Author Topic: Fat Chick Story Thread  (Read 122202 times)

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rawbertson.

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #120 on: August 11, 2009, 10:35:15 AM »
i am tryin to get with a fat chick now but i want to make sure i dont have any stds
ONTARIO CANADA

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #121 on: August 11, 2009, 12:09:42 PM »
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sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.
[close]
Yeah Im gonna have to agree...Your pretty much fucked she's gonna be wanting to hang out more and more and then soon enough you will be dating that fat slob
Or he can be a dick to her outright and just hurt her feelings instead.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

odp

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #122 on: August 11, 2009, 02:31:47 PM »
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sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.
[close]
Yeah Im gonna have to agree...Your pretty much fucked she's gonna be wanting to hang out more and more and then soon enough you will be dating that fat slob
[close]
Or he can be a dick to her outright and just hurt her feelings instead.

it's easy enough.

down the street girls are just like girls at work, all you've got to do is call em cunts a few times.

SanchoDave

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #123 on: August 11, 2009, 04:23:22 PM »
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sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.
[close]
Yeah Im gonna have to agree...Your pretty much fucked she's gonna be wanting to hang out more and more and then soon enough you will be dating that fat slob
[close]
Or he can be a dick to her outright and just hurt her feelings instead.

that's how I break up with em...

skate_bored

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #124 on: August 11, 2009, 06:47:48 PM »
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sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.
[close]

fuck...she hits me up ALL THE TIME now about random shit and even posts bulletins about me on myspace, its pretty weird
I'm sure I could just break it off when college starts in a couple of weeks and I'll say I'm too busy
but she gave me the best bj I have ever had today ha, the girls i've been with would never let me finish in the mouf

ABORT. ABORT. ABORT!

get out while you still can. fall in love with an awesome girl, not a fat girl who gives a good blowjob.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #125 on: August 12, 2009, 02:11:49 AM »
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sounds like you'll never get rid of that girl now. down the street? virgin? danger.
[close]
Yeah Im gonna have to agree...Your pretty much fucked she's gonna be wanting to hang out more and more and then soon enough you will be dating that fat slob
[close]
Or he can be a dick to her outright and just hurt her feelings instead.
[close]
Sometimes its the best way
that's how I break up with em...
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

snickers

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #126 on: October 27, 2009, 05:45:03 AM »
bumped
fatcockXL deserves to be mod on the strength of his name alone

ahlee

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #127 on: October 27, 2009, 05:49:12 AM »
fat chicks suck balls, truth.

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #128 on: October 27, 2009, 07:22:16 AM »
I dont enjoy getting my balls sucked. I think it tickles and hurts at the same time. Why would you want a girl to suck on your balls when at the same time you could instead get your dick sucked?
I'll go frontside on some tranny for you.

ahlee

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #129 on: October 27, 2009, 07:24:27 AM »
you havent had your balls sucked correctly.

Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #130 on: October 27, 2009, 07:36:15 AM »
I recently fucked a 5'6" fat chick in a shower stall.


The pleasure induced from the standing missionary up against the grimy shower wall was unfathomable.    ;D
if post- retirement duke nukem bagged that azz i have a chance too

Watson

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #131 on: October 27, 2009, 07:36:50 PM »
you havent had your balls sucked correctly.

I agree with Ahlee. I seriously can't come from just a regular blowjob. The girl's gotta go to town on my balls. I'd pick a half hour of getting my balls licked/sucked over the dick anyday.

odp

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #132 on: October 27, 2009, 07:45:42 PM »
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you havent had your balls sucked correctly.
[close]

I agree with Ahlee. I seriously can't come from just a regular blowjob. The girl's gotta go to town on my balls. I'd pick a half hour of getting my balls licked/sucked over the dick anyday.

this one girl tried to convince me to get my balls waxed, insisting that they'd get sucked more if i did it. i laughed hard.

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #133 on: January 05, 2010, 07:20:22 AM »
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you havent had your balls sucked correctly.
[close]

I agree with Ahlee. I seriously can't come from just a regular blowjob. The girl's gotta go to town on my balls. I'd pick a half hour of getting my balls licked/sucked over the dick anyday.
[close]

this one girl tried to convince me to get my balls waxed, insisting that they'd get sucked more if i did it. i laughed hard.

a girl asked me to shave my balls once. out of curiosity i asked "why?" all she said was "just do it pussy" so i did, and later that night i was introduced to my balls being in someones mouth. Havent looked back since.


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jeremyrandall

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #134 on: January 09, 2010, 01:37:25 PM »
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you havent had your balls sucked correctly.
[close]

I agree with Ahlee. I seriously can't come from just a regular blowjob. The girl's gotta go to town on my balls. I'd pick a half hour of getting my balls licked/sucked over the dick anyday.

