn. Continue with her... then I hear these giant splashes and I see the fat girl slowly moving in my direction with the most awkward front stroke ever. As she gets up to me, I just let out my breath, sink to the bottom of the lake and swim for it. After I surfaced I heard her cussing at me as I bolted for shore.

This didn't work in my favor, as I had left the 2 hot girls out there with my other friends and one of them banged the brunette.
[close]

soooo good
yep. I thought you were going to say you hooked up with a fatty straight up your first time being drunk, which would be epic in its own way.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Coastal_chaos

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #91 on: June 09, 2009, 11:32:06 PM »
this story's pretty shitty compared to the rest

some time last year I was at my buds house he was having a thrasher that was pretty decent for most of the night, but it wasnt anything crazy-good. it happened to be full of fucking couples who were all looking for rooms or a closet to fuck in. feeling kinda shitty about myself i rolled outside and smoked a good 2 or 3 dubs, i felt kinda greasy cause some friends had pitched for those dubs, but i thought fuck it they were all getting laid. afterwards I went back inside and into the dude's living room where someone had put on the big lebowski on tv. i thought hey im fucking baked ill watch walter fuck some shit up.

sitting there for a few minutes and this chick sits on the couch beside me. she was pretty fat but one of the ones that you just cant TELL for some reason (she had really nice legs, fucking thick but firm, all the fat was in her stomach and arms) with some good tits so I was down. I made some joke about the movie and we got to talking, she was lonely as hell and I when Im baked I act so much better around chicks. anyway we started making out and i was rubbing her thighs pretty thoroughly, got my hand to her pussy and it was all going pretty well i was doing all the right shit. then i moved her ontop, and she put her arms around me and i got the fattiest whiff of her armpits.

i no joke got up and left then and there didnt even say shit. felt kinda like an asshole but when you fucking smell something that shitty and it actually makes you go flaccid, you fucking run. one of those totally chied "fight or flight" moments. I flew like a bitch.

alienlurkshop

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 573
  • Rep: -30
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #92 on: August 04, 2009, 10:04:58 PM »
Expand Quote
I agree. And even if you manage to justify it with them, how the hell do you justify it with yourself? Fatties are the worst of the worst. I absolutely hate fat ladies. I don't get how they get so fuckin obese and still feel attractive.They all seem to try to compensate their inhumane uglyness by being overly arrogant and stupid. It's like the fat makes its way in their brains. They all stink and I dont even want to think about what their pussys smell/look like. I hate fat girls. They outright disgust me.

That being said I really enjoy reading this thread, thanks for sharing your stories...I dont have one, because honestly: I never even speak to fat people. I usually hold my breath when a fat girl walks past me, because I'm afraid it might be contagious.
[close]
Yeah, I feel you on that. The one that really bugs me out is when the fat girl has clearly spent a good deal of time doing herself up, putting on make up, doing her hair, wearing clothes that were clearly planned out for a while... It's like, hey bitch! spend some time working out instead of shopping, doing your make up, or going to get your hair done nice. If you spent the time you spend doing that doing sit ups or jogging or something, you'd get laid a lot more often, and would be more respected. Fat girls in make up remind me of Miss. Piggy.

You know what is the worst kind of fat chick though? The one who probably was hot before she went to college and became a beer swilling whore. Slowly but surely the beer gut just pops in there, and they get fatter and fatter. Party girl doesn't realize this and keeps acting like little miss hot party girl who everybody wants to fuck, but slowly but surely nobody wants to fuck her anymore until she finds some poor sexually frustrated dudes to dangle her pussy abyss in front of. Its really sad, an old roommate I had was that guy. I think he met her when she was still hot, and just saw that image of her in his eyes still. She would come over, get wasted, and flirt with him a little, and then try to actually fuck the rest of his roommates, of course, nobody else was interested.
You know the best possible outcome for that situation? When it was some cocky bitch who was full of herself and was super hot in high school. Sometimes going on facebook and randomly searching makes me want to do a dance to see what college has done to these uppity bitches. It makes me want to send them a message like "In high school I thought you were hot, but you were always bitch to me, now you're just a fatty! HAHAHAHA!"
this chic liz goes to my school she acts like shes the shit around school cause she just bangs dudes at parties I bet when shes in college she'll be a fat whore

James Joyce

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 235
  • Rep: 46
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #93 on: August 04, 2009, 10:30:44 PM »
There's a notorious fat chick around these parts called shark cause of her weird teeth. They looked like razors blades or something out of the alien trilogy. Anyway I convinced her to give me head and my buddies found out and starting doing the jaws theme song and shouting nom nom nom nom right about the time I climaxed. Cutting the story short, I shot my load right between the eyes.  8)
they're a whole gang of rag tag scalliwag's, but helga in the back is definitely in it for the strudels

BriDen

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #94 on: August 04, 2009, 10:45:45 PM »
There's a notorious fat chick around these parts called shark cause of her weird teeth. They looked like razors blades or something out of the alien trilogy. Anyway I convinced her to give me head and my buddies found out and starting doing the jaws theme song and shouting nom nom nom nom right about the time I climaxed. Cutting the story short, I shot my load right between the eyes.  8)
So let me get this straight. Your homies were just watching you get blown by a fattie, then proceeded to sing as you busted on her face?

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24722
  • Rep: -917
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #95 on: August 05, 2009, 12:58:08 AM »
Last weekend I was hanging out with my friend who was dating a chubby chick. She was the classic drunk mistake type fat chick, where she had a cute face, and as I drank and drank, I started hyping that idea up in my head, and overlooking her fatness, which was the unfortunate kind that doesn't even give her nice junk in the trunk. We all got super duper wasted, then we went back to his place, and he busted out a nitrous tank. I usually am not that into that, but was really really drunk, and was down to put whatever was given to me into my body. My friend passes out after a little but of the ol' laughing gas, and me and the chubby chick keep taking nitrous, and start kind of feeling on eachother when we were high on it. Then we started making out. Then he woke up, and started swearing a lot at both of us. He told me to go up stairs (he lives in the basement) to the main room, and started yelling at her. I should have taken it as my cue to leave, but instead I just went up to the living room, started taking bong rips, and popped in a vhs of half baked. About 20 minutes in I started to sober up, and realized that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to spend the night there as I originally planned. Got up and skated out the door. As I got about a block away, I heard him screaming at me, and knew it was the right move. The next day he was still kind of pissed, and started talking shit to his roommates, all of whom are friends of mine, about the incident. I don't know what is more embarassing to know that they know, the fact that I was hooking up with his semi-girlfriend (but its one of three girlfriends he claims) while I was wasted, or the fact that it was that fat chick. We smoothed things over since. I hope this story of fat women and trashy drugs makes you all feel a little uneasy.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Beer Keg Peg Leg

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5372
  • Rep: -31
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #96 on: August 05, 2009, 06:49:41 AM »
First time I made out with a girl I was a 9th grader. Me and some homies are at a party and they are all hooking up with chicks that were all in the same chick posse. So I was sitting there on a couch pretty drunk and got to talking to the fat chick from the chick posse about smoking cigarettes. We both smoke a cigarette like the cool little ninth graders we are and start making out. Eventually both posses want to go to McDonalds so me and fat chick go there. She buys a a large mcnuggets meal and a sunday and she starts eating the sunday and making out with me thereby transfering the sunday to my mouth. I went along with it because I thought thats what people did when they make out. My friend snapped a photo of it and it looked like a mother penguin regurgitating food into her young's mouth. Good times.

Bobbito

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1712
  • Rep: -14
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #97 on: August 05, 2009, 06:56:17 AM »
I hooked up with this thick chick in the beginning of June and didn't talk to her for about 2 months because I left the country and this and that. Anyways, we were drunk texting back and forth for the previous week til one night she finally came over. After we were done fucking, we layed around for a sec and then I told her I was too tired to chill anymore and not feeling well. I'm about to go brush my teeth and go to bed when I look and on my fingers is what looks like faint blood crust. No lie....looked like little flakes of blood...I check my sheets and theres straight up blood skidmarks, also very faint but FUCKING GROSS! Bleached that shit right away, threw some new sheets on, and passed out. Fuck that hoe never calling her again

odp

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #98 on: August 05, 2009, 11:19:06 AM »
Last weekend I was hanging out with my friend who was dating a chubby chick. She was the classic drunk mistake type fat chick, where she had a cute face, and as I drank and drank, I started hyping that idea up in my head, and overlooking her fatness, which was the unfortunate kind that doesn't even give her nice junk in the trunk. We all got super duper wasted, then we went back to his place, and he busted out a nitrous tank. I usually am not that into that, but was really really drunk, and was down to put whatever was given to me into my body. My friend passes out after a little but of the ol' laughing gas, and me and the chubby chick keep taking nitrous, and start kind of feeling on eachother when we were high on it. Then we started making out. Then he woke up, and started swearing a lot at both of us. He told me to go up stairs (he lives in the basement) to the main room, and started yelling at her. I should have taken it as my cue to leave, but instead I just went up to the living room, started taking bong rips, and popped in a vhs of half baked. About 20 minutes in I started to sober up, and realized that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to spend the night there as I originally planned. Got up and skated out the door. As I got about a block away, I heard him screaming at me, and knew it was the right move. The next day he was still kind of pissed, and started talking shit to his roommates, all of whom are friends of mine, about the incident. I don't know what is more embarassing to know that they know, the fact that I was hooking up with his semi-girlfriend (but its one of three girlfriends he claims) while I was wasted, or the fact that it was that fat chick. We smoothed things over since. I hope this story of fat women and trashy drugs makes you all feel a little uneasy.