I completely forgot...but after reading this little exchange back in October...I introduced my balls to my girlfriend's mouth.  They now have regular meetings.  It's AWESOME!!!

So thanks guys is basically what I'm getting at....

Nic

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #135 on: January 10, 2010, 07:38:27 PM »
I thought this was funny.

Last Friday at my job we were taking inventory and the general manager came to overview it. She's not really fat just a little chunky and we got done a little early and one of the guys I work with invited us over to his house because he doesn't like to drink alone. We all go over there and everyone is starting to get pretty tipsy and the general manager told me she had something to talk to me about and it had to do with my job. We both go into the back room and she starts to make out with me and about 30 seconds in all the other employees bust in laughing. I thought it was kinda funny but the girl freaked out got mad and left. Then this morning when I go into work my manager tells me that employee relationships aren't allowed and that the GM wanted to fire me but I guess some people took pics on their phones of us making out and she thought about it and decided to just put me on probation. My manager went to high school with her so she's not afraid of her and she stuck up for me and I think that's the coolest thing  any employee can ever do.

Why do so many fat girls think they're God's gift to earth?

alrightythen

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #136 on: January 15, 2010, 06:30:29 AM »
so your GM made out with you and then said she had to fire you?

overheated

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #137 on: January 21, 2010, 05:35:03 AM »
Been there done that. Luckily for me I was so disgracefully drunk I had no memory of the event at all; I just woke up next to something resembling Snorlax, quietly left and then had one of the best skate sessions of my life for some reason

Nic

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #138 on: January 21, 2010, 01:31:32 PM »
so your GM made out with you and then said she had to fire you?

Yup except she wanted my manager to fire me.

raul

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #139 on: January 23, 2010, 04:45:47 PM »
thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.

Damn I hear that one. The first girl I fingered--who wasn't fat by the way, I'm sorry ahead of time--was the most confusing & nastiest thing I ever encountered. Before the incident I had asked my buddy at work about how to go about it, because he said his girl loves his "magic fingers." So he breaks it down for me, gives me pointers on the clit & lips & all that. I decide to give it a shot with an ex I had recently been hooking up with again that night.

We drive to our "spot"--the cemetary--and we begin to make out. I get her pants off and dive in, literally. Whatever was down there.. I don't know. The best way I could describe it was that it was like Chewbacca on the outside, and Jabba the Hutt on the inside. It was like a cave; my whole hand was in some slimey mess, and her carpet seemed to go on forever. She asked me if I needed help, and being notorious for blurting things out without thinking I say, "Yeah where the hell is your clit? I have no idea what's going on down here." She giggles thankfully, and tells me that she doesn't know where her clit is, but she knows where her G-Spot is. Her fucking G-SPOT. That's not meant for hand-work, so after three minutes of excavating, I gave it up. She then gave me my first & worst blowjob ever.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2010, 04:49:17 PM by raul »

CeeyMar

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #140 on: January 23, 2010, 07:35:30 PM »
The fuck? Hit the g-spot when fingering a girl and she'll melt in your hands man.

jeremyrandall

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #141 on: January 24, 2010, 01:13:10 AM »
The fuck? Hit the g-spot when fingering a girl and she'll melt in your hands man.

This is very true.

raul

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #142 on: January 24, 2010, 09:48:54 AM »
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The fuck? Hit the g-spot when fingering a girl and she'll melt in your hands man.
[close]

This is very true.


Hahahahah sorry, I should've said that that was what I was thinking during that moment and for a while after; I've learned since. Three inches in, on the front wall. Haven't looked back.

Boston.

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #143 on: January 25, 2010, 08:57:43 PM »
raul can attest to how gross and how not psyched worthy my fat chick incident was. i was walking from one party to another with my buddy pauly and we decided to pop by our friends house to say hi and invite them to a party..at one in the morning. we go in and everyone is sitting in this room. one by one everyone leaves until it was me and this fat hipster/goth type hybrid who was 28 and owned a hip thriftstore. i was 18 at the time. i go to leave and she asks me where i was going.  i told her that i was leaving and she told me i wasn't. she grabbed my head and started yanking me down while i was yelling "no. don't do that. you don't do that. no-" and i start flailing my arms as she has a death grip on me. i get out of it and look over to see everyone laughing and i ran out screaming that she bit my teeth

RicoTron

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #144 on: January 29, 2010, 09:29:33 PM »
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raul can attest to how gross and how not psyched worthy my fat chick incident was. i was walking from one party to another with my buddy pauly and we decided to pop by our friends house to say hi and invite them to a party..at one in the morning. we go in and everyone is sitting in this room. one by one everyone leaves until it was me and this fat hipster/goth type hybrid who was 28 and owned a hip thriftstore. i was 18 at the time. i go to leave and she asks me where i was going.  i told her that i was leaving and she told me i wasn't. she grabbed my head and started yanking me down while i was yelling "no. don't do that. you don't do that. no-" and i start flailing my arms as she has a death grip on me. i get out of it and look over to see everyone laughing and i ran out screaming that she bit my teeth
[close]

Boston: Hi, my name is Boston... and I was nearly raped...
Group: Hi Boston!