i've got a good buddy like yours. He's always got 3 "girlfriends" who are all usually a little overweight and super easy. Dude always gets pissed when they come onto one of the homies and in a twisted way demands that we respects them as if he were doing the same. It's such a joke. One of them started texting me the other day when we were drinking beer on the tracks and dude lost his shit, "what the fuck, is my girlfriend flirting with you? why you talking to her... blha blah blah." stupid hoes, i tell ya

Arizona

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #99 on: August 05, 2009, 02:44:44 PM »
One time I was drunk with some friends and this chubby girl sent me a text telling me she had some people over at her house with some beer and told me to come to her house. So I walk a mile up this huge hill drunk at midnight, I don't know how I didn't get caught by the police, I was singing the doors all the way to her house. As soon as I get up there she was sitting in her backyard by herself and I asked her where everyone was and she told me to come sit down. I take a seat and she grabs my hotdog and unzips my pants. Also this is the first time I got a handjob so I didn't even care that I was drunk and outside. So she's doing her thing and I'm just sitting there enjoying it and then her neighbor walks outside and all I could do was cross my legs and he starts talking to us for like 10 whole minutes and I'm sitting there with a boner. After he left the the girl told me that I had to go, and I hadn't experienced blue balls and I didn't want to find out so I asked her if I could use her bathroom to finish and she said no. So i just finished on her swinging chair and put a pillow over it. I haven't lived that story down yet.

tough omelette

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2271
  • Rep: 112
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #100 on: August 05, 2009, 04:01:17 PM »
Expand Quote

[close]
Expand Quote

[close]

Oh fuck you dude! So rad! That chick is fucking perfect man. Fat ass cute face.

How were the tits?

First of all, Asians are naturally nasty as fuck. Second of all when they're beefy they are super double XL nasty. The girl I learned how to be nasty with was a beefy Asian. She changed my fucking life.

Robot, I love you man. Like I said, brothers from different mothers.
BUMP


j0rdan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1512
  • Rep: 82
  • ))<>(( forever.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #101 on: August 05, 2009, 04:05:55 PM »
I'd like to put my weiner in between that azn girls bum cheeks and fuck them as if I were tit frigging a girl. then I would have doggystyle sex with her until I cummed (approx 5 min, I don't care about her needs) then proceed to leave her house as she laid there confused and disappointed

Guile

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8249
  • Rep: 368
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #102 on: August 05, 2009, 05:24:57 PM »
One time me and my friend were wasted at a pub and this beast lurked over and handed us her phone number and told both of us to call her in 15 minutes. we didnt do it but we still see her everyday because its such a small town and everytime i burst into laughter.


               DGK
              SOME
              TIMES

SanchoDave

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #103 on: August 05, 2009, 06:02:46 PM »
One time me and my friend were wasted at a pub and this beast lurked over and handed us her phone number and told both of us to call her in 15 minutes. we didnt do it but we still see her everyday because its such a small town and everytime i burst into laughter.




where do you live dude I will slay that beast...hammered of course...

kilgore.

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4561
  • Rep: 315
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #104 on: August 05, 2009, 06:05:52 PM »
man that picture has got a nigga's dick all relaxed an' shit over here.
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

Watson

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6187
  • Rep: 965
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #105 on: August 05, 2009, 09:15:29 PM »
I take a seat and she grabs my hotdog and unzips my pants.

So she gave you a handjob AND stole your hot dog? Fuck man, she MUST have been fat.

I'd like to put my weiner in between that azn girls bum cheeks and fuck them as if I were tit frigging a girl

Dude that shit is super fun. I call it "tit fuckin her big fat butt cheeks" say it out loud sort of fast with a little flavour. It's got a nice ring to it.

Arizona

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #106 on: August 05, 2009, 10:52:05 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote

[close]
Expand Quote

[close]

Oh fuck you dude! So rad! That chick is fucking perfect man. Fat ass cute face.

How were the tits?