A fat girl doesn't have to physically fuck you to take away your dignity. A look is all it takes...cause I was also raped by a fat woman. At least she bought me taco bell afterwards.

Crazy Ralph

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #145 on: February 24, 2010, 02:46:04 PM »
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thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.
[close]

Damn I hear that one. The first girl I fingered--who wasn't fat by the way, I'm sorry ahead of time--was the most confusing & nastiest thing I ever encountered. Before the incident I had asked my buddy at work about how to go about it, because he said his girl loves his "magic fingers." So he breaks it down for me, gives me pointers on the clit & lips & all that. I decide to give it a shot with an ex I had recently been hooking up with again that night.

We drive to our "spot"--the cemetary--and we begin to make out. I get her pants off and dive in, literally. Whatever was down there.. I don't know. The best way I could describe it was that it was like Chewbacca on the outside, and Jabba the Hutt on the inside. It was like a cave; my whole hand was in some slimey mess, and her carpet seemed to go on forever. She asked me if I needed help, and being notorious for blurting things out without thinking I say, "Yeah where the hell is your clit? I have no idea what's going on down here." She giggles thankfully, and tells me that she doesn't know where her clit is, but she knows where her G-Spot is. Her fucking G-SPOT. That's not meant for hand-work, so after three minutes of excavating, I gave it up. She then gave me my first & worst blowjob ever.
haha the cemetery?
You either die a hero or live long enough to watch yourself become the Berra.

raul

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #146 on: February 24, 2010, 09:47:28 PM »
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thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.
[close]

Damn I hear that one. The first girl I fingered--who wasn't fat by the way, I'm sorry ahead of time--was the most confusing & nastiest thing I ever encountered. Before the incident I had asked my buddy at work about how to go about it, because he said his girl loves his "magic fingers." So he breaks it down for me, gives me pointers on the clit & lips & all that. I decide to give it a shot with an ex I had recently been hooking up with again that night.

We drive to our "spot"--the cemetary--and we begin to make out. I get her pants off and dive in, literally. Whatever was down there.. I don't know. The best way I could describe it was that it was like Chewbacca on the outside, and Jabba the Hutt on the inside. It was like a cave; my whole hand was in some slimey mess, and her carpet seemed to go on forever. She asked me if I needed help, and being notorious for blurting things out without thinking I say, "Yeah where the hell is your clit? I have no idea what's going on down here." She giggles thankfully, and tells me that she doesn't know where her clit is, but she knows where her G-Spot is. Her fucking G-SPOT. That's not meant for hand-work, so after three minutes of excavating, I gave it up. She then gave me my first & worst blowjob ever.
[close]
haha the cemetery?

Yeah man, it's fairly common for people to do that. It's the perfect spot for a 17 year old trying to get his mack on: No parents snooping around, no one goes there, and real dark. Oh and I checked my mp3 player once we were leaving and "Handjobs for the Holidays" by Broken Social Scene was playing. I told her, she smiled but I don't think she found it as funny as I did.

Bobbito

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #147 on: March 22, 2010, 11:20:28 AM »
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thats tight^^^^

I lost my v-card to a fat chick, best head I ever had, first girl I ever went down on too...shit was like a bull dog eatin mayonaise son, nastiest smelling pussy ever.  Didnt go down on a chick for almost 10 years I was scarred so badly from it.
[close]

Damn I hear that one. The first girl I fingered--who wasn't fat by the way, I'm sorry ahead of time--was the most confusing & nastiest thing I ever encountered. Before the incident I had asked my buddy at work about how to go about it, because he said his girl loves his "magic fingers." So he breaks it down for me, gives me pointers on the clit & lips & all that. I decide to give it a shot with an ex I had recently been hooking up with again that night.