First of all, Asians are naturally nasty as fuck. Second of all when they're beefy they are super double XL nasty. The girl I learned how to be nasty with was a beefy Asian. She changed my fucking life.

Robot, I love you man. Like I said, brothers from different mothers.
[close]
BUMP



Dear Starving Robot,

Please post more pics of this young lady. All of them would be very nice, if you do I will paint you a picture and send it to you free of charge.

Love, Nic aka Arizona  :-*

barr

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1445
  • Rep: 29
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #107 on: August 08, 2009, 04:23:11 PM »
I guess I joined this club today
and you know what? it was fun

Dr. Evan

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 253
  • Rep: 24
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #108 on: August 09, 2009, 03:02:23 AM »
truth time.  the night i lost my virginity coincided with the first night i ever got drunk.  i bet you can guess the size of the young woman whom i lost my virginity to.  all i remember was that i didn't wanna be on bottom, her name was clarice, she had a Primus tat and i blew a load on the inside of her thigh, which looked like one of those honey baked hams.  anyways, it could have been worse.
Time you enjoyed wasting is never wasted - John Lennon

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24722
  • Rep: -917
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #109 on: August 09, 2009, 03:24:24 AM »
Hey, at least you blew a load your first time, and while drunk no less.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Dr. Evan

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 253
  • Rep: 24
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #110 on: August 09, 2009, 03:44:43 AM »
Hey, at least you blew a load your first time, and while drunk no less.

i was like 16.  it wasn't really super drunk as much as it was really buzzed.  just inebriated enough to make dicey decisions that your friends still bring up for years to come. I'm 27 now and someone brought it up on my birthday.
Time you enjoyed wasting is never wasted - John Lennon

Watson

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6187
  • Rep: 965
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #111 on: August 09, 2009, 07:35:47 PM »
There's this one fatty that I used to fuck around with because she had crazy big fat chick tits, a cute face, and gave the most insane blowjobs ever. I've talked about her before on here. Well one time I went out for me and my friends' regular wednesday wing night, got into some pitchers, and got pretty fuckin drunk. When I got home I decided I wanted to get more wasted, but I was too drunk to drive, the beer store was too far to walk to, and it was winter so I couldn't ride my bike or my skateboard. So I called up this fatty who I hadn't talked to in months, and was like "Come pick me up. Call when you get outside." I had her at my beck and call so she did what I said, and I got in her parents' mini-van and was like "You're gonna drive me to the beer store then you're gonna suck my dick."

So she drove me to the beer store, and I cracked a tall can as I was walking out the door and got into the van and was like "Okay go to my place now." So then I grabbed her hand and put it on my crotch so she rubbed my dick through my pants on the way home. Then we got to my house and she gave me a long ass blowjob while I chugged tall Buds and whipped the cans at the wall when I was done them.

And then she folded my laundry.

sheboyganheadben

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 151
  • Rep: -21
  • shotgun to the dick
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #112 on: August 09, 2009, 08:48:02 PM »
She buys a a large mcnuggets meal and a sunday and she starts eating the sunday and making out with me thereby transfering the sunday to my mouth. I went along with it because I thought thats what people did when they make out. My friend snapped a photo of it and it looked like a mother penguin regurgitating food into her young's mouth. Good times.
i just shit my pants from laughter. never smashed a fat chick. i gained standards in middle school after a y dance. i was with these two girls i knew that i was friends with because they were fat and loud and knew every girl that i could possibly want to fuck. we were at one of their houses and they started makin out, tryin to coax me in, and i figured fuck it cant be that bad as so many naive 6th graders think. i remember when i joined in thinkin "damn one of these mouths is really big". but they were grabbin on my shit so i went with and decided to brave near suffocation. anyways they took off their shirts and i saw their titties and i remember being pretty fuckin disgusted. not necessarily by the titties themselves, more just the gnarly rolls and gross amount of flab around and underneath the titties. but one of the girls had the goat titties, the titties that like hang and come to a point and have fat ass pink nipples that take up way too much area of the knocks. i'm still pretty grossed out by goat titties. they made out for a few seconds and sucked on each others titties and when lips touched the goat nip i literally shuttered and was like yeah my dad wants me home by 12 i gotta go. i've never looked back since and think it was a drastic turning point in my life. i remember thinking yeah i should prolly just get a girlfriend.

"One time I was on mushrooms and I was skating vert and it was kill. Everything turned into sequences. Kickflips would be like: click, click, click...It was Kill"-Darren Navarette

rawbertson.

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5212
  • Rep: 1227
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #113 on: August 10, 2009, 08:38:08 AM »
my friend told me on saturday he banged this fat chick and he said "since im doing this for you, you have to buy me mcdonalds" and she did. sounded true by how sincere he was. my friends were even saying she wasnt even that bad, but he seemed bummed.
ONTARIO CANADA

Lance

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5144
  • Rep: 581
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #114 on: August 10, 2009, 11:22:07 AM »
thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.
Anyone else notice that Tony Parker is the Gino of basketball?

tag_king

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3270
  • Rep: 278
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #115 on: August 10, 2009, 02:32:33 PM »
thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.

Man I hear that. I have told this story in other threads I think but you just reminded me about how it fits in here.

First girl I went down on was new years eve. She had huge cans though and just kind of like this awkward body, a little bit pudgy. I was so tuned at the time I went down on her. She was getting into it, and asking me to fuck her but with the state that I was in I couldn't piece it together because I was looking for a bj so bad. Woke up the next day with so much regret. I also realized that my buddy and his girlfriend were in the bed in the room sleeping the whole time. The one good thing about it was that it was Jason Spezza's younger sister, so I am pretty stoked to be able to tell people that story now.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24722
  • Rep: -917
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #116 on: August 10, 2009, 02:59:39 PM »
Oh man, I used to have this buddy named Andy who loved fat chicks but wouldn't own up to it for the longest!  Every time we'd be at a bar and a group of girls would walk in he'd pick the fattest one out and say, "don't worry guys, I'll take one for the team." and we'd give shit about not owning up to his love of big girls.

Anyways, Andy picked up this WHALE one night, I mean she was probably 5'5" and pushing 250 EASY.  He wants to take a cab home but he has no money, so he asks the cabbie if he can get her to suck him off, can they ride for free.  The cabbie goes for it, and whats funnier is that SHE was for it too!!  So she gives this cabbie a blowjob and Andy gets a free ride and then takes her home and fucks her.  But the story doesn't end there.  The cabbie was so down for it that he gives Andy his card for his own limo service and says that whenever Andy is in need of a ride to give it a call and that no matter how deep the group Andy is with, they will all get a ride home for free.  So we are all calling bullshit at a bar one night and Andy decides to prove it so.  Sure enough, this shitty 1970s limo pulls up and gave us a ride home.  It was the shittiest limo too, none of the lights inside worked and the driver was asking us if we could score some "good shit" when asked what said "good shit" was, he replied, "meth of course!!"  Hahahaha soooo gnarly.  I should also mention that this went down when I was living in Little Rock, AR.
That's pretty funny. There was a methed out gypsy limo I used to call in SF from time to time. Randomly convinced the guy to pick us up one time, and he said he was down whenever for just $7 per person per way to go anywhere in town, which is way cheaper than a cab. Took the limo a couple of times, but the dudes disgusting sex stories, that always involved meth and took place right where I was sitting, combined with his overall sketchiness turned me off to the whole thing
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Watson

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6187
  • Rep: 965
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #117 on: August 10, 2009, 07:26:07 PM »
Oh fuck guys. Rule #1 of getting with fatties: Never go down on that mess.

Never.

odp

  • Guest
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #118 on: August 10, 2009, 07:45:36 PM »
This weekend i met a girl who was really good looking at a party where i was staying. However, she had a realllly, really nasty fat friend with her. I mean this bitches cankles were thicker than my neck. She's like the typical fat girl hanging out with a hot friend, completely up her ass, trying to hit on me while i've got my arm around the good looking one, just sucking at life.

So, we all walk down to hear a band play and get some grub and i convince diana, the nice one, to leave with me to go back to the house to hit the keg. We leave the fatty alone in the seats and head to the house, where we started to make out. No longer than 10 minutes later, the fattie comes back to the house in a huff because we "abandoned her."

Now, we move in and out of a few bars and end up back at the house around 130-2am. This whole thing is repeating itself over and over again. Me and diana started messing around away from the group, and fatty 14 chins gets pissy. I decided to get fatty drunk, hoping she'd pass out under the table or someshit. It starts to work fairly well, she was leaving us alone and shit.

At this point, i'm starting to black out, i'd put in MAD WORK, at least 5 hours worth on this girl, and we start really going at it while everyone else is passing out around us. She starts taking my pants off to jerk me off or suck my dick or something, and BLAM, fatty 16 chins comes in and sits down next to us.

I said "listen, it's like this. You're fat, you need to leave, now."

fatty flipped out and they left together.

Dianna texted me at 4am and said that she was sorry but fatty was the ride home.

i'm still bitter

nice weather

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2674
  • Rep: 533
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #119 on: August 11, 2009, 01:39:34 AM »
sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.