We drive to our "spot"--the cemetary--and we begin to make out. I get her pants off and dive in, literally. Whatever was down there.. I don't know. The best way I could describe it was that it was like Chewbacca on the outside, and Jabba the Hutt on the inside. It was like a cave; my whole hand was in some slimey mess, and her carpet seemed to go on forever. She asked me if I needed help, and being notorious for blurting things out without thinking I say, "Yeah where the hell is your clit? I have no idea what's going on down here." She giggles thankfully, and tells me that she doesn't know where her clit is, but she knows where her G-Spot is. Her fucking G-SPOT. That's not meant for hand-work, so after three minutes of excavating, I gave it up. She then gave me my first & worst blowjob ever.
[close]
haha the cemetery?
[close]

Yeah man, it's fairly common for people to do that. It's the perfect spot for a 17 year old trying to get his mack on: No parents snooping around, no one goes there, and real dark. Oh and I checked my mp3 player once we were leaving and "Handjobs for the Holidays" by Broken Social Scene was playing. I told her, she smiled but I don't think she found it as funny as I did.
hahahahaha Chewbaca hahaha. Funny thing is I lost my v-card in a cemetery so I definitely feel you on cemetery hook ups. Me and this chick I lost it to would fuck everywhere my car could take us. She wasn't fat though so I guess this is irrelevant.

saucy ragu

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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #148 on: November 11, 2010, 11:10:15 AM »
A friend and I were going to a party, but needed to pick up a friend of his along the way. I walked in and all I saw were titties. Oversized shirt, homemade deep V neck, and a push up bra. She had an Angelina Jolie-esque face too: big, hard-staring eyes, strong cheek bones, and plush lips. We sat around and waited for her to feed her cat then bounced. At the party we mostly sat and drank, pulling on cigarettes all night. At one point a blanket comes out and I offer her some, which she accepts. Soon after our hands lock and my game mode is on. Some chick in my group of friends is staring us down hard because she's the type to interject herself into any scenario possible, so I ask my girl if she wants to step outside for a jaunt around the backyard.

We're on our way and I tell her I have to relieve myself. She then expresses the wish that if she were a guy, she "would totally pee in a circle." I simulated her dream, stood on and the spot and circled around, watering the grass while she sat on the swing-set and laughed at my inebriated version of a 360 degree rotation. I think the outline I walked in ended up looking more like the great state of Idaho. I zipped up and go over to sit down next to her, but as soon as my ass touches the Maximum Weight Limit of 200 lbs set, the whole thing collapses inwardly on top of us. Coincidentally, I landed on top of her and went with it and started making out with her. 5 minutes later I stop, because I had to tell her that was the best recovery I ever made. She laughed and I fingerblasted her, then we bounced and that was it for the night.

A couple nights later I went over real late fairly drunk & tired, to try to get it in. We start making out in her living room, and I pull those glorious ham bags out and had more fun than a kid at Discovery Zone. Started fingering her again, and she pulled her pants down. CELLULITE ALERT. A real bad case of it, top of the ass cheeks bad. Now, I'm not knocking women with it in general. It's going to happen someday and I can deal. But DAMN, she had it bad and was pretty young. Not realizing how much leg she actually had, I almost just left, but I held fast--I had already committed myself to this, and if she was going to return the favor then it wouldn't take much for me to imagine that Angelina Jolie's face was working my pole. Going down on that wasn't as bad as I thought, smelled alright thankfully, but the cellulite continued almost down to her knees. Real gnarly stuff. Then someone started unlocking the front door at 3:00AM, so I grabbed the cheetah snuggie faster than it could get away.  Fastest land mammal my foot! I covered us so I could avoid the shame, and told whoever was coming to cover their eyes or not come in. But he lived there so that wasn't happening, but he did shield his eyes the entire way to his room. Meanwhile, homegirl's just smiling 'cause she's the one getting head. Can't blame her.

We wait a minute because that dude shares a room with her and his girlfriend in a lofted area; she's got the bottom and they're up top. We sneak in and start watching Wristcutters on her laptop, and the couple above us start making it. In another situation, that could've been hot shit. But I didn't want to fuck this girl anymore, and felt nervously complied to with that going on. My lids were getting heavy, but we started making out. She climbs on top and I realize that this girl does in fact weigh a bit more than I thought; fucking tits distracted me. We start dry humping and I'm feeling a little tingle that I don't recognize in a half-sleepy state. Half a minute later I realize this girl is about to make me come, I panicked but it was too late: the steady rhythm of her Brazilian cow thighs made me come in my pants like a 13 year old boy. I think she realized it because she slowed down, kissed me, and passed out. I fell asleep for a minute, bummed as fuck, then woke up gasping for air. She fell asleep directly on top of me and was choking me with her dome. This broad had more density than a shit from Nibbler, I swear. It took a couple minutes to get out from under her, but I realized that if I level her up with my knee and shift my weight fast enough, I could tumble out onto the floor. A few successive tries later, I was in my car on my way home, realizing that "this was not the most fit girl" I had hooked up with.
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Re: Fat Chick Story Thread
« Reply #149 on: November 13, 2010, 05:27:02 PM »
The last line of your story was the icing on the fudge cake